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“Anne,” my father calls from the top of the stairs. “Close the front door immediately, then lock it.” A shiver runs up the back of my spine. He’s using his Association voice.

“But Michael, Sophie has something to tell us about James.” My mother steps towards me and holds me tightly in her grasp. “My darling, darling girl. What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to still be at Harmony for another few days?”

“The door, Anne.” My father’s words come out as a command, not a request.

My mother gives me another quick squeeze and then walks towards the door and shuts it.

“Now, I suggest we all go to my office for a civilized chat,” my father says. “Assuming that’s possible at two in the morning with a child runaway.”

“A runaway?” my mother asks. “What in the world in going on?”

“I’m not a runaway!” I shout. “I’ve come here to tell you something important! Something you don’t know that’s going on!”

“My office. Now.” My father reaches the bottom of the stairs and grabs me by my arm. Unlike my mother’s touch from a moment ago, his grasp is rough, too tight.

We all walk in silence down the hallway, my mother hurrying ahead to open the office door. My father brings me into the room and nearly pushes me into the chair across from his desk. He then leans against the table, his arms folded.

“So, let me get the facts straight, if I may. I receive a phone call at eleven o’clock at night, informing me my daughter, the daughter of an Association Psychologist, I might add, has decided to
break out
of Harmony with the help of a few other degenerates, only to end up at my doorstep a few hours later.” He pauses. “Sophie Marie, do you realize the ramifications of what you’ve done?”

“Wait a minute,” my mother interjects. “What are you talking about? What phone call?” She looks at my father. “Michael, why was I not told about this?”

My father waves her away with his hand.
As if she’s an annoying bug, and not his wife
. “As I was saying, do you have any idea what the consequences of your actions tonight will be? I had to convince the authorities not to come here hours ago, ready to haul you back to Harmony before we’d had a chance to talk. Do you realize how humiliating that was for me? Once I contact them to let them know you’ve arrived, they’ll—”

“Dad! Listen to me!” I stand up and start shouting. I’ve come too far to stop now. “James is dead! He’s dead and they killed him!”

I watch as my mother’s face turns white, her eyes blackened with fear. “No, Sophie, no.” She shakes her head vehemently. “You must be wrong. James is at Full, learning a trade. I receive letters from his instructors on a monthly basis.” She rushes out of the room and comes back a few seconds later, her hands full of paper. “Look at these!” She waves the pages by my face. “Letters about James! One is from last week! No, you are wrong, Sophie, you are wrong!”

“Anne, calm down,” my father says. I can’t help but notice he keeps leaning against his desk, instead of reaching out to comfort his wife. Why isn’t he upset?

I grab both of my mother’s arms, slender as willow branches, and hold them tightly to stop the waving. “Mommy,” I say softly. “I’m so sorry, but it’s true. He’s dead. They killed him. They gave him too much medicine on purpose to kill him. It says so in his file. They have the date they killed him and everything, they call it his End Date. And they’re planning to kill other kids, too!” I turn my head towards my father and raise my voice. “I heard they’ve done the same thing to tons of kids at Harmony, kids with serious problems and kids like James, who just don’t follow the rules!”

“Stop talking foolishness, Sophie Marie,” my father says. “And let go of your mother.”

I loosen my grip and my mother falls to the floor, sobbing. “James, James!” she wails, still waving the papers. “Where’s my baby? What have they done with him?”

“Now, Anne, are you really going to listen to our highly dramatic daughter about something so serious? Based on little rumours or whatnot?”

“They’re not rumours,” I say. I try and stand taller and look him right in the eyes. I don’t like what I see in them. “Me and my friend got into the Full main office. We saw the file, we know what’s happening.” I take in a deep breath. “They’re killing kids! Your friends from the Association are killing kids! You’ve got to call the police and have them arrested! You’ve got to stop them, Daddy!”

My mother looks at my father, her face covered with tears. “Michael? Michael?”

“Anne,” he says, shaking his head. “Surely you don’t think that I would—”

“Then call Full right now and let me talk to James. I need to talk to James!” Her voice is shrill, beseeching. I’ve never heard her talk this way before.

“You know that’s not possible. He’s psychotic. We have to respect what his interventionists have told us. I’m sure we’ll get another update soon.”

