Tangled Web (9 page)

The white door to her house had never looked
so inviting. She unlocked it and was greeted by Sam. She picked him
up, scratching him under the chin. “Have you found it in your heart
to forgive me?” He rubbed against her chin, letting her know that
he was at least considering it.

She went to the bathroom and turned on the
shower. Maybe hot, cleansing water could help. She eased in and
took her time, shampooing her hair and soaping herself down, the
act itself a reminder of where Johnny’s hands had been on her body
last night. She almost blushed thinking about it. She still
couldn’t think of what to tell Johnny, instead only being able to
think of the deed and not the repercussions.

She got out and toweled off, throwing on her
bathrobe and winding the towel around her brown mane. She slathered
moisturizer on her face and lotion on her body, then hung up her
towel and combed out her hair. She then headed to her bedroom to
dress. She’d been hoping Johnny had gone back to sleep so she could
just slip out to work and leave a note that she wanted to chat
later. But no such luck. He was up, sitting on the side of the bed,
fully dressed. His arms were crossed in front of his chest.

“Hey,” she said, almost whispering. He was
not his happy-go-lucky self--she could sense that within seconds.
Hell, he wasn’t even the pleasant recently sexed guy she’d left
half an hour or so ago. She paused just inside the doorway, the
atmosphere palpable, thick. Hesitant, she walked into the room.
“What’s up?”

His eyes were focused on his knees, and he
didn’t look up to make contact with Katie’s. He looked like he
might have been scowling, but in the semi-darkness of her curtained
room, she couldn’t tell. He nodded toward the mirror attached to
her dresser. “You wanna tell me who that is?”

Her eyes followed his path to the dresser.
Shit. There was a strip of four black and white pictures of her and
Grant posing in a photo booth from earlier that summer when the two
of them had gone to the State Fair. They’d stepped into the booth
on a lark, and three of the photos were silly pictures--one where
her tongue was sticking out; another where she was cross-eyed; and
another where she’d tilted her head to one side, her eyes looking
up, one finger under her chin. Grant had been laughing in each
shot, even though he’d tried but failed to be silly like she was.
The last shot, though, she’d been serious, and the photo caught
them in mid-kiss. When they’d arrived at her house the next day,
Grant had told her to keep the pictures and had tucked them in the
upper left corner of the dresser mirror. And like everything in her
house, it became invisible once she’d grown used to it.

But of course it would be as clear as a
window to Johnny.

“Oh, uh...” She swallowed and forced herself
to sit next to him on the bed. “That’s...Grant.”

Johnny finally looked in her eyes, his head
barely moving to the side. “And who the
fuck
is Grant?”

She felt her hackles rise, and she wanted to
take the defensive, but the air flowed out of her. She had no
right. Johnny was correct to wonder who Grant was, and she was in
the wrong for not having said anything. She had no idea how to
handle the situation, so she knew she would just have to be honest.
She forced herself to maintain eye contact. Every single word from
her mouth was spoken like a sentence, but she willed herself to say
the words that needed to come out. “He’s my fiancé.”

Johnny blinked a few times, then repeated as
though the words were foreign to him, “Your fiancé?” Katie couldn’t
force any other words out, so she moved her head in three slow,
short nods, the corner of her mouth screwed up. Johnny inhaled
deliberately, then let the air escape with the same control. His
voice was low, primeval. “When exactly were you planning on telling
me this?”

Katie dropped her head, still throbbing,
into her hands. Do not cry, she ordered herself silently. “I didn’t
mean for this to happen...”

“Mean for
what
to happen, Katie? For
us to make love, or for me to find out that you’re cheating on the
guy you’re planning to marry?”

“That’s not what I meant--”

Johnny stood. “Then what did you mean?” She
shook her head and brought her hand to her forehead. He leaned
against the dresser, his back to the strip of pictures.

“I was going to tell you later today. It’s
been gnawing at me since last night...”

