Take Me Under (23 page)

It was the most incredible thing anyone had ever said to her, and after the amazing day that she’d spent with him, Reese knew he meant every word.

She just didn’t know for how long.

15

B
EN FELT LIKE HE’D GONE FROM HEAVEN TO HELL.
T
HAT BLISSED-OUT
state of happiness he’d found with Reese the night before was getting the shit beaten out of it in the bright light of day. When he’d opened his eyes that morning, everything that he’d said and done since he’d brought her home from the hospital had crashed down on him with staggering force, his chest so tight he could barely breathe through the panic.

It wasn’t that he felt any different. Fuck, no. He just didn’t know how to deal with what he
did
feel.

Despite his bone-chilling fear for her safety, yesterday had been one of the best damn days he’d ever had, and now he was reeling. He’d never let himself need something or someone this badly, and he was scared shitless by the idea of losing it. He’d do whatever it took to keep some jackass stalker from getting anywhere near her—but there were so many other things that could go wrong. She could decide she wasn’t ready for something this serious. Could open her eyes one morning and finally realize that she could do a hell of a lot better than him. That she could have any man she wanted. That she didn’t need to settle for someone who was terrified by the idea of feeling anything deeper for a woman than his driving need to fuck her.

And speaking of fucking—Ben didn’t know what the hell he’d been thinking, taking her like that without a condom. He didn’t do shit like that.
Ever
. But he hadn’t been able to resist the temptation. Even now, as he pounded the shit out of the punching bag that hung in his workout room, doing his best to avoid her, all he really wanted was to go and find her. To get her in his arms . . . and under his body, where he could sink back inside that hot, plush little pussy all over again, feeling her melting over his naked dick while she held him tighter than a fucking fist.

Somehow, not even the idea of her swollen and pregnant with his child was enough to scare him off. He’d been thinking about it that morning when he’d climbed out of bed, and as he’d stood there staring down at her, soaking in the way she was curled up in his sheets, all he’d felt was an intense, bone-deep satisfaction and pride at the idea of knocking her up.

Christ. If that weren’t enough to make a guy edgy, Ben didn’t know what was.

Finishing with his workout, he grabbed a shower, pulled on a pair of jeans, and padded barefoot to his home office. The first thing he saw when he sat down at his desk and pulled up his e-mail was a message from Alex. His older brother had apparently run into Connie in town, and she’d told him that Reese was staying at his house. Now Alex felt it was his God-given duty to warn Ben not to get too hung up on her. He tried not to let Alex’s shitty attitude get to him, but it wasn’t easy. Especially when he had a lot of the same bullshit already looping through his head.

An hour later, Ben was still looking over the Houghton file that Tony had sent him, when Reese came into the office, asking if he wanted any lunch, since it was already past two. He knew she’d picked up on his tension, but she hadn’t pushed for an explanation. She’d just kept herself busy talking on the phone to her sisters and working on the laptop he’d collected from her place, along with a suitcase full of clothes. After she brought him a sandwich, chips, and soda, she sat on the small loveseat under the window and ate her food, while he kept his attention on the file. The silence was awkward and thick, but he didn’t know what the fuck to say. Finally, she stopped picking at her food and moved back to her feet, her plate in one hand, her drink in the other.

“I should get back to my computer. I’ve got some classwork prep that I need to be working on,” she murmured, heading for the door.

“Reese,” he said gruffly, but she was already gone. Leaning back in his chair, Ben scrubbed his hands down his face, wondering what his problem was. He was acting like a total prick, and she didn’t deserve it. Hell, he needed to have his damn ass kicked!

Ready to go and find her, he started to move to his feet, when his phone rang. Sinking back into his chair, Ben spent nearly an hour talking to Tony, then got wrapped up looking through some more documents that the detective e-mailed over to him. He was still too bitter to really give a damn about the Houghton case, but he needed something to keep his head busy or he’d end up going ape-shit worrying about Reese’s stalker. Not to mention her accident and her trashed car and just how deeply the sexy little teacher had gotten under his skin.

By the time he was done reading over everything, the sun had set and it’d been hours since he’d seen Reese. With his jeans hanging low on his hips, Ben carried his lunch plate and empty soda can into the kitchen, then tracked her down in the dining room, where she was using the table as a desk. As she looked up from her laptop, her blue gaze lingered on his bare chest for a moment before lifting to his face, and some of the tension in his knotted muscles finally eased. He might screw up in the behavior department time and again, but there was always the chance that he could win her back with the sex. He was going to hold on to that bit of luck like a fucking lifeline.

“I’m sorry,” he grunted, knowing damn well that he owed her an apology.

She blinked at him from the far side of the table. “For what?”

He braced his shoulder against the doorjamb. “For acting like a jackass and brushing you off today.”

She gave him a tight smile. “Don’t worry, Ben. You can brush me off and I won’t crumple. I’m not as weak as everyone seems to think.”

With a wealth of meaning, he said, “I don’t think you’re weak. I know exactly how strong you are.”

“Good,” she murmured, turning an adorable shade of pink. The woman still couldn’t take a compliment to save her life.

Ben pushed away from the doorjamb and started making his way around the table. “Last night . . . things got pretty intense,” he rasped, his dark gaze locked with hers. “I think I’m still reeling a little.”

She turned in her chair to face him as he came closer, but she didn’t say anything. Just tilted her head back and watched him with those big blue eyes, looking wary and hurt and probably even a little pissed. Which was no less than he deserved.

Pulling her lower lip through her teeth, she waited until he was standing right in front of her, then asked, “Are you worried about us not using any protection last night?”

“What? No!”

A little notch formed between her brows. “Then is it my being here? Did it freak you out to wake up with me in your bed this morning?”

