Authors: Angela Marsons
"Get the fuck off me," she cried, trying to wriggle out of the hold.
Dana laughed uproariously.
"You’re going nowhere, bitch so just keep still and enjoy it. We’ve got a long night ahead."
Alex felt the nausea rise in her stomach. The Chinese girl caressed her breast and her hand travelled down. At the same time Dana’s free hand reached down from behind into the back of her panties. Their hands met in the middle and fondled her roughly. Alex felt their hands link as though they were about to hold hands and she knew what was about to happen. Horror and fear coursed through her. She’d heard about it before and the act could cause serious internal damage.
She spat at the Chinese girl in front of her which caused enough of a distraction for her to gather every ounce of strength to rip her arms from Dana’s grip. Dana made a grab for her arm but Alex turned and kicked the hand away. She heard bones crunch as the hand smashed against the wall. Dana was still behind her and the Chinese girl was in front. Alex attempted to dodge around the Chinese girl to get away. For a brief second she thought she had escaped but she felt a strong hand clutching at her hair. She felt herself being pulled backwards against Dana.
"Come here you fucking tease."
Alex struggled to get Dana’s hand out of her hair while being yanked backwards. Her legs grew unsteady beneath her and she fell to the ground, a clutch of hair ripped from her scalp.
Her view from the ground was of legs and feet but she didn’t know which ones belonged to who. The first kick to her eye obscured her vision completely, sending her reeling into a world of blackness. She fought blindly against the blows to her body that rained down like boulders being dropped all over her.
As the punches and kicks continued to dent her body she gave up any attempt at fighting back and accepted the vicious blows to her
flesh.
Alex had no perception of how long the beating continued. All she knew was that different parts of her body were being torn apart slowly and she welcomed the final blow that would end it and give her some peace. Finally the beating stopped and footsteps faded into the distance but the peace never came. Pain wracked her body and blood mixed with the rain and ran in channels all over her. She couldn’t move. She had no wish to move and hoped that the pain would claim her body and guide her to peace.
She heard a flurry of activity at the end of the alley. She stole herself for the tormentors return and tensed her body in anticipation, unable to defend herself in any other way. Someone leaned down and shouted something into her ear but she lost consciousness. She faded in and out as she felt herself being raised on to a stretcher. Her body screamed out in pain but her mouth remained shut. She felt the movement of a vehicle and the distant sound of a siren. Suddenly everything was white, and bright and busy and noisy. She wanted to escape it all and go somewhere better. Her mind had left but her body was refusing to let go.
So many people, prodding her and moving her limbs around, injecting her. She felt drugs surging around her body and a beckoning wave of light waiting to take her somewhere calm.
As she headed towards the brightness she whispered one solitary word.
"Catherine."
Chapter 13 - Catherine
"Get out of the fucking way," Catherine screamed at a transit van. She couldn’t go around it as the traffic lights were on red. She pummelled the steering wheel with her fists, ordering the lights to change. After what seemed like a lifetime they did but Catherine couldn’t resist a quick blast on her horn to the transit van as she overtook it on the dual carriageway.
She pulled into the car park of a grey, concrete building and ignored the countless instructions to pay and display. They could goddamn clamp the car for all she cared. She headed past the smokers outside the entrance and caught the lift to the first floor. She was out of surgery the doctor had said on the phone and in the Nightingale ward.
Catherine found it and headed for the nurse’s station. Two females in differing shades of blue glanced at her disinterestedly.
"Alex Morgan?"
The younger nurse in the light blue uniform stood.
"Doctor Thurlow would like to see you first. If you’d follow me."
The nurse headed out of the ward, frustrating Catherine. She was being taken further away from her sister.
"He’s just in here," she said, knocking on the door of a room in the corridor that she’d just passed.
A gruff voice instructed her to enter. She found an elderly man with a mass of grey hair and a beard. He smiled with kindly eyes.
"You must be Alex's Morgan's sister?
"I’d like to see her," Catherine said, remaining by the door.
He nodded his understanding.
"I won’t keep you long but you need to be prepared for what you’re about to see."
"I understand that she’s been badly beaten," Catherine answered, wishing the doctor would just take her to Alex.
