The Tenant (16 page)

“Let me help.” He started laying out cartons from the second bag just as Amanda was reaching for it. Their hands touched accidentally, and she pulled hers away as if he’d burned her.

She raised her gaze to his. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Derek…”

She was struggling for words, and he pitied her. “Let’s eat. We can talk and figure things out.”

She nodded. Derek needed some liquid courage, but when he offered to get some wine, she declined. “I think I’m done with alcohol for a while.”

So she was going to blame their tryst on having one too many shots the other day. He wasn’t fine with that, but simply stared at her until she blushed.

“It upsets my stomach,” she said.

That was better. “Sorry to hear that. How did the dress rehearsal go?”

She made a grimace. “I don’t know what went wrong, but it wouldn’t zip up. The dressmaker wasn’t there. His assistant said I need to lose weight.”

Oops. Derek had forgotten calling the dressmaker and telling him Amanda needed the dress taken in half a size. She seemed to be taking it well, though, so there was no reason for him to feel bad.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have taken time off work. Need to work out a few hours a day, the way I consume calories,” she said. “Shouldn’t be eating this, either.” She held up a dumpling with her chopsticks, dipped it in sweet and sour sauce and popped it in her mouth.

“You look damn fine to me.” Derek licked his lips and watched her blush turn almost crimson.

“Stop it. Please.”

“What?” He feigned innocence.

“You know. This—us. It can’t happen again. I’m back with Mason, and it’s bad enough, what we did. I hate cheating. I hate cheaters. What happened between us… It was wrong, and it never would have happened if I didn’t believe he’d betrayed me first. If I wasn’t hurt, I wouldn’t have…” She scrunched her face in distaste. Distaste aimed at him.

He was suddenly pissed off. “You wouldn’t have climbed into my bed? You wouldn’t have let someone like me touch you? Make you come again and again? Wouldn’t have whispered my name as you begged me to fuck you?”

“Derek!” Her blush deepened, the contrast making the green of her eyes pop even more.

He wouldn’t let that distract him. “What? Am I wrong? You resent sleeping with me because you resent who I am. You can hate me all you want, but know that you did what you did because you wanted to. You wanted
me
, like it or not, and you can never change the fact that I fucked you, again and again, in the apartment you and your future hubby will house your love in.”

“What I meant was that I’d never knowingly cheat on someone. And I wouldn’t have used you, when you’d been so hurt by your ex. I obviously shouldn’t have worried about that. You only mind cheating when it’s done to you.” Her voice had dropped an octave.

A warning bell rang inside Derek’s head. He was crossing the line, but he couldn’t let his anger go. If he did, he’d be tempted to be honest with her. To tell her he didn’t think Mason was the right guy for her, and that she shouldn’t go through with the wedding.

That she belonged with a man who could make her body sing and her eyes shine with the fire they did now.

That she belonged with him.

He rose, kicking his chair back. “Yup. That’s the kind of guy I am. I fuck other men’s fiancées. I love sullying holier-than-thou chicks who think they have it all figured out. Luckily for you, my job here’s done. I’ll be out by the end of next week.”

Amanda was left watching him go. She didn’t try to stop him. The considerate, passionate lover he’d been the past weekend had reverted to the jackass she’d initially met, and that was rather convenient for her. When he acted like a cocky bastard, she wasn’t tempted to throw her wedding plans out the window and climb on top of him.

Of course, she’d never be tempted to do that. She’d gotten a second chance with a wonderful, kind, loving man, and she wasn’t going to fuck that up too. In retrospect, she couldn’t believe she hadn’t given Mason the benefit of the doubt. She should have stayed. Should have let him explain.

Not that he’d tried all that hard to stop her from leaving.

Something else gnawed at the edges of her consciousness, but Derek’s door slamming shut didn’t allow the thought to form properly. She pulled the noodles in front of her. She’d worry about the wedding dress starting tomorrow. Now she had to celebrate Derek’s impending move. Or eat her feelings.

She was fine; she would be fine; the dress would fit; she’d be happy with De—

Mason
.

She’d be happy with Mason, forever.

Forever.

Done with the noodles, she cleaned out the pork rolls. She shouldn’t be eating so much, but she’d hate to throw it out and then regret it tomorrow.

Perhaps she didn’t need to throw it out. There was always the refrigerator. She could…pause things until she was ready to deal with them. Push them from her mind until she knew what she craved.

She sighed. This was no longer about leftovers.

Once every morsel of food was consumed, she moved to the living room and plopped on the couch. The fabric was worn out at places, but the pillows were soft and inviting. Amanda could see why Derek spent so much time on it. She turned her face to the side and inhaled deeply through the nose. Was it her imagination, or could she smell him? Her head felt light at the memory of his scent suffusing her senses, his sweat slick against her skin.

She reached for the remote. There had to be something she could watch to take her mind off Derek.

As soon as she turned on the TV, she came face to cock with a tall beefy guy. A petite redhead lay on the hood of a muscle car, legs spread, playing with herself while he approached her with a leer.

Amanda thought of Derek prowling toward her, naked and magnificent.

This was not cool.

She flipped to the next channel. “Ah, come on!” A surfer type guy was eating out a blonde. The woman threw her head back, eyes hooded in ecstasy, her mouth forming a perfect ‘O.’

Amanda doubted the male porn star was anywhere near as talented with his tongue as Derek was, and…

What was up with daytime television? Porn at this hour?

