The Reluctant Cowgirl (10 page)

Jeremy had always spent Sundays with Beka. Through the week, while he and his dad worked on getting their new land into shape, his mom had kept Beka, sometimes even on Saturday. But Sunday mornings, the two of them would get up and get ready for church—“Does this dress look pretty on me, Daddy?”—and go together to Sunday school. Then after church and a big lunch at his parents’ house, father and daughter would do something fun, just the two of them. They’d flown kites, gone fishing, built snowmen, swam in the river, and even gone to the Little Rock Zoo and the Memphis Zoo.

Now since Beka wasn’t here anymore, he couldn’t face all the sweet little girls in their pretty dresses, holding their daddies’ hands and skipping into their Sunday school classes. It was just too hard. So he waited and went to worship.

And usually he slipped in right before the service started. As he pulled into the parking lot, he glanced at the clock. Today was no exception.

In the crowded auditorium, Jeremy glanced around for a place to sit. He spotted a familiar blond head halfway up the aisle with an empty seat beside her. He started forward then stopped. Sitting with her now would just make it harder when she went back to New York. At least as it was now, he could pretend that he saw her for work and that their suppers were just a continuation of that. He slid into the pew next to the back by two women he recognized as friends of his mother.

Willing himself to concentrate on worship was hard this morning, even though he knew it was only right. But he managed to keep his mind on the service, and when the hour was up, he felt refreshed and uplifted. And closer to God than he had in a long time.

When he bumped into Luke in the foyer, the contractor clasped his hand. “Hey, thanks for taking such good care of Crystal this week. Work’s been crazy and I haven’t been around as much as I wanted to be.”

Jeremy returned his handshake, wondering what Luke would say if he knew how much of Jeremy’s spare time was spent thinking about his sister. “I enjoy working on the ranch.” Not to mention talking to Crystal.

Luke looked around. “I need to talk to your dad about some repairs he wants done at his house. Do you know where he is?”

“You’ll have to wait a couple weeks. They flew out yesterday to Florida.”

“No problem. I’ll catch him when he gets back.” Luke looked a little embarrassed. “I was just going to have to ask him to be patient with me anyway. Like I said, things are crazy at work.”

“I’m sure he won’t mind.” Over Luke’s shoulder, Jeremy could see Crystal walking slowly toward them. Her black dress was simple, but somehow she made it look elegant and ... beautiful. Suddenly he became aware that Luke was saying something. “What?”

Luke glanced back to see what had caught Jeremy’s attention, and a knowing smile flitted across his face. “I was asking you if you had plans for dinner. Don’t you usually eat with your mom and dad on Sundays?”

“Yeah, I usually do.” He tried not to notice that Crystal had reached them. “I’m just going to run into town and get a bite to eat.”

“We’ve got enough food to feed one more hungry cowboy, don’t we, sis?”

Crystal looked startled but nodded. “Sure.”

Jeremy felt his face grow hot. “Oh, thanks. But I don’t want to push in on a family gathering.”

Luke laughed. “Our motto is ‘The more the merrier.’”

Jeremy glanced at Crystal, trying to read her expression.

She put her hand on his arm, her smile genuine. “We really would love for you to come, Jeremy. There’s plenty of food.”

He knew he probably shouldn’t go, for the same reason he hadn’t sat with her. He also knew that his weak resolve didn’t stand a chance. So at least for now he was going to quit fighting. He’d see her while he could and deal with his heart when she left. “I’ll run home and change and see y’all in a few.”

“Don’t take too long. The food goes fast,” Luke teased.

“So Luke invited your cowboy to lunch?” Kaleigh looked up from where she was putting together a broccoli-and-cheese casserole.

Crystal, on tiptoes getting plates out of the cabinet, came down to earth with a thud. “He’s not my cowboy.” And she didn’t know why the thought of his
being
her cowboy made her heart skitter at such an alarming rate. She set the plates on the counter and started gathering silverware from the top drawer.

Kaleigh lifted the glass casserole dish and walked across the kitchen. “Would you open the oven for me?”

Crystal yanked the oven door open. Maybe the heat hitting her face would disguise the redness she could feel in her cheeks.

As she closed the door, Kaleigh slipped the oven mitt off her hand and turned to face her. “Why not?”

Crystal pretended to misunderstand. “Why not what?”

“Don’t play dumb.” Kaleigh grinned. “Why is he not your cowboy?”

“Because I’m going back to New York in a few weeks.” Sometimes the obvious had to be stated.

