The Blaze Ignites (44 page)

My heart leapt up into my throat. Did I hear
her right? “Wait a second. Are you telling me that the White
Warrior, the creation of the Light Gods, doesn’t trust her own
creators? She doesn’t trust the very force of Goodness?”

“Can you blame her?”

“Absolutely!” I cried, feeling damn near
panicked. “The Warrior of Goodness doesn’t trust the
existence
of Goodness—The Light Gods? That’s terrifying!
Looks like the White Warrior has some issues of her own to work
out! Maybe it’s not
all
Azrel’s fault that they haven’t
become one yet.”

“Look what they did to her!” Acalith cried
defensively. I covered my face with both my hands, unable to
believe I was hearing this. “What is she supposed to do? Blindly
trust the ones that took everything from her?”

“Yes!” I practically screamed, looking up at
her. She blanched. “That’s what
faith
is!”

“What do you mean?” Acalith asked.

“She needs to believe and
trust
that
The Light Gods had bigger concerns than
her
ego—that they
had valid reasons to take away her power! That it was for the
greater good.”

“How could it have been? A Second Shadow is
coming. Maybe if they’d kept Azrel’s father as the White
Warrior—”

“We may not have had the three thousand years
of peace we’ve had,” I interrupted. Acalith’s eyes went wide. “What
if Azrel’s father had stayed the White Warrior and failed?” Her
eyes went a little wider, as if she’d never considered the
possibility. “We are not the Light Gods. How can we presume to
understand Their power or Their reasons for the things They do? We
can’t. Faith
is
trusting blindly.”

Acalith swallowed heavily and couldn’t meet
my eyes for a moment. When she looked back at me it was with a hint
of curiosity. “I guess both the White Warrior and I need to work on
our faith a little bit.”

I shook my head boldly. “Not a little bit. A
lot!”

Acalith surprised me by chuckling a little
before she sighed and started walking towards me. “So why did your
sister scare the wits out of me by jumping off that branch into the
throng of creatures?”

I grinned and fell into step beside her as we
headed back towards the others. “Some fearless Deralilya you are,”
I teased.

“Hey, when it comes to possibly failing at my
job, I’m terrified.”

I smiled for a moment, then looked at her
seriously. “I hate to say it, Acalith, but you’re going to have to
get over that. I know my sister and she is not going to tolerate
you babysitting her. She’s going to do as she pleases, when she
pleases and how she pleases. She’s got a will of her own and it’s a
strong one. She’s going to do a lot of things, like jumping off a
branch and falling fifty feet into a throng of a thousand beasts,
without checking with you first. Things that will make you think
you’ve failed at your job. All you can do with my sister is protect
her when she clearly needs it, or when she tells you to.”

Acalith smiled at me again. “Thank you for
the advice.” She sighed. “I guess I have a lot to learn still.”

“What?” I teased, “Was that…
humility
I
just heard come out of you?”

She grinned, then rolled her eyes and gave me
a small shove on my shoulder. “The ambush?” Grinning, I filled her
in on the details of the ambush and how it came about. Her face
took on a look of severe concern and she rubbed her upper arms as
if she’d just gotten a chill. “Azrel’s magic actually left her?” I
nodded. “That is a terrifying thought.”

“Tell me about it. But it’s happened before.”
I proceeded to tell her about the visits Ortheldo and I had
received from the White Warrior outside Azrel’s body.

Acalith rubbed her upper arms again. “I don’t
know why, but that makes me terribly uncomfortable.”

“Me too, but Azrel has made it clear that the
White Warrior can’t survive long outside of her.”

“Well that’s good. I don’t know, just the
thought of Azrel being separated from her power…” She shivered
again, which was all she needed to say.

I nodded. “I agree.”

We walked silently for a while. Shafts of
sunlight shone down through the trees, illuminating the golden
leaves in this soft airy land. I took a deep breath through my
nose, smelling the fresh clean air. I was really looking forward to
seeing Galad Kas. This land was the closest thing Azrel had to a
home outside of the cave in which she’d grown up with Ortheldo and
her father.

