Touch of Love (11 page)

Adam recovered
from his stupor first. He stirred under her body, one long arm coming to fold behind his head, the second still securely wrapped around her shoulders. She lifted her head just enough to look into his face and was miffed to see that he was watching her, as well, a little smile playing around his mouth.

‘
Am I forgiven for keeping secrets?’ The six simple words were perfectly justified. After all, that was exactly what had brought them together in the first place. He certainly hadn’t forgotten.

‘I had no right to lash out at you like that
.’ She shrugged, appalled as she recalled her earlier behavior. He hadn’t really done anything to make her act so angrily. Jake was his stepbrother, and if he protected his privacy, so be it. Especially since she was not much more than a stranger, anyway. Why should he share stuff with her that even the family was kept in the dark about?

‘I am kind of glad you did
.’ He was still smiling, and his eyes were warm, which was dangerous, all things considered. She didn’t want him to be like that. What had just happened didn’t change anything. The sooner she made that clear, the better.

Better for
who?
a little voice in her head whispered, refusing to be silenced.
And how do you plan on getting back to what it was in the first place?
She had to try, nevertheless, if only to survive the rest of the weekend. They were both adults, right?

‘
Look, Adam…’ she started hesitantly, realizing how difficult it would be to talk about it while they were lying together, still naked. She could feel his heartbeat, still racing just as much as hers was. She needed to get dressed.

‘I need to find my clothes,’ she
said, desperately aware of how silly she sounded. Still, he let her go, his arm tightening around her for a millisecond before he changed his mind. She found her robe and nightgown on the floor. They weren’t the best of armors, so she decided to forgo putting on her nightie and opted for slipping into the robe. The sense of déjà vu made her wince. Another confrontation came to mind—her fight with Brad was still fresh in her mind. She waited for the familiar wave of resentment against her ex-fiancé to rise. But it didn’t happen.

She turned to
Adam, who was still lying completely naked on the bed. She looked everywhere but at his face as she searched for an opening. He certainly wasn’t making it any easier. Instead of saying anything at all, he propped himself on one elbow and watched her with observant eyes. She almost wished he’d switched off the damn lamp that cast shadows on the walls and added a warm glow to his skin.
As if he needed any further enhancement,
she thought bitterly.

‘
This was a total insanity,’ she started again, hoping for some kind of support—in vain, it seemed, as he remained lying, his eyes narrowing just marginally as she kept going. ‘We were both upset and said things we didn’t mean. Plus, we’re both trying to get over a breakup, which didn’t help. I mean… otherwise, we’d never end like that…’ She let her hand trail in a sweeping circle, dying off, as he didn’t answer.

What
’s wrong with him?
She felt her anger rise again as the impossibility of the situation hit her full force. It would be only polite if he as much as acknowledged her words, let alone agreed. But he watched her with a veiled expression, as if he disapproved of the direction she was taking. Maybe it was his job to let his lovers dangle after they made love, not the other way around.

‘
Not my choice of words.’ Finally, he sat up, shaking his head. She watched his abs flex as he moved, and the memories of the taste and feel of his skin did amazing things to her equilibrium.

‘
Calling it insanity, I mean.’ He got up, ignoring his nudity as he came to stand in front of her. It took all she had to not step back, the proximity of his heated skin dangerous beyond measure. ‘I didn’t plan for any of this to happen, Elly. But I’d be damned if I drag what happened into the gutter. We made love, and it was amazing. And no, you weren’t just a convenient body replacing my finicky ex-fiancée, if that’s what you’re implying.’

So what else
am I?
She bit her tongue until she tasted blood.

‘I admit that we tackled the whole thing from the wrong end
.’ Adam ran his hand through his dark hair, betraying some of his agitation. It made her feel a bit better because the thought of him being so completely unfazed and in control drove her mad.

‘
You have to admit that we get along pretty well.’ She stared at him, making a conscious effort to keep her mouth shut. She didn’t need to wait long to find out where he was going with the statement, and the audacity of his next words took her breath away.

‘I think we could make a poster couple for friends with benefits,
Elly. Don’t you think?’

With
that, he reached out to pick up his pants, not bothering with his underwear. She watched him pull them up, the dark fabric gliding up his muscular thighs. The tantalizing glimpse of dark hair that disappeared as he buttoned them up made her heart beat faster, and she looked away, embarrassed by the fluttering sensation in the pit of her stomach.

‘
So I think that we could consider the idea. It would be a pity to let our compatibility go to waste. Especially since both of us seem to be put off by the traditional relationship for a moment, anyway.’