“Jesus, Katie. You know, we were catching up
last night all fucking night long. I was telling you about my plans
for the future. You know, starting a new band, getting a clean
start. I’m just wondering why your wedding plans weren’t up there
with telling me about buying a house and planting a garden. Didn’t
you think you could have said at some point, ‘Oh, yeah, by the way,
I’m planning on getting married’?” He grabbed her hands, holding
them in front of him. “I mean, where the hell’s the engagement
ring?” He paused, letting her hands drop. “Or are you just jerking
me around?”

Goddammit. The first little warrior tear
fell, scraping her right cheek on its traitorous journey down to
its final resting place on her lap, her white robe absorbing it.
“It’s at the jeweler’s being refitted.”

The room was silent for several pregnant
seconds. “This is fucked up.” Johnny walked out of the bedroom,
each step of his boots like thunder in her quiet house. Katie
couldn’t let him go yet, not like this.

“Wait, Johnny. You don’t understand. It’s
not like that.” She followed him into the living room.

He turned around, planted his feet in front
of the door, the same spot where it had all started last night.
Katie looked at him until he said, “I’m waiting. Tell me what it’s
like.”

She sighed as another tear dropped. “I was
going to tell you. I swear. I just didn’t know how. And...” Her
voice faded. She didn’t know what to say.

“Were you going to tell him too?”

“I have to.”

He nodded. “And then what?” His voice was so
low, Katie almost couldn’t hear him.

She looked down at her feet, her head moving
back and forth as the flood started. “I don’t know.”

“Hmm.” Johnny grabbed his keys off the small
table beside the door and then walked outside. Katie heard his
motorcycle rev up. Finally, Johnny put the bike in gear, and the
noise faded as he sped down the street. It was only then that she
dropped to her knees and she noticed a tiny white satin-covered
button on the floor beside her, mocking her. She cupped her head in
her hands, wailing, wondering if she’d just lost a friend forever
or if he just needed time to cool off.

There was no getting around it. She was
going to look like shit today. Between the hangover and the tears,
there was little her makeup could do to make her look presentable.
Still, she tried. Whenever she would lose focus and start thinking
about Johnny, she bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from
crying, and she tried to keep to herself busy at work. Today was a
paperwork day, so she thought she might be able to just focus on
her computer screen and avoid people altogether. But looking busy
didn’t stop a few people from stopping by her cubicle to shoot the
breeze.

Dean peeked in her cubicle around 10:00.
“Hey, Kate, what time did you finally leave last night?” He was
just glancing in, but when Katie looked up at him, he paused. “My
God, what happened last night?” Shit. She must have looked worse
than she thought she did. Katie sighed. Before she could construct
an answer, he said, “Did that Libby woman call you after
hours?”

Katie shook her head. “No, nothing like
that.” How much should she tell Dean, she wondered. He and Grant
were pretty good friends, and she pondered--with good reason--how
much of this conversation would get back to Grant. She didn’t want
to lie, but she didn’t also didn’t know what she should say. The
truth, she thought.
The truth shall set you free.
It was
worth a shot.

Dean sat down in the extra chair seated next
to the cubicle entryway. “Are you feeling all right?”

“Honestly, no. I feel like crap warmed
over.” She sighed. “My oldest friend showed up in town last night.
We went out, and I drank a lot more than I should have.”

Dean raised his eyebrows slightly. “I didn’t
even know you drank.”

Katie nodded. “That’s because I usually
don’t.” Katie felt herself almost saying too much and decided she’d
better stop. “We were just having fun, and I wasn’t paying any
attention. Well, I’m paying for it today.”

Dean smiled. “I can’t say much. I’ve done
that a time or two myself.” He acted like he was going to stand up,
but then he stopped. “Are you sure that’s all that’s wrong? You
sure that Libby case from yesterday isn’t gnawing at you?”

“Why do you say that?”

Dean frowned. “Well, you look more like
you’re upset than that you had a crazy night partying. Hell, you
look like you’ve been crying off and on.” She had. He shook his
head. “I’m sorry. I’m probably coming off as snoopy. I don’t want
you to think that. I just...promised Grant I’d look after you.
Silly, I know. You can take care of yourself. You just look...so
miserable.” He looked down at the desk and then back up again. “So
sad.”