“He doesn’t fly? Or he doesn’t know the way to New York?”

Crystal sighed. “Long-distance relationships never work.”

“Never is a big word,” Kaleigh said.

What was it with her sisters and waxing philosophical about the word
never?
Or was it just that Crystal used the word a lot?

“What have you got to lose by trying?” Kaleigh prodded.

My heart.
But Crystal wasn’t interested in being quite that honest, so she just shrugged. “I don’t see you in a relationship. Why is that?”

She glanced at her sister. It sure wasn’t because she didn’t have plenty of opportunities. Her flaming red hair and startling green eyes were trumped only by a smile that lit up any room. When she first came to live with them—a freckle-faced river rat straight from her grandfather’s houseboat—they’d all thought she and Chance were twin boys, but by the time she hit adolescence, she’d blossomed into a living doll.

Now it was Kaleigh’s turn to blush, something she did easily. She retrieved the raw vegetables from the refrigerator. “I’m too much of a rebel and I don’t know how to compromise.”

Crystal frowned. “Who told you that?”

“The last three guys I dated.” She arranged the carrots on the veggie tray.

“They probably just wanted to play video games and watch
Star Wars
over and over.”

Crystal’s words had the desired effect. Kaleigh giggled as she spread out the broccoli and cauliflower. “Pretty much.”

“Some things shouldn’t be compromised.” The thought of her sister settling for anything less than her heart’s desire in a boyfriend made Crystal furious. But hadn’t that been what she’d done herself with Brad?

Kaleigh chopped the tomato with enthusiasm. “Yeah, like work ethic and good taste.”

Jeremy has work ethic and good taste,
Crystal thought inanely.

Kaleigh gave her a sideways glance. “So do you like Jeremy? If you weren’t going back to New York, I mean?”

“You know what daddy always said about
if.
”

The woman who had owned Jeremy’s house before him had apparently loved flowers. Before she’d moved to Texas to be near her grandkids, she’d planted wildflower seeds by the bucket around the perimeter of the yard. He cut one of each kind of flower. At first he felt embarrassed by the motley crew of blooms in his hand. But when he put them all together in an old glass pitcher, he was happy with the results. Crystal would love this.

Not that it was just for her, of course. He balanced the arrangement beside him on the truck seat and reassured himself that it was a hostess gift and nothing more. It could even be for Luke, since technically that was who had invited him.

It actually was Luke who opened the door when he arrived at the McCords’ house. Matthew and Chance glanced up from the couch where they were sitting. When they saw the flowers in his hands, they exchanged looks that said volumes.

Suddenly embarrassed, Jeremy quickly thrust the bouquet into Luke’s hands. “Here, this is for y’all.”

Luke just as quickly placed it back in Jeremy’s hands. “We know who this is for, man. She’s in the kitchen.” With one hand on Jeremy’s back, he propelled him gently toward the kitchen.

Jeremy didn’t argue. If he was honest with himself, he knew who they were for, too.

Just as he walked in, Crystal said, “I
am
going back to New York. That’s what matters.”

He’d never doubted it, but that didn’t stop his stomach from clenching at hearing it said so directly. The youngest sister looked up at him, and her face turned as red as the tomato she was chopping.

Crystal’s eyes widened. “Jeremy ... those daisies are beautiful. Well, they all are.” She flashed him a smile that made the whole room seem brighter. “But daisies are my favorite.”

“I picked them out of my yard. Well, not out of my yard, of course, but around my yard, in the flower beds.” He shoved them toward her.

Unlike Luke, she took them. “Thank you.” Crystal caught her sister’s eye. “For thinking of us. That was so sweet. Wasn’t it, Kaleigh?”

Kaleigh mumbled something Jeremy couldn’t quite make out. Then she took a visible breath and laid the knife down. “I’m going to go call Elyse and see if the rolls are almost ready,” she said and quickly left the room.

“Can I do anything to help?” Jeremy knew he should probably go back into the living room with the guys, but right now he just wanted to enjoy a minute alone with Crystal.

Crystal raised an eyebrow. “Help at your own risk, because today’s agreement is the girls do the cooking and the guys clean up after. I’m not sure helping now will get you out of KP.”

“I’ll take my chances,” he said. “What can I do?”

She tilted her head. “Do you know how to set a table?”

Was this a trick question? “Not if Emily Post is coming to dinner. But if it’s just going to be us and your brothers and sisters, I can probably manage.”