He
’s in for a disappointment
. She clenched her teeth to stop herself from telling him exactly what she thought. But she lost the battle with her fiery temperament. As always, around Adam, nothing but truth could do. In this case, it wasn’t the best thing for him. Some things couldn’t be helped…

‘
Let me be clear, Adam.’ She had to bring the message home before she allowed the unfamiliar mushiness and regret to take over, making it impossible to form a concise thought. ‘I’m not looking for a sex relationship at all. Believe it or not, some of us can be celibate for a while without mapping out a rescue strategy for their libido.’

He smiled, making her furious.
Does he think I’m joking?

‘I admit that I lost my head right here
, and we… we did what we did,’ she faltered, unable to dwell upon what had happened. ‘I don’t blame you, and I don’t regret it, either. It was a lot of fun. But from now on, it’s over. I’ll stay here for another day because of Jake and then disappear, for good. You don’t need to start planning for us to have some cheesy Hollywood-inspired fling.’

‘
Not my choice of words again, Ells.’

D
id he just call me ‘Ells’?
She blinked, her focus momentarily distracted. Nobody had ever called her that.

‘I really think
we’re great together, and there’s no reason to try to make it dirtier than it is.’ Adam shrugged one powerful, still-naked shoulder, his muscles flexing under the tanned skin. ‘Just thought we could appreciate it while it lasts, since we’re both single now. Somehow or other, fate seems to keep on bringing us together. Maybe it’s a sign we shouldn’t wait for the third opportunity and take this one instead?’

‘Just like that?’

He nodded.

‘
Should I tell Jake that I can’t be his date for the party because I shagged his brother and am planning on doing so until we get bored? How do you think this would work?’

‘
Probably surprisingly better than you’d think.’ He grinned again, taking the wind out of her sails. ‘But I agree it’s not the best idea. How about you think about it over the weekend, then let me know? I don’t know why, but I’d really hate us to pass each other like two ships in the night.’

Wow, how romantic.
She wanted to say something sarcastic, if only to let him know she didn’t buy any of his fake interest. He couldn’t really mean it. If he did, he certainly wouldn’t talk about it so openly as if they were discussing yesterday’s weather forecast.

Their eyes met
, and suddenly, she couldn’t fight any longer. Her brain froze. None of the stinging replies were willing to spill past her lips. In the one split second that she managed to hold his gaze before panicking and looking away, she realized the real reason she didn’t want what he was offering.

It
would be a pact with the devil, nothing more and nothing less. Offering her a glimpse of paradise, Adam never promised more than a fleeting moment of pleasure. If she were to agree, she would have to be able to live with the fact that once they were done, they would part ways, disappearing from each other’s lives for good.

And she wasn’t sure if she could live with that.

The party started at eleven in the morning
to accommodate all the day’s activities.
Being famous and rich certainly has its perks,
Elly thought as she looked around, still dazed by the number of faces she recognized from the silver screen and gossip magazines. Anyone who was anyone seemed to be there, including a large gathering of journalists eager to document the arriving guests’ every move.

She stayed close to Jake, glad for the company and the arm he offered. In his pale
-blue shirt and charcoal pants, with his brown hair artistically disheveled and blue eyes sparkling with good-natured humor, he epitomized the perfect look that attracted tons of interest from the photographers. As they snapped photos, only Jake’s hold on her waist prevented her from dashing off, away from their nosy curiosity. They even asked her a few questions, most of which she ignored, offering little more than a smile. In her simple green dress and high-heeled sandals, she was definitely not in the same league as most of the women arriving to the party. With her bare-minimum makeup and simple hairdo, she could only watch their sophisticated glamour, aware of the divide that she could never bridge. Not that Jake minded, of course. In a brilliant mood that had something to do with David hanging around, he didn’t lose his patience with requests for photos and autographs, and his jokes managed to charm a smile onto her face more than once.

She appreciated his efforts to make
the evening easy on her.
Quite the opposite of Adam,
she thought sarcastically, her eyes doing a discreet sweep of the sunny garden. He was absent, still somewhere in the bowels of the huge house. She overheard Jake and David mentioning some kind of last-moment conference call they needed to attend.

‘
Business before pleasure,’ Jake said, while she tried to look inconspicuous.

She recalled
how they had parted only hours before, his offer to become her friend with benefits still smarting like a fresh burn. She’d left with her head held high and the sinking feeling that she might have just made the biggest mistake of her life. As earth shattering and exhilarating as it had been, their lovemaking had certainly changed the way he would see her.
He’s a ladies’ man,
she thought stormily, her lips stretched into yet another obedient smile for a picture with Jake. God knew Adam was handsome enough to turn any head, and his charismatic personality was sure to gain him extra points that he didn’t really need.

