Tucker's Crossing (21 page)

“I won’t leave you alone, and I promise you and JT will be safe. All you need to do is holler out or call. My cell is always on me now.
Always.
No matter what you want to talk about, I’ll answer.”

“I know,” Shelby said with conviction, taking his hand and tugging him closer. He was making a commitment, not the one that she wanted to hear, but it was a decent start. “I just want to hold you until your urge to pack up and move on quiets.”

“You don’t know what you’re asking, Shelby Lynn.”

“I’m not asking for anything, Cody. I’m offering.”

“I wish it were that simple,” Cody sighed, and even before he clicked off the light, his voice told Shelby that he’d already caved. He needed this as much as she did. “I just don’t want to mess this up.”

Chills covered Shelby’s skin as he jerked the sheets to the bottom of the bed, where he stood for a long moment and looked at her before crawling up her body to encase her in his arms. He latched on, pressing all six-feet-plus of hard muscle against her soft frame. Fisting his hands into her nightgown, his body raked down hers, the rough denim sliding between her exposed legs, until Cody buried his face in her stomach. He shifted the fabric up, gently kissing her bare belly, and resting his head there again.

Shelby wrapped her legs around him and held on as his body shook off the excess adrenaline. Running her fingertips along his back in a soothing pattern, she felt his muscles relax, turn to a raw emotion that was different from before. And she found herself wondering again about what had happened in this house? To this family?

She had a decade’s worth of words and questions, but Cody wasn’t ready. Shelby knew that. He was still full of secrets but at least he’d stopped running long enough to let her be a part of this moment. So she just held on and waited.

She’d been so naive—so stupid to believe Preston, and so absolutely selfish to have blamed Cody all these years. When he’d run out that night—looking haunted and covered in blood for God’s sake—she’d never seen him look so scared. And she’d let him go. His world was falling apart and she’d let her insecurity keep her from reaching out, from being his safe place to land.

The last muscle in Cody’s body had finally relaxed. When his weight gave in, deliciously splaying across her lower body, Shelby gently ventured, “Want to talk about it?”

Cody shifted to his elbows, his head never coming off her belly as he scooted her down the bed, her gown bunching between the hard planes of his body and the sheets as she went, until her head was no longer on the headboard but the pillow, and his was firmly nestled between her breasts. How many nights had they lain in each other’s arms, just like this?

“No,” he mumbled into her breasts, his breath making the fabric all but disappear.

Instinctively, Shelby kneaded the fingers of one hand up the back of Cody’s neck and into his hair, working away at the knotted tension. She listened to the wind slide against the windows, the house contract and buckle as the heat from the day finally made its escape, and the whirl of the fan fighting through the thick air. She heard everything but what she most desperately wanted: the truth.

When his chest expanded, taking in oxygen, Shelby sensed, more than felt, his mouth open to release the secrets she was sure he’d never voiced to another human before.

“When I left the ranch, Noah was bigger than Dad. Hell, he was bigger than me,” Cody began, all of the earlier rage and anger stripped away, leaving him sounding tired. Not just tired, but the kind of tired you get when you’ve been running your whole life.

“And Noah only left when Beau was big enough. We didn’t think there would be any trouble. But I guess size didn’t matter ’cuz Beau isn’t a fighter, never even put up a defensive hand. That night I came home, to you, covered in blood . . .”

Silence fell hard. Shelby noticed he never once used the word “home” with regard to Tucker’s Crossing, but he had used it with her. A small bead of hope settled in her stomach.

“Got a call from some local girl. Said Beau was pretty tore up and needed me. I found him here, in Mom’s room, lying over by the vanity, barely breathing. It was like he was a kid again, trying to hide.”

And knowing Silas wouldn’t dare set foot in his Evie’s room, Shelby silently added.

“Bastard had cracked a couple of his ribs and . . .” Cody trailed off and Shelby felt him swallow. “I mean, the old man liked his whiskey and was a mean son of a bitch after my mom died, but he’d never done more than terrorize us and knock us around a little.”