She laughed and handed him the silverware and napkins. “Perfect. Give it your best shot. Holler if you need anything.”

“Plates, maybe?”

“We do a buffet-style line, so the plates stay in here. And honestly, we’re not picky. Just make sure we all have something to eat with and something to wipe our mouths with.”

He stepped into the dining room and set out seven place settings with silverware and napkins. Was it crazy that he was happy that she trusted him to set the table? That she hadn’t just shooed him into the living room to sit with her brothers? Probably. But he couldn’t keep a smile from his face as he tried his best to remember a manners class his mom had enrolled him in one summer during junior high.

“Someday you’ll be glad you learned these things,” the teacher had assured him. He’d never believed it. Until now.

“Wow,” Crystal said from behind him as he put down the last setting. “You’d do Emily Post proud. I’m impressed.”

He chuckled. “Let’s just keep this between us, okay? I don’t want to get a rep with the guys. I can hear it now—the Kitchen Cowboy.”

“Sleeping Beauty has met her match,” she said, laughing.

He turned to follow her back into the kitchen. “Glad you finally admit it.”

“In terms of teasing potential, that is,” she said over her shoulder.

He groaned. “What happens in the dining room stays in the dining room.” Just as the last word left his mouth, he looked into the startled faces of Elyse and Kaleigh.

Crystal burst out laughing and she lowered her voice to a whisper. “Jeremy’s afraid word will get around to the guys that he knows how to set the table.” She put her finger to her lips. “So shh...”

Her sisters nodded. Elyse turned back to putting ice in glasses.

Kaleigh grinned. “Your secret’s safe with us.” She glanced at Elyse then at Crystal. “Ready for me to ring the bell?”

They both nodded and she ran out the back door.

“A bell?” Jeremy’s brows drew together. “For real?”

Before they could answer, a loud ringing filled the air.

“It’s a McCord tradition,” Crystal explained. “The dinner bell tells you that you’ve got five minutes to get in and get your hands washed or you’re going to lose out.”

“Cool.”
Like so many things about this family,
Jeremy thought. He knew most of them were adopted, but the bond between them seemed as strong or stronger than any blood tie he’d ever seen. “You have a neat family,” he said to Crystal as she came to stand beside him.

She beamed up at him. “Thanks. I think so, too.”

Kaleigh slipped in the back door just as the door between the kitchen and living room opened and Luke, Chance, and Matthew walked in.

Crystal scooted closer to Jeremy, and everyone formed a loose circle.

When they were all still, Luke cleared his throat. “Let’s pray.”

They bowed their heads and he blessed the food. At the end, he said, “And, Lord, please be with little Beka”—Jeremy felt Crystal’s hand slip into his and squeeze, and he swallowed against the lump in his throat—“and bring her home to her daddy safe and sound.”

When Luke said, “Amen,” Jeremy sent him a grateful look and nodded. He glanced down at Crystal’s hand still in his. “Thanks,” he whispered and gave her hand a squeeze.

“You’re welcome,” she whispered back, and then she was gone like a whirlwind, giving orders and organizing food lines.

But he could still feel the imprint of her hand in his.

Crystal couldn’t believe it. This was Jeremy’s last official day as her “shadow.” Besides delivering Anastasia’s calf together, last week they’d fixed the fence and counted cows and calves. This week, they’d corralled cows that needed shots and now they were helping Dr. Johnson take care of those same cows. Every task for the past week had been something different. After the second day, she realized Aaron had planned it that way on purpose, giving her a good refresher course in all parts of the ranch.

As much as she’d protested about having Jeremy help her, she hated to admit that she was going to miss him. Not just at work, either. They’d eaten supper together several nights. She couldn’t see that continuing, since he wasn’t going to be working with her anymore.

Jeremy sauntered up and adjusted his cowboy hat. “I think we should leave the cows up tonight just in case any of them have a reaction to the meds.”

She nodded. That was the way her daddy always did it.

He pulled a bandanna from his back pocket and wiped his forehead. “We can let them out in the morning.”

She glanced at him quickly. Had he said
we?

“If it’s okay with you, I thought I’d go ahead and work the rest of this week.” He shifted from foot to foot. “Unless you’d rather I didn’t.”

“That would be great. I mean, if you want to.” Inwardly she groaned. She sounded like a love-struck teenager. Which she definitely wasn’t. She just dreaded facing the house alone again. And Elyse and Luke were both gone so much.

“Elyse has a meeting tonight, doesn’t she?” Jeremy asked, again seeming to read her mind.

