The Alpha's Desire 5 (8 page)

Again, I willed them to walk away, the force of my brain stirring up the magic inside of me until I felt I’d burst into a hot ball of light. I wanted no more violence, and continued to try to think of a magical way to make that happen as I waited. What else had I to do than spin my wheels in what seemed a fruitless endeavor? If only I had mind control, I’d have told them exactly what to do.

Even if they had not been outnumbered at the moment, which they still were, I just couldn’t take any more violence, not tonight, maybe not ever. Good or bad being a subjective thing, in the eyes of the beholder and all, two sides to every story, I didn’t want another soul to be extinguished tonight. As my powers increased, making me actually sweat, I feared just a mere growl may throw me over the edge at this point. I was wound that tight.

Selfish or not I needed a minute or two or five to lick my wounds. I needed to be carried off into the sunset by Lex to spend night after night in his arms and day upon day just talking or sitting side-by-side in silence. Fighting with the true werewolf needed to be over. It really did. Yet, to the demise of what lingered of my sanity and my patience, the wolf that appeared to be the new alpha standing over Daniel still had his head lifted to the sky. He apparently had all the time in the world.

I waited for him to howl, assumed everyone did, and yet no sound came. Instead the woods continued to be eerily quiet. Even the wind hadn’t blown in a matter of minutes. I believed I could actually hear the ticking of time passing, but in reality it was my pulse, racing like I’d run a marathon, or one block, which was about all I could do in human form. If this was some sort of calm before a storm, I believed I’d lose my mind. Seeing through Josh’s eyes it looked as if the world stood completely still, like my wishful, magical thinking had paused it, given all of nature time to mourn Daniel.

A fresh wave of guilt seized me. This too, this moment of horrific waiting, I’d caused. Suddenly the scent of death, more than blood, but a putrid rotting, a mix of a trash truck driving by and roadkill baked by the sun, lingered all around me. The air itself trembled with electricity. Even as the image of what Josh saw at the cabin greyed, went fuzzy, I wished to pass out, to be lost to this moment in time. Escape. It was all I could think of. I needed to get away from even myself. Maybe I could spell myself to sleep once tonight was over.

Finally though, the wolf by Daniel took a step forward, tentatively, as if testing out the land beneath him. After putting one paw in front of the other that way, he then merely sauntered, if a wolf could do that, back into the woods. The rest of the pack soon followed suit, moving slowly into a single file line that made them each disappear into the dark patch of trees. The night literally swallowed them up until just one last tail could be seen at the tree line.

This one paused. If legend held he would be the weakest of the pack, the one who followed, always took last place. So, strangely, he stopped to look over his shoulder at the Royal werewolves and vampires around the cabin. His head moved slowly as he scanned this crowd, finally ending looking at Daniel as not one of the others had done before turning back into the woods and simply walking away. The fact that they had turned their backs on those that they had seen as enemies just minutes before also puzzled me. They couldn’t have felt threatened to do so, and I’d no idea why. Had it been a sign of surrender, a waving of the proverbial white flag by showing your enemies your tail?

I wanted to know what was going through their heads, as much as I wanted someone to tell them of the help the Royals could offer them, to possibly break their curse. It would have to come at another time though. For now, for tonight, it was over. Right now, I forced myself to grow grateful for that fact alone, as I walked to the waiting line of vehicles. When I caught my reflection in the window of the SUV I noticed the squint of my eyes and the pursing of my lips that remained even as I rubbed my sore neck. The violent way my wolf had shook hers, the sound of Daniel’s snapping, made my suddenly rapid again breathing shallow.

I touched the image of myself, my fingers outstretched over the window. The comfort I sought though didn’t come with my frail attempt at it. My heart still hammered in my chest, as if it pounded away at the guilt, trying to crush it all to dust. Knowing my distress, as he would, Lex pried my fingers from the glass, taking them in his own, rubbing them until they relaxed in his before opening the door and helping me into the vehicle.

