The Vampire Club (6 page)

“
But we are motivated,” the professor said. “Remember, Andy, we have already achieved half our goal.”

“
Sir?”

“
In our hearts, Andy. In our hearts we see the vampire alive again. The next step is to unbury him.”

“
But, Professor, that’s easier said than done.”

“
That is why we need more information, my student. As it is written, he who...” and the professor went on and on. Boy, was he on a roll, but at least he didn’t go off on his little string of fecal references again.

“
We need to get the rest of the group in on this,” I said, a true leader. “They need to know what we’re really up against.”

“
Perhaps,” he said. “But first, let me suggest that we gather more information. It just seems sort of considerate not to worry the others until we’re one hundred percent sure.”

Professor L was looking out the dark window toward the hidden cemetery. Then he turned to me, thinking, one hand holding the lapels of his jacket and the other digging in his ear. He pulled his index finger out with a popping sound. He suddenly seemed very old to me. Maybe it was his slightly arched back or his lined face, which was beginning to look like a road map, or maybe it was the plaid suit with bell bottoms.

“
I’m a washed-out professor and I won’t be much good. So it’s up to you, Andy.”

If logic doesn’t work, twisting the facts might. “Well, I’m a young man. So it’s up to you, professor.”

He walked over to me smiling, then gently put his arm around my narrow shoulders, and quietly, oh so quietly, whispered into my ear, “I have one disadvantage: My knees pop loud enough to wake the dead.”

“
So what am I to do?”

“
Go downstairs and play detective.”

“
But what am I snooping for?”

“
Anything that will give us info about what they’re planning tonight. They know we’re after the vampire, and believe me, they’re not going to give him up. And they may well be looking to get rid of us without drawing attention to their work.”

“
You’re making assumptions,” I said. “Perhaps they aren’t part of the VVV, but really are relatives of Dial.” The fact that a legendary vampire-hating clan actually existed was still beyond my comprehension. To destroy vampires willingly. It was so wrong, so horrendous, a part of me refused to believe it.

“
Andy, facts are facts, and coincidences exist only in movies. We are among vampire haters. We are among evil.”

I wrapped my arms around myself. We were in their lair. I looked around me once more, at the too-white walls, the menacing painting of a menacing wave, the single confining window. It suddenly felt so wrong, so unnatural. I wanted to touch nothing, yet wanted to smash everything. I did not belong in this house of horror haters.

“
Must I?”

“
You must, Andy. We cannot let them continue their hideous, rather selfish actions. They are denying us our vampires. It is a crime against humanity. For I believe this clan is the cause of the decline of vampire sightings.

“
Vampires have kept our population in check for centuries, much like the barn snake keeps rats and mice in check. It was so natural, so perfect—the ultimate system for the ultimate hunters.”

I felt my blood boiling. The professor was a good motivator, for I now wanted to tear off the head of one of Dial’s supposed relatives. I might need a crane and a chainsaw, but I would do it.

“
But they can’t all be gone, Professor.”

“
We don’t know that. But we can try to find out if you get moving.”

“
Where do I begin?”

“
First, try to go unnoticed. This wicked house is big enough so that you can probably sneak around without being noticed. Now, I’d try the library, the study—”

“
That map of Grandmaster’s, with all the pins? You think they’ve been tracking vampires?”

“
Here, have this.” He then gave me his credit card.

I was touched. I slipped it in my wallet. “What’s the limit?” I asked.

“
No, you blood-sucking wannabe. That’s to open doors and windows.”

“
But that’s only done on TV,” I protested.

“
If it works for them, it’ll work for us. God and the angels of darkness are on our side.”

That was a little odd. The club had occasionally discussed the religious aspects of vampirism, but we always ended up with headaches, so we didn’t do it too often.

“
Right,” I said. “But I’m going to need a trusty sidekick.”

Not that I exactly trusted Janice, but she could kick my side any time.

Chapter Eleven

Professor L left for his room, and I headed down the hall to Janice’s room. I was to report to the professor in an hour.

She opened the door dressed in pajamas. Speed Racer isn’t exactly a turn-on, but somehow it worked for her. She, of course, was surprised to see me.

Bummer. I had hoped she’d been expecting me.

She started. “What are you—”

“
Can I come in?” One of the rules of vampires is that you always have to invite them in. They can’t come in on their own. And, yes, I was building up a diabolical fantasy, but at the moment, I had a job to do.

“
Business or personal?” she said.

“
Club business.” I used my club-president voice so she wouldn’t get the wrong idea. Or the right idea. It’s easy to get confused when you’re in Janice’s room and there’s the bed.

“
Okay, but it better be important. Dial’s dropping by later.”

I smiled and ignored the stake that she’d driven into my heart. Okay, business then. I quickly sorted through the theory for her: the VVV, the decline of vampire sightings, the silver bullets, and the proximity of Dial’s family to the grave of a known vampire.

“
Whoa,” Janice said. “You’re saying we’re being set up?”

“
They must have sent Dial to infiltrate our group,” I said. “We trusted him, loved him as only fellow vampire lovers could love another vampire lover.”

And, apparently, Janice had been ready to do some loving on that fellow vampire lover. Hopefully my story would change her mind.

But she shook her head. “He’s not like that. He’s nice.”

“
Look, Janice. You’ve read the books and seen the movies. The bad boy always has this rough charm that seems to sway the ladies, but first chance he gets,
pow
. Betrayal.”

“
It’s so hard to believe.”