Katie inhaled, taking time for the air to
fill her lungs. Okay, so she was going to have to lie. Just
thinking about it made her want to cry. “Really, Dean, I just don’t
feel well. But thanks for asking.”

He curled up a corner of his mouth, then ran
his hand over his bald head. “Yeah. Sorry if I made you
uncomfortable.”

“No problem.”

“Maybe you should go home early today.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I’d really rather
just get all this paperwork done.” She needed some time away from
her thoughts, and focusing on work was helping. At least, she
thought so.

“All right. Holler if I can do
anything.”

“Will do.” She exhaled as Dean stepped away.
She bit her lip, feeling the tears at the ready again. She sipped
at her coffee and rolled her neck, then put her fingers back on the
keyboard.

But Dean wasn’t the only person to stop by
her cubicle. Aside from the mail girl, she also had another
coworker stop by to ask for two of her files. Finally, Gwendolyn,
the office busybody, wandered by Katie’s cubicle. Katie almost
shuddered, because she knew that Gwen made sure to talk to everyone
she could every day. It was the only way she could be sure to stay
current with office happenings. So when Gwen confirmed with Katie
that Grant would be back tomorrow, Katie felt more than a little
irritated that Gwen then decided to plop her fat ass at her desk.
What more could she possibly want?

“So, Kate, when do you get your ring
back?”

Katie tried to keep her eyes on the computer
screen, but it made them hurt worse. Even out of the corner of her
eyes, she could see Gwen’s burgundy lipstick, painted slightly
outside the woman’s real lip line in an effort to make her lips
look plumper. Instead, Katie thought, it just made her look stupid,
and today she was just not in the mood for Gwen’s games. She
decided to be curt with her answer. “I’m not sure.” Gwen started
tapping the desk with her finger. Katie knew this was a sign that
Gwen was going to lean in to “get intimate.” Katie was in no mood.
She finally looked over at the woman. “Look, Gwen, what can I do
for you? I have a lot of work to do today.”

Gwen’s lips pursed, and she tilted her head
to one side, the black curls on her head bobbing. “Feeling a little
hostile? What’s the matter with you?”

Katie sighed. “I just don’t feel well, okay?
Can you please cut me a little slack?”

“Hmmph. You know, just because you’re
engaged to my boss doesn’t mean you can treat me like that.” As
though it were an afterthought, she said, “Even if you don’t feel
good.” Gwen got up without saying another word and moved on to the
next cubicle. Katie felt relieved. She’d almost felt bad for Gwen
when she realized the woman’s last comments were merely a
passive-aggressive attempt to get Katie to acquiesce. So Katie
simply let Gwen move on. She still felt like crap, but at least she
wouldn’t have the office gossip there, breaking down what little
protection she had. She didn’t want Grant to hear from someone else
that something was wrong. She wanted to tell him herself.

And what, exactly, would she tell him?
Fortunately, she had an entire day and night to figure it out. And
at some point the pounding in her head was bound to stop.

* * *

Even though she’d been exhausted, Katie had
a hard time going to sleep that night. She thought about Johnny a
lot. More than that, though, she couldn’t stop seeing the last look
he gave her. And when she wasn’t thinking about Johnny, Grant was
heavy on her mind. She did a lot of thinking, though, and her
stomach was tight and sour the next day, but she knew what she had
to do.

Grant called her around 10:30 the next
morning and told her he should be back in town around lunch time.
He asked if she wanted to meet for lunch before they returned for
work. She agreed.

They met at one of Katie’s favorite
restaurants, Main Street Bakery and Deli. Grant hugged her and
kissed her on the cheek, and they went inside to order. While
waiting for their food, Grant told Katie about his trip. It had
been a supervisor’s conference where he could learn some of the new
regulations being put into place in the next year in the Child
Protection arena. Three days of intense training made anyone miss
home. Katie and Grant picked up their orders and headed toward the
dining area. Katie didn’t know if she felt relief that Grant
couldn’t tell anything was wrong with her.

They sat down at a table near a window, and
Katie felt her stomach turn several times. Grant asked, “When do
you get the ring back? I can’t wait to see it on you.”