“Yes.”

“So you want to run into town and get a bite to eat at Pizza Den? It’s not fair for you to have to cook every night.”

He’d been baching way too long if he thought the simple meals she’d been fixing for them after work were cooking. “Pizza sounds great.”

“I’ll pick you up about seven.”

“It’s a date.” As soon as the words came out, she felt her face flush. She could have talked all day and not said that. “I mean, not really, of course. That’s just an expression...” she finished lamely.

He chuckled. “I know. See you at seven.”

Mortified, she watched him leave then went in to try to figure out what to wear to a meal that was definitely not a date.

In the end, she settled for a plain white T-shirt, a long, flared turquoise skirt, and her turquoise sandals. When she heard Jeremy pull up in the driveway, she threw on the turquoise-accented cowgirl hat she wore in the city when she felt homesick, grabbed a denim jacket, and hurried out the door.

Already out of the truck, he paused and his eyes widened when he saw her. “I didn’t mind coming to the door.”

“I didn’t mind just coming on out to save you the trouble,” she said.

He nodded, as if considering her motive, and walked around to open her door. “You look beautiful.”

A shiver went down her spine, and she hoped he didn’t notice. “Thanks.” She climbed up into the truck and he shut the door. As he walked around to the other side to get in, she gave herself a stern talking-to. She was going back to New York soon. And Aaron had been right. Neither she nor Jeremy needed more heartache. So tonight it was just two friends out for pizza. And that’s all it could be. An impish grin played across her lips. Even if one of the friends did tell the other one that she looked beautiful.

“Whoa, that’s a mischievous grin. What are you thinking about?” Jeremy asked as he started the motor.

Crystal shrugged. “Just how funny life can be.”

“I’m not sure I’m buying that answer, but I’ll let it slide for now.” He motioned toward her hat. “Finally decided you belong here, I see.”

She touched the brim of her hat. “Just thought I’d give New York the night off and go as a cowgirl tonight.”

“It suits you.”

Crystal looked out of the window at the stars. For tonight, he was exactly right. It suited her perfectly.

When the pizza was almost all gone, Crystal grew serious. Jeremy was learning to watch her expressive face for a hint of where their conversations were going, but he was still caught off guard when she leaned forward and said, “Tell me about Lindsey.”

He set his last slice of pizza back on his plate, his appetite gone at the mention of her name. “What do you want to know?”

Crystal’s blue eyes were an odd mix of curiosity, sympathy, and something else he couldn’t define. She sighed. “Everything.”

“We were high school sweethearts.” He hesitated, forcing himself to remember those days. “Her grandfather raised her, and besides him, she had no other family.”

Crystal nodded, and he was struck again by how easy she was to talk to.

“Just out of high school, she got a job at the bank, and I went to the local community college. Her grandfather died and my parents just accepted her as family.” His stomach lurched as he forced himself to remember how his parents had taken her into their home. “When I was about to graduate from the two-year program in agri, we set the wedding date.”

He stared at the orange glow of the light on the wall beside their booth. How much should he tell her? He looked back at her. “Two weeks before the wedding, she left.”

“Left?”

“Left town. Left me. Left me a note, actually, saying that she wanted to see the world, that she was too young to settle down.”

“That had to be awful.”

He nodded. “It was. But my dad pointed out that God has a way of working things out. And even though I never admitted it, I knew that deep down I felt a little relieved. Like maybe I wasn’t ready either.”

“So she let you off the hook?”

He nodded. It sounded simple. And except for Beka, he could wish it had stayed that simple.

“Then how did...” For the first time she looked a little uncomfortable. She dropped her gaze. “I’m sorry. This is really none of my business.”

“I want you to know,” he said. “Some of it’s just not easy to talk about.”

“I understand.”

And he knew she did. Taking a deep breath, he picked up where he’d left off. “She came back about six months later.” His mouth twisted. “She’d changed. Apparently, one of the bank customers had talked her into leaving town with him. But as soon as they got out on the road, he found a new conquest and left her. She found some new friends. That didn’t last long either, though. They kept her strung out on drugs. But then one day she got clean enough to come home.”

“So she wanted you back.”

He nodded. “She said she’d always loved me and it was all a mistake. She wanted to get married right away. When she kept pressing me to hurry and set a new date, I figured out what was really going on.” He pushed the pizza plate away from him. “She was pregnant.”

Crystal put her hand to her mouth. “Oh no.”

