The Rancher's Twin Troubles (16 page)

“I agree.” Josie scooted away from him and off the bed, in the process, treating him to a magnificent view. Her belly was just starting to curve outward and the sight never failed to stir him both on an emotional level and a little further down. “But lately, she's backsliding.”

“Agreed. I promise, I'll talk to her. But you need to give her time. She's a kid. Don't rug rats need extra space to adjust to big life changes?”

In the bathroom, she turned on the shower.

“Want me to get in with you?”

When she didn't answer, Dallas took it as a bad sign.

Resting his hands behind his head, it dawned on him that if kid angst was the toughest hurdle they'd have to face, they'd be lucky. Five minutes passed. With the water turned off and Josie standing on the bath mat, wearing nothing but water drops, he asked, “How's the house packing going?”

“So-so.” Was it wrong of him that he loved watching her pull on silky panties almost as much as watching her take them off? “I went ahead and called the Realtor you recommended. The asking price she suggested was more than I'd expected in this market.”

“That's good.” Holding out his arms, he said, “Come here so I can kiss the baby.”

She indulged him, but didn't look happy about it. “I think the baby's had enough attention. Remember how we're supposed to be planning a menu and looking through bridal magazines for floral ideas?”

Wearing nothing but a hopeful smile, Dallas patted the empty space on the bed next to him. “By now you should know I do my best work between the sheets.”

 

T
UESDAY AFTERNOON,
J
OSIE WAITED
in front of the school with the twins for their father. They were all going to taste wedding cake samples and then make their final selection. She and Dallas hoped that by including the girls in every aspect of the festivities that they might be more accepting of the change still to come. Alas, so far, their plan hadn't worked.

“I'm hungry,” Betsy complained.

“I'm cold.” Bonnie wriggled in an attempt to look as if she were shivering.

“Your dad will be here soon,” Josie said to Bonnie, hugging her for added warmth.

As if Josie had the dreaded cooties, Bonnie lurched away.

To Betsy, Josie said, “You'll be eating lots of cake in only a few minutes.”

“That's too long. I'm going to starve half to death.”

“Yeah,” Bonnie said, “Betsy's gonna starve and it's gonna be all you and your baby's big, fat fault.”

The force of the girl's anger struck Josie like a punch. How long were the twins going to keep this up?

Thankfully, Josie's parental back-up finally arrived.

“Daddy!” All smiles, Betsy and Bonnie ran to the truck.

At a more sedate pace that would hopefully allow her to sneak in a few deep, calming breaths, Josie followed.

“Hi,” she said, climbing onto the front seat next to Dallas. Before fastening her seat belt, she leaned over for a kiss.

“Hey, girls,” he said to the backseat crew. “Have a fun day?”

“No,” Bonnie snapped. “I'm hungry and Miss Griffin said I don't get to eat.”

“Daddy,” Betsy said in her best woe-is-me tone, “why does Miss Griffin hate us?”

“Oh, for heaven's sake,” Josie couldn't keep from exclaiming. “You two know how much I love you, but
that doesn't mean I'm not going to do everything in my power to help you grow into responsible and respectful young ladies. Dallas, pull over. We all need to talk.”

“Something going on I'm not aware of?”

“Plenty.” As she filled him in, Dallas's expression grew ever darker.

Parking on the shoulder of the cake lady's dirt road, he turned off the truck, unbuckled his seat belt, then turned around to face the girls. “Out with it. What's the problem? I know you both love Josie. Why are you treating her this way?”

Neither of them said a word.

Josie sucked in a deep breath. “You two don't know this, but I used to have a little girl. Her name was Emma and I loved her so much it hurt.”

“Where is she?” Betsy whispered.

“In heaven,” Josie managed. “I'm not telling you this to make you sad, but to let you know I understand about hurting and being confused and sad and angry all at the same time. I know how much you love your dad, and I promise—” she crossed her heart “—I will never, ever take him from you. All I want is for you two to give me and this new baby a place in your family. It's been a long time since I've had a family and more than anything, I could really use one.”

Bonnie said, “But I'm scared if we give you and that baby our daddy, we won't have one.”

“Yeah.” Betsy nodded.

