Take a Deep Breath (Lake of the Pines) (5 page)

“She’s a lucky woman. She was smart to see the doctor so
quickly.”

“I know. We’re so blessed.”

“What about you? How did you handle it?

“I actually was pretty strong through the whole ordeal. Sure,
I was scared. We all were, but during the whole time I didn’t have one panic
attack. I focused on my mom and said a lot of prayers.”

The music broke and a voice over the loud speaker said
“Preston party of two, your table is now ready.”

“That’s us.” Cam rose from the table.

Liv followed Cam to the hostess stand. The hostess led them
to a cozy table in the corner. The table was covered in a red and white
checkered table cloth. A votive candle flickered in the center. The hostess
gave them each a menu and took their drink orders. They both studied the menu
in comfortable silence. Liv tried to decide what sounded good to her.

“What are you going to have?”

“I’m not sure yet. Everything sounds delicious.”

“I know. I usually get…”

“The spaghetti and meatballs,” Cam finished.

“I do. You remember that too…”

“I remember a lot about you Liv.” Cam ran his thumb along
her arm. Liv shivered and Cam abruptly pulled away. “Sorry,” he mumbled and
went back to reading his menu.

The waitress came back to take their orders.

“I’ll have the chicken parmigiana and a cup of the
minestrone soup,” Liv said as she handed the waitress her menu and took a drink
of water.

“No spaghetti?”

“I thought I’d change it up this time.”

Cam ordered the spaghetti and meatballs for himself. “I might
let you have a bite of mine if you change your mind later.”

“I just might take you up on that…” Liv rested her hand on
his forearm.

Was she flirting with me? No, it must be my imagination,
Cam thought. The weight and heat of her hand on his arm played havoc with his
senses. The way she laughed and tilted her head up at him, the curve of her
neck, her sweet bow-shaped mouth and the dip of her dress pulling his gaze to
her breasts made it hard for him to concentrate.
Was that her leg brushing
against his under the table?
He needed to get control of himself before he
did something stupid and made a fool of himself.
She’s married,
he
reminded himself. He jumped up from the table and startled Liv.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just need to use the restroom.”

“Okay.” As soon as she’d brushed her leg against his, he’d
bolted off to the restroom. Maybe she’d read his signals wrong. She felt sure
he was into her as much as she was him. He watched her with the same hunger in
his eyes that she knew was in hers. He must be involved with someone after all.
She finished her soup as she waited. She hoped she hadn’t offended Cam. She
usually wasn’t so forward.

“Liv, is that you?” a voice asked from behind her. Liv
glanced over her shoulder. A tall woman with long, straight black hair, huge
brown eyes and full lips painted with a deep red lipstick came toward her. Her
long black skirt had a high slit on the side that showed off her long legs. She
had a flower tattoo on her ankle and wore spiked black sandals. The white
blouse looked good against her olive-toned skin.

“Liv? Hi! How are you?” the woman gushed as she stood next
to Liv’s chair. “I thought that was you!”

“I’m great,” Liv said still not quite sure how she knew the
woman.

“It’s good to see you. How’s Jen these days?”

“Bella…” The beautiful, thin woman before her did not even
remotely resemble the Bella she knew years ago. The pudgy girl with the thick
glasses was no more. “I didn’t recognize you at first.”

Bella smiled. “I get that a lot.” She laughed and shrugged
her shoulders.

“You look fabulous! Jen is doing great. She’s an art teacher
now. I know she’d love to hear from you!”

“Yeah, it’d be great to catch up with her.” Just then Cam
returned to the table. Bella stepped back a little so Cam could sit down.

“Why, Cameron Preston. How’re you? I didn’t know you and Liv
hooked up,” Bella exclaimed.

Cam looked thrown off guard. “Actually, I just ran into the
Liv the other day. She agreed to have dinner with me to catch up on old times.”

“That’s great. Well, I’ll leave you two to your meal. It
looks like the waitress is coming with your food now.” Bella waved and
disappeared into the crowd. The waitress served their dinners and asked if they
needed anything else.

“It looks great. I don’t need anything else. What about you
Liv?”