“I didn’t have to marry her. But she convinced me that we could get back what we had and the baby would be ours, right from the beginning.” He glanced over at a family of four at the table next to them. The man was cutting up pizza for a toddler in the high chair. “That part was true.” He looked back at Crystal. “Beka was mine from the beginning.”

Crystal nodded. “I can imagine.”

“I was so relieved when she was born with no birth defects from her mother’s drug use. But when Beka was still a baby, Lindsey took off again for two weeks. She came home and went into rehab. When she got out, she said it would never happen again. It didn’t for two years. Then she left and never came back. The last I heard from her was when divorce papers arrived by courier a few months after she left.” His heart tightened. “Until ten months ago. Right after Beka turned five.”

“And Lindsey came back?”

“We’d moved here since the last time I saw her. But thanks to the wonders of the Internet, she found us. She showed up, clear-eyed and sorry, wanting nothing more than to be my wife and Beka’s mother.” He could hear the bitterness in his voice. He took a deep breath and spoke more quietly. “And to help me spend the money we got from selling the gas rights on my family’s land.”

“Oh, Jeremy.”

“I made it plain that I had no romantic interest in her, but I offered to help her find a job and an apartment. And to figure out a way that she might fit into our little girl’s life.”

“But instead she took her?” Tears sparkled in Crystal’s eyes.

Anger clenched the muscle in his jaw. “Beka was at a birthday party when I told Lindsey that we had no hope for a future together. Lindsey picked her up early. And just kept going.”

“You must hate her.”

He stared at the family next to them again. “I try not to. The first six months I spent just trying not to lose my mind. The past six months I’ve worked to keep from losing my relationship with God. Logically, I know hate has no place in that relationship. So some days I think I can forgive her.” He watched the dad hold a sippy cup up to the toddler’s mouth. “And other days, I’m sure I can’t. But I have to keep trying.” He glanced back at Crystal. “Because if I lose Him, what’s left?”

Crystal bent down and picked her napkin up and set it on the table. “Morning’s going to come early.”

They left the pizza place without talking much more.

Halfway home, he glanced over at her. “Sorry for being such a downer.”

She took her hat off and shook her hair out, then ran her fingers through it. “I’m the one who asked. But I’m not sorry. I think it’s incredible how you’ve gone on.”

He snorted. “What choice did I have? I’m not a noble man, Crystal. I’m just a guy trying to deal with what life’s handed him. No different than you dealing with your own tragedy and going on. It’s what you do.”

She looked away from him and shrugged. “Some people deal better than others.”

“Hey, you’re doing fine.” He drove up in front of the ranch house. “You’re not sleeping on the porch anymore, right?”

Just as he’d hoped she would, she smiled. “No, I’m camping out on the couch now, so no more scary early morning discoveries for Slim.”

“Then that’s progress.” He jumped out and ran around to her door and opened it.

“Emily Post really did teach you well,” she teased as she climbed out.

As they walked up to the porch, their hands touched, and the next thing he knew they were walking hand in hand.

The third step squeaked as he stepped onto it, and Crystal giggled. “When we were teenagers, we’d come home from a date and Daddy would listen for that step to squeak. After that, he’d say we had one minute. Then the porch light would come on.”

“One minute, huh?” he said, his voice husky as he held her hand and looked into her huge eyes. Her hair was spun gold in the moonlight. He pulled her gently closer and with his free thumb, he brushed a few strands of hair away from her face. “Does this count as a date?” he whispered just loud enough to be heard above the crickets’ song.

A mischievous grin played across her face. “You tell me,” she said softly.

He leaned toward her and barely brushed his lips across hers.

What was it about being with her that felt like he was coming home to his favorite place? “Yes, I’d say it more than qualifies,” he murmured, his face still close to hers.

The sound of a truck motor broke through the cricket symphony, and headlights shone across the porch. They both turned toward the light. He squinted. “Is that Luke?”

“Yep,” Crystal said wryly, releasing his hand. “Perfect timing, as usual.”

The truck honked and went on by to the barn.

Jeremy turned back to Crystal, but she was unlocking the front door. “Thanks again for the pizza,” she said, a little formally, he thought.

“I had a good time.”

She looked back over her shoulder. “Me, too. See you in the morning.”

And with that, she was gone inside. He heard the lock turn behind her.

He stood on the porch for a few seconds, wondering why he hadn’t kissed her properly before they were interrupted. It was probably just as well. But he couldn’t deny that he was disappointed.