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His mom hooked her arm through his and leaned on his shoulder. “I’m not sure you have, either.”

They both knew it wasn’t because Braden wasn’t happy, or hadn’t always been. He’d just always been looking for something, even when he didn’t know what. Maybe he did now. “Does it bother you?” he asked her after a minute of silence.

“Braden Jeffrey Roth, I can’t believe you even asked me that. You know all we’ve ever wanted is for our kids to be happy. And it’s not like we haven’t known this for a very long time.”

“Yeah, but you always knew there was the possibility of a woman, too. You knew I dated mostly women. It’s one thing to know I like men, too, and another to know I’m
in love
with one.”

“In whose book?” She hugged his arm tighter. “Not in ours, and not in yours, either. You know that, Brady. I just want you to be able to look back when you’re my age and be as happy as I am. We’ll love whoever can give you that, and we’ll kick anyone’s ass who can’t.”

He looked down at her. “Don’t let Jess hear you talk like that.”

“Would never happen. Unlike you, I know when to open my mouth and when not to.”

With his other hand, Braden held her arm. Jessie and Wes went racing down the hill again, Wes walking up it slower and slower each time. Jessie didn’t look like she was going to tire at any second.

“You’re right. I don’t know why I asked that. I’m feeling a little out of my element, and that’s never happened before. I didn’t expect this.” He didn’t know if Wes would want it. “He has a lot he’s dealing with right now. I’ve been known to push, Ma. I don’t wanna push if he’s not ready.”

“You’ll do the right thing. We may tease you, but when it comes down to it, you always do the right thing. It’s just who you are.” She patted his hand and then pulled away. “Now get dressed and go out there and help the poor boy. She’s going to wear him into the ground if you don’t. You guys are going to have your hands full with that girl. You mark my words.” She winked at him, and Braden wondered if she thought Wes might love him, too.

“Thanks, Ma.” Braden didn’t hesitate. He went straight for his jacket and boots, hoping his mom was right. Hoping he’d do the right thing, and that Wes would give him some kind of sign as to when to do it.

***

W
es watched as Braden and Jock traipsed up the hill with Jessie for the hundredth time. They’d been taking turns ever since Braden came out a little while before. Just like Wes did, he struggled to carry her in her ten pounds of snow gear, plus the sled up the hill; only Braden had Jock trying to play with him, too.

He watched as Braden tripped, managing to catch himself before he went down. Wes laughed. “Need some help up there?” he called.

“Shut up!”

Wes laughed again. “I’ll help if you ask real nicely.”

“Shut up!” Braden called down again as he heard Jessie scolding him because “shut up” wasn’t nice.

Wes couldn’t take his eyes off the back of them. Jessie in her pink and green gear. Jock jumping on them. Braden in his dark blue jacket with a matching beanie on his head. His mind went back to the paints, the gift Braden had given him that no one else would have. How he came to them any time they needed him. Seeing him with Jessie. The feel of his hands on Wes.

He didn’t want it to stop. None of it. He wanted more, and it was scary as fuck because he knew how temporary things were. Nothing in his life had ever really stuck, but he wanted Braden to.

Wes wasn’t stupid. He knew he had been partially to blame, maybe more so with Alexander. He struggled opening himself up. He didn’t give himself to Alexander the way he should have...but Alexander hadn’t been willing to fight for him, either. He’d easily been able to walk away. Christ, he hoped Braden wouldn’t walk away. That he wouldn’t disappoint the man.

Wes started going up the hill toward Braden and Jessie. They weren’t too far ahead of him, Braden dragging because of the weight he carried. As though he knew Wes made his way toward them, he stopped and turned. His face was red because of the cold, but he smiled that happy fucking smile that only Braden gave, and he realized he would risk anything for it. For the first time, he would really risk anything.

“About time, Wesley,” he said to Wes when he reached them. It was as though he knew what Wes had been thinking—as though he meant more than just Wes climbing up the hill.

“I’m here now.”

“That’s all that matters.” He handed Jessie to him as the little girl wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Thank you,” Wes told him but Braden just shook his head.

“You don’t have anything to thank me for.”

But he really did. “Come on. Let’s get to the top.”