“No!” My mother stumbles back to her feet and moves towards the phone. “If you won’t call them, then I will. I’m done listening to you, Michael, I’m done! I need to speak to my son and I will speak to my son!”

As my mother reaches for the phone my father grabs both her arms and pulls her towards him. He sighs, then sighs again. “Please believe me, Anne, that it was all for the best. It was an incredibly difficult decision, but it was ultimately the only one that could be made. While there are procedures and decisions you might not understand, you have to trust me The Association has the greater good in mind in any actions they take. Please, please believe me, my darling.”

My mother struggles in my father’s arms, like a wild animal trapped. She then turns to look at me, her eyes suddenly clear. “Run, Sophie! Run right now!”

I look at my parents in shock, unable to believe everything I’ve just heard, unable to move.

My father lets go of my mother and takes a step towards me. My mother jumps on his back and pulls his hair with both hands. “Run!” she shrieks. “Run!”

Suddenly I’m full of energy and fear and I race towards the front of the house. I try to pull open the door. Locked. My hands shaking, I get the bolt undone and run out of the house, the only home I’ve ever known, and into the lonely night.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

She was not afraid of mice—she loved winter, snow, and ice. To the tiger in the zoo Madeline just said ‘Pooh-pooh...’’

—Ludwig Bemelmans

I race down
my street, suddenly so unfamiliar, and then down another. I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t even know who I am anymore. What’s happening to me?

“Sophie! Wait!” a voice calls out.

At first I think it’s my father and I run faster. Then I see a car and realize it’s Peter, that boy from the Group. I race over to him and try to open the car door, but my hands don’t want to work. “Help me! Help me! He’s going to get me!” I scream, shaking.

Peter jumps out of the car and helps me in. He then gets into the front seat and locks all the doors. “You’re safe now, Sophie,” he says. “The Group will make sure you’re safe.”

He turns on the ignition and begins driving in the opposite direction of where we came. I stay huddled on the back seat, unable to stop shaking. Images of my mother wailing and my father grabbing at her enter my mind, as well as the face of James, dead.
What is happening
?

Peter drives down one road and then another, the roads getting bumpier as he goes. “Better to avoid the highways right now, I think,” he says from the front.

“Do you think my dad would drive after us?” I whisper.

“The police,” he says. “He would have called them by now. They’re probably all looking for you.”

“The police? But why? Won’t he be afraid of getting arrested if they find out?”

“Sophie, the police are controlled by The Association,” Peter says, driving faster. “Everything is controlled by The Association.” He turns abruptly to the right, onto a dirt road in the woods. Branches bang against all of the windows like an angry mob and I lie down on the seat. I’m so frightened that I don’t feel anything anymore.

Eventually, Peter stops the car and parks it. “Now we walk,” he says, getting out and opening my door.

I stay where I’m lying down.

“Sophie? We’ve got to go!”

“I think I peed myself,” I whisper, shame filling my voice.

“We’ll get you changed once we get to the cabin,” he says, holding out his hand. “Come on, now.”

I take his hand and let him pull me out of the car. I’ve never been in such darkness before, the tall trees cutting out the moon and the stars. I keep holding onto Peter’s hand, afraid I’ll be lost forever if I let go.

“Where are we?” I whisper, stumbling across branches and rocks.

“We’re almost home,” he says, holding me tighter.

After about twenty minutes, we reach a tiny building, not much bigger than my room at home. It’s made of wood and covered with branches, so it’s barely noticeable until you’re right in front of it.

“We’re here,” Peter says. He gives three quick knocks on the door, followed by two slower ones and then takes a step back. The door opens and I can make out a few different people in the dim light.

“You’re here!”

I enter the room and the first person I see is Noah. At the sight of his face, all of the numbness leaves my body and I run to him, sobbing.

“It’s okay now, little girl, I’m here,” he whispers, holding me closely.

“I’m here, too,” another voice says.

I turn my face and see Meg standing next to me, surrounded by about five other kids, ranging in ages from about twelve to nineteen.

“Meg? But how?”

“The Group has its ways,” Meg says, grinning her beautiful grin.