‘He’ll be down shortly
.’ Jake’s breath tickled her ear as he leaned closer, and the scent of his aftershave was subtle, yet sensuous.

‘
Who?’ She would’ve rather died than admitted she knew who he meant.

‘
Smile, Elly.’ He grinned down at her. ‘Who do you think I mean? My stepbrother, of course. You’ve been glancing around for a while now, and if I wasn’t already taken, I’d get a bit jealous…’

‘
Why would I do that?’
If cornered, lie. Not the best of principles, but it might work.

It didn’t.

‘Oh, I don’t know…’ Jake shook his head in playful reproach that she was sure everyone around them mistook for romantic banter. ‘Maybe because you and he became… good friends? Like, I mean… really good friends.’ She wanted to pull away, but he held her close, keeping his voice gentle. ‘I don’t mean to make fun of it, either. It’s none of my business, and I promise not to butt in. Just don’t act like you have no clue, sweetheart. The moment I saw you come downstairs this morning, I knew your evening didn’t end in the kitchen, the way you were glowing.’ He paused and looked at her intently. His next words were quiet enough to be heard by only her. ‘You still are, by the way.’

It
isn’t true,
she wanted to yell. She wasn’t the glowing type. And she spent a good extra ten minutes covering up the mauve shadows under her eyes, erasing the telltale signs of lack of sleep.

‘I’ll risk sounding like my mother, but I need to tell you that he
’s a great guy. He’s been through a lot, and you might think him tough and all, but deep down, he isn’t.’ To her surprise, Jake kept praising his stepbrother as if she were applying for the position of Mrs. Adam Scott. She wanted to enlighten him as soon as possible, maybe not with all the details of what exactly his precious, sensitive stepbrother had proposed for them to do, but enough to silence his sales pitch.

She never got the chance.
The photographers shifted their attention to the half-open french door that led to the party-decorated gardens. Her eyes followed them instinctively, and her brain turned to mush. She heard them shout something and laugh, the false familiarity grating along her nerves like a rusty knife.

Adam stood there, his tall
, dark silhouette in stark contrast with the frame of the massive door. With anyone else she would’ve suspected the entry being deliberate. His swarthy good looks were complemented by the expanse of glass and white wood. In his dark pants and crisp white shirt livened by a ruby-red waistcoat, he could have easily modeled for any of the top fashion houses. She could almost imagine the spread in the gossip magazine and the women drooling over his aloof expression and veiled gaze that kept secrets known to him and him alone.

Still,
Elly knew him well enough to know that he hadn’t planned to provide the paparazzi with the opportunity to show off his looks to the world. If anything, it annoyed him, however polite and unnervingly smiling he remained. He descended the steps with unmistakable resolve to join Jake, David, and her.

A
bubble of hysteria rose in her throat, making her head swim. She didn’t know how to behave after a one-night stand or if there was even such a thing as etiquette for such an emergency. For once in her life, she almost wished she was more like Jess, whose experience with men left Elly in the dust. Jess would know exactly what to say and how to act, while Elly could only feel her palms starting to sweat uncontrollably.

Adam joined them, his smile and tone absolutely innocent. He was even more gorgeous from close up, she thought miserably, allowing herself a cautious look at hi
m as he spoke with Jake. His raven hair and equally dark eyes only added to the exotic appeal of his handsome face with its straight nose and high cheekbones. It was the same face she’d kissed only hours ago. Her lips still remembered the firmness of his sensuous mouth. For one insane second, she wondered what Adam would do if she followed her impulse and kissed him in front of everyone. Her own lips tingled in anticipation, remembering his sweet breath washing over her face, almost seducing her again. Would he push her away or turn it into a joke, conscious of the countless pairs of eyes watching them?

‘How do you like it so far?’
His polite question startled her from her daydreaming.

She felt her cheeks warm even though there was no way he could know what she was thinking about.
‘Lots of people.’ She found it easier to talk to him while glancing around. ‘Hard to imagine those are all your dad’s friends.’

‘
Hardly,’ he laughed, and Jake joined in. ‘The party’s more of a business opportunity, really. Still, Dad had a pretty good run over the last thirty years, and he does know a lot of people.’ Somehow, without her noticing, she’d been separated from Jake and David by Adam’s tall frame.

‘There
’s a show in about half an hour.’ He bent toward her, and the sense of intimacy made her feel like an awkward teenager on a first date. She needed to get a grip. After all, she was an adult who was perfectly capable of handling a handsome guy she’d happened to have enjoyed mind-blowing sex with.

‘
It’s a short play written by one of my father’s friends,’ he was explaining, and she nodded, hell-bent on getting things under control. If he really wanted to make small talk, she certainly wouldn’t stop him. ‘It’s one of my family’s traditions. Some of the younger, less exposed actors get a chance to shine in front of the audience and maybe catch the eye of an agent.’

