Take a Deep Breath (Lake of the Pines) (15 page)

“You got it.”

“How’s the little girl doing?” Luke asked as they walked
over to the pool table where two of Luke’s friends waited.

“I wouldn’t really know,” Cam answered suddenly feeling down
again. “She went back home to Ohio with her mother last week, so she must’ve
been well enough to travel.”

“I see. We’ll that’s good. She’s a lucky girl.”

“She sure is…Lucky, lucky, that she is. Me on the other
hand, not so much.”

Luke let the subject die and introduced Cam to his two
buddies, Sam and Greg, just as the band started playing a cover of Kid Rock’s
“All Summer Long.” Matt left the drinks on the table. Cam picked up one of the
shots, tipped his head back and drank it in one swallow, wincing as he felt the
liquid flow down his throat and burn its way to his stomach. Greg and Sam
joined Cam and downed their shots too. Cam gestured to Luke to take the last
shot, but Luke shook his head “no.” So, Cam downed it as well. Greg racked the
balls and Sam broke them. Luke handed Cam a pool stick. Cam lined it up behind
the cue ball and gently tapped it. The ball moved a few inches missing its
target.

“Yep,” Cam laughed at himself, “I still suck at this game.”
He poured himself a beer and waited for his next turn.

“Good thing we aren’t playing for money then,” Luke joked.

“What?”

“It’s a good thing we aren’t playing for money,” Luke
repeated raising his voice over the pulsing music.

“Very true.”

“So do you live around here or are you just visiting?” Greg
asked.

“Visiting. My family used to come here every summer. It’s
been awhile since I’ve been back. My parents still have a house on Lake of the
Pines, though. What about you?”

“I’m a local, just like Luke and Sam here. We all went to
the same high school. We’ve been friends forever.”

“Are you with the search and rescue team as well?” Cam
watched Sam line up the cue ball and knock the last ball in.

“Nah, that’s Luke’s gig. I run a small construction business
and Sammy is a computer geek. He just finished programming some 3-D reality
video game.”

Cam finished off his beer and set his empty glass on the
table. He briefly thought about pouring another, but his head was already
spinning.

“You guys want to go again?” Sam asked.

Luke looked at his watch. It was almost ten-thirty. “Sorry
to be the party-pooper, but I have to be at work by seven tomorrow.”

“What about you guys?” Sam asked gesturing toward Greg and
Cam.

Greg finished off the last swallow in his glass. “Afraid,
I’m out too. I told my wife I’d be home before midnight this time. It was nice
meeting you Cam.” Greg shook Cam’s hand and headed out the door.

“Well that just leave you and me,” Sam said turning to Cam.

“I’m afraid that’s not much of a game for you. I’m bad when
I’m sober.”

“Okay, I guess it’s an early night,” Sam answered. He
finished racking the balls and put the pool sticks in the rack on the back
wall. “See you around. Luke, same time next Tuesday?”

“As always.”

Sam wandered off to talk to the band members who were taking
a break. Cam held the pitcher over an unused glass. “One more before you call
it a night?” he asked Luke.

“Sorry. I really can’t. I only have one when I’m driving. I
really do need to get going.”

“No problem.” Cam’s head was starting to throb. Sleep began
to sound like a good plan. “I think I’m going to take off too. It was good
seeing you again.”

“You too.” Luke slapped Cam on the back.

Cam made his way through the crowd to the counter. He
settled up his tab with Matt and headed out the door into the fresh air. He
stumbled a bit and realized he was drunker than he first thought. He tried to
remember how many beers he’d drunk, but he lost count after the fifth one. He
shouldn’t have done the shots. That’s what had put him over. Having only eaten
a handful of peanuts since lunch, it was no wonder he felt a tad dizzy and off
balance.
It’s going to be a long walk home,
he thought. He leaned
against the boardwalk railing and stared out into the darkness. He felt like he
might throw up. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d drunk that much liquor.
Filling his lungs with air, he slowly let it out until the nausea passed. He
knew he’d probably feel better if he did vomit, but he preferred not to do it
in public. Slumping onto a bench, he put his head between his knees.

He felt a hand on his arm and looked up to see three Luke’s
staring down on him.

“Are you doing okay? You don’t look so good.”

“As soon as everything stops spinning around I’ll be fine.”

“Can I give you a ride home?”

“Nah you don’t have to. I’d hate to throw up in your car.
I’m only a mile up the road that way.” Cam pointed to the right. “Or is it that
way?” He turned in the opposite direction.