The three of them, plus Jock, finished climbing up the hill. When they got to the top, Braden sat on the sled with Jessie between his legs and his arms around her. Then he scooted forward with them. “Get on here.”

This is where Wes would usually second guess himself, but hell, he wanted to be like Braden—no hesitation at all. So he did. He climbed on behind Braden. They pushed off, Jessie cheering as they raced down the hill. Jock ran beside them, kicking up snow as they went.

They did it three more times, and on the fourth, when they made it to the bottom of the hill, the sled hit something and they all rolled off. Braden held Jessie again, Wes having held her the time before.

As soon as he hit the ground, he jerked into a sitting position, his heart hammering. “Jess, you okay?”

She lay on top of Braden and started laughing. “Hey. Not funny, Squirt.” But he was laughing too. Then Wes fell onto his back, looking up at the sky, joining them.

“Let’s do it again!” Jessie squealed.

“No,” he and Braden both said at the same time, and he wondered, wondered if Chelle saw them right now, and hoped she thought they were doing a good job with Jessie. If he was doing a good job with himself.

––––––––

T
hey’d just finished Christmas dinner when Wes grabbed Braden’s arm as he walked down the hall toward the bathroom.

“You’re limping. What happened?” Wes asked him.

“Nothing. Fucked up my ankle a little that last time down the hill. It’s no biggie.”

Wes cocked his head a little, opened his mouth as though he was going to say something, but then kissed him instead. It took Braden a second to open his mouth, to let his tongue wrestle with Wes’s, because he hadn’t expected it. They were alone in the hallway, but still, Wes didn’t usually do shit like this. He definitely didn’t kiss Braden when anyone could walk by and see them. That made things more serious than Wes wanted them.

“What was that for?”

“I wanted to kiss you. Got a problem with it?” Wes teased.

“You got jokes now, Wesley, or what? Who are you, and what did you do with the Wes I know?” But he liked it. Fuck yeah, he liked it.

“You should have said something. I feel bad.”

Braden brushed it off. “What would you have done? It’s not a big deal. Hurts a little. It’ll be fine by tomorrow.”

“Aw, you don’t like that you got hurt, do you? You’re human, too. I know you can do just about anything, but looks like you’re simply a man like the rest of us.” Wes had laughter in his voice. He moved to walk down the hall and back to the living room, but this time it was Braden who grabbed his arm.

“Say it again.”

“What?” Wes asked.

“The part where you said I can do anything.”

Wes looked up and shook his head as if he didn’t know what to do with Braden. “Only you.”

“But you like me, remember?”

“I remember,” Wes told him, and then walked away.

The rest of the night was pretty laid back. The kids ran around the house and played with their new toys. Braden and his dad took Wes to the shop to show him the motorcycle. Wes and Jessie called home and spoke with Lydia and her family. It was comfortable. They fit in with his family naturally, and Braden wondered if Wes realized it.

Since they’d had such a busy day, everyone when to bed early, including Wes and Jessie. Braden lay on the futon, staring into the dark, unable to sleep. His mom was right. He was in love with Wes. There was a small part of him that was a little freaked out over the idea just because—well, love was serious shit. It changed everything, especially with Jessie in the picture. Jock had always been the biggest responsibility he had—excluding his job. There was this little tug of fear that he hadn’t expected—what if he fucked it up?

Braden shook his head, not willing to let himself think that way. He reached over and grabbed his phone.

U awake?
He texted Wes.

Yeah. What if I wasn’t, though?

U’d be awake now

Haha.

His fingers hovered over the screen, trying to figure out what else to say, or why he’d texted in the first place.

Jess ok?

He hoped like hell she wasn’t having a night like she had Christmas Eve.

It took Wes a minute to reply.

Yes.

Ah, so it’s just u who missed me.

What? You texted me.

Exactly.

There was another stall, but he didn’t regret hinting that he missed him. Finally, Wes replied, and Braden hoped he wasn’t pulling back again.

I’m glad I’m here.

Braden smiled into the dark.

Me too.

***

T
oday was their last full day with Braden’s family. They had plans to go into Denver to an indoor mall with ice-skating, and other Christmas activities with the kids. Jessie was excited as hell to go. Wes could see Braden favor his ankle each time he stepped, and knew he was ignoring it for Jess.