‘
Very thoughtful,’ she agreed. ‘Makes you think of the olden days when there were traveling troupes performing at the garden parties. Wasn’t Ben Jonson, Shakespeare’s friend and rival, doing exactly that?’

‘
So did good old Will.’ He grinned. ‘How about I show you the stage before it starts? It took two days to set it up, so if you happen to run into my father, don’t forget to be impressed.’

She couldn’t say no
, but she was just being polite, nothing more. Jake seemed engrossed in a conversation with David and an older gentleman she vaguely recognized as a film critic. The photo time was safely over, at least for a while.

They walked down the path, decorated with
paper lanterns that would be lit in the evening. The delicate rice-paper globes in magenta, orange, and cobalt made her think of scattered jewels.
It had better not rain,
a pragmatic part of her brain whispered, her eyes going to the sky. Not a cloud in sight, the deep-blue color was surreal in its intensity.

Adam must have read her mind.
‘Even the weather doesn’t want to cross my dad. Don’t worry.’ He flashed her a smile that was impossible to resist. ‘I can’t recall a time it did ruin his day, ever.’

‘
That sounds nice, having everyone obey your wishes.’
God, but I sound bitter.
‘I wish life was like that for the rest of us mortals.’

‘I don’t get all my wishes
.’ Adam glanced at her sideways, his surprisingly long eyelashes hiding the true expression of his onyx eyes. ‘To think of it, it seems that recently I’m a steady name on Santa’s bad list.’

He
was talking about his failed engagement. What had she expected him to be thinking about? Her refusal to sleep with him on a regular basis? A man like him didn’t need to lose sleep over a girl rejecting his sex arrangements. There would always be plenty of others who were only too willing to go along with whatever he planned.

So why
am I so disappointed?

Once again,
she had no time to think about it. Adam’s ability to maneuver them around the small clusters of chatting guests was admirable. He kept the short exchanges and noncommittal niceties to bare minimum. She could tell that plenty of people wouldn’t mind keeping him a bit longer; the curiosity in their eyes and voices was unmistakable. One woman even had the guts to mention his engagement. Elly wanted to scratch the woman’s carefully painted face. She stole a quick glance at Adam’s face, not quite sure what she would find there. To her surprise, he smiled at her, his face a perfect mask of serenity.

‘
It’s my first official outing since the church disaster.’ His voice was smooth and cool, like water washing over pebbles, and it betrayed nothing of what she was sure he was really thinking. ‘I moped in seclusion, you might say. Don’t forget, most of the people here were looking forward to the wedding almost as much as I was.’ Incredibly, he laughed, and she racked her brain for a suitable response.

She opted for honesty, as usual.
‘I know how you feel. I can’t even imagine the talk about my failed romance. I feel horrible to have asked my mom to help with sending back the gifts, but I figured that this way, she would understand better that it’s really happening. Otherwise, she’d move heaven and earth to try to bring us back together.’

‘
And you’re absolutely sure you don’t want that?’ His question surprised her, and she caught his gaze, curiously serious and searching.

‘
No. I’m pretty certain of that.’ The words rolled off her tongue easily, even before she thought about her answer. ‘Sometimes things are broken beyond repair.’

He nodded, his dark eyes pensive. She could tell that something was bothering him
by the way his eyebrows knitted together into a straight line and the fine lines around his mouth etched deeper as he pressed his lips together. It was scary how easily she could read his face. And totally inappropriate, too.

‘Look, I need to say something
.’ He stopped in his tracks, then tensed as he turned to her, bringing her to a halt. ‘Otherwise, I’ll feel like a total jerk, even more than I already do…’

T
his isn’t going anywhere good, is it?

‘I mean, about last night.’ Her fears confirmed
, she watched him search for words.

‘Don’t,’ she rushed in breathlessly, not sure if she could handle his honesty. ‘
There’s no need to talk about it, really. We… had a moment together, that’s all. I wasn’t myself, and neither were you.’

He wasn’t going to make it easy, she could tell. Her gracious offer to let things rest as they were
fell on deaf ears. If anything, he looked annoyed by it.
As if he had a better idea,
she thought angrily, not sure what he’d expected. She couldn’t have made it any easier for him if she’d tried.

He was about to answer when
, for once in her life, the heavens listened to her silent prayer. The salvation arrived in the form of Stephanie, almost unrecognizable in a bright-pink dress. Only her makeup remained the same; thick, dark eyeliner surrounded her lovely green eyes like war paint. She rushed over to them, her pace at odds with the garden’s peaceful atmosphere.