Ben shoved a shaky hand through his hair. “No, it’s nothing like that.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” he bit out, struggling to find the right words. “I’m just . . . I’m not good at opening up about shi—
things
with other people. But I
want
to be better at it for you. It just . . . It messes with my head, which is stupid, and I’m sorry you have to put up with my crap. But I—”

She cut him off before he could finish his rambling, pathetic explanation. “Ben, it’s okay. I’m not mad at you for feeling that way.” A small smile touched her lips. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to know everything about you, but not if it makes you uneasy. We can take things as slow as you want, okay?”

Reaching down, he grabbed hold of her and yanked her into his arms, his chin tipped down as he drank in the sight of her, wondering what the fuck he’d done to get this lucky. “You’re pretty incredible, you know that?” he said huskily, sliding one hand into her hair, cupping the back of her head, the other settling against the base of her spine.

She choked back a soft laugh and smirked. “You’re just saying that because you like the sex.”

“I most certainly do,” he rumbled, pressing a kiss to the delicate shell of her ear, then nibbling on the tender lobe with his teeth.

She moaned as she nuzzled her face against him, brushing her lips against the hard edge of his jaw. “That’s still so surprising, Ben. The way that you want me.”

Her quiet words sparked a searing rush of frustration inside him, and he pulled her head back, drilling his hot gaze into her storm-dark eyes. “When are you going to start getting it, Reese?
Want
isn’t a strong enough word for how you make me feel.
Want
I could deal with.
Want
wouldn’t leave my head spinning or have me acting like a jackass.
Want
I could shove to the back of my mind and walk away from. But I can’t do that with you. I don’t even want to fucking try.”

Her throat worked as she swallowed, those big eyes startled and bright, shimmering with emotion. “It . . . it kills me a little when you say things like that to me.”

“For God’s sake, why?”

“Because I’m so afraid I’m going to lose you,” she whispered, her voice trembling.

“Jesus, Reese. I’m not going anywhere,” he groaned, resting his forehead against hers. “Don’t you know how insane I am about you? Christ, any man would be crazy not to lo—”

His voice suddenly trailed off, his head jerked back, and Reese watched a stunned expression spread over his face as he realized what he’d almost said. That he’d been right on the verge of saying the l-word to her. From the look of panic shadowing his eyes, it was clear how horrified he was by the idea, and she tried to hide her disappointment. But it wasn’t easy.

Pulling out of his arms, she turned and started heading around the far side of the table. “I’ll see you in a little while. I just want to go and grab a quick shower before dinner.”

“Reese
.
”

She didn’t look at him—couldn’t. Not until she’d had some time to get her emotions back under control. “We can talk later, Ben.”

She was almost out the door, when she heard the text alert go off on her phone. It was sitting by her laptop on the table, the second alert making her flinch. “Ignore it,” she whispered, dreading what the message was going to say. She’d been trying so hard not to think about the accident, or her trashed car, but her control was shaky at best. Yesterday, Ben had consumed her every waking moment, making it easy to bury the fear. But he’d left her out there in the emotional wastelands today, and she was feeling too raw inside. It wouldn’t take much to tip her over, and she wished she could have just changed the damn number for the phone. But Ben had told her no, saying that it was best to know what the bastard was thinking.

His voice low, he said, “You know we can’t do that, honey.”

“Fine,” she snapped, turning back and snatching the phone off the table. She clenched her jaw as she pulled up the message.

“What’s it say?”

“That he
needs
me,” she forced from her tight throat, setting the phone back down. She was so creeped out, she didn’t even want to touch the thing.

Ben quietly cursed, then rubbed a rough hand over his mouth. “I want this jackass found.
Now
.”

With another hard swallow, she said, “Yeah. Me, too.”

He started to respond, only to stop when his phone suddenly rang, the shrill sound coming from somewhere in the back of the house. “Shit,” he muttered. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got to get that. It’s our emergency tone.”

She nodded, understanding that there were times when his job had to take precedence over everything else. And it’s not like they could do anything about the creepy text. He left the room, and she heard the muffled sound of his voice as he answered the call. Though she couldn’t make out any of the words, she could tell from his tone that something bad had happened. He came back into the dining room less than a minute later, dressed for work in jeans and a polo shirt, his phone clipped to his belt, a heavy gun in his hand.

“I have to go,” he said, checking the clip on the weapon, before sliding it into his shoulder holster.

“What’s wrong?”

He lifted his head and looked right at her, wearing his closed-off cop’s expression. “We’ve got a dead body in one of the public parking lots near the beach. Just about a half mile north of here.”

Reese blinked, unable to believe what he’d just said. “A dead body? Who is it? What happened?”

“I don’t have all the details,” he told her, and she followed after him as he headed into the kitchen, watching as he picked up his truck keys from where they were hanging beside the phone. “All I know is that the victim is female. Some teenagers who were skateboarding in the lot saw her body wedged under a car and called it in.”

“Ohmygod,” she whispered, slumping against the wall.

“I don’t know how long I’ll be gone,” he added, punching a number into his phone as he walked out of the room and across the hallway to his office. She could hear him opening drawers in his desk as he spoke briefly to someone on the phone again, her thoughts too fractured to focus on what he was saying. She was still standing there, in the same position, when he came back into the kitchen a few minutes later. “I’ve called my brother,” he said. “He’s going to stay with you while I’m gone.”

“What?” Reese shook herself out of her daze. “Ben, that’s not necessary. I feel safe here. I don’t need a bodyguard.”

His jaw hardened as he grabbed his wallet, slipping it into his back pocket. “We’re not going to argue about this, Reese. I’m not leaving you on your own.”