She went up another channel and groaned. Someone—Derek—was obviously subscribed to every porn channel he could find. A man’s ass clenched. A woman’s nails dug into the toned buttock, and the man let out a moan full of need.

Derek sounded like that when she’d wrapped her lips around his cock for the first time. And the second. And…

She rolled her shoulders. She needed to get out. Get some air. Stop thinking of Derek and what he’d done to her. With her.

What he’d never do again.

Mason would be good in bed. He was big and strong, and had stamina. His touch might need some work, but she’d get him there. He needed a little time to figure out how to make her respond, but with the perfectionist streak of a Libra, he was bound to keep trying till he was excellent at it.

Suddenly, she was dying to see him.

She called his office, but he said he had meetings back to back for the rest of the day. She considered going by Alice’s, but Alice was Derek’s number one fan, and Amanda honestly didn’t know what she’d say if her sister started asking questions. She could try the truth, that Mason hadn’t cheated after all and the wedding was back on. That she and Derek were through. Would that be enough for Alice?

Was it enough for her?

As if summoned by her confusion, her cell phone rang.

She answered, not bothering to hide her relief. “Becca! Just the person I needed to talk to.”

Her best friend laughed. “What are maids of honor for, if not to sense when the bride’s about to bolt?”

It was clearly meant as a joke, but Amanda couldn’t laugh.

“Uh oh. Drinks?” Pretty much Becca’s universal remedy.

“It’s three o’clock!”

“Three oh six. We can start with coffee and ease into alcohol. You’ll need it once you hear my news. I’ll pick you up in half an hour.”

“I’ll be downstairs.”

There was no way she could stay there for another minute.

•●•

Becca shook her head and her curls bobbed around it in a crazy, dark halo. “You can’t do this to yourself.”

“I can’t stop doing it. I can’t stop thinking of what I did, and with Derek being around all the time… I just can’t. I wanted to tell Mason everything, but Derek says I shouldn’t.”

Becca sat back and smoothed her top over her ample curves. She smiled wickedly at someone over Amanda’s shoulder.

“Will you stop flirting with everyone? I need you to focus!”

“I’m only being polite. ’Sides, not like I’m planning on going through with anything. My plate is full these days.” It was obvious Becca was itching to say more.

“I’d love to hear all about it,” Amanda said, “as soon as we’re done solving my problem.”

Becca rolled her hazel eyes. Big, fringed with dark eyelashes, and flecked with gold, they were her most distinguishing feature. Not that the rest of her wasn’t attractive. She’d always been curvy—something that hadn’t even changed during the brief time she’d joined Amanda’s dojo—but knew how to work it to her advantage and never lacked admirers.

“You’re the problem,” she said, adjusting her low-cut neckline. “You can’t change what happened, and can’t make it better by telling Mason the truth. All you can do is love him with all your heart and never do it again. You have the rest of your life to make it up to him, Amanda. You don’t need to kick yourself over it any longer.”

“So you’re saying it’s okay too.”

“No. And that’s not what Derek said either, by the way. Cheating is wrong, and that’s coming from me—not really a paragon of virtue. It’s wrong and it’s bad and it’s disrespectful. It hurts people. But you didn’t know it was cheating. You’d broken up with Mason. Yes, it was over a misunderstanding, but you’d said you were done. If you tell him about Derek, you’ll destroy him. Just get past it.”

Amanda nodded. She could see the wisdom in Becca’s words, as she’d seen Derek’s point. It still didn’t feel right, but maybe if she focused on becoming the best wife ever, she’d eventually redeem herself.

“I’m only sorry I’m
so busy
these days and can’t take Derek off your hands,” Becca said. “He sounds fun!”

“He can be, when he’s not an unbelievable asshole.” He could be fun and sweet and sexy, and she shouldn’t be thinking about any of that.

“Like I said, too bad I’m all manned out…”

“Okay, you’re obviously dying to tell me.”

“Nah. Only if you really wanna know.”

“I really really wanna know. Will you please tell me all about this guy?”

“It’s guy
s
, actually. And they know about each other.”

“You’re—”

Becca beamed a wide smile. “In a relationship with two wonderful men who adore me.” She ran a hand down her side and slapped one fleshy thigh. “Too much jelly for one man, baby.”

“You did
not
just say that.”

The smile wouldn’t waver. “I did. I’ve said all sorts of crazy things these days, but I can’t help it. I’m happy.”

“I’m happy you’re happy. I’m just sorry for… What was that guy’s name? The one I last saw you with? Tall, dark, and handsome, seemed gaga about you?”

“You mean Brad?”

“Yes! Brad! Brad was cute. I liked Brad.”

“So do I. Luckily, so does Colin.”

“You’re impossible,” Amanda said, smiling. “Now I’m seriously jealous! But hey, maybe that’s the solution to my dilemma?” Amanda regretted the words the moment they were out of her mouth.

Becca’s brow furrowed. “I thought your dilemma was whether to tell Mason the truth or not. Didn’t realize Derek was more than a fling.”

“He wasn’t. He’s not. I’m being stupid. So, tell me about your boyfriends. How does the sex work? Do they take turns, or is it a team sport?”

“Depends on the mood.” She called the waitress over and asked for two bottles of beer.

“Make mine alcohol free,” said Amanda.

The woman threw a glance at their untouched coffees and shrugged. “Coming right up.”

“So, the mood?” Amanda asked when the waitress was gone. Becca elaborated, but Amanda couldn’t stop thinking about that one sentence:
Didn’t realize Derek was more than a fling.