The Someday List (27 page)

"That's no excuse-I'm owning up to my failure. I started drinking years ago, after my son and his wife were killed in a car accident. My daughter-in-law's mother was deceased and her father
was legally blind, so that meant my husband and I had to take
custody of our three grandchildren.

"I can honestly say it has been a joy" Aunt Irene's voice began
to tremble, but she continued. "They are beautiful young people,
and they deserve much better than they've had from me when
my drinking has spiraled out of control.

"I'm asking you to please give me a chance to right the things
I've done wrong. They've already lost their biological parents.
Please let me stay with them and make it up to them"

Before she finished speaking, a young couple entered the courtroom and sat on the last row of seats. Rachelle didn't recognize
them, but they seemed to be hanging on to Aunt Irene's every
word.

Rachelle ignored the knot forming in her stomach and turned
her attention back to Judge Carmichael who was reviewing the
sentence both parties had agreed upon, to decide whether she
would approve it.

Please, God, grant her mercy, Rachelle prayed again.

"First of all, Mrs. Burns, let me commend you for taking care of
your grandchildren after your devastating loss;" the judge said. "I'm
sure the experience has been rewarding for you and for them.

"However, I can't ignore the seriousness of this crime. You were
driving drunk:" She paused and let those words resonate. "Your
actions injured a child and could have killed someone:"

She paused again and stared at Aunt Irene, who didn't avert
her gaze.

"I am taking into account the fact that you are a first offender, and
that you've already begun giving back to the community by reading
to pediatric patients. I will honor the guidelines set forth in this plea
agreement and sentence you to one year of probation and 200 hours
of community service, and I order you to complete an accredited
substance abuse program, such as Alcoholics Anonymous:' Judge
Carmichael's expression was as nonchalant as if she were ordering
a cup of coffee, but her warning pricked Rachelle's heart. "If you
wind up back in here, Mrs. Burns, I'll revoke your license and you
will serve time in jail. I hear stories like yours all the time-it's up to
you to turn things around for these children you say you love:"

"Thank you, Your Honor;' Aunt Irene said. "I'll work hard to
insure that I'm never in this position again."

Rachelle glanced at her cousins and saw that Indigo was weeping. Yasmin was too young to understand what the judge's orders
meant, and she peered at Rachelle expectantly.

"Does this mean Mommy's not in trouble anymore?'"

"It means that she will make up for what happened by continuing to visit Dr. Bridgeforth's office to read books to children," Rachelle whispered. "It also means she will have to talk to someone
about finding good ways to handle pain when her hips bother
her. But she's had her surgery now; she'll be feeling a lot better in
a few more months."

"So she's not going to jail?"

Yasmin covered her mouth to stifle a scream when Rachelle
told her no.

Minutes later, outside the courtroom, Uncle Charles refused
to give the Herald reporter a comment, and the man reluctantly
left to file his story.

The family took turns hugging Aunt Irene, who was in tears.
Rachelle noticed when she stepped aside that the couple who had
listened to Aunt Irene's plea and sentence stood nearby, watching.
Glaring. They had to be the parents of the little boy who was injured in the crash, she decided. The woman followed Aunt Irene's
every move with her eyes.

When she noticed Rachelle staring, she challenged her. "What
you looking at? I'm checking out the criminal who hurt my baby
and just got off scot free, 'cause she said she was sorry"

Everyone froze in unison.

Where was the bailiff? Rachelle couldn't believe he had disappeared so quickly.

Her father stepped in front of Irene. "Ma'am, maybe you'd better leave," he said calmly.

The man who had accompanied the angry lady tugged at
her arm. "That's alright, Angela," he said, while keeping his
eyes on Rachelle's dad. "We don't want no trouble. These folks
uppity. You see that. They bought that old lady's freedom. They
gone pay for our son's doctor bills, though. That prosecutor
told us so"

The woman yanked her arm free, and Herbert moved again
to protect his sister.

But Aunt Irene gripped her walker and poked her head around
him. "No, it's okay, Herb;' she said. "I want to talk to her, if she'll
let me"

"I'm listening." The woman flung her shoulder-length reddish-blond braids over her shoulder, pursed her full lips, and
folded her thick arms. A deep frown creased her cinnamon brow,
but even so, Rachelle was struck by her pretty features, which
under different circumstances would have seemed friendly and
inviting.

Aunt Irene shuffled toward the woman and her companion,
with Uncle Charles at her side.

When she reached them, she sighed and pushed herself as
upright as she could. "I'm glad you came today," she said softly.

Surprise registered on the man's face. "My wife and I are angry
at you. We don't have much in this world, but your selfishness
coulda taken our baby's life. He's all we got, and it took us years
to have him. You coulda killed him:"

Tears swam in Aunt Irene's eyes. "You two love your son and
God, don't you?"

Now the woman's expression changed.

"How do I know?" Aunt Irene answered the woman's unasked
question with a halfhearted smile. "Because there's nothing else
keeping either of you from cursing my name right now. You're
being way too kind for what I did."

The man looked at his wife. The fire in her eyes seemed to dim,
but she didn't alter her stance.

"We received your letter," the man said, "but we had to come
here today. My wife couldn't make peace with this until she heard
what you had to say. She wanted to see you and hear you before
she'd ask God to forgive you. We're here today really for her, to
help her move on"

Aunt Irene peered into the woman's eyes. Even from where she
stood, Rachelle could see the challenge the woman was issuing.
Whatever Aunt Irene said had better be good.

