The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus (12 page)

I love it when my boyfriend goes down on me, especially when he puts his hands under my butt, lifts me up, and licks away like he can’t get enough. As I get closer and closer to orgasm, I grab his hands and hold them tight while I come.

While you’re on your way to playing her most delicate organ, use your hands as much as you can to increase her comfort and arousal. It is essential (or at least highly recommended) in building arousal to touch other areas: fondle her breasts and nipples, grasp her hips, hold her buttocks, stroke her thighs and stomach: these activities can also help distract nervous lovers. Many women will find the following toe-curling tips incredibly erotic; experiment to see what she responds to.

• Insert a finger in her mouth for her to suck and lick.

• Run your fingers through her pubic hair.

• Gently pull her pubic hair.

• Try lightly tugging on her outer and/or inner lips—some women like having them pinched.

• Push or pull up the mons veneris to heighten erotic intensity, or try rubbing it in a circular motion.

• When she is very aroused, try squeezing or pinching her breasts and nipples; as arousal increases, she may ask for stronger stimulation.

• Incorporate rimming or anal stimulation with a finger. Remember that once you rim her, you can’t lick her vulva until you’ve cleaned up.

Female Genital Massage

Right before, I have to get my pussy kneaded. It gets me ready.

Genital massage is a technique that can build and increase a woman’s arousal. Like a regular massage, it’s a very sensual form of contact and is very relaxing for the recipient. Giving her mons veneris and vulva a massage is highly recommended, whether it’s a stopover on your way to cunnilingus or a long, languorous part of an erotic full-body massage.

You should not use oils on the vulva. You can give a dry massage, but a water-based lubricant is highly recommended. Start with light touches and strokes all over her torso and abdomen, upper thighs, and hips. Cup your hand over her vulva and hold it still for a moment. Press lightly, and begin to move your hand in a barely discernable circular motion. Apply a steady pressure with the palm of your hand to her outer lips, and keep circling. Next, move on to these massage techniques:

• With both hands, press your flattened fingertips on either side of her vulva.

• Using your thumb and forefinger on each of the outer labia, give a massaging pinch.

• Flatten both hands and stroke her outer lips, pulling up and down.

• With the same flat hand position, press the outer labia in (toward each other), and out (away from each other).

• Use the pads of your fingertips to stroke the outer labia up and down, and massage into the furrows between the inner and outer lips.

• Flatten your palms on her thighs and massage in small circles with your thumbs, working from bottom to top. Stay to the sides of her clitoris.

• Flatten your fingers over her vaginal opening and apply pressure in small circles.

• Alternate any of these techniques with the open-hand massage you started with.

Starting Licks

What I really love is moving around on my lover’s vulva, teasing her—not just focusing on the clit, but moving all around the inner lips, outer lips, upper thighs, the entrance to the vagina. When I do focus on the clit, I don’t necessarily exert a lot of pressure; a light touch can be as arousing as a hard one.

Now that you’re both hot and bothered, you’re ready to take the plunge. This is when you use your mouth to its fullest advantage—or in my opinion, for what it was made for. You’ve been licking everything but her clit this whole time, and by now you’re feeling like you deserve a treat for keeping your impulses in check. Your treat is coming! You’ve been driving her wild with teasing strokes and the heat of your soft tongue; now it’s time to approach her clitoris.

As you move to the clitoris, lick the entire area around it until she’s very aroused. Begin by gently holding her labia open with your fingers, and starting on the side, run your tongue up and down the furrows alongside her clit, between the inner and outer lips. Gently nibble, with your mouth only, her outer and inner labia. In this crucial buildup phase, try kissing her vulva the way you might kiss her mouth. Use your whole mouth, not just an extended tongue. Then, as if licking an ice-cream cone with a soft, flat tongue, give her one long sixty-second lick. Remember: going slowly is essential. Repeat the ice-cream licks if they were well received, until she begins to melt.

Lazily circle her clit with your tongue. Keep in mind that you should never go straight for it—the clitoris is always more sensitive at first—so always lick the shaft from the sides. Some women will have a favorite side, so pay attention to her body language to see what she likes. For instance, if she rocks her pelvis or moans appreciatively, then you’ve found a good spot. You’ll also want to notice if she is responding to a hard or soft tongue: this will most likely change, but it’s important to know what feels great for her at this stage in her arousal. Pay particular attention to her body when your tongue touches her clit—if she suddenly convulses or jolts, you’ve hit the right spot, but with too much force. Does it seem like she’s quivering? That’s also a sign for you to back off. If that happens, retreat to the sides of the clitoral hood and slow your pace.

Lightly flick your tongue over the clitoral hood and shaft in side-to-side strokes. Not all women enjoy up strokes on the hood, because they expose the sensitive glans, so your best bet for a sensitive clit is always a side-to-side approach. Next, flatten your tongue and gently run it over the hood and shaft you just flicked; then return to the light flicker. This is when things will really begin to heat up for both of you: keep flicking and let her responses guide your pressure. She may want your tongue to the side and firmer, or the flickering might be driving her wild—her breathing will change, her skin will flush, her genitals may begin to swell, and her muscles will tense. Don’t stop now, whatever you do, because you’re about to get down to business.