“
And so is the existence of vampires, for most people. But we’ve learned to embrace the dark side, Janice. Now, we need to find out for sure, one way or another. The professor wants us to search the house for clues”

“
Okay,” she said. “I’ll do it. But only to prove that you’re wrong.”

“
Cool.”

“
Let me get dressed.”

“
Cool.”

Five seconds passed. She looked at me. I looked at Speed Racer.

“
Outside,” she said.

* * *

She joined me a minute later and we crept down the hall. The stairs were like steps into hell itself. I looked down the dark, twisting steps, wondering what foul beasts might lurk below.

I’ve been told I have an overactive imagination.

We descended slowly and entered utter darkness. The living room below me, as far as my other four senses could tell, was void of life. Even the potted plants seemed to be holding their breath. But somewhere in the gloomy mansion I heard the mutter of voices.

The coolness felt like a damp sock. I shuddered and reached back, grabbing Janice’s hand. “For safety,” I whispered.

She played along. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, my eyes had somewhat adjusted to the dark, and what I couldn’t see, I used my memory to piece together the black spots. Now I had a choice to make.

To my right, where the voices seemed to be coming from, was the most light. I believed that was the great library with the map. Ahead, through the living room, was the exit, but at that point you could go two ways, out the back door or into the cellar. To our left was blackness, but if I remembered correctly there was a long hall, with only the slightest hint of light from the kitchen. Maybe one of Dial’s cousins was serving up some milk and cookies for the bloodthirsty bunch.

As far as I could tell, the most obvious choice was to go where the most voices were coming from. After all, as I always said, where there are voices, you’ll find someone talking.

“
Eavesdropping is rude,” Janice said, but she didn’t let go of my hand.

“
So is keeping vampires in a state of suspended animation,” I whispered. “They’re the ones with blood on their hands.”

I went right, towards the voices in the kitchen, like a moth attracted to the sun. I stumbled a few times in the dark, and once I hit a cat, or at least I think it was a cat. It screeched and took off into the blackness. A voice somewhere told it to shut the hell up, and because it scared the shit out of me, I seconded the command.

I led the way as I stumbled and fumbled my way down the hall, bumping into a couple of doorjambs, and, now bruised from head to toe, we came to the closed kitchen door.

I made out two different voices, but I hadn’t the slightest idea what they were talking about. In between exchanges, I heard long slurps and the smacking of lips. There were a few belches, and the sound of eating would have made me hungry if they hadn’t been so disgusting.

Janice drew close behind me, and then she was up against me, trying to hear through the door. I kind of lost my concentration. Rather, my concentration was fixed on two firm and warm mounds of flesh against my back.

“
Shh,” Janice whispered. “I’m trying to hear.”

I realized my heart had been pounding too loudly, so I reluctantly eased away from her.

Then, with a belch to end all belches, someone began creaking across the wooden floor. “We’re going to be late, Dagger.”

Then Dagger, apparently, let loose a final belch of approval, and their creaking footfalls headed for the door we were standing behind.

Darting one way and then the other, I basically freaked out, bumping into Janice but not even enjoying it in my panic. Finally I dove for a piece of furniture and scurried behind it, hoping Janice had been fast enough. The door burst open and flooded the hall with light from the kitchen.

“
Where’s that damned cat?” one of them said.

“
Probably behind the chair. He always hides back there.”

Shit. I hoped I was behind the sofa instead of the chair. But that might mean Janice was in trouble.

There was only one thing to do. Actually, there were three: run like hell, surrender, or create a distraction.

I fumbled in my pocket and drew out a prized possession.

It was a skateboard wheel personally used by Corey Haim, which I’d bought during the Startifacts online auction that had paid for Corey’s funeral expenses. Buddy had occasionally joked about the bulge in my pants, but some things are serious.

Now, I had to let the rubber meet the road.

I rolled the wheel along the hall, hopefully fast enough so that the oversized goons couldn’t see what it was. It bounced and thudded along, sounding like it hit a few little statues and potted plants on the way.

“
There he goes,” one of them said. “Get him.”

They ran down the hall, and I never did figure out why they were so hot for the cat. Maybe they were still hungry. At any rate, I crawled out from behind the furniture and hurried into the kitchen, hoping Janice had sense enough to follow.

I found her already inside. “What took you so long?” she said.

Empty sardine cans and cracker crumbs were scattered across the counter, as well as some garlic husks and vinegar. The goons must have been having a stinky late-night snack. No wonder the cat had been so wired.

“
We have to stop meeting like this,” I said.

“
Uh, except we don’t meet,” she said.

“
The club,” I said, trying to cover my tracks. “The club has to stop meeting in creepy old mansions.”

“
Well, we’re not going to learn much in here except that the alleged VVV has terrible dietary habits.”

“
The library,” I said. “Books, information, maps, and most importantly....”

I let the suspense play out. I’d take her attention any way I could get it.

“
Yeah?” she said, beautiful brown eyes wide in anticipation.

“
Grandmaster’s chair. If he’s the Grand Wizard of the VVV, then he calls the shots.”

“
And our late-night-snackers were headed that way.”

“
Ah, brains as well as beauty.”

“
Don’t push your luck. I’ve got some sardine juice and I’m not afraid to use it.”

We crept back into the hall after listening closely to be sure it was abandoned. Then we tiptoed, and this time Janice took my hand of her own free will. I grinned in the dark, although I was mourning the loss of my Corey Wheel. You just don’t get a chance at many celebrity-death memorabilia auctions.