Dallas sighed. “What do I have to do to prove to you guys that just because Josie and the baby are now going to be part of our lives, that nothing's really going to
change? We'll live in the same house. Go to the same places. Watch the same TV shows. Not only will you still have me and Grandma and Henry and Uncle Cash and Aunt Wren and Robin and Uncle Wyatt to love, but Josie and a new baby brother or sister. No one's taking love away from you, only giving you more.”

“Oh.” Now Bonnie began to cry. Unbuckling her seat belt, she scrambled over the seat to sit on Dallas's lap.

Betsy did the same, only clinging to Josie.

“How great is this?” Dallas asked, rubbing his daughter's back. “Now, you all don't even have to share laps.”

As much as Josie appreciated the current calm, she couldn't help but wonder if this was but their first family storm.

“What a relief that for the moment, anyway, everything's worked out.” Standing on one of the kitchen-table chairs, Natalie took a vase from an upper cabinet. Josie had offered to spring for pizza if Nat helped organize for the big garage sale she was holding that weekend. “Do you think from here on out, the girls will behave?”

“I hope so. I don't blame them for being jarred by all of this. I'm a grown woman and it's still taking me a while to adjust.”

“After the wedding,” Nat said while washing dust from a waffle iron Josie hadn't used in years, “things will get better.”

“From your lips to God's ears.”

After Natalie left, the remaining mess was overwhelming. Knowing the only sane portion of the house was Emma's room, Josie shuffled past boxes and packing wrap and tape to the one place she'd always felt surprisingly strong. As if her daughter watched over her, assuring her,
Everything's going to be all right, Mommy.

For the longest time, Josie sat in her favorite chair,
eyes closed, imagining the feel of Emma on her lap while reading a bedtime story. She'd smelled so good. Like sweet baby curls infused with her favorite strawberry shampoo.

They'd played the little piggy game with her chubby toes. Sang silly songs and tickled and giggled and talked of handsome princes and princesses and happy kingdoms where everyone smiled all the time.

Without realizing it, Josie had begun to cry.

Rather than drying her tears, she wore them as badges of honor. She carefully gathered tissue paper and special-bought plastic bins. One by one, she took tiny dresses from tiny hangers. She smelled them, caressed them, held them to her nose for just one imaginary trace of her little girl's essence. And then she neatly folded them. Wrapped them in pink tissue. Kissing each one before putting it away.

Part of her very much wanted another girl.

Another part feared she couldn't bear it.

 

S
ATURDAY MORNING, THOUGH
the temperature was a chilly fifty, with no wind and plenty of sun, the day promised to be perfect for the liquidation of Josie's former life.

“Where do you want your tables set up?” Dallas asked with forced cheer. Though he had ranch duties to perform, he'd volunteered to come by early to help.

She pointed to either side of her driveway, while across the garage opening, she strung a line from which to hang clothes.

It was only seven in the morning, but already a few
folks with big trucks and, she suspected, flea market booths had stopped by to rummage through items she had yet to set out. With the pending move, she'd taken to parking on the street, using her garage for box storage. She'd finished the painful process of sorting Emma's things and had donated a box of clothes to a nearby town's women and children's shelter. For treasured items such as stuffed animals that held special meaning and Emma's cherished sterling silver tea seat, she'd wrapped them in tissue and placed them in extra-sturdy plastic bins.

Betsy and Bonnie were inside on her sofa, groggily watching cartoons and eating donuts.

With her sweet house nearly empty and the yard sale assembled, Josie sat in a lawn chair and finally allowed the finality of what she was doing to sink in.

“We okay?” Dallas set up a chair next to her.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she admitted, “I'm scared. Most everything I own is out here on the lawn.”

“I can see where it must be upsetting, but—” he took her hands, eased his fingers between hers and raised them to his mouth to kiss “—once you get past this, you'll never look back. We're going to lead a great life.”

Promise?

As the day wore on, so did Josie's exhaustion.

The girls grew bored in the house and they were now pretending to be storekeepers with the crowd.

“This clock thingee's dirt cheap,” Bonnie said to a
woman wearing Coke-bottle glasses and a crooked red wig.

“Thank you, doll,” the woman said, “but I don't need one of those.”

“What do you need?” Betsy asked. “Betcha we got it.”

The shopper patted each girl's head before fishing through a ragged coin purse. “Here you go,” she said, giving them each a penny. “Buy yourself some nice candy.”