The cave. I found myself strangely pondering
that place. It was a huge part of who my sister was, where she came
from. More so, it was where her father, the first White Warrior,
was buried. He’d been the White Warrior that had singlehandedly
pulled the world out of the depths of Shadow. What a great man he
must have been. I would love to go and pay my respects someday and
see where Azrel grew up, perhaps get a sense of who she’d been
before she came to The Pitt and gotten destroyed. I would love to
see where she and Ortheldo grew up together.

“How come you got so quiet all the sudden?”
Acalith asked.

I jumped as her voice shocked me out of
thought. “Just thinking about how much Galad Kas means to Azrel.
It’s like a second home to her, apart from the cave she grew up in.
I was thinking I’d like to visit that cave someday, pay my respects
to The First White Warrior.”

“Do you want to go now?”

I looked at her confused, “How’s that?”

She smiled and then vanished before my eyes.
Of course! I’d forgotten she had the ability to travel
instantaneously. She’d stayed with us so long lately that it had
slipped my mind.

She appeared again a moment later. “We can go
now if you’d like.”

I actually threw my head back and laughed.
“Well thank you, but I’ll wait for another time. Right now there is
something unsettled between my sister and Ortheldo that needs
settling.”

“What’s unsettled?”

I sighed and pondered her for a second,
debating if I wanted to take this conversation any further with
her. Well, why not? She was a woman. Maybe she would understand.
“They love each other very much. I know they do, but something is
keeping them from expressing it to each other. They’re always on
the defensive when the topic of love comes up.”

Acalith smiled at me. “Do you often play
matchmaker, Rabryn?”

I knew she meant it in a harmless, playful
way but I didn’t smile. “No, I just know Ortheldo can make her
happy, and she hasn’t been happy in a really long time.” The Light
Gods knew I was telling the truth about that.

“Your sister means a lot to you, doesn’t
she?” I nodded and Acalith suddenly bowed her head. “She’s lucky to
have a brother like you.”

There was my opening! There was my opening to
get to know her. My heart started pounding, but I didn’t want to
seem too eager. I shrugged, keeping my eyes on the ground. “Do you
have any siblings?”

She shook her head. “So how are you planning
to settle this matter between Ortheldo and Azrel?”

And poof! There went my opening.

I shrugged. “I’m not sure. Talk to them? Tell
them to talk to each other?”

She sighed heavily. “Men! You have no sense
of romance.”

One of my eyebrows went up. “Sorry?”

She grinned. “Just listen to me.”

Azrel

“Relax please. You’re making me nervous,”
Isadith whispered as I glanced over my shoulder for the hundredth
time, looking for Rabryn.

I smirked at her. “Nothing makes you
nervous.”

She nodded. “That is true. I just thought it
sounded more polite than saying you’re annoying me.” I threw my
head back and laughed. She smiled at me. “Your brother is safe in
our woods now, so stop it.”

I nodded. “Okay.” I glanced over my shoulder
once again without thinking about it. Isadith’s annoyed sigh made
me quickly look at her and blush. “Oops.” We smiled at each
other.

Suddenly the trees ended and I stopped in my
tracks in horror. Immediately I felt my insides start to shake and
tremble. My legs quickly followed suit.

The lake.

Water.

Deep
water!

The Ambuel! The Vec fish! The cold! The Pain!
The inability to breathe! The helplessness! I was suddenly reliving
my fall into the Ambuel River nine years earlier!

I started sweating and panting. What if I
missed the bridge? It was an
invisible
bridge! What if I
fell into the water? What if I fell in again!

“Azrel? Azrel?”

Someone was saying my name but he sounded
incredibly far away and all I could pay attention to were my horrid
memories of my fall into the Ambuel River. I couldn’t do it! I
couldn’t cross. I
wouldn’t!
I squeezed my eyes tightly. I
couldn’t even look at the water. I wouldn’t go. They couldn’t make
me! The last time I crossed it Lomindril, Beldorn’s horse, was
under me. I couldn’t walk across on an invisible bridge over
water!

Someone took my hands and tried to ease me
forward. I screamed and snatched my hands out of his grip, shaking
them as if bugs had just infested my skin and I was trying to get
them off. I backed away, unable to open my eyes. I couldn’t look at
the lake. I couldn’t go.

“Come on. I’ll help you.” Ortheldo’s voice
sounded softer than a whisper in a cave. My pounding heart was all
I could hear clearly.

