The Throwaway Year (6 page)

She returned his stare, hoping to teach him a lesson but it didn’t appear to affect him.
She allowed her eyes to roam his form, taking complete stock of him. He was too thin. She could see the sharp lines of his jaw with its after-five shadow.

He also seemed unnaturally pale, especially conspicuous because of the shadows beneath his eyes.
Maybe he was getting over some type of illness. When he wasn’t sickly-looking, he was probably quite handsome. He had thick blonde-brown hair that fell into his face threatening to disrupt his line of vision, but he didn’t bother to move it aside.  His fingers were drumming along his desk as he spoke, an almost nervous gesture, despite the calm, confident way that he spoke to his customer.

“Well Mr. Stanley, if you pay with a credit card I can knock another fifty dollars off the cost since I won’t have to pay my man to come down to collect, fair enough?
Alright sir, then I’ll give you to Ginger who will get your credit card information. Hey, it was good doing business with you again. You have a good evening, too.” He transferred the call and the smile that had been on his face while talking to his customer suddenly fell away.

“I’m sorry about that,” he said.

She frowned. “About what?”

“Abdullah.”

“Oh.” She wondered why he was apologizing for Abdullah. “It’s okay. I guess he didn’t believe that I didn’t know about re-runs.”

His eyes flitted to Pam.
Ah… so he probably suspected that she had done it on purpose, too. Maybe she always did this and Abdullah was always the one getting his sales stolen by the
pretty girls
that just happened to be poorly trained by Pam. The hateful heifer…

He got up and s
cribbled something on the board. As he did, his long thin body moved gracefully, despite the awkward angles of elbows and knees in loose fitting jeans and a long-sleeved polo shirt.

“You’re
Brian
, right?” she asked when he was settled back behind his desk.

One brow flitted up at the emphasis that she put on his name.
“Yes. And you’re Hayden.” His hands moved anxiously over the papers on his desk, meticulously straightening them as he spoke. “Have you ever done telemarketing before this?”

“No.”
She could have said that she was familiar with it because of her ex, but she didn’t want to go there.

His brow flitted up again.
“Well you have a very good voice for sales.”

Her face warmed.
She had never liked compliments… if that’s what this was. “I do customer service at my first job. So I talk on the phone a lot.”

He nodded. “Well the key to telemarketing is to convince the perspective buyer that they have a need and that
you
have what can satisfy that need. You don’t say ‘hey do you want to advertise on our phonebook cover?’ You say, ‘I see that you have a small business on the corner of something and other. If you can increase your reach to more people in your community, then it would obviously increase your sales.’”

Hayden nodded in agreement.

“It becomes a no-brainer situation that only a dimwit would turn down, or at least that is what you will make them think.”

Hayden watched him intently, remembering that MyKell used to always tell her how he made his customers basically admit that they were dumbasses for turning down what he was selling.

“The company distributes anywhere from twenty to forty thousand phonebook covers within the target city. Remember to say that; as well as ten complimentary covers going to the owner.
Then
you tell them the price.”

Hayden wondered if he had been listening to her sales technique, and the idea of it slightly embarrassed her.
She had strongly underestimated Telemarketers. There was a lot more to it than just reading a script.

Brian
told her about trade-outs; deadbeats, and the bottom line price; what it cost to actually make the ad, including all over-head so that if she ever hit the bottom line price there would be no commission going to her. Then he explained when it would be in her favor to make a sale with no commission; for instance when there was bonus money for whoever closed their set first, or when there was a deadline that needed to be met because the cover couldn’t go to the printers until every ad was sold.  He emphasized that she was never ever to go below the bottom line price. Then he explained that once she made a sale it was always hers to call back each year as a re-run.

Hayden listened raptly to the information that Brian shared.
“But if I have to wait for everyone else to call the re-runs I won’t be left with anything-”

He shook his head.
“Not many people work here long enough to collect years of reruns.  There are only five on this set and we split the rest.  Unfortunately, you grabbed the wrong one.” He pointed to the clipboard with its mock up telephone cover. “Behind the cover is a list of who sold what in the prior year. You will see that the 5x9 is owned by Abdullah.”

Hayden shook her head, feeling pretty low for not knowing something as simple as that.

“Hayden.” She looked at him again. “It’s not so bad. You sold that ad for more then Abdullah did last year. You made him full commission…” he leaned in and whispered, “something he obviously couldn’t do, right?”

She smiled, liking Brian.
It was cool of him to take the time to really teach her the important aspects of their job.

She gave him a curious look.
“Why doesn’t Mr. Fox let you train the new hires?” He obviously took more pride in it than Pam did.

He looked down at his desk and then just shook his head slightly.
“I guess that’s all,” he finally said.

“Oh…
  Okay, thank you.” She hoped that she hadn’t said anything wrong.

With a brief nod
, he stood and then left the room.  Hayden watched him walk tiredly into the canteen, curious about why he’d taken the time to help her when he obviously hadn’t been directed to do so by Mr. Fox.  Also, why wasn’t his knowledge being put to use by Mr. Fox?

She gathered her things and then went to the board to see which spaces were free for her to call.
She scowled when she saw that Abdullah had scribbled out her initials and replaced them with his own. B.F. were the only other initials listed. Hayden was even more determined than ever to add her sale to the board before Pam’s child-like drawing of a heart, which took the place of her initials. It was Hayden’s goal in life to now out-do Pam in every way.