Shelby wanted to scream with fury, tell Cody that what had happened to him and his brothers was wrong. That Silas was wrong. But what really broke Shelby’s heart was the firsthand knowledge of just how protective Cody was of his loved ones, and how seriously he took responsibility for others. It must have ripped him apart to feel that he’d failed his brother.

“God, Shelby Lynn. Beau’s face . . . I didn’t even recognize him.”

Unable to hold back any longer, Shelby wrapped her arms around Cody’s middle and squeezed tight, as if the simple act would release all of his guilt and anger. “Oh, Cody. I’m so sorry.”

At her words, his resistance seemed to shatter and he melted into her. Shelby wanted to cry. Her big, strong, distant Cody curled into her like Jake after a nightmare. So she tightened her grip and held on.

“I took Beau with me to Austin and none of us ever came back. I was with him at the hospital and a nurse told me to go get cleaned up. So I went home, to you.” Cody clung tighter, as if expecting her to pull away at his words. To judge him.

“Cody.”

He finally lifted his head at the sound of his name. Those amber pools bored into her, holding her captive as a live wire arched from one to the other, back and forth, sharing pain and regret, even comfort—connecting them. The air between them shifted, became charged with heat.

“Damn you, woman.” Cody’s voice came out raspy and rough.

Shelby couldn’t help but smile. She remembered the thorough kissing she got last time he grumbled those very words and they sent a luxurious pulse between her thighs.

He lowered his head closer and after what seemed like an eternity, their mouths meshed. And good Lord, thorough didn’t even begin to describe it. The kiss was heated and electric, hungry and possessive, and so gentle it was Shelby’s undoing.

This was too much too soon, because she knew,
knew
, that right now he was vulnerable, and she was taking advantage of that. She should stop this before it went too far, before he realized what was happening, what it meant, and slammed all of his walls in place. Or she should tell him that this was right, that he wasn’t screwing this up, and that this was how they were meant to be.

Instead she shifted her hands aside, letting their bodies slide against each other, remembering, reacquainting. The taste and tease of his lips, his heated breath mixing with hers as they both struggled for oxygen. Time went spinning backward, until it slowed to a standstill. And his fragile control suddenly shifted too.

Shelby moaned his name long and pleadingly as Cody nipped and licked his way down the column of her throat to the hollow of her neck and finally—
oh yeah
, his mouth closed over her nipple, pulling hard through the thin cotton. She felt the pull everywhere, especially between her thighs.

“Still your sweet spot.” Cody smiled and lowered the wet fabric, taking her bare breast in his mouth and gently sucking in a way that was quite possibly the closest thing to perfection she’d ever experienced.

You’re my sweet spot, cowboy.

Slowly, making sure he felt every inch, Shelby raked her fingers down his chest, reaching beneath the denim to pop the button and sliding inside to press her palm flat against his sweet spot. It was hot and pulsing and she didn’t hesitate to let her fingers curl around and gently squeeze.

“Oh God, baby, not yet,” Cody groaned and his movements changed. She felt it. Taking her hand, he shackled it above her head while he paid equal attention to her other breast, missing nothing in between.

She wanted to touch him again, make him feel everything that she was feeling, but he held tight, his thigh coming up to press against her heat. She felt her body lengthen, her back arch, instinctively allowing him complete access. His attention to detail was flawless, the way he exquisitely worked her body. She wanted him to let go, lose control and fly with her. Because once again, he was making this about her. Only her.

She felt out of control, soaring alone toward something that she knew would be the end. Sex had never been the problem between them. Actually, sex with him was damn near perfect. But she just needed . . . more. And this time she wasn’t willing to settle.

Everything else aside, it had been Cody’s fear of letting go, his inability to give wholly of himself that had eventually destroyed them. And she didn’t want to go through that again. Couldn’t.

Yes, they had made progress. She just wasn’t sure it was enough to hold when the sun came up, and that was why she had to stop this. But with Cody, she felt so alive that all of their issues seemed to fade, because the last time she’d come this close to making love was, well, she couldn’t remember.

And that was when Shelby understood just how incredibly serious this problem had become.

“Cody. We need to slow down.”

Cody heard Shelby’s voice in the distance, almost as if disconnected from this time and place. And he couldn’t, for the life of him, understand why she’d want to do that. She was almost there, and even though he still had his pants on, so was he.

