Tucker's Crossing (23 page)

“Goliath?”

Cody stopped beside her, casually resting a boot on the lower post, and bit back a smile. Based on her facial expression and the way her body looked ready to drop, he’d better have a backup plan or he was bound to spend the day riding, fishing, and talking—sans Shelby.

Oh, he wouldn’t mind a day with his son. Being out on the range with no interruptions would give him the chance to build some kind of connection. But Cody wanted today to be about the three of them. The perfect first day as a family.

“Now, Shelby Lynn, you aren’t afraid of a little old horse, are you?” Cody teased, nudging her elbow a little, in hopes of loosening her up. No such luck.

“
That
”—her brows knitted together in a totally ticked and absolutely adorable way—“is not a horse. His mama must have been a grizzly. Or worse.”

Cody took Shelby’s hand and led her toward Goliath, an idea sparking. “Figured we’d ride him together.”

“At the same time? I don’t think that’d be a good idea,” Shelby stammered, her face going pink at the cheeks.

“No?” Cody feigned affront.

“No.” She tried to drop his hand, but he only tightened his grip, so she dropped her gaze instead. That was when he backed off because, poor thing, her entire body was shaking.

Cody curled a finger under her chin and lifted. “Honey, are you really afraid?”

“A little,” she admitted, worrying her lower lip.

He trapped her hand, moist and trembling, against his chest and whispered, “Of me or the horse?”

After a long silence, she finally whispered back, “Both, I guess.”

Aw, shit. That was not what he wanted to hear, but he let it sink in anyway. He did not want Shelby afraid of him, and that she was, well, it wasn’t something he was proud of. Gently, he linked their fingers and brought her hand up to kiss each tip. “Then, how would you like to meet Daisy?”

“Daisy?”

“Yes, ma’am, as in ‘Driving Miss,’” Cody said, leading her around Goliath and toward a gentle tan-and-white paint.

Shelby released a long sigh, and her hand relaxed a bit, which was fine by him since she was squeezing the life out of it a second ago.

“Meet Daisy.” Situating himself behind her, Cody wrapped one hand supportively around her waist, the other intertwined between her fingers, as he ran her hand over the horse’s nose. After a few patient strokes, Daisy finally warmed up to her new mistress, nickering and nuzzling her hand. “She is as gentle as a doe and quite the lady.”

“Her whiskers tickle,” Shelby laughed, leaning back into Cody and more bravely stroking the horse. “Was she yours?”

“No.” Cody shook his head, memories making his voice raw. “My mom got her the birthday before she was diagnosed. Dad said the minute he saw her galloping in the corral he knew my mom had to have her. A lady for a lady, he said.”

Cody’s hand stilled on top of Shelby’s as an image pulled free from somewhere in his mind and froze there for him to absorb. The way his dad used to look at his mom was now branded in his mind. It wasn’t a look of hate, or anger, or even drunkenness. It was one of pure, all-encompassing love, the kind of love freely given.

He had forgotten that about his dad—the way he had been different before his mom died. The way they had been a family in the truest sense of the word.

Shelby rested a hand on his cheek, pulling him out of his head. “He loved you, you know. No matter how horrible he was to you and your brothers, he always loved you. I think he just lost himself when Evie died.”

Cody nodded, the only response he could give. Daisy nudged Shelby, and she would have toppled over if Cody hadn’t been holding her. She turned her head and looked up at him, a smile of joy spreading across her face and Cody felt a sharp kick in the gut.

One look at the awestruck pleasure she took in something as small as a horse nibbling her hand, the gentle way she stroked Daisy, always approaching things so openly, so honestly, holding nothing back, and Cody’s whole world tilted.

The man who had spent most of his life running, always looking for the next boardroom to conqueror, the next fight to win, found himself wanting to stay, right here, right now, with this woman. He loved the way she laughed, the way she cared, the way she’d raised their son, the way she made him want to be a better man. Being around her was like touching the wind on a warm spring day.

What the hell? Did I just think she’s like touching the wind on a warm spring day?

“How can you call yourself a Texan and never have ridden before?” Cody joked, hoping she wouldn’t notice that his hands were shaking. How the hell was he going to keep his distance?