“I’m good too. Thanks for asking.” Liv cut into her chicken.
She blew on it a little and took a bite. It melted in her mouth.

“So, who was that woman and how does she know us?”

“I can’t believe you don’t recognize her.” Liv enjoyed
teasing Cam. “It’s pretty obvious. She looks just like she did as a kid.”

For the life of him, he couldn’t conjure up an image of a
younger version of the woman. “I give up. You’re going to have to tell me.”

“Bella Castenni.”

“That was
not
Bella.”

“It was. Truly, I’m not kidding.”

“Really? She doesn’t look anything like she did.” Cam
trailed off as he looked around the restaurant, trying to catch a glimpse of
the other woman again.

Liv laughed. “She does look fabulous now, doesn’t she?” Liv
continued eating her dinner. She relaxed back into the comfortable banter with
Cam.

They continued talking and laughing as they ate. Cam glanced
out the window and noticed it was dark already. He twirled the last of his
spaghetti on his this fork. “This is really good. Do you want to try it? I have
one last bite left.” He offered her his fork.

Instead of taking Cam’s fork from his hand, she leaned
across the table and took the spaghetti off with her mouth.

“Mmm…” She looked up at him with her big blue eyes. Her dark
lashed fluttered as she enjoyed the flavors of the spicy tomato sauce. She
smiled as a long noodle fell out of her mouth and sauce dripped onto her chin.
Cam instinctively reached over with his other hand to gently wipe off the
sauce. At the same moment, Liv stuck her tongue out to lick the sauce herself
and instead caught his thumb. A stab of heat hit Cam hard in the groin. Dinner
was not working. He pulled back.

“I’m sorry, Cam. I didn’t mean to,” Liv stumbled over her
words obviously embarrassed.

“Here’s a napkin.” She dabbed at her mouth and then set it
aside. Cam distracted himself with his drink.

“Are you okay Cam? I’m sorry if I offended you in anyway.”

“You didn’t. Not at all, I’m the one that’s sorry.”

“Well you don’t need to be. I’m having a great time.”

“Me too.”

The waitress came with the check and Cam pulled out his
wallet. Liv opened her purse as well.

“I’ll get it.”

“Are you sure? I can pay my half at least. Dinner was my
idea after all.”

“It’s my treat tonight. You can get it next time.”

Next time.
Liv smiled.
Yes. There’d be a next
time.
She hadn’t screwed up too badly.

It was 9:30 when they left the restaurant, but Liv wasn’t
ready for the night to be over.

“Do you want to go for a walk along the boardwalk?”

“That sounds nice.”

They walked together without talking, careful not to touch
each other.

At the end of the boardwalk they sat down on one of the
benches to watch the lake. The waves gently lapped the edge of the beach. The
moon reflected off the rippling water. The water-skiers and power boats were
gone now. She saw one sail boat in the distance, but other than that the lake
was quiet.

“It’s a nice night.” Liv broke the silence.

“It is. Look, there’s the big dipper.” Cam pointed above
them. She followed his finger to where the stars made up the dipper and its
handle.

“All those stars make me feel so small and insignificant,”
Liv whispered.

Cam turned to her and held her eyes. “You may be small, but
you are definitely not insignificant.”

Liv held her breath. She stared up at him and willed him to
kiss her. He leaned in toward her mouth and then stopped as if he’d just
remembered something he’d forgotten. He stood up and reached for her hand to
help her stand.

“It’s getting late.” His eyes looked sad as he dropped her
hands. “We better get back.”

Disappointed, Liv agreed and they walked back to his car. A
few minutes later they were back at her grandmother’s cottage. The only light
left on was the porch light. Cam walked her to the door. Liv thought about
asking him in, but decided against it after seeing the odd expression on his
face.

He turned to leave.

“Call me later?”

“Definitely.”

But, Liv stood wondering if he really would.

As he unlocked the door to his family’s summer house on the
other side of the lake, Cam heard his cell phone ringing. He almost tripped
over a pile of medical journals that he’d left on the floor earlier as his eyes
adjusted to the dark and he rushed to grab it before the caller hung up.