“Cody, stop.”

He stopped. The words settled with a slam to the gut that was heard loud and clear.

“It’s just that one minute you’re mad at me, the next you’re kissing me, then we argue and we never argued before. And just when I think we’re finally starting to become friends again, you somehow wind up pointing a gun at me for no reason.”

She was nervous, and babbling and so tempting. Her breasts spilled over the top of her nightgown, and her lips were too damn irresistible and too damn close. “I told you we couldn’t be friends. Friends don’t do this.” And then he was kissing her again.

Shelby pulled back. “This is all happening so fast.”

“Fast?” Cody had to laugh. According to the bulge in his pants, foreplay started about ten years ago.

“What happened to no sex?”

“You. You happened.” Those full lips. Serious, blue eyes. Messy hair. It was all working against him. “Ten years of you in my head.” But he’d promised himself he would do this right. He wouldn’t risk screwing this up. They needed to talk things out before they ended up making love. Not only for their sake, but for JT’s.

“All right, we slow down. Which means no sex, so quit trying to seduce me,” he said, adjusting her nightgown and damn near crying when he covered up one lush breast, then—he looked up at her. “You sure?”

Shelby nodded solemnly.

“Hell, honey, talk about torture.” He took one last, long, appreciative look at the most beautiful breast he’d ever seen. Her nipple was still jutting out, begging for him to take another taste. Sadly, he brought the fabric up to cover it. It was a travesty. In fact, he was pretty certain he would never be able to do that again. And if he didn’t get off her now, he’d wind up pulling her whole gown up—and over her head.

With a chaste kiss to her forehead, Cody pushed up and slid out of bed.

She clutched the sheets to her chest, looking sexy and bewildered and so damn adorable. “Where are you going?”

He laughed. “This,” he gestured to her body draped across the mattress, “is enough to make a man crazy, and I don’t want to rush you. But if I stay here I can’t be sure it will be my good intentions that win out.”

Straightening, Cody placed the gun back in his waistband, his eyes never leaving hers. He shifted his weight, knowing he should leave while he still could, but he made the mistake of taking one last, sweeping gaze that cemented the exact way she looked right then, bed-tossed, flushed, and as horny as he was.

“I thought you were leaving. Good intentions and all,” she challenged.

“I am.”
Just go
, he told himself. But he kept standing there, watching the sheet slip well past the swell of those amazing breasts.

No matter how hard Shelby fought, her body couldn’t help but flush under Cody’s heated gaze. Pulling the sheet tighter, she backed up a little, needing to get her thoughts together. Because right now, she wanted nothing more than to drag him back to bed and trace her lips over his bare chest.
God, stop staring at the man’s chest.

“Shelby, honey,” Cody drawled. “You keep looking at me like that . . . well, I already told you what’d happen.”

Tack room, right.
Shelby jerked her eyes to meet his, felt them bulge a little and had the good sense to feign innocence. Cody gave a soft hoot of laughter, seeing right through her wide-eyed act.

Easing down and bringing his massive frame to her eye level, Cody snaked an arm around her waist, hauling her flush with his chest. An involuntary groan slipped out when her aching breasts pressed firm against his bare skin.

“That’s what I thought,” Cody laughed. “So tomorrow we go on a ride. The three of us. Maybe a picnic, a little fishing, and a lot of talking. And even more kissing.” He leaned forward and sucked her lower lip into his mouth, then straightened. “See, already got sidetracked.”

Shelby’s brows lowered, but not quite far enough to come off as reprimanding as she’d hoped. “I’d like that.”

“The riding or the kissing?” Cody smiled that smile that made her stomach skitter like a nervous teenager’s. And she saw, for the first time since Cody had come back, a glimpse of the fun-loving boy she’d fallen in love with.

Now it was Shelby’s turn to smile. “Everything.”

“Shelby Lynn.” Cody’s voice was as somber as his face and she knew exactly what he wanted to talk about. Her embarrassing
proposition
. Great “Look, about the contract,” she began, hot with humiliation, and wishing she could burn the papers and pretend they had never existed. Wishing for a whole lot of things that wouldn’t fix the current situation.