“Well, not all of us grew up on a ranch with a herd of horses to choose from,” she said with a forced smile, moving away from him. And Cody felt like a jerk.

He’d forgotten how Shelby had grown up. Being shuffled back and forth between three households—none that had really wanted her—she’d been lucky if she got to finish out the school year in the same town.

When they’d met, Shelby had been pretty much a loner, struggling to put herself through nursing school while taking care of her grandpa. Even though she’d had every reason in the world to be cynical and closed off like he was, she hadn’t been.

“We gonna go riding or what?” JT hollered from across the corral, obviously bored with making ovals.

“Hold your horses,” Shelby said with a self-aware laugh. She grabbed hold of the horn, and tried to pull herself up. Unfortunately her legs, toned and sexy as they were, had a hard time reaching the stirrup.

“Up you go.” Cody secured his hands around her waist and hoisted her onto Daisy’s back. Not that he needed to do much hoisting, since he’d bet Shelby didn’t weigh much more than JT.

A little squeak sounded as she plopped down on the saddle. Cody rested his palm on her thigh, steadying her, and handed her the reins before launching into a little demo on horse safety. When, at the end of his lesson, she still didn’t look so sure about the day, he said, “The offer to ride with me still stands. No ulterior motives. Promise.”

Her spine straightened, and her chin notched up in that stubborn way of hers that he loved. “Not on your life, Tucker. Now, are you going to make cow eyes at me all day or are we going to ride?”

“You’re going to ride,” Cody laughed and swung gracefully up onto Goliath. “While I get to watch that ass of yours trot in front of me, uninterrupted, for the next few hours.” Cody leaned over and kissed her shocked lips. “And that, ma’am,
is
a good morning.”

Shelby sat on a blanket that had been crafted by Cody’s mom, and picked at the leftovers while watching him and Jake walk down toward the river, poles and tackle in hand. She’d waved off the invite, seeing this as a chance for the two guys to connect, figure out how to be a family without the weight of the past invading their time.

Seeing the confident swagger creep into her son’s walk as Cody reached up, removed his Stetson, and settled it on Jake’s head, made her heart catch. She knew hanging back and feigning a food coma was the right choice. Today was about her son and his need for a father. The rest would have to wait.

Cody squatted down low to Jake’s eye level and helped him get his pole baited and cast. Jake beamed under his dad’s direction, as if all the tension between the two had vanished. With a quick flick of the wrist, Cody cast his line, and stuck his pole in the ground. Leaning down, he said something to Jake. Jake nodded, reeled in his line, and, with his tongue peeking out the side of his mouth in concentration, recast, plopping his baited hook next door to Cody’s.

Jake’s little hand rose, delivered a high-five, then flashed Shelby a smile so full of happiness it brought tears to her eyes. He pointed to his line and waved. Shelby clapped her hands and waved back, hoping her tears weren’t visible over the distance.

A few seconds later, Cody must have finished with his lesson because Jake gave an officer’s salute and plopped himself on the shoreline, watching their poles with the determination of a man guarding his castle. Cody tapped the rim of his hat, still resting on Jake’s head, before making his way up the hill and . . .
oh, boy
. . . heading straight for her.

Sitting up, Shelby swiped at her cheeks, righted her clothes and begged her voice not to expose her emotion.

The tips of his boots stopped just shy of the blanket, and he hooked his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. “Why are you up here by yourself? Don’t tell me you’re afraid of fish, too?”

“No, I’m an excellent fisherman. I never landed an eighteen-pounder, but I hold my own,” she scolded, tilting her head back, and shielding her eyes with her hand. He just smiled so she dropped it, not wanting to ruin what had turned out to be a great day. “Actually, I was just giving you and Jake some guy time.”

“Guy time, huh?” Okay, it was a lame excuse and he was calling her on it. He crouched down.

“You know—a chance to get to know each other,” Shelby went on, staring at his chest; her words suddenly seemed silly and her reason for keeping her distance lame.

Cody curled a lock of her hair around his finger and tilted his head down, looking through his eyebrows to meet her gaze. The moment was completely and utterly perfect. So perfect that it made her want to cry all over again.