“Come on buddy. Let’s get you home.” Luke hauled Cam up off
the bench and put his arm around his waist to help him to the car. Cam gave
Luke his address and five minutes later Cam was home. He noticed his father’s
car was the only one in the drive. Roger and Eric must’ve finally gone home.
Leave it to his father to stay behind when Cam wanted to be alone.

“Do you need help getting inside?”

“No, I can make it from here. Thanks for the ride. I really
appreciate it,” Cam answered as he half fell out of the car.

“No problem.” Luke waited until Cam made it inside before he
backed out of the driveway.
He’s going to have one hell of a headache in
the morning.
Luke chuckled to himself as he drove off into the night.

Cam went straight to the kitchen for a large glass of water
and a couple of aspirins. He’d only drunk half the water when his stomach
revolted and went into reverse. He dashed toward the bathroom and retched.

“Cam?” Max called from the living room, “Are you okay in
there?”

“Just a second…” Cam called as he retched a second time. He
rested his head on the rim of the toilet, reached over and blindly flushed it.
A few minutes later he stood and splashed some water on his face. He opened the
medicine cabinet and rooted around until he found a packet of Alka Seltzer.
It’d expired the month before, but he didn’t care. He made his way back to the
kitchen, refilled his water glass and dropped in the two white tablets. He
watched as the water fizzed and popped. Once the tablets dissolved he drank it
down in one long gulp. He rested against the counter and wondered what
possessed him to drink so much. Then he remembered, Liv…

“Cam? Are you sick?” Max came into the kitchen. Before Cam
could answer, Max caught a whiff of Cam’s alcohol stench. “Good God Cam, you’re
drunk!”

“And you’re a genius, Dad.” Cam stalked into the living
room.

Max followed his son. “This isn’t like you. What’s going
on?”

“Did the guys leave?” Cam changed the subject as he sank
into the plush recliner and untied his shoes.

“Yeah, they only had a week’s vacation. I thought I’d stay a
little longer though. I took another week off. We don’t ever get to spend much
time together these days.” Max sat down on the couch across from Cam.

“That’s true, but really Dad, don’t stay on my account. I
won’t be much company anyway. I’m not in the mood for cards and fishing.”

“Well, we don’t have to play cards or fish. We could golf or
do whatever it is you do these days.” Max was trying hard to finally connect
with his youngest son.

“Can we talk about this in the morning? I really need to get
some sleep.” Cam stood to leave the room.

“Wait, Cam, I’m worried about you. Can we just talk a
minute?”

“Not tonight.” A moment later Max heard Cam’s bedroom door
click shut. He’d let Cam work out whatever was going on between him and Liv his
way for now, but he wasn’t about to let his son fall into a drunken depression
without a fight.

Cam dropped into the rumpled covers of his bed. The clock on
the dresser read 12:17 AM. He pulled the covers up over his head and closed his
eyes. It was after eleven the next morning when Cam opened them again. His head
throbbed and his body ached. He certainly wasn’t ready to get up and face the
day no matter what the clock said. He rolled over on his back and studied the
small crack that spidered its way from the light fixture towards the wall. The
air conditioning kicked on and Cam watched as a wispy cobweb clinging to the
edge of the circular vent directly above him danced on the cool stream of air.
He added dusting to the list of “to do” tasks growing in his head and groaned.
At least focusing on the mundane helped keep his mind off the pain of losing
Liv that threatened to pull him under.

The sun streamed through the slits of his blinds revealing a
stream of dust particles floating in the air arching toward the green 70’s
style shag carpeting. He reached above his head, stretching his finger to reach
the strings and pull them shut. He rolled over on his side and squeezed his
eyes shut willing himself to go back to sleep. Opening his eyes, he noticed
he’d forgotten to close his closet door. At least his closet was organized, Cam
mused as he admired his rack of neatly hung shirts and jeans. He had one
section for shirts and another for pants. While he had the urge to color sort
his closet as well, he resisted. Even he thought that would be over the top.
His family always teased him about his alphabetically ordered books, CDs and
DVDs, so he didn’t need to give them any more ammunition. But, he liked his
closet orderly as he did his life. Unfortunately, his life wasn’t going in the
order he wanted.

“Hey, are you in there?” Max knocked on the bedroom door. He
didn’t wait for Cam to answer and barged in. “Get out of bed!”