"That she has. You must prepare yourself for a shock. She has seven broken bones including one in her face. She’s bruised and swollen all over and she has sustained injury to her kidneys. She has stitches across her forehead and her left eyelid won't open. It’s not a pretty sight."
"Is she going to be alright?" Catherine asked, fear pounding at her heart.
"She should be okay as long as she allows her body to recover from the trauma. Another twenty minutes in that alleyway and this would be a completely different conversation."
"I just want to see her."
"I understand that, but there’s one other thing."
Catherine closed her eyes. What else could there possibly be?
"Your sister hasn’t uttered a word since she whispered your name. We know that she’s conscious, occasionally she opens her one eye, but so far she's refused to speak to anyone."
"Why would that be?"
The Doctor shrugged.
"It could be the shock of what’s happened but I sense that your sister is retreating into herself. It’s not uncommon for victims of this type of attack to withdraw as they find some sort of safe place during the incident itself and find it difficult to return."
"Will she be okay?" Catherine asked for the second time.
"In most cases, victims are back with us within a couple of days but if it goes on much longer, well…"
"What?"
"Let’s just say that they begin to feel more comfortable where they are and are loathe to leave that place of safety."
Catherine nodded her understanding.
"May I see her now?"
"I’ll take you to her."
Catherine followed the Doctor to a side ward with the blinds closed.
"Not too long," he said as he opened the door for her to enter.
Catherine stepped into the room and almost cried out loud. The only part of Alex that was visible was her head but that was enough. The swollen lump of flesh barely looked like a head at all. Her left eye was completely lost beneath the swelling, her flesh was rising to the colour of beetroot with a shade of cranberry thrown in. A track of stitches ran across her forehead.
"Oh, Jesus," Catherine whispered, taking steps towards the bed.
The form offered no movement and Catherine was pleased that Alex could not witness the horror on her face.
She moved closer until she was standing at the head of the bed.
"Alex, it's Catherine. I'm here."
There was no response.
Catherine ached to hold her sister close. To put her arms around her and form a barrier against the world. She wanted to protect her from whatever it was that had led her to this but Catherine knew she could not protect Alex from herself.
"I'm here, sweetheart," Catherine said, fighting back the tears. Without the acidic tongue and hardened expression her sister looked exactly what she was; lost and alone.
It had always been the same. Alex the rebel. Alex the mouthy one. Alex the tough kid. Alex, the youngest who had probably needed their mother the most.
And Catherine had always known that, had always tried to protect her fragile heart from the pain.
Catherine gently touched the top of her head, wishing to make contact with an inch that wasn't painful. She stroked gently at the coarsely cut hair.
The tears spilled from her eyes and Catherine made no attempt to stop them. "I'm so sorry, Alex. So very sorry."
Catherine wasn't sure what she was apologising for. All she knew was that she felt sorry to the depths of her heart for this battered, broken soul.
She moved closer and held her sister close. Bitter, frightened tears ran over her cheeks and onto her sister’s head. She stroked Alex’s hair gently.
"I’ll never leave you again, I swear."
***
Half an hour later Catherine’s head rested on the steering wheel of her car. The tears fell unashamedly and in those moments she knew hatred that she had never felt before. The fire consumed her whole being.
Their mother had done this to Alex. If Catherine knew nothing else then she knew that. Their mother’s cruelty had damaged them all and only she was responsible for the condition in which Alex now lay in a hospital bed. She was loathe to drive away, wishing she could return to Alex’s side but the Ward Sister had made it clear that Alex needed her rest and that she had visited for long enough.
Catherine took deep breaths to stem the emotions raging through her. She wanted revenge. She wanted her mother before her now. For the first time in her life Catherine felt capable of murder.
She fought the tears away, pushing the image of Alex’s battered body to the back of her mind. She needed to talk to someone and there was only one person who could help. She reached for her mobile phone and rang the number on the card in her purse.
The call transferred to an answering machine and a wave of hopelessness settled around her. Never had she felt so alone.
"Emily, it’s Catherine Richards. If you’re there please pick up. I need to talk to someone. I think I’m going mad. My sister has been beaten to within an inch of her life and…"
"Catherine?" Emily’s voice was warm and concerned and a relief to Catherine as the darkness stole around her stationery car.