Hayden fell into bed in near exhaustion.
Clean cotton sheets enveloped her freshly showered body and a smile was frozen on her face even hours after she had drifted off to sleep. She had made her second sale and had done it before Pam had made even one. As far as she was concerned, all was right with the world.

The next morning Hayden stared at the calendar as the oatmeal that she cooked and refrigerated in small batches each w
eekend heated in the microwave.  The night before, Hayden had written the newest affirmation on the monthly notes section of her calendar. Her writing had been almost like cat scratch in her fatigue, but at the time, it seemed very important to have it written so that she could read it this morning.

The way I treat people who I seek and expect nothing from is the same way I treat those I hope to gain and learn from.

Hayden stared at the words, repeating them, feeling them and then finally trying to accept them. She wouldn’t mind being friends with Brian, but there was no way that she would reach out in a friendly way to Pam… or even to Abdullah. She retrieved her oatmeal in deep thought and then sat down to eat it.

The hell with that
… she scowled. Yet as she rode the recumbent bike at the gym, Hayden couldn’t stop thinking that the meaning of her latest affirmation was not quite so obvious. Friendship was based on trust and only a fool would trust a backstabbing she-dog!

She was back home and showering away the musk of her workout when she finally came to an understanding of the words that kept playing over and over
again in her head. She was standing with her face turned to the spray of the water, feeling a calmness fill her as she reverted to a meditative state. It felt so good to feel her sore muscles being soothed by the hot spray. This calm was the way she wished to always feel.

Hayden’s eyes suddenly popped open.
So then why would she allow a person like Pam to affect her? Yesterday, she had almost lost her cool, until Brian called her over to his desk.

It was Pam’s own sad f
ault that she was hateful.  Besides, what did Hayden really care? That woman was so far beneath her that she didn’t even enter her line of vision. There was just too much going on in Hayden’s own life to waste even an ounce of energy playing get-back-at-Pam games.

Hayden smiled to herself, blinking her wet lashes.
Yep, if a person doesn’t negatively impact her, then it was nothing to treat them the way she would treat any other person, right? 
That
was the real meaning behind the affirmation.

Hayden went through the remainder of her morning in high spirits despite the fact that it was Friday; the last day of a long, hard week
and by all rights she should be utterly exhausted. She and Dani were hurrying back to work from a corner coffee shop where they had taken their last break. Dani was sipping from an obnoxiously large, whipped cream-laden concoction and Hayden grimaced when she thought about the amount of calories in just that one drink—probably more than she herself would consume in a whole day.

Ye
t Dani’s voluptuous body was cute and bounced and moved in all the right ways so she was content with her weight.  “Hayden, I’m telling you that this guy is gorgeous, funny, has a good job—seriously, you should meet him.”

Hayden resisted the urge to roll her eyes.
Dani kept bringing up this guy that was friends with her boyfriend. He was supposed to be tall, dark, handsome
and
single.

He had no children and…
he was single. He was funny and… guess what else? He was single. Dani seemed to think that she needed to fall into line and quickly snatch him up before some other woman did. Dani didn’t seem to understand that a love interest was the last thing on Hayden’s mind—as if her ego could stand rejection from two men in the same year.

Hayden shook her head adamantly.
“Nope. Not going to happen.”

“What are you waiting for?
You lost like twenty pounds and you’re looking great. Plus it’s been over two months since… well, MyKell left. It helps to have someone when you’re getting over someone else, Hayden.”

Hayden cringed at the sound of
his
name being spoken out into the air. “This is a horrible time to meet someone. I’m really super busy-”

“Yes you are!
All you do is work and exercise. I mean I know it’s therapeutic, but not if you’re using it as a way to hide!”

Hayden sighed regretting that she hadn’t told her best friend about her plans to disregard this entire year as just a huge stepping-stone to betterment.
Then Dani would understand that there was nothing but self-improvement happening until she reached her goal. Deep down, Hayden understood that it wasn’t healthy to completely detach herself from her own life. Yet, because of this decision, she had never once cheated on her diet or ended her workout even one minute before she was supposed to.

Had she tried doing this any other way then she
would have already failed.  If she failed… well there was just no reason to be. She would forever be that person that said she would lose weight; that made the New Year’s resolutions, that paid good money for the diets, but who never followed through.

So i
f she couldn’t find some sense of self-pride, then the woman that she had turned into would always disgust her. This throwaway year actually gave her life a purpose. It was penance, reward and self-discovery, and failure was not an option!

Hayden took a deep breath and met her friend’s eyes.
“I will meet this man, but only when I’ve met my personal goal. Not one moment before.”

Dani smiled.
“That’s all I want. We should go shopping this weekend. Your clothes are too big.”

“What?”
Dani was really dropping the subject that easily? Hayden cringed again. “No shopping. I still have a long way to go before I spend money on clothes.”

“Uh…
then it’s time for you to start digging through your old clothes for the smaller sizes. Because pretty soon, your pants are going to fall down right around your ankles!”

Hayden patted the belt that was cinched around her waist and hidden by her blouse.
She knew that the material was bunched together and hoped that it wasn’t too noticeable. Obviously it was. Well being unsightly was not in the plans! So this weekend she would make the time to go down into the basement and dig through the plastic containers full of her old clothes.