Surrendering to Us (39 page)

She sighed.

“That’s as good as it’s going to get, I suppose. Still, it will be nice, even if I can’t have wine.” We talked some more about dresses and shoes and everything was all set. We had two and a half weeks until the event, but there was one thing standing in the way of my enjoyment of getting to go.

Friday. The Board meeting. Dad had said he wanted to warn me, but really all he’d done was set me into panic mode. I did a lot better than I would have before a few months ago, but I still wasn’t able to put it out of my mind completely. Sex was really the only time when my thoughts were consumed by something else. As a result, I couldn’t keep my hands off Lucah.

Ryder had turned a corner and could often be found borrowing one of our laptops to fill out job applications, and he was always off for interviews and so forth. Lucah and I both helped him with his résumé. As a result of having to leave off so much of his work experience because he’d gotten fired from so many jobs, we padded it a little with his other skills.

“Is saying ‘fuck’ a skill? Because I’m fucking good at that,” he said one afternoon as I was checking it, yet again. I was typing and he kept hovering over my shoulder and making comments. It was beyond irritating.

“Sorry, but no. You must have some skills from all the jobs you’ve had.” He thought about that for a moment before answering.

“I gave my friend a tattoo once. It came out pretty good.”

I turned my head to look at him to see if he was serious. “So you want to be a tattoo artist?”

He shrugged one shoulder. “No, I’m just pointing out that I
could
be a tattoo artist.” I stared at him for a minute.

“Never mind. Uh, I rigged up a buddy’s videogame system to play in his bathroom.”

Okay, that was somewhat impressive, so I changed the wording a little and added it to the list of skills. I also really wanted to see this bathroom videogame system.

“Genius.” He gave me a fist bump and I was reminded a bit of his brother. They were so much alike sometimes.

“What are we fist bumping?” Lucah said, coming over with three cups of coffee.

“Your woman making my résumé seem much less pathetic than it actually is. She’s not just a hot piece of ass.” Before Lucah could reprimand him, I reached over my shoulder and grabbed hold of Ryder’s ear and pinched it between my fingers.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” he said, wiggling to get away. Lucah just laughed.

“You asked for it.”

I finally let go and gave him a look that I hoped he understood.

“Rip my ear off, why don’t you?” he said, rubbing it.

“Next time I will. You keep your smart mouth to yourself.”

“Yes, Miss Clarke,” he said in a mocking tone.

“Watch it,” Lucah said, pointing at him.

“Fuck you,” Ryder said. And that was the end of that.

Sloane and Ryder still couldn’t take their eyes off each other, but they didn’t appear to be taking things any further than that. I almost asked Sloane about it a dozen times, but I kept my mouth shut. I’d tried meddling before and that had crashed and burned, so I was going to stay out of it as much as possible.

Lucah and I kept to our new ritual of sharing the things that bothered us before we went to sleep. They varied from me being irritated that he didn’t clean the sink after he shaved, to him being annoyed by one of the other software developers’ mouth breathing tendencies, to me being bugged by the Board of Directors. That was my key annoyance. Actually, it went beyond annoyance. I was pissed off about the whole thing, and had been for a while. It was going to take everything in me to keep my mouth shut at that meeting if Dad did what I had the feeling he was going to do.

The work days seemed endless, but finally Friday dawned. Cold, rainy and miserable, but at least it matched my mood.

“Are you nervous?” Lucah said as he did my hair in a power twist and I slipped on my favorite red heels.

“Does a bear shit in the woods?” He met my eyes in the mirror and laughed. “What? I heard Ryder say it the other day and I decided to add it to my verbal repertoire.”

Lucah just shook his head and added a few more pins until my hair was hurricane-proof.

“You’re going to be fine. No, better than fine. You’re going to be magnificent.” He rested his chin on my shoulder.

“Magnificent? Such high praise.” I turned my head and he kissed my cheek.

“You are.”

Magnificence aside, I was nervous as hell, and jittery from lack of sleep the night before. Part of me wished Dad hadn’t told me about the meeting at all. I’d almost rather be caught unaware than be in the emotional place I was. He’d given me just enough information to worry over, but not enough to be comforting.

“I wish I could crawl into that head of yours and reassure you.” Lucah said, tapping the top of my head.

“That sounds both painful and invasive,” I said as I went to grab my purse and Lucah his briefcase.

Ryder waved goodbye from the couch, where he had a bowl of cereal perched on his stomach and was flipping through the channels.

“Have fun at work, kids,” he said, waving.

“Don’t break anything,” Lucah said as we closed the door.

I couldn’t have gotten through the day without Lilia. She made a list of the things I needed to do and kept sending me emails reminding me of each thing while keeping me thoroughly supplied with decaf. I was hoping for the placebo effect since any coffee would probably be bad for me in my current state.

I thought about going to see Dad and asking him if he could fill me in, but I didn’t want to put any more pressure on him than he was already under. I just wanted it to be over. For me to go back to enjoying work, and for Dad to go back to looking healthy and happy. That was all I wanted.

“It’s time,” Lilia said, knocking on my door when it was time to go to the meeting. She’d offered to come, since I probably wouldn’t be in a position to take any notes.

Violet was also coming from her office and she smiled when she saw me. Lilia slipped past me to take her seat.

“How are things going?” Violet said as a few other people trickled past us to sit down.