"Please help me. It’s all falling apart. I don’t know what to do."
Silence met her ears.
"Please," she whispered in desperation. She could understand the woman's reticence. It was almost ten at night.
"Okay, you know where I am."
Catherine almost cried with relief.
"Thank you, thank..."
"And, Catherine, drive carefully."
Catherine ended the call.
She left the city centre with Emily's words ringing in her ears. The winding country lanes were filled with visions of her sister lying silent and hurting on a hospital bed.
The car lurched forward each time as anger reached into every cell of her being. She clenched the steering wheel hard, afraid of the intensity of her emotions.
Relief flooded her body as she pulled up outside the house of the therapist but she was dismayed when she realised that she could barely recall the journey.
Emily had the door open before she'd left the confines of the car.
"I’m sorry for calling you so late," Catherine said. "But I just didn’t know who else I could talk to."
Emily waved away her apology and guided her past the closed door of the office. Beyond a heavy wooden door was a kitchen fashioned of light pine wood and glass panels displaying the kitchen wares. Illumination was provided by lights that shone from beneath the cabinets. Two football mugs steamed from a small wicker table.
Catherine instantly began to relax..
"Don’t worry. I was watching a re-run of Frost on my own. So what’s happened?"
Catherine told her about the phone call from the hospital and described Alex in detail. Her voice cracked and salty tears stung her red-raw eyelids.
The woman looked horrified and paused for a moment when Catherine finished.
"I'm sorry for your sister, Catherine, but what can I do for you? You never came back after I told you we had a lot of work to do. Did it scare you?"
Catherine weighed the question and answered honestly.
"Partly, but to be honest I thought you were wrong."
"So how’s the family?"
"It’s fallen apart," Catherine admitted. There was no point holding anything back or even trying to lie to Emily. She had asked for the woman's help and truth was the only thing she had to offer.
Emily nodded.
"That must be hard for you but it’s not the most pressing point at this time of night, is it?"
Catherine wasn’t sure what prompted her to recount every detail she could remember of her childhood but once she started she couldn't stop. It was like a vacuum storage bag. Once released everything fell out.
She told Emily about the cruelty and the beatings and the fear and the hunger and the pain and every other negative emotion that had formed her childhood years. Finally, she sat back, exhausted.
"Jeez, I can see no good reason why you’d have problems later in life at all."
"Hardly The Cosby’s is it?"
"Catherine, you have to understand that you’ve just given me enough material to work through for the next few years and that’s before we even start on your current family situation. Every single thing you’ve just told me has gone some way to shaping the person you are today. It’s going to be a long process to unearth and face a lot of your feelings but if you want to work through it you have to commit to letting me help you."
"Can you help us all?" Catherine asked, weakly.
"I can try but first you have to understand a few things. Although you remember the events of your childhood you recite them with the cool detachment of a disinterested onlooker.
"You’ve done this to guard yourself from the pain but during the healing process that will change and you will see yourself in those situations and you’re going to feel a lot of painful emotion. You’ll want revenge and I can’t give it to you. You’ll want cast-iron understanding of why it happened and I can’t necessarily give that to you either but eventually there will be real acceptance and a positive way that you can move forward. I’m not going to lie to you, anything more is a bonus. We can talk generally about your sisters but unless they come to me for help my priority is in helping you."
Catherine thought for a moment and nodded her head. She understood what Emily was telling her. She understood that she wasn’t going to wake up one morning having dreamt her childhood. It was always going to be part of her but maybe she could learn to live with it. She only knew that she had to get help and she had to get help for all of them.
"You said we could talk generally about my sisters?"
"We can, but my focus has to be on you."
"The middle sister, Beth, doesn’t remember anything. She suffered the most horrific injury of us all yet she still talks of our mother fondly."
"From what you’ve said Beth never got the chance to leave home. You were forced out and your youngest sister ran away as soon as she could leaving Beth at home with your mother. It sounds as though she’s in complete denial because she had to make her own situation as acceptable as she could. Did you say your mother was ill shortly after Alex left?"