We could now return to the safe house and regroup. This stood out as my only source of hope to hold onto at the moment. By the time each of the groups had returned to the vehicles and had gotten in not a person spoke. I doubted they mourned Daniel, yet no one celebrated either. I figured that like me there was no reason to rejoice in a death even in victory. Though in a way, from this group, the silence had a strange feel to it, unnerving me even more if that were even possible at this point.

By the time we were situated, buckled in, and the SUV had begun to move, Lex leaned over and whispered into my ear, “You did great out there tonight, baby.”

There were a few grumbles of acknowledgement and agreement, but after that no one spoke again until we arrived where we parked the SUVs behind the safe house.

Chapter Eight

After again following the detailed plan it took to get us out of the vehicles and safely into the house without anyone in the neighborhood seeing a large group of people entering a residence all at once, we all settled around the living room. Walls with chipping paint or not, I didn’t need the elaborate trappings of the old loft or even a castle right now. Nothing like that mattered. What I needed from the people around me was for everyone to tell me what I had done was okay. As always, when I couldn’t find it in myself to justify my actions, I relied on others. Well, I’d always relied on Chloe. Who didn’t need at one time or another that person in their lives, the one that saw the best in them even when they couldn’t?

As each of them lingered about and settled in, many had tapped me on the shoulder giving me smiles. Some had even offered me congratulations and thanks, telling me I had done well. I smiled and answered gracefully, sucking it up as I did my best to act the part of being excited about it too, while inside there remained an empty hole outside of which my emotions remained unsettled.

It dawned on me, the way that most were acting, thanking me and congratulating me while still tight lipped, obviously uncomfortable, that each of them were to some degree reading my emotions and were probably unsure of what they should say. This realization brought tears to my eyes. I loved this group and they loved me enough to hide their own true emotions out of concern for mine. That made sense, and a large weight lifted. Many of them probably knew exactly what I was going through, what a first kill as a paranormal creature meant to their human side.

I didn’t know how I would ever come to reconcile the differences between my wolf and my human. Not that my wolf was mean, but animal instinct had taken over as well as revenge in my human mind, a need there to right a wrong which had only inspired and encouraged my wolf to follow through with what needed to be done. That was what I had to hold onto, what thought I knew would eventually get my through this. Again, this was Daniel’s fault. He’d left the group no choice but to kill him to stop him.

Damn him
, I thought, continuing to curse the man even after his death for the ways he’d damaged my life, changed who I was forever.
You horrible monster. You couldn’t just ask for help! You couldn’t stop! You couldn’t not hate! You brought on all of this violence! This blood is on your hands! Even your OWN!

I’d screamed so loudly in my head that my ears buzzed after, the vein at my temple constricting, bringing on pain, messing with my vision. This was true insanity. I knew that and that fact only. I actually feared losing my mind. Looking around me, I truly expected to see a man waiting for me with an outstretched straight jacket.

When Nira came back into the room with a few bottles of wine, and the vampires behind her with plastic wine glasses to pass out, a celebration of sorts did break out. Low key of course, as no one knew what Daniel’s pack would do next. Anything could happen, but tonight, our battle had ended. The fact their leader was gone, and the other true werewolves had walked away brought reason to rejoice. We all needed the triumph to hold onto until we knew what was next.

While the emotions grew in the room to happy, to feeling safe for the moment, I felt them but didn’t truly catch them myself. All I could think about, the thoughts that truly lingered about in my brain, was that more of Daniel’s wolves were out there. Nira had said there were at least twenty wolves with Daniel now but only twelve had been with him tonight. I feared when the pack got back together that they may want revenge for Daniel’s death once they could talk among themselves, let the surely heated emotions of their loss take over.