“Honey, there’ll be lots of time for just me and JT. Today is about the three of us.” Cody leaned in until they were breathing the same air, and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. The gesture wasn’t intended to be seducing, but reassuring.

“But, last night,” Shelby started and stopped.

“I meant what I said last night.”

“I know. And I want what’s best for Jake.” Eyes locked on his, arms crossed, Shelby was determined to show him just how serious she was on this matter. “But I don’t take well to ultimatums. And I won’t be scared into a corner.”

Cody flinched at her last statement, but she went on, her stubbornness making her Texas twang thicken like molasses. “I refuse to be dictated to, controlled. I lived through that once and I refuse to live through it again. So if you think that marrying me means you get to demand things, make all the decisions and run my life—”

“I don’t want to run your life. All I want is to make this work.” Cody drew in a breath, his hands sliding around her waist, nudging her closer. “I want the chance to be a good father, to raise JT with you, try to make us a family.”

“I know but . . .” Shelby wasn’t sure what to say. She felt torn. Even though she knew
why
he’d left, it was still scary to think of putting herself out there like that, loving so much, only to have her love not be enough. She also knew what it felt like to give up everything and wind up with nothing. She dropped her gaze to their hands as he gave a gentle squeeze.

“But?” Cody pressed, his voice thin and unsure.

Peering up through her lashes, she felt as if her chest was expanding. She saw a rare trace of vulnerability in his usually strong features. Cody was scared. Just as scared as she was. If they stood even the slimmest chance of making this work, creating a family for Jake, someone had to start telling the truth.

This was it
. If Cody was going to run back to Austin, nothing she said or did would persuade him otherwise. She might as well put it out there, be that assertive woman she’d worked so hard to become, and go after what she’d wanted all these years.

“But you, Cody Tucker,” Shelby whispered, framing his face and rising up on her knees, “have no idea how many years I’ve waited to hear you say that.”

Working on instinct, she touched her mouth to his in gentle question. Asking without words where they stood, where they went from here. She felt his soft lips hesitate, tighten. Deciding to push, to put it all out there, she softly cradled his upper lip between both of her own, gently tugging and eventually parting his lips, exploring him with the tip of her tongue.

A freeing empowerment slid through her when Cody responded, dropping to his knees and kissing her harder. And then she was on her back, splayed on the quilt, their lips never separating, his hard-on pressing into the softness between her legs.

She hadn’t been thinking about sex when she first kissed him. In fact, it was quite the opposite, which was what probably had him hesitating. She’d wanted to show him how she felt, that she cared for him. But now, good God, she wanted him. She wanted him just like this. Demanding and possessive but with a transparency that allowed the boy from her past and the man in front of her to blend, become one.

Then he pulled back. And she heard a bird chirp. Felt a rock digging into her hip bone. And she remembered where they were. “Oh God, did Jake see?”

“Nope, he was fishing,” Cody said, rolling off of her and straightening, bringing her with him. “But looks like he caught something.” Cody looked over her head, his face open and expressive.

She turned to see what he was looking at and saw Jake bounding up the hill, a fish dangling in one hand. How did Cody do that? When he kissed her, she couldn’t even remember her name. For all she knew, he was balancing his checkbook while they kissed or solving world hunger.

“Cody. Cody,” Jake called, his smile as wide as Montana. He was happy, flying high, and far from the solemn kid who had been moping around the house since Silas passed. Now, watching Cody muss Jake’s hair while he listened intently to the heroic tale of how he battled the too-small-to-keep crappie, Shelby felt her heart expand to full capacity. So if Cody’s ability to multitask while kissing her meant making her son feel like
that
, then it took away the sting. Well, some of it.

Maybe, Shelby thought, with a sort of optimistic giddiness as Cody picked Jake up like a sack of flour and ran him down the side of the creek bank, this just might work.

Shelby, sore in places she hadn’t known existed until today, and feeling about as desirable as a dust-covered cowpuncher pushing ninety, bowlegged from a recent hip transplant, and smelling of horse and dung, waddled up to the porch. Coughing up dust, her legs a trembling mess, she came to a halt and, with some help from the handrail, managed not to crumple to the ground.