I start to smile back, but then all that has just happened hits me and I hold on tighter to Noah. “My dad already knew!” I wail. “He’s one of them too! He’s a part of it too!”

“I’m so sorry, Sophie,” Noah says softly. “I’m just so sorry—”

“And my mother knew nothing! She knew nothing at all!” I sob harder. “She’s married to a monster and she never even knew! And what about Hannah? What will happen to my sister? Will she be safe? Who will protect her?” My sobbing turns to wailing and I let go of Noah. I fall to the wooden floor and curl up like a shrimp.

“Sophie, Sophie,” Noah whispers. He bends down and rubs my back until the shaking stops.

Eventually, I sit back up, my body now numb. “So, I guess that’s it,” I say.

“What do you mean, that’s it?”

“It’s over, it’s done. I might as well just go back to ISTJ and let them do whatever they want to do to me.” I look around. “I mean, what’s the point of anything anymore?”

“And what do you think they’ll do to you?” Noah demands. “Do you think they’ll just let you rejoin the First Years? Now that your father knows that you know? Are you kidding me?”

At the mention of my father, I start to sob again.

This time instead of rubbing my back gently, Noah takes me by both shoulders and shakes me. “You’ve got to stop this, right now!” he says. “Stop it!”

I manage to stop crying and look at Noah. “I’ve just lost my whole family! I’ve lost Aaron! What do you expect from me?”

“You haven’t lost Aaron,” Noah says. “He knows and he’s with us.”

“He’s with us? He’s here?”

Noah shakes his head. “No, he’s…not ready for that. But he knows and he’s promised to keep an eye on things, to get any information if we need it. He gave me his word.”

“He did?” I ask, wiping at my eyes. Aaron’s word is the one thing I can trust completely, the one thing that I know I can depend on.
He gave us his word
.

“Yeah. And he gave me this to give to you.” Noah reaches into his pocket and pulls out a crumbled piece of paper. I flatten it out to see what’s drawn on it. A happy face.

“If that’s not a promise to help, I don’t know what is,” Meg says.

I carefully fold the paper and stick it in my back pocket.
Aaron
. I sit still for a moment, but then a fresh wave of grief strikes. “But what about my family?” I say, tears coming once more. “I’ll never see them again!”

“You have a new family now, Sophie, with us,” Meg says, crouching down next to Noah and me. “We’re all part of this now. No one’s alone. As long as we stick together, we’ll be okay.”

At the mention of us I suddenly notice a few other people in the shadows.

“You can come out now,” Noah calls.

A few more kids step forward to where we’re sitting. A couple of the boys I recognize from Temporary but don’t really know. There’s a new girl from Intermediate. And what’s more, what’s everything, actually, there is Taylor, leaning against a wall and giving me a slow, sleepy smile.

“You can’t give up, Soph,” she whispers, her voice sounding old and hoarse. “You just can’t.”

“But how? I thought that you were stuck in Full—”

“Meg got me out,” she says.

I look over at the older girl, who grins again, her smile so beautiful and so confident it seems out of place here, in this bleak darkness.

“Really?”

“As I just said, we’ve got to stick together,” Meg says, lifting up her hair and showing me the nape of her neck. Then one by one each of them does the same thing, revealing a small happy face on their skin. I look at Noah, I look at Taylor, I think of James, and then I push up my hair too.

“I’m still in,” I say, standing up to join my new family.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Goodnight noises everywhere.

—Margaret Wise Brown

The first night
in the cabin I fall asleep on the floor, a blanket covering me. I wake up famished, as if I haven’t eaten in months. Meg makes me a peanut butter sandwich and then quickly puts together another as I ask for more. With the blanket still around my shoulders, I look around the cabin. It’s a bit bigger than I thought the night before, with two rooms joined together by a narrow hall. In one room is a makeshift kitchen with a long table, a few benches, and what looks like a camping stove shoved under a window. The room also has two ratty looking sofas, a stone fireplace, and shelf after shelf of books. A long clothesline hangs across one side of the room with shirts and jogging pants fastened to it with pegs. In the other room are blankets and mattresses thrown on the floor, as if someone was about to have a giant slumber party. As far as I know, there’s no plumbing and definitely no indoor toilet. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful and welcoming in my life.