“Hello?” He flipped open his phone with one hand and flicked
on the kitchen light with the other.

“Hey, little bro! Where’ve ya been? I’ve been trying to
reach you all night, but you didn’t answer your cell. I was starting to get a
little worried,” Brad’s voice came over the phone.

“I was out. I left my cell on the counter.”

“
You
were out after eleven? Anyway, I thought that
thing was glued to you.”

Cam hadn’t realized it’d gotten that late already. “Yeah,
well, I’m on an extended vacation. I’m trying to get away from all that.” Cam
was taking a break from his large, Chicago medical practice. He and the powers-that-be
had different opinions on how the office ran and how long he could spend with
patients. He’d decided to spend some time out at Lake of the Pines to re-group
and figure out what he wanted to do next.

“Well?” Brad prompted.

“Well what?”

“Well, where were you? Were you out with a woman?”

“It’s none of your business Brad. What’d you want that was
so important anyway?” Cam tried to change the subject.

“Not so fast, little brother. Do tell.” Brad never gave up.
He didn’t stop until he got what he wanted. Much like their father, Brad was
driven. He thrived on being the best and doing the best. This explained why
Brad had always been the favorite son. The star-quarterback, always popular
with the girls, he had the looks that kept them swooning. Brad was the
all-American guy. Cam had not been athletically inclined as a kid; he much
preferred reading or playing music to sports. That would never do for a Preston
son. Cam pushed those thoughts from his head and back to his brother.

“If you must know…” Cam knew he would be on the phone all
night if he didn’t satisfy his brother’s curiosity.

“And I must.”

“I had dinner with an old friend.”

“An old,
female
friend?” Brad continued his
interrogation.

“Actually, my friend is a woman.” Cam really didn’t want to
deal with Brad’s razzing tonight. He always acted like they were still in high
school.

“Well? Anyone I know?”

“Maybe.”

“Come on, man. Just tell me already.”

“I was out with Liv.”

The phone was silent a few moments before Brad jumped back
in. “Wait a sec, Liv as in Livvy Adams? The one that got away? How did that
happen?”

“Yeah well, I was out and about a couple of days ago getting
supplies at the camp store, when I ran into Liv’s grandmother. She was shopping
with a little girl, her great-granddaughter actually. Mrs. Adams had her hands
full. The kid was a ball of energy, all legs and arms. Anyway, Mrs. Adams asked
me if I minded dropping off some firewood at their place. Apparently, she and
the little girl were going to pick out a puppy. I didn’t have anything better
to do, and Mrs. Adams really didn’t give me much of a chance to say ‘No.’ I had
no idea Liv was there. Now that I think about it, I’m sure Mrs. Adams planned
it that way. She always was one of my biggest fans.”

“And...?”

“And, when I got there I heard someone shouting. So I
stepped inside to see if everything was all right. It was her, Livvy. At first
I didn’t recognize her, although I should have. She’s as beautiful now as she
was back then, even more so. Her hair is longer and she’s a little thinner and
curvier, but her eyes, her mouth are all the same.”

“Did she recognize you?”

“Actually, she recognized me before I recognized her. Before
we could get a chance to really talk, the little girl, Sara, came barreling
through the door with her new puppy. It turns out, she’s Livvy’s
daughter
.
No wonder she looked so much like her. I thought maybe she was one of Livvy’s
sister’s kid or something when I was at the camp store, but no. I should have
guessed she looks just like Livvy. Then, this morning I ran into her again on
the beach. She suggested we get together later to catch up and talk about old
times.”

Brad whistled, “A kid. So I guess that means she’s married
now.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Did she have a ring on her finger?”

“Damn, I didn’t think to look for one. I’m sure she’s
married though.” Cam struggled to picture her hands in his mind. “Sara, her
daughter, said her Dad was away on a business trip. Anyway, I’d been debating
about whether or not to call her or stop in to see her again when I was out on
my run. I really want to be friends with her again, but...”

“Just friends?” Brad questioned.