All I wanted was for the battle to be over and to get on with my life, to deal with what I’d done and to somehow find that happily ever after still, even if it remained an elusive thought. Still, a girl could dream, sometimes had to in order to get through the present. But tonight, right now, my focus had to remain on needing to act my part, to celebrate, and then fall into a deep sleep even if it was in my room on a mattress on the floor with several other people in there as well. At least Lex would be one of them. He hadn’t left my side since Daniel. His concern comforted me, gave me the strength I needed to carry on, or to begin to at least. Without him, I wouldn’t have still been sitting up straight resembling a human being with a brain; I’d have crumpled into a pile of blubbering goo. Thank the gods for Lex, even I didn’t want to bear witness to that.

I glanced around the room at all the people chatting and having a good time together. As the dry wine burned my throat, insulted my taste buds, the fact that they were all vampires and werewolves showed that the movies lie.
In that fact alone I found some sweetness. Books and TV liked to show that these two groups were mortal enemies of each other and of humans, but that could not be farther from the truth. Any group with an open mind can work together as shown tonight. These vampires helped everyone regardless except those who hurt others. I hoped seeing us would be a message to true werewolves, that they all could work together once we found a way to approach them with the Royal’s proposition to try to help them alleviate their curse.

As if to prove my point, that all could find common ground regardless of who they were, I saw Josh and Nira getting along pretty well in the corner. I watched as my vampire friend laughed while brushing a patch of hair behind her ear, granting him a smile with her tilted face, a gentle flirt I didn’t even believe the woman aware of. I could see how Josh would find it enticing though. Talk about operating on instinct, both of them. I grinned, swallowed down my chuckle when a few minutes later Nira’s hand brushed down Josh’s thick biceps revealed by his tight black t-shirt. They’d lingered there a little too long, danced over his bare skin before fondling the hem of his shirt sleeve.

While it was written all over his face, in the look in Josh’s eyes, I could also feel his interest, a mix of budding lust and genuine emotion, which came across clear as a bell to me at the moment. Initial interest churned with friendly banter had turned into some deeper conversation going along as smooth as butter now. When I thought about what I knew about their personalities, they struck me as a good match. If playing matchmaker, they would not have popped into my mind, but seeing them together, thinking it out, which was a nice distraction, I could see how it could work and work well. I couldn’t help but selfishly think that if they get together I might get to see Nira more often.

Of course all I had to do was turn to Lex to see the lust darkening his eyes to know he wished that we had a bedroom of their own tonight. I did too. The whole world melted away when he was buried deep inside of me. I craved a moment of only us, and grew eternally grateful that he wanted to distract me in such a way. He wanted to prove his love remained strong, knew how much I would need that right now.

But, since that wasn’t the case, I walked to a bathroom in the back, him watching my every move. I gave him a wink just before I went through the doorway. Standing there with my head against the flimsy, cheap barrier, that would have to do to gain us a moment of privacy, I waited for the sound of the knob to turn. Once he slipped in, he grabbed me around the waist, making me gasp for my next breath, as he pushed me up against the wall with the entirety of his hard body. My head hit the cheap sheet rock excuse for a barrier between rooms, and the reverberation of slight pain only excited me more.

With my back pressed between him and the sickly green, stained paint, there was no chance of escape, not that I wanted one. This position left me the leverage I needed to wrap my legs around him. The room so small, I braced my feet against the sink top, used my hips to grind against him until I got the feral growl I wanted to hear that was born deep in the chest of my alpha. I let the start of his hard erection push against my stomach. My core tightened, wanting him, needing him like a drug that cured all that ailed me. He’d forever be the only medication I would ever need to soothe over my emotions.

Lucky me
, I thought.
Despite it all, whatever happens, I have Lex. I have a god of a man, solid, too good to be true, bound to me in marriage and mated to my wolf for life. Some may want a bad boy type, but not me. I want this fierce beast who is as gentle a lover as he is a vicious fighter, and is willing to do everything in-between in the bedroom depending upon my every whim, my every desire. No girl could ask for more.