Cam groaned and put his pillow over his head.

“I mean it, son. I said get out of bed.”

“Just leave me alone.”

“Do you love her?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You heard me! I asked, ‘Do you love her?’”

“Yes, I love her! I’ve always loved her. I never stopped!”

“Then what’re you doing here? In bed?”

“She left Dad!”

“And you’re just going to let her leave?”

“I don’t have a choice!” Cam’s anger exploded.

“Don’t give me that load of crap! Go after her. Tell her how
you feel. You’ve been moping around here for days. That drunken episode last
night was the last straw. I’m sick of seeing your sorry ass around here. Now
get up and do something about it!” Max pulled the covers off the bed.

Stunned, Cam had no response for his father.
He’s right.
For the first time in my life, Cam thought,
my Dad is right.

Liv sat with her netbook open on her lap in the middle of
the dark green sofa that took up the majority of her small living room. The
television provided low background noise, but Liv didn’t hear it as her fingers
flew over the keyboard. Sara wandered into the room with Brit at her feet.

“What’re you working on Mom?” Sara stood to look over her
mother’s shoulder. She’d gotten her cast taken off her leg earlier that week.
In another month or so she’d have to have surgery again to remove the pins and
metal plate.

“I’m just finishing up a story about the beautiful Princess
Sara. In this adventure she gets lost in the forest.”

“Cool Mom! I can’t wait to read it.” Sara plopped down on
the braided oval rug in the middle of the room.

“I thought maybe you could draw the pictures for me.”

“That would be awesome. But, I’d need to get some new
colored pencils or maybe paints.”

“Okay, we’ll see about that. I think there’s a whole bin of
them somewhere in that room of yours.”

“But, Mom, I need new ones.” She pulled Brit’s rope toy out
from under the entertainment center. Brit growled and barked as she played
tug-of-war with Sara. Liv saved her document and shut down the computer. She
leaned back against the sofa and closed her eyes for a moment. She concentrated
on her own breathing and the sounds around her. She relaxed her body and
savored the feeling. Her mind wandered back to Cam again. He consumed her
thoughts more each day. She wondered what he was doing and if he were thinking
of her.

“What’s wrong Mom? You look sad.”

“Do I? I was just thinking...”

“About Cam? I know you like him.”

“You’re right, I do Hon. I like him a lot.”

“I think he likes you more than a lot. I saw him kiss you on
the boat when he thought I wasn’t looking.” Sara giggled and puckered her lips
to make a kissing sound.

Liv smiled at Sara. “I like him more than a lot too, Sara,
but sometimes that’s not enough.”

“Why not? If you like him, which you just said you did. And
you miss him, which I know you do. Then you should just call him and tell him.”

Why not?
Liv thought.
She’s right.
“You’re
pretty smart for an eight-year-old girl. You know that?” Liv brought her
daughter into her embrace.

“I’m almost nine you know. My birthday is next month. Maybe
you could get me the new pencils and paints as an early birthday present.”

“Nice try! It’s getting late. Your dad will be here any
minute to pick you up. Are you ready to go?”

“Do I have to go? Can’t I just stay with you?”

“Your dad is looking forward to spending time with you. I
know you’re going to have a great time. Besides, he mentioned going to see your
Grandma and Grandpa Reynolds.”

“Cool!” Sara headed for the stairs to pack her bag. Her face
lit up at the prospect of seeing her grandparents.

Liv laughed and hummed to herself, giddy with excitement now
that she’d made the decision to contact Cam. She found her purse sitting on the
kitchen table and began to search for her cell phone. She dumped the contents
onto the table--wallet, checkbook, hairbrush, a pack of gum, lipstick, credit
card, three pens, a handful of loose change and a couple of unpaid bills, but
no cell phone. As she returned each item to her purse, throwing out old
receipts and wrappers as she went, she saw Cam’s note sticking out from between
two bills. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to throw it away and every now
and then she took it out to re-read. She opened the worn paper, his handwriting
now familiar, and read over the note that she’d memorized once more.
You
know where to find me when you’re ready. I’ll be waiting.
She prayed he’d
meant the words he’d written to her more than a month ago and she hadn’t waited
too long to reach out to him. If only she could find her cell phone, she could
tell him she loved him and wanted to be with him. She checked under the couch
and in the cushions, on the bathroom counter and her desk, but the phone still
eluded her.

“Sara! Have you seen my cell?”

“It’s up here Mom. I was playing Angry Birds on it.”