“I can’t. I can’t,” I half whispered, half
squeaked as I choked back my screams of terror.

“Azrel, I’ll carry you. Just hold on to
me.”

I felt his hand rest on my lower back. I
frantically batted it away and backed up more, holding my hands out
in front of me defensively as if he was going to strike me. “Don’t
touch me,” I pleaded in a pathetic whisper. “Please don’t touch
me.”

“Azrel, you don’t have to open your eyes. I
won’t let you get hurt. You can trust me. Please trust me.”

I didn’t have to open my eyes. Maybe I could
do it if I didn’t have to see it.

His hands gently took hold of mine again.
“Trust me,” he said softly.

I swallowed and nodded slowly, then swallowed
again. “Please don’t let me fall,” I squeaked, almost in tears, my
pride completely obliterated at the sight of the thing I feared
more than anything in the world.

“I won’t.”

I felt one arm slip behind my thighs and the
other wrap around my back. He slowly lifted me off my feet. I
wrapped both my arms around his neck, nearly choking him, as if he
meant to throw me directly in the water, and I planned to take him
with me if he succeeded.

“She’s shaking like a leaf,” he said softly.
“No no, don’t touch her. Just lead the way.”

After a moment he started walking. I wrapped
my arms tighter around his neck and buried my face into the side of
it.
He had me. He had me. He had me
, I had to keep telling
myself.
He wouldn’t hurt me. He wouldn’t let me fall.

Even so, I waited anxiously for the wet
plunge into the lake. I wondered if we were on the bridge yet. I
wondered if I was going to take him down with me and kill him if we
fell in. I wondered how long it took someone to die underwater.

“Stop thinking like that,” he said softly as
he pressed his head gently against mine in comfort.

I wanted to respond but was too terrified to
speak. I didn’t want to take his attention off where he was
walking. We had to be over the water by then. I held on to him
tighter still. How much farther? How much farther was land? Safe,
solid wonderful land. I wanted this bridge behind me. I wanted to
stand firmly on ground.

I wanted to stay in Ortheldo’s arms like this
forever.

“It’s okay now,” he whispered to me. “We’re
on the other side.”

“Could you please walk someplace where I
don’t have to see the water?” I swallowed hard. “So I can calm
down?”

“Of course I will,” he said, and kept
walking.

“Your quarters will be this way,” Isadith
said in a soft, concerned voice.

“Thank you,” Ortheldo replied.

I probably could have walked myself, but I
didn’t want him to let me go. His arms made me feel so safe every
time they were around me. Nothing bad in the world could touch me
if Ortheldo was holding me.

I slowly made myself relax as we continued
walking. I rested my head on his shoulder and let myself uncoil a
little bit. Finally I opened my eyes and saw his gorgeous
periwinkle eyes already looking at me.

He smiled gently. “Welcome back.”

I looked around for any sign of the lake, but
there were only trees surrounding me.

“You will rest here,” Isadith said. I looked
at her and saw the severe concern on her face. “I have to rejoin my
father and help bury our dead. I will check in with you later.”
With a soft smile she walked away.

I looked back at Ortheldo’s handsome face and
felt a pang of shame and embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” I said as he
gently lowered me to my feet. “I didn’t mean to act so childish and
make you do that for me.”

“Azrel, I don’t mind. I know you fear water.
I was there the day that fear was established, remember? And you
didn’t
make
me carry you. I offered.”

“Still, I’m sorry,” I said looking down at
the ground. “Thank you for doing that, though.”

He sighed in frustration. “Don’t mention it,”
he replied shortly, then shocked me by storming away and not
looking back.

I stared after him and suddenly felt very
cold without him near me. I watched the trees swallow him up and
wondered where he was going and why he was so upset. My heart ached
for him when I couldn’t see him anymore.

I wondered if I would ever be able to tell
him how much he meant to me. Probably not. He’d kept things from
me, things my father,
my
father, trusted him to know but not
me. Secrets. Ortheldo had known about the Deralilya. He’d known
that my father hadn’t run from battle but had been taken from
battle by the Light Gods. He’d known that my and Rabryn’s fathers
had once been great companions. Who knew what other secrets my
father had entrusted him with that he was keeping from me still?
Since I couldn’t trust Ortheldo with these things, how could I
trust him with how I felt about him?