“Your thoughts have changed. I’m that good,” he growled in my ear.

I gave him a growl back, what I could manage of one in my tizzy of lust.

I knew we needed to keep things generally quiet enough to at least feign discreet, but also I didn’t think anyone in the crowd would give us a hard time using the bathroom a little longer than needed for a little rendezvous. I wasn’t ashamed to hide how much I wanted him. Whatever it took, I needed to know that he loved me, that he accepted me, and that he still wanted me as much as he had before tonight. His burning kiss deleted the horrible image of Daniel from my mind as soon as it had tried to seep in again.

My body had not forgotten exactly how to mesh with his, as it seemed days upon days since we’d last been together even if in reality it had only been a few. The island seemed worlds away, and like a reality I’d dreamed up right now, too good to be true and all. With his searing kiss still lingering on my lips, he pushed away, keeping my back against the wall with his hands on my waist until I got my feet back under me. Before I even grew steady, his hands reached down into my jeans, grabbing my ass a second as I wobbled to kick off my shoes. Seconds after the last one hit the ground, he slid my pants down my legs, essentially steadying me with his shoulder against my stomach as he ripped them from my legs.

When he stood up immediately after, leaving my bare, legs spread to brace myself, he slid his hands up my middle until both shirt and bra were pushed up to my neck. He growled deep and low again when he took a second to take me in as he tore his clothes from his own body. Giving me a good look at his solid, naked form, I let a noise go myself, though mine was more of a whimper followed by a growl.

When his hands touched my swollen, sensitive folds, I bit my lip not to scream out my pleasure, bring every warrior out there to come running to a rescue I didn’t need. As he used his work-roughened hands to open me further, his cock sprang to life even more, bumping against my clit. My eyes fluttered closed at the thrill that shot through my entire body, relaxing my tense mass of muscles.

“You want me inside of you, don’t you, my little wolf?” he asked, his voice rough, showing how much he wanted me.

He only needed the small confirmation as a means to a more powerful experience, not as permission to take me. I’d come to find his need to talk dirty as enticing for myself too, maybe just playing off his own needs which I sensed, or maybe finding it fulfilled a need inside me as well. Either way, from his compliments of my body, to talking me through it, to asking me if I wanted him or liked what he was doing, I found myself throbbing at my core, needing the hard, harsh stretch of him this time, fast and rough, making me come alive, taking me away from all that had happened tonight.

“I do. I want you hard and fast. Take me, Lex. Let me know that I’m yours, no matter what.”

“You are mine, no matter what. No one, no situation could change that,” he growled, this time fiercely, a dangerous noise that made me shiver, would make an enemy tremble. “You are never getting away from me. As humans we took vows, proclaimed sacred words that bonded us. As wolves we mated, an even stronger connection. My love is unconditional, my Christina.”

“Shut up and show me, Lex,” I growled myself, though the words came out more a huffed grumble, a pointed demand.

The head of his cock that had been poised at my opening pushed in then, not gently, not a mere inch, but all the way in one full stroke. As wet as I was, he slid in easily, yet my body adjusting to the invasion, the stretching of my inner passage, only made me want him more. As my need quivered away inside of me, as I rocked uncontrollably, my face flushing with the effort, I held nothing back, knowing how much he liked that.

When I went to utter words that would send him over the edge as well, I lost my ability to form them. Bold, determined, as I throbbed inside, my inner walls grabbing for him greedily as he moved in and out of me, I found myself in a state of frenzy I’d never reached before. I pumped my hips now, meeting him move for move, grabbing at his body as he grabbed at mine. His heavy hands held on, held me in place, as my fingers latched on, as much digging in as holding on, a reflex and preservation instinct.

Just as we were about to fall over the precipice a loud noise like something had hit the side of the house interrupted us, giving us a jolt of our bodies against each other. My racing heart had skipped a beat, and I’d cried out at the way he’d grabbed onto me tighter without thinking, protecting me.