Liv sighed and tucked her hair behind her ears. Sara
appeared at the top of the stairs with her overnight bag on her shoulder and
Boo Boo bear and the purple hippo in her arms.

“Here you go, Mom.” Sara handed Liv her phone when she got
to the bottom of the stairs.

“Thank you. Next time, please ask me before you take my
phone out of my purse.”

“Okay. I’m sorry, Mom.” Sara hugged her mother and Liv
rested her chin on the top of her daughter’s head.

“I love you, Sweetie.”

“I love you back, Mom.”

The doorbell rang, breaking the moment.

“And that will be your Dad. Have a good time this weekend.
I’ll miss you.” Liv kissed her daughter on the forehead and went to answer the
door. Ron looked relaxed in a pair of tan pants, a navy polo and brown loafers.
Liv almost didn’t recognize him without his usual shirt and tie uniform.

“Hello, Ron. Sara’s just about ready to go. Come on in.”

Ron stepped just inside the door and awkwardly stood waiting
for Sara.

“I told her you’re going to see your parents this weekend.
She’s really excited to go.”

“That’s good. I think the plan is for the four of us to go
to the zoo.”

Sara squealed at the word ‘zoo.’

“Really Daddy, you’re coming too?”

“Sure am kiddo, I wouldn’t miss seeing the monkeys and
meerkats for the world.” Ron tousled Sara’s hair as he took her bag and held
the door open for her to go through.

“Those are my two favorite animals!” Sara exclaimed as they
walked to the car together. Liv stood incredulous. She couldn’t believe the man
leaving with her daughter was her ex-husband. He actually knew Sara’s favorite
zoo animals. Ron turned back towards Liv as he opened the car door for Sara.

“You look good.”

“Thanks,” she replied unsure where he was going with the
compliment.

“I’ll have Sara back after first service on Sunday, if that
works for you.”

“Okay. That will be fine.”
Church,
she thought,
since
when does he go to church?

“Great. See you then. Have a nice weekend.” Ron slid into
the driver’s seat, pulling the door closed behind him.

Liv waved goodbye to Sara. The girl was all smiles as she
waved back to her mother. She rolled down the window and called out as they
pulled away.

“Bye Mom! Love ya!”

“Love ya back!” Liv waved again.

Back inside Liv pondered Ron’s odd behavior.
Where was
the big confrontation?
She wondered.
Maybe Ron was actually changing.
For Sara’s sake she hoped so. The little girl would be devastated if he was
just putting on some twisted act to…
Liv stopped herself.
No,
she
thought,
I’m going to believe his intentions are good. I know he loves Sara
and would never hurt her.

Liv curled up on the sofa and pulled her phone out of her
pocket. She scrolled through her old text messages until she found the one from
Cam. She pressed the option to call the sender and waited for Cam to answer.
She twisted her hair around her finger nervously and worried.
Would he even
want to talk to me after I left the way I did?
The phone rang three times
and on the fourth ring, she heard his voice.

“Hello…”

“It’s me, Liv.”

“You’ve reached Dr. Cameron Preston. I can’t come to the
phone right now, but if you would please leave your name and number after the
beep, I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. If this is an emergency, please
dial 911 now.”

Voice mail.
Disappointment spilled over Liv’s
features and she ended the call without leaving a message. She set her phone on
the end table next to her and traded it for her eBook reader. She flicked it on
and began to read. The chiming of the doorbell startled her.

“Just a second!” Liv crossed the living room and threw open
the door. “What did you forget?” Standing on her front stoop wasn’t Sara or
Ron, but Cam. Liv stood speechless in surprise, as a myriad of feelings poured
through her.

“Forget?” Cam looked confident, but uncertain as he waited
for Liv to say something. He’d cut his hair short, leaving just the bangs and
sideburns longer. He smiled at her and jammed his hands into the pockets of his
worn brown leather jacket. Beneath the jacket he had on a heather blue,
button-front shirt that made his eyes look even bluer than normal. “I know you
said you needed time…but I just couldn’t stay away any longer…”

“Cam, it really is you.”

“Yeah.” He smiled warily. “Can I come in?”

She could see the longing in his eyes and feel it in her
body. In answer to his question, she reached out and grabbed the open edges of
his jacket, pulling him into the room as his mouth crashed onto hers. She
parted her lips inviting his tongue into her open mouth. His hands tangled in
her hair as she encircled the back of his neck with her arms and deepened the
kiss. Dizzy with desire and the pent up longing of more than a month apart, she
couldn’t get enough of his taste. She moved her hands over his shoulders as she
pulled his jacket downward and he shrugged it off letting it drop to the floor.