“Hey. Maybe we should sit this one out,” he told Braden as everyone was getting packed up to go. Like Wes knew he would, Braden shook his head.

“Nah. It’s cool. She’ll be heartbroken if we can’t go. I’m fine. I’ll just ice it and put it up tonight.”

It was little things like that that showed Wes more and more than he wanted this man in his life. Wanted to keep him there. He took a step closer. “Braden—”

“Do you want us to take Jessie?” Emmy approached them. “Sorry, didn’t mean to eavesdrop. Okay maybe just a little. But I wouldn’t mind, if you think she’ll be okay with it.”

His immediate response was, “No, that’s okay. Thanks, though.” He didn’t feel right with Jessie going with them if he and Braden weren’t there. The only time she hadn’t been with him since Chelle died was when she was in school, with Lydia, or Braden. Thinking of her in Denver without them made his stomach sour.

“Are you sure?” Emmy asked. “I know Brady won’t stay unless someone forces him. Plus, we’d love to have her.”

“Grandma and Papa spoil all the kids.” Braden’s sister Yvonne smiled as she walked by, her hand on her pregnant belly. Her words almost knocked him on his ass. Jessie wasn’t their granddaughter. The poor kid didn’t even know what it was like to have grandparents. He suddenly wished she did.

Emmy reached up and touched his cheek. “We’ll take care of your girl, Wes.”

The funny thing was, he didn’t doubt it. Still, he wasn’t sure...

Wes met Braden’s eyes. “It’s your call. You want to go, we’ll go. If you think she’ll be okay without us, we’ll stay, and I’ll make you take care of me.” Braden winked.

“Shh. None of that in front of your mama. You let me know what you want to do, okay?” Emmy walked away.

“I’ll be good if you wanna go.” Braden leaned against the wall.

And he did...but he wanted to stay with Braden, too—to be here for him the way Braden was there for them. Yeah it was a silly, a sprained ankle, but walking around all day wouldn’t help it. Skating would definitely be a no-go for him.

“Let me see how Jessie feels about it.”

Braden nodded and Wes went into the living room, where Jessie was running circles with...he couldn’t remember the little boy’s name.

“Jess, come here for a second. I want to ask you something.”

She made a beeline for him and wrapped her arms around his legs. Wes laughed before untangling her and kneeling down. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea for Braden to walk around today because of his ankle. How would you feel if Emmy looked after you today and I stayed here to help Braden?”

She tried to roll her eyes but really just moved her whole head. “Silly, Uncle Wes. I’m a big girl, ’member? I want to go now. Can you ask Emmy if we can go now? I like her.”

Well...that was easy. “Are you sure?”

She gave him another eye roll. Wes kissed her on the forehead. “Let me help you get into your jacket and everything. You guys are leaving in a minute.”

She followed him to the hall closest where their coats were. Braden happened to be standing there, too.

“You guys don’t get to have any fun today.” Jessie tugged on his shirt.

“I’m sure we’ll figure something out. Will you drink a cup of hot chocolate for me?” Braden asked her. Jessie nodded her head. Fifteen minutes later, the clan of Roths plus Jessie filed out the door and climbed into a couple different vehicles. Through the front window he watched while Emmy fastened Jessie into a booster seat, and then they were gone.

“Wanted to be alone with me, huh?” Braden nudged him.

“Someone has to keep you out of trouble.”

“Funny man. What do you want to do?”

“Food?” Wes asked.

“Food,” Braden confirmed. They hadn’t eaten this morning because they planned to get food in Denver.

They ate leftover ham from Christmas and some eggs at the kitchen table.

“Jess hasn’t had any more problems since Christmas eve?” Braden asked him before eating a bite of ham.

Wes shook his head. “No. That was killer, though. It rips my heart out to see her like that.”

“She’s going to have her bad days and her good days. She’s a happy little girl. You’re incredible with her. You give her everything you can.”

Those words penetrated any remaining armor Wes had. They meant the world to him. Not just because he loved Jessie so much, but because he was pretty sure he loved Braden, too. “Thanks, man. I...seriously, thanks. You are, too, though. She loves you.”

Braden set his fork down, his eyes searching for something inside Wes. What, he didn’t know, but he hoped Braden found it. “Guess you’re gonna have to keep me around then.”