Spiritual Care: A Guide for Caregivers (21 page)

Hearing these stories brought the congregation to tears and to a
new sense of commitment. They felt compassion for these very
real people. The pile of donated food got a lot larger! And giving
became an act of true caring, not just a guilt-inspired duty.

However, vision is more than an emotional response. A vision
that motivates and sustains commitment needs to be clearly
focused and fairly concrete. Two different kinds of vision for a lay
visitor program might be "reaching our community for Christ" and "encouraging our homebound members." The former would
require outgoing volunteers who enjoy meeting new people and
stepping boldly into unknown situations. The latter would suit
someone who enjoys more intimate, long-term relationships. Both
vision statements are clearly focused and measurable. But these
are two different ministries.

Other vehicles for communicating vision include writing articles about the ministry for a church newsletter, a denominational
magazine or even the local paper. Local papers look for interesting
community events and services to cover. You can share your
vision and your stories with a reporter who will write the article
for you. Not only will your own volunteers be thrilled with seeing
themselves and their ministry in print (often with photographs),
but others in the community may catch the vision as well.

If you feel comfortable with public speaking, you can volunteer
to share your vision at area pastoral associations, senior citizen
groups or interest groups in other churches. I am currently
spreading the vision for parish nursing to churches in my area.
First I spoke at the local interdenominational ministerial meeting.
Then calls started coming from those pastors, inviting me to speak
to the nurses in their congregations. Programs began in seven of
those churches. Now I am speaking to other ministerial groups,
teaching spiritual care at our local hospital and encouraging parish nurses in the community. A warning here: Spreading the
vision may create more new opportunities than you can handle, so
be prepared to set priorities.

Once you have communicated the vision, you will begin with a
group of enthusiastic volunteers. Parish nursing is a good example. The idea has caught on like wildfire. Nurses around the world have caught the vision. Nurses who are dissatisfied with the
impersonal managed-care approach often see parish nursing as
"what I always wanted to do." Retired nurses frequently see parish nursing as a way to continue in a profession they loved.

A caution: Well-intentioned but untrained volunteers may do
more harm than good. Parish nursing requires a deep understanding of the faith-health connection, up-to-date nursing knowledge
and skills in spiritual care and community assessment. As I began
to meet with parish nurses, I heard stories that raised grave concern. Some of these nurses were so rusty in their nursing skills
that they were missing serious signs and symptoms. They had no
idea how or where to refer people for help. They did not know
how to meet spiritual needs and often turned to inappropriate
alternatives. Now I am working with others in my community and
denomination, as well as with Nurses Christian Fellowship, to
educate volunteer parish nurses.

Training programs for volunteers can take several forms. An
intensive orientation is a good way to start. The program might
last one day or a week, depending on the complexity of the job.
Elements to include in an orientation include the following:

❑ a statement of the biblical basis of the ministry

❑ the mission and beliefs of the particular church or organization
providing the ministry

❑ an overview of how the ministry functions, including its history

❑ a clear job description

❑ resources available to do the job

❑ procedures for reporting and accountability

❑ an assessment of participants' needs and desires for continuing
education and support

Training programs for adult volunteers must meet felt needs in order to be successful. To some extent you will want to allow the
group to set the agenda, but you will also need to provide structure and resources. Beginning with the job description provides
some specific areas to cover. Let's say that the job description for
lay visitors in your church reads, "Lay visitors will call on the seriously ill and/or homebound members of the congregation in order
to extend spiritual care and companionship."

The first concern to arise will probably be the mechanics of the
visit. What do I do and say? How often should Igo? How long should I
stay? Generate some discussion by asking participants to share
their experiences in visiting sick people, both positive and negative. Most will have positive experiences to share, or they
wouldn't be volunteering now, but others may raise concerns and
fears. The discussion will give you clues about possible topics to
offer in the training program. Let's listen in on a possible interaction:

Mary: I went to deliver the sermon videotape to Louella last
week. Louella is not a talker, and sometimes I get the feeling that
she'd rather not have any visitors. But she looked so lonely, I
asked if we could watch the tape together. She really lit up! After
the tape was over, she talked and talked, and we prayed together.