The girls looked unsure as to where they'd buy candy that cheap, but thanked the woman anyway. Watching, Josie and Dallas shared a laugh.

The day wore on.

Dallas brought them all sub sandwiches and chips for lunch.

Georgina stopped by and purchased a well-read copy of
Wuthering Heights.
“I loaned mine out years ago and never got it back,” she explained, giving Josie a quarter.

“I wanna quarter,” Bonnie demanded, holding out her hand. “We're making deals.”

“If you want money,” Georgina explained, “you have to sell me something. What do you have that I might be interested in?”

Betsy tugged her grandmother by her hand toward a pile of movies and CDs. “I think you'd
looove
this.” She held one of Hugh's old slasher movies.

“Do you have anything more scary?”

Considering the bloody cover, Betsy was again looking confused.

By day's end, most everything was gone. Josie's furniture and dishes and small appliances. Collectibles that didn't mean all that much and movies she never watched. Electronic gadgets she rarely used.

After the wedding, she'd move into Dallas's room at the ranch. He had promised, however, to clear out more than half of the walk-in closet. He'd also assured her there would be plenty of well-ventilated attic space for Emma's things or anything else she wanted to store. As for her framed pictures and favorite mementos, Josie was given free rein from Georgina to scatter them amongst the rest of the family photos. After all, the ranch was to be her and the baby's home, too.

“Want me to start boxing the rest of this for donation?” Dallas asked after a big yawn.

“Sure.” She gathered the last of the clothes from the line, placing them in a pile. The knot that had held the rope in place was tight, but by standing on a paint can, she managed to work it free.

Stepping behind her, Dallas barked, “Get down from there. What if you fell?”

“See…” Once down, she performed an elegant pirouette. “I'm still in perfect working order.”

Hands on her hips, he knelt to talk to her tummy. “Baby, are you hearing the amount of sass your father has to put up with?”

“Yeah,” she retorted, “and if you don't help me finish so the baby and I can eat, you're really going to feel my wrath.”

“Remind me next time you see Doc that he needs to give you anticranky pills.”

With all of the leftover items boxed and in the back of Dallas's truck, they went inside for the girls, who lounged in front of the TV.

“Ready to eat?” Dallas asked.

“Only if we get ice cream,” Betsy said.

“News flash,” her father announced, “you're going to get what you get and not pitch a fit.”

Bonnie rolled her eyes.

“Go ahead.” With everyone else on the porch, Josie held back. “I'll lock up and close the garage door on my way out.”

Dallas waved acknowledgment.

Kitty sat in the middle of the kitchen floor looking mighty perturbed at the change in scenery. At least his window seat cushion hadn't been sold. He, too, would be making the move to the ranch, but Josie worried he'd spend half of his life under beds and the other half under sofas.

With the space empty, the garage had taken on a lonely feel. Josie told herself she wouldn't get melancholy about selling her home, but that was easier said than done. After pressing the door's button, she made a mad dash to get out, feeling like Indiana Jones easing under just in time.

Only outside did it dawn on her that the garage was too empty. She'd had two plastic tubs filled with Emma's favorite toys, and two more with clothes to be worn by the baby. Had Dallas carried them inside for safekeeping?

She punched in the code for the door to open.

Sure enough, the items weren't where she'd put them.
Trying not to panic, she performed a room-by-room search, but still came up empty-handed.

Running out to the truck, she asked Dallas, “What happened to Emma's things?”

“I never touched them. As far as I know, they're still where you set them.”

“Oh, God.” Hands over her mouth, nausea struck with a vengeance. Racing to the evergreen bushes ringing the porch, up came lunch. The contents of those boxes were all that remained of her precious daughter.

“Relax,” Dallas said, rubbing Josie's shoulders, “they've got to be here somewhere. Stay out here with the girls and I'll look.”

He returned, shaking his head. “Let me call Mom. Maybe she remembers something.”

Throughout the brief conversation, Josie fought for air.

Dallas finally ended the call, only to pull her into a hug. “Honey, I'm so sorry.”

“For what?” she practically shrieked. “What did your mom say?”

Lips pressed into a tight line, he glanced across the yard to his truck, to the two girls chatting up a storm in the backseat. “When you and I were helping that couple who bought your entertainment center, Mom saw Betsy and Bonnie tell a man he could have all four boxes for five dollars. Mom remembers because she made a point of asking the girls if the items were supposed to have even been in the sale.”