“Oh, you know,” I said with a shrug. “How are things with you?”

She shrugged. “Same old, same old.” We both seemed to be trying to keep things on a business level. “Cute shoes.”

“Thanks, yours are gorgeous.” She turned her foot and let me admire the yellow pumps with little bows on them. More people filed past, saying hello and greeting me. I kept a smile on my face, even when Hal walked by. I smiled so much it hurt. I’d kill those bastards with kindness. I’d drown them in it.

“Well, we should probably go in,” Violet said, motioning to the room.

“Right,” I said, and she walked in and took her seat and I took mine next to Lilia. Lucah wasn’t here, and I wished (in addition to the time machine) that I had a way to beam him up from his office so he could be with me. Not because I couldn’t do this on my own, but just to have him here. My security boyfriend.

This time another member of the Board, Mr. Buckley, called the meeting to order. I tried not to stare at Dad, but it was hard. Mr. Buckley read the minutes of the last meeting and then the agenda for this meeting. Nothing earth-shattering. It was an absolutely normal meeting, which we actually hadn’t had in a while.

But then Hal cleared his throat and stood up. I tried to keep my face impassive, but I wasn’t sure if I did very well.

“Before we get to that, I think we need to address something.” Dad’s face was grim when I turned my head to look at him. This was it.

Everyone else’s attention snapped to Hal and there were several looks of confusion, but most looked like they’d expected this. Of course they had, they’d planned it.

“As everyone is aware, this company has been through a lot recently, and some of the stockholders and members of the Board are wondering if this . . . unpleasantness could have been prevented.” Hal walked from his chair to the front of the room. He passed by me and I had the overwhelming urge to back my chair up and trip him. But I refrained. Lilia scribbled something on her legal pad and pushed it toward me. I had a momentary flashback of doing the same thing with Lucah. But that was a completely different situation.

What’s going on?

I took my eyes off Hal for the two seconds it took for me to scrawl a response.

Wait and see.

Hal was continuing to go on about how the company had been through a lot and the importance of leadership and so on and so forth. Just get to the fucking point.

“This company was founded by Walter Clarke and he’s been our fearless leader for many years, but, as I said, some feel that it is time for him to pass the torch to someone else.” He was about to continue when another voice cut through the room.

“No.”

Dad stood up and the attention instantly switched from Hal to him. Lilia inhaled sharply, sensing the shift.

“Hal, I know what you’re trying to do, and I’m going to ask you not to do it. This isn’t the way. I’ve known you for over half my life and I’m asking you not to do this.” I’d been looking at Dad, but I had to stop. He wasn’t talking to Hal Marksman, member of the Board of Directors. He was talking to his friend Hal that he went golfing with and whose wife was friends with his wife and with whom he had shared numerous trials and tribulations.

“Walter, you know this isn’t personal. This is for the good of the company.”

“The good of the company? Really, Hal? This is my company. I AM this company. Everyone in this room is. We wouldn’t be where we are without each and every one of you. Yes, we have been through a lot, and we have put measures in place to ensure nothing like this ever happens again. Everyone in this room is part of that. So let’s drop this and move on. Move forward.” He was giving Hal an out. To get out without things getting ugly. I held my breath and hoped Hal would take it. I did a quick scan around the room with my eyes, trying to judge what everyone else thought, but I couldn’t tell.

Hal cleared his throat again.

“We’re past that point already, Walter. We need to take action now. If you don’t voluntarily step down, we will have to vote you out. It’s come to that.” Hal wasn’t going to budge. It was as if everyone in the entire room was holding their collective breaths. Dad shook his head sadly.

“Well, good luck, Hal. I already have the majority of stockholders on my side. If you call a vote, you will lose, and then I will be forced to call a vote and impeach you. Please don’t make me have to do that. You will lose and you’re a valuable member of this company and a friend. Don’t end it like this.”

For the first time since he spoke, Hal was speechless. He hadn’t counted on that. Dad continued.

“I also happen to know you’ve done some backhanded things to try to win votes over to your side. I am willing to overlook those things if you are willing to drop this now, and let us never speak of it again. That’s my offer. Take it or leave it.”

He spread his arms out and waited.

A range of emotions crossed over Hal’s face. Anger, betrayal, irritation, shock. None of them were good. He coughed again and shook his head.

Dad seemed to ignore Hal.

“In light of what has just happened, I think this calls for an emergency meeting on Monday to further discuss what has been brought to light today. I expect everyone in this room to be there and if some major changes, including those in staff, need to be made.” Dad scanned the room, making eye contact with each and every person in the room, even me before he sat down.

Hal’s voice broke the silence following Dad’s speech. “This isn’t the end of this, Walter. For now, it will be. But this isn’t over.” That was a threat if I’d ever heard one. Something told me that Dad and Hal’s relationship would never be the same after today. It was a shame. They’d been such close friends for so long. I’d only been friends with Sloane since college and losing her would be like losing one of my arms.

Hal and Dad sat back down and there was the largest silence I’d ever experienced in my life. Someone coughed and then Mr. Buckley cleared his throat and tried to get the meeting back on track. As if the previous incident hadn’t happened. It took a moment, but soon everyone was back in meeting mode. Except me, of course. And Hal. And Dad. I kept trying to catch his eye, but he wouldn’t look at me. Lilia passed me another note.