“Yes, just friends,” Cam answered suddenly taking offense at
his brother’s implications. “Jeez Brad. I’m not a home wrecker. I admit it was
good seeing and talking to her again, but that’s all we did. Talk. She’s so
easy to talk to. I regret letting her walk away all those years ago just
because she didn’t want more. Now, I have a second chance at her friendship. I
don’t want to blow that.”

“Be careful Cam, you don’t want to get in over your head. I
can tell you still have strong feelings for her. Sometimes those feelings can
be hard to turn off.” Brad suddenly took on a more serious big brother role.

“You’re right; I do have feelings for her. I can’t help
that, but I’m not stupid. I don’t want to ruin our new friendship or cause
problems in her marriage. God, it’s so weird to think of her married.” Then,
Cam laughed out loud.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, really…” Cam opened the fridge to look for
something to drink and settled on a bottle of water. “I was just thinking that
I really owed you one for stopping me from making a fool out of myself and
kissing her that last summer. Then she’d have known my true feelings for her.
At least now, she thinks I only think of her as a friend. I’d hate to scare her
away. It’s obvious now that she really meant it when she said we were just
friends.” Relief and regret swept over him as he thought about how he’d almost
kissed her again on the boardwalk earlier that night.

“I don’t know about that. I think she wanted you to kiss her
back then. I always kind of regretted giving you guys such a hard time that
day.”

Just like she wanted me to kiss her tonight?
He
thought. “Yeah, well, I can’t change what happened in the past. I’m just glad I
have the chance to reconnect with her now. Even if it is as friends,” Cam’s
voice trailed off. “Anyway, enough talk about my love life or lack thereof. Why
were you trying to get a hold of me anyway?”

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I wanted to warn you. I was
talking to Mom earlier. Dad and his fishing buddies are headed your way this
weekend. She said they heard the perch were really biting now.”

“Great. That’s just what I need. Is Mom coming too?”

“No. She said she’s cleaned enough strings of smelly fish
for a bunch of ungrateful men for one lifetime. She’s staying home to catch up
on some reading instead.”

“Lucky her! What about you? Are you coming for the weekend?”

“Ha. Not on your life. I don’t want to get in the middle of
Dad and his cronies. I’d end up smoking cigars and playing cards all night. Not
to mention, smelling like a dead fish.”

“Coward,” Cam goaded.

“You just want me to be a buffer between you and Dad.”

“Well, yeah, duh.”

“You’ll be fine. Dad will be too absorbed with himself to
even notice if you’re there or not.”

“True. I’m just not in the mood for his brand of humor.” Cam
paced in front of the kitchen window.

“Who is?” Brad laughed. “Chances are you and Liv won’t even
cross his path. You are going to see her again, aren’t you?”

“Well, I’d planned to call her tomorrow. I want to see her
again, but maybe you’re right. It might be better to stay away from her for
now.”

“I know you Cam. I don’t want to see you hurt. See her if
you want to. Just remember what I said and be careful.”

“Aren’t I always?” Cam feigned innocence.

“Ha!”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come for the weekend?”

“Listen, I really would, but I just started seeing someone
new.”

“I see how it is. Tall, blond and built?”

“Close, she’s a red-head.” Brad laughed again. “Well, I need
to get going. I’ll give you a call in a few days to see how things are going
with Dad.”

“Talk to ya later.” Cam ended the call and set his phone
back on the counter.

He wasn’t tired. Adrenaline still pumped through his veins.
The image of Liv sitting in the moonlight, a strand of hair falling across her
face, her lips parted, her eyes watching him with longing, prevented him from
rest. He could feel her wanting him as he wanted her, but she knew as well as
he, it wasn’t to be. He needed to be strong for them both, for Sara’s sake.
He’d come close to losing it with her. He could almost taste her mouth on his
when he’d come to his senses. She was a temptation he knew he couldn’t resist.
Given the chance again, he didn’t know if he could be so noble.