Cam broke the kiss. “Sara?” His voice rasped heavy with
need.

“She’s at her father’s for the weekend.” Liv started to
unbutton Cam’s shirt as he kissed the side of her neck and found his way back
to her sweet mouth. Hot desire arrowed straight to his groin as he realized
Liv’s words meant they were alone. In that instant she knew he wanted her as
much as she wanted, needed him. The cuff of his shirt caught on his hand and he
shook it off. Liv ran her fingers over his muscled chest, while Cam pulled her
shirt up over her head and unfastened her bra. He stared a moment and admired
her beauty. She shivered standing before him half naked and he realized the
front door stood open.

“The door…”

“I got it.” Liv quickly kicked it shut behind her with the
heel of her bare foot. Pressing herself against his chest, she closed the space
between them. She could feel his heart beating as fast as hers. His hot skin felt
so good against hers. She unbuckled his belt and started to unfasten his jeans
when she felt his hands encircle her wrists to stop her.

“Are you sure this is what you want? I didn’t come here to…”

“I know. Do you have protection?” She prayed he did.

“I do, but I don’t want to take advantage of…”

She stopped him with her mouth. The kiss was urgent and
fast. She knew what she wanted. She entwined her fingers with his and pulled
him towards the stairs. Cam scooped her legs out from under her and held her in
his arms. Liv gasped in surprise.

“Where?”

“First door on the left…”

Cam kissed her neck again. He couldn’t get her to the
bedroom fast enough. The urgency of their love making took over his mind and
body. He laid her in the middle of the bed. She sat up on her knees, tilted her
head up at him and finished undressing him. Her body ached with longing at the
sight of him.

“No fair. I’m the only one naked.”

“Why don’t you do something about that?” She pulled him down
on top of her and found his mouth. She groaned as his tongue danced with hers.
He propped himself up on his elbows careful to keep his full weight off of her.
She arched upward to meet him and pulled him back down onto her. She wanted to
feel his weight on her, to feel him inside her.

“Wait…let’s slow it down.”

“I can’t, please Cam, God, Cam I can’t wait…”

Cam smiled lazily and softly touched her lips with his as he
caught both her wrists in his hand and pressed them above her head.

“Just relax…I want the first time to be about you…” He
buried his face in her throat, trailing open-mouth kisses down her body,
teasing and taunting her with his tongue. He eased her pants down and off as he
continued to kiss her torso, moving down toward her inner thigh.

Liv instinctively pulled her legs together and tried to sit
up.

“Cam…please stop, I need you to…”

“Shhhh. Let me do this for you. I’ve dreamed of pleasuring
you for so long…” He released her wrists and brushed her hair back from her
forehead. “You’re so beautiful Livvy. I love you so much. I’ve loved you for so
long…Let me show you how much.” He tenderly kissed her mouth as she ran her
fingers through his hair, letting herself relax back down into the soft pillow.
Cam drew circles with his tongue down her neck once more. He loved and caressed
her body, sending her senses spinning.

“Cam, please Cam…”

Cam cocked one eyebrow up at her, smiled and went back to
kissing and teasing every inch of her being.

“Cam, please…” Liv begged. “I want, I need you…I want our
first time to be together.”

Cam stopped on her words, any control he’d had gone. “Okay,
baby, okay. Just give me a sec.” He dangled his arm over the side of the bed
and fumbled on the floor until he found his wallet and a condom in the back
pocket of his jeans. Only moments later, Cam positioned himself above Liv and
looked down into her eyes. She reached up and gently touched the side of his
face before she kissed his mouth gently, slowly with love and longing.

“Now, Cam, please… I can’t do slow anymore…” She opened
herself to him as she tilted her hips up to meet him. Cam crushed her lips with
his and joined them in one fluid motion. She wrapped her legs around him and
pulled him down further into her.

“Liv,” he groaned as they moved in rhythm together. “I can’t
last…”

“Cam…I…I...”

He pressed his mouth back onto hers swallowing her cries as
she came undone. Wave after wave of pleasure rushed through her body,
triggering his release. Spent he collapsed on her and laid his head on her
chest. She kissed the top of his head and savored the weight of his body
pressing her into the bed. He looked up at her and smiled.