“No…” Josie whispered with sorrow stemming from deep in her soul. “Please, no.”

“I'm sorry.” Dallas held her through her tears. “Is there anything I can do to help? Name it. Hell, we'll book a private jet to Paris if that would in any way make up for what the girls have done.”

Chilled and angry and hurting, she snapped, “What I want are my child's belongings to have not been carted away in a yard sale. What I want is for you to ground those two for the rest of their little lives.”

“Josie, I know you're hurting, but the girls didn't mean it. They assumed anything in the garage was fair game to sell. They were trying to help.”

Dallas might have been saying one thing, but all she heard was:
no matter how badly my daughters hurt you, they will always come first.

 

“H
OW DO
I
FORGIVE THEM
?” Josie asked Nat during a commercial break from their favorite reality show. With only two weeks until the wedding, Josie's friend had invited her to live in her guest room now that her house no longer felt like home.

Kitty, still full from his dinner, had curled into a ball in Natalie's scrapbooking box.

Muting the TV, her friend said, “Wish I had an answer for you. For years, I've prayed you'd stop putting so much emotional stock in Em's things. Now, I get the feeling you're mourning her all over again.”

Unable to speak past the knot in her throat, Josie nodded.

“I was so sure marrying Dallas was right. Now, I've never been more uncertain. Even worse, the Realtor
came by school this afternoon with a full-price offer on my house.”

“Why didn't you tell me?” Nat asked. “We should've gone out to celebrate.”

“How can I be happy about a transaction I'm no longer sure I want?” Playing with a throw pillow's fringe, Josie knew Dallas was the one she should be talking to, but how could she when she was having such doubts?

“Worst-case scenario, you move in with me until we find you a new place. But please don't do anything drastic. There's no way Bonnie and Betsy could've known how much the contents of those boxes meant.”

“I know.” Cupping her newly rounded belly, Josie prayed for answers. Why did her dream now feel like a nightmare? As if her life's foundation had been ripped out from under her. “But that does nothing to ease my pain. I feel raw inside.”

“When's the last time you talked to Dallas?”

The teapot whistled on the stove.

“He called while the kids were at morning recess.” Josie headed for Nat's efficiency kitchen to make a cup of orange spice.

“Did you have a good conversation?” Natalie asked beside her, reaching in a cabinet for graham crackers.

“Not really. We ran over a few items for the wedding. That's it.” The tea scalded Josie's tongue. Wasn't it just her luck that while she'd been aiming for something nice and soothing, she'd only wound up more annoyed?

“Want my advice, you—”

“Not really.” Josie forced a grin.

“Ha-ha. Call him. Now. Even if you all just hit the Waffle Hut out by the toll road for a late-night snack, it'll be good for you to talk.”

 

“I
'M GLAD YOU CALLED
,” Dallas said, taking Josie's hands across the Waffle Hut's booth table. “I hated how we left things Saturday.”

“Me, too.” She looked as beautiful as ever, but fragile, with dark circles under her eyes.

“Getting adequate sleep?”

She shook her head. “Too much on my mind. Plus, Nat's guest mattress has more lumps than her disgusting mashed potatoes.”

He winced. “You're welcome to stay in our guest cabin. It's impossible to not get a good night's rest out there.”

“Thank you. I would, but I don't want the girls getting any more confused. I thought our marriage would help them, but I'm afraid it's only going to hurt.”

“Help them with what?” he asked after a waitress took their order. “They've got everything kids could ever want or need. You and I both have been spending more time with them than ever.”

“True.” Her usually bright complexion was sallow. Her tone dull, as if she'd rather be anywhere on earth than out to eat with him. Though her stomach had swelled, the rest of her appeared gaunt.

Leaning forward, he said, “Be straight with me, Josie. Do you still want to get married?”

After a pause, she said, “Of course.” Giving his hands an extra-strong squeeze, she added, “But everything's
changing too fast. First, my body. Now, my house. Emma's things being sold off for practically nothing to a flea-market dealer. I know what happened was an accident, but I can't get past how badly I want my daughter back.” She'd choked on her last words and tears streamed her cheeks. “I'm swimming with nowhere to get out of the water.”