"Nothing I can say to you right now will change how furious
you must be at me for the pain I've caused and for the fear I put
in your heart on the day of the accident;' she began. "You heard
me in courtroom-I lost a child of my own. I wouldn't wish that
anguish on my worst enemy.

"I'm really sorry for hurting you and your baby with my selfish actions;' Aunt Irene said. "What I did was wrong. If I had not been
drinking and driving, your child wouldn't have a cast on his arm
and leg, and he wouldn't have had to suffer pain and fear, and who
knows what else. I am so very sorry, and I hope that someday,
you and your baby can forgive me:"

"Talk is cheap, you know," the mother said. "I hope you really
meant what you told the judge, that you'll get some help. Next
time around you won't be so lucky."

I meant it, and with God's help, I will honor that promise;' Aunt
Irene said "I can also promise you that I won't ever forget what I've
done, or this conversation. My husband and I have already talked
to our insurance company. They haven't told us yet how they plan
to handle the claim you've filed, but we've told them that we don't
want to battle you. If whatever is settled on is fair, it's fair:'

Rachelle recognized the wariness that filled the father's face.
It had draped her own often enough in her exchanges with her
husband.

"Thank you. That means a lot," he said. "My wife may not
be able to forgive you today, and I don't know that I can either,
but we got a place to start. And we don't want your money-we
want you to keep your word. Don't wind up here again, hurting
somebody else"

His response left Aunt Irene reeling.

Rachelle approached her quickly and began steering her away,
back to the family, before Aunt Irene lost her composure.

The man pulled his wife away and rubbed her shoulders as they
walked down the narrow corridor, toward the courthouse exit.

Before they turned a corner that led to an escalator, the mother
paused and called out to Aunt Irene. "I can't do it today, but I'm
going to pray about forgiving you. Please, just do what you said.
I gave my son your letter, and I want to believe it's the truth"

With that, they were gone.

Aunt Irene turned to Rachelle and wept in her arms.

"Thank you, God," she uttered softly, when her tears finally
abated. "You gave me a chance to ask for forgiveness and to help
that family heal. Thank you, God:"

The family filed quietly out of the courthouse behind Aunt
Irene and Uncle Charles. Rachelle's heart was full of questions
and emotions.

She didn't know what to make of what had transpired this
morning-in the courtroom or afterward. She marveled at how
graciously her aunt had handled her sentence and her encounter
with her victims.

If this was what growing in God's grace could achieve, she
needed to pick up her pace.

addy was flying home tonight, just two days after
his arrival, and Rachelle was glad they had this brief
time alone.

She needed to talk with someone about the volcano churning inside of her, from questions about her husband's supposed
infidelity to her unresolved anger at the role her parents played
in the death of her marriage to Troy.

This evening, over dessert at a local cafe, Rachelle tried to
keep it real. Over the summer, she had grown impatient with
social niceties that only served to maintain artificial boundaries
and relationships. She was realizing that only the truth allowed
a person to have deep and authentic connections.

Life was messy-Aunt Irene's situation had proven that. But
in taking responsibility for her actions, her aunt had opened the
door for healing with her family and with her victim's parents,
and she had made peace with the fact that she couldn't recover
by herself. She needed help.

So did Rachelle, especially from her father.

She told him about her visit with Jillian and her struggle since
that time to sort things out.

"So you're having an early life crisis?" he asked, sounding very
much like Gabe.

Rachelle sighed. "Call it what you want, Daddy. Maybe I'm
finally facing the truth about myself and about the way I've lived
my life-mostly to please others, including you and Mom:"

Herbert's eyes widened. "Where's all this coming from?"

She shrugged. "I won't get into all of it tonight, but I'm wrestling with a lot of things, Daddy. I'm angry at how my marriage
to Troy ended, and I feel like I was pressured into leaving him by
you and Mom. That wasn't right."

He sat back in his wooden seat and folded his arms. Rachelle
could tell he wasn't angry, just surprised.

"Okay. Why is this the first time I'm hearing this?"

"Because I've never had the courage to tell you before"

"What else is there?"

Rachelle took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. "I
believe Gabe is cheating on me, with one of his nurses, and I'm
not sure what to do"

This one made Daddy angry. "That no good-"

Rachelle raised her palm to silence him. "Wait a minute now,
this is the man you and Mom chose for me, remember?"

Her father leaned onto the table and glared at her. "We may
have considered him the best match for you as a husband, but
that didn't give him free rein to treat you like nothing"

"So you think I should leave him?"

That question cooled his fire. "Take it slow, Rachelle. I'm angry
because I'm your father, and I don't want to see anybody hurt you.
But I don't know all that goes on in your house. Is he putting his
hands on you?"

Rachelle shook her head.

"Alright, as long as he's not hitting you or abusing you in some way, you've got to look inside and figure out whether this marriage is worth saving. He seems like a good man to me, but I don't
live in Houston. I see him at his best whenever we're together.
You just be assured that whatever issues you have with me and
your mother, we love you. We are here for you, and you are never
trapped in a situation you can't leave and survive:'

Rachelle left her seat and went around the table to hug him.

"Thank you, Daddy."

"You're welcome, baby."

If Jillian and Aunt Irene were right, that God's love was deeper
and wider than that of any earthly father's, she was going to be
more than okay.

ach time she heard the words "Dr. Covington" used in
reference to her, Rachelle did a double-take. In her world,
that had always been Gabe, heart surgeon extraordinaire.