How to Keep Your Lipstick Perfect

One issue particularly bothersome to women of the more femme persuasion, such as myself, is how to keep our lipstick in order when going down on our sisters. Fortunately, cosmetic companies have heard our cries of despair and have formulated lipsticks with what they call “kissing power.” These modern inventions (found in drugstores) stay put for up to four hours and won’t move no matter what set of lips you’re kissing. You can also find products in beauty stores called “lip set,” a liquid you brush over your own perfect lipstick application. This product is a modern miracle—it stays on for around six hours, and you can do anything with it on. Plus, you’re not stuck with the colors in the “kissing power” lines.

Tongue Techniques

No need to feel tongue-tied at the beginning of what is about to be the most important speech you’ve ever given—but it’s easy to feel that way when you get to this point and suddenly draw a blank on what to do next. Even if you don’t get stage fright easily, it’s good to have a few aces up your sleeve, so to speak, when the chips are down. First, find out what you can do with your mouth, then learn the different strokes and combinations.

The smell and the taste and feel on my tongue and lips are hot. I’m tuned right into my lover’s turn-on, you know?

The tongue is the body’s greatest unsung hero. It is a muscle with a life of its own, within the watery moat of our mouth. It speaks, eats, tastes, swallows, kisses, forms a concave groove for sucking ginger ale from straws, and occasionally pokes from our lips for a comic insult. Without the tongue, we primates would be up the proverbial creek without our little pink paddles.

An organ of speech, digestion, and recreation, the tongue is a cleverly encased little package of muscle tissue, glands, fatty cells, and sensitive nerves. A mucous membrane, or mucosa, covers it, while the top surface, or dorsum, contains taste buds sensitive to touch and food flavors, plus serous glands that secrete some of the fluids in saliva—saliva that we create and swallow at the rate of ten thousand gallons in a lifetime, according to
The Guide to Getting It On!
by Paul Joannides. Nerves leading from the tongue are stimulated by taste buds that react with chemicals in anything moist. The brain interprets these nerve impulses as sensations of feeling and taste. The total flavor of anything we put in our mouths comes from the combination of taste, smell, texture, consistency, and temperature sensations. The tongue, with its thousands of nerve endings, talks of sweet chocolate pleasures, shouts pain when we bite it, and quietly whispers messages of erotic impulses to our big brain, all on its own.

Going down on your lover means getting in touch with your tongue—literally. You already have an intimate understanding of what your tongue likes, appreciates, lusts for, even curls up in disdain about, but now we’re talking about the other side of the equation. If she’s going to be shouting, “Harder, right there!” and using your ears as handlebars, you’re going to need to know what “harder” feels like.

What About Tongue Piercings?

Some body piercings are just for sexy decoration, but many can enhance sex play—especially a tongue piercing, in which a metal ball (they come in various sizes) is placed in the center of the tip of the tongue. Cunning linguists and their partners rave about how the ball can give extra-firm stimulation right when—and where—it’s needed. If you have a tongue piercing, practice using it on your hand so you can learn to control the type of sensation and pressure it delivers.

First, wash your hands.

Now, lick the palm of your hand, in the most sensitive, ticklish hollow part. Try long, soft, ice-cream cone strokes; then try firm, short, rapid strokes. You’ll notice that your tongue dries out, then magically rewets itself. This is desirable, because during oral sex your saliva will coat your tongue and flow onto your lover’s vulva, creating a delightful lubrication. Sometimes it makes a lot of lubrication, in which case you might consider placing a towel under her buttocks. (Occasionally, the drips will cool on their way down, making an uncomfortable wet, drippy sensation between her cheeks—avoid this by bunching the towel slightly.) Get yourself accustomed to the way you can adjust the pressure of your strokes; trying them on your hand will give you a good idea of how they translate to your lover.

After all the buildup, when he first puts his mouth right on me the heat is so intense I could come right away. But I don’t let myself.

What Your Mouth Can Do

I like it when my boyfriend sucks on my clit so it kind of pops across his teeth.

Let’s take a moment to appreciate that talkative, expressive, delicious sex organ, the mouth. The term
oral fixation
isn’t just for smokers, and even when used in polite circles it brings images of oral sex to everyone’s mind. That’s because we’re oral creatures by nature, and our mouths are naturally sexual—they talk dirty, look overtly sexual, are strong, wet, and warm, and trigger mental and physical sexual responses when stimulated. This is an intimate place on your body right out in the open for all to see. Treat it like the sex organ it is. Keep your lips soft and moist: exfoliate them with your toothbrush or a gentle scrub once a week and use good lip balm. When you brush your teeth, be sure to brush your tongue to keep it smooth, sexily pink, and appealing to look at. And smile a lot—it’s a great way to flirt, and no mouth is sexier than a smiling one. Here’s what you can do with your mouth between her thighs:

• Cover her vulva with your entire mouth.

• Nibble the outer and inner lips, or the clitoral hood.

• Use your tongue in different ways: it can be soft, light, and pointed, or it can have a focused and firm tip. Be sure not to inadvertently poke her clitoris with too much pressure.

• Learn to use the “ice-cream” lick to your advantage. Make your tongue flat and wide, and lick her vulva like a melting ice-cream cone. This can provide a great transition from one technique to another, but if it drives her wild, keep doing it. These licks can feel very good when they’re firm.

• Try sucking her clitoris. Cunnilingus is far from cocksucking, but she may enjoy having her clitoris sucked. Keep in mind, though, that it’s not for everyone. Try a gentle suction with your lips only, and also suction combined with holding and sweetly squeezing her clit for a slow second. If she’s really randy, combine the suction with your tongue gently pushing her clit in and out, side to side, or up and down, or circling it.