He flipped through the channels on TV, trying to distract
himself. With over a hundred to choose from, he would’ve thought he could find
something to watch to take his mind off Liv. But he couldn’t stop himself from
thinking about her again. Had it really been ten years since they’d been
together? They fell back into sync as if all those years hadn’t passed by. It
seemed like just yesterday that she was standing with him by the boulders on
the Big Loop trail telling Brad that the two of them were only friends, and
nothing more. Only the years had passed by and now she was married and had a
family.
It should have been with me
, he thought.
If only I’d told
her how I felt back then, it could have been me. Maybe.

Finally, feeling tired, Cam turned off the TV and went to
bed. He should probably just stay away from her. Let her spend time with her
daughter. After all they were on vacation. They didn’t need an old friend
intruding. Besides, if not for a business trip, she’d be spending time with her
husband. It would be hard to keep away from her though, knowing she was so
close. She’d asked him to call her or maybe she’d said she’d call him. He
couldn’t remember now. He drifted off thinking about the first time he met her.
It was safer to think of the little girl she used to be instead of the
beautiful woman she’d become.

The day they met, his parents had gone out golfing somewhere
and left Brad in charge. Not wanting a kid brother to tag along behind him all
day, he’d dropped Cam off at a lame nature hike for kids. Cam did not want to
be there. He didn’t understand why his brother wouldn’t just let him stay at
the house by himself? He was nine and a half for God’s sake. He did not need to
be supervised, especially not by Brad. He kicked at the stones and dirt with
the toe of his boot as he waited for the whole thing to get started. A group of
kids were laughing and talking in the middle of the trail.
A bunch of boy
scouts
, he thought.
This is so stupid.
Then he saw Livvy standing
by the trail marker with what looked like her grandmother. They seemed to be
arguing about something, but he couldn’t hear what they were saying. The girl
had on a pair of acid-wash jeans and a rainbow tie-dyed t-shirt. She had her
arms folded in front of her as she stood her ground.

Her grandmother started gesturing toward him and the girl
turned and smiled at him. Their eyes met for a brief second and then the girl
looked back at her grandmother. Moments later she came walking towards him.

“What?” He stuck his thumbs in his belt loops, trying to act
tough.

She swallowed and pushed on. “Hi, my name is Livvy. What’s
yours?”

“Cameron.” Her voice was as bright as her outfit. She
started to fidget and bite her lip. He could tell she was going to walk away if
he didn’t say something else soon. “Hey!” He pointed at her shirt. “You’ve got
a bug or something on your shirt there.”

“Get it off!” As she looked down to brush off the ‘bug,’ he
reached out and tweaked her nose.

“Gotcha!” Their eyes met. She smiled and laughed then. She
hadn’t gotten angry and stormed off.
She got him.
Later, she pulled
the old “weed on the back of the neck” trick as they walked down the path. He
knew it was her, but he let her tickle him a couple of times and pretended to
slap at it until she gave herself away by giggling.

From then on, they’d become best friends. Every summer they
spent time together hiking, swimming and talking. It wasn’t until the end of
the summer before his junior year of high school that he knew he was in love
with her. He’d meant to tell her the next summer, the last summer they were
together, but never had…

The next morning, Cam woke up at 5:42 AM. He’d gotten up at
5:30 for years and his body wouldn’t let him sleep past that time no matter
what time he’d gone to bed the night before. He rolled over and tried to go
back to sleep. Fifteen minutes later he still felt wide-awake, his head filled
with thoughts of Liv. He grabbed his phone off the nightstand and sent her a
quick text message.

“Thx 4 dinner last night. Great seeing you. Had a g-8 time.
C.”

Immediately after pressing send, he regretted it. He hadn’t
been up ten minutes and already he was doing a poor job of staying away from
her. He just couldn’t get her out of his head. He got out of bed and pulled on
his black running shirt and a pair of gray shorts. Sitting on the edge of his
rumpled bed, he laced up his running shoes. Standing, he stretched. He rubbed
his jaw and realized he needed a shave. He pulled his hair back at the nape of
his neck to keep it out of the way while he worked out. He headed down the hall
to the spare bedroom that Brad had turned into a small weight room years
before. Even if Cam wasn’t a star athlete like his brother, he learned he could
look the part by lifting and running.