Lester: I wouldn't know what to do if someone asked me to pray
out loud. That just wasn't something I grew up with. People in
this group seem so free about just talking to God like a good
buddy, but I always thought you had to talk to God like you were
talking to a king.

Bob: I feel the same way, but I think I'd like to learn how to pray
more naturally.

Nancy: Well, I went to see Katherine yesterday, and all I could
do was pray-for myself as well as her! She was in such misery. I
don't understand why God allows her to suffer so. I feel guilty going in there all healthy and busy about life, while she lies there
with only the four walls. She can't even get up in a chair anymore.
I didn't know what to say, so I stayed about five minutes and left.

Mildred: When my mother was dying there was one dear woman
who came to see her every day. She never said much; she just
brought her knitting and sat with Mom for an hour or so. Sometimes she held her hand or told her little tidbits of news, but usually, she just sat there. Mom always looked forward to Emma's
visits. I guess just being there speaks as loudly as words at a time
like that.

Some clear themes have begun to emerge in this conversation.
Participants are concerned about the mechanics of visitation.
They seem to want help on how to conduct themselves during a
home visit, especially if the person they are visiting doesn't talk or
appear to welcome their presence. Some are concerned about the
form and substance of prayer and how to pray with others. Concern about suffering and death surfaced. At the same time, some
potential mentors are becoming apparent. Mary showed some creativity in her visit with Louella and seemed to move easily into
conversation and prayer. Perhaps she could be teamed up with
Lester or Bob. Mildred has learned the value of presence from
personal experience. Maybe she could go with Nancy the next
time she visits Katherine. It also appears evident that this group
would welcome a course on how to provide spiritual care.

The next step is to determine the most effective type of learning
for your group. Groups such as Nurses Christian Fellowship,
Hospital Christian Fellowship, parish-nurse support groups,
Christian Medical and Dental Society, Stephen Ministers and
some denominational groups offer various programs for health
care professionals and for lay visitors. Attending such a program
will not only provide an organized approach and solid content but will also foster networking with others and inspire participants
with a bigger vision. This tends to break through the "we've never
done it this way" objections.

For instance, when Janice tried to encourage lay visitors to
pray with those they visited, several women in the group insisted,
"It's just not Lutheran to do that! Prayer is a private matter." Then
they attended a denominationally sponsored prayer conference
that encouraged conversational prayer. Now they felt permission
to try it. Before long they had not only begun praying with others
but even organized a weekly prayer group and an emergency
prayer chain in the church.

Outside speakers who come to your group to present a program or lead a course will often be seen as more credible and
authoritative than you or a member of your group. Asking someone from another church or a ministry organization to speak to
your group will often expand their vision and increase the possibilities for ministry. For example, we recently had two speakers
from a multichurch ministry that serves homebound people in the
community. They shared their vision, told stories and explained
their needs. Several of our church members volunteered to help
and began attending a monthly volunteers' support group. They
now bring ideas and challenges back to our own congregation.

Providing a regular opportunity for participants in your program to study Scripture together, share experiences and encourage one another will serve as an ongoing form of learning. As
participants share, be alert for ways to reinforce principles already
covered, and attempt to discern needs for further help. For
instance, at one meeting several members began to discuss how
they could "cheer up" two individuals who appeared clinically
depressed. They were frustrated by weeks of unsuccessful
attempts. "After all," one woman decreed, "depression is a sin; real Christians should be joyful." They decided to invite a Christian
counselor to speak to the group about the dynamics of depression
and how to support those who were depressed.

Further possibilities for training programs include book discussions and Bible studies. Excellent new training materials are constantly being produced, in addition to those listed in the
bibliography that follows this chapter.

"You can't give what you don't got," the saying goes. You don't
have to have a seminary education or know all the answers to
tough questions to meet spiritual needs. You do need a vital relationship with God and a willingness to share that with others.
Whenever you work with people, there will be times when you are
misunderstood, unappreciated and even abused. We are sinners
working with sinners. Don't be surprised when difficulties arise.

When we are volunteering in a church or Christian ministry,
conflict usually catches us by surprise. We are easily tempted to
withdraw to our corners and sulk-or try to get even. Interestingly, the Bible deals with conflict head-on. Jesus' disciples fought
over which of them was the greatest (Mk 9:34). Paul got into a tiff
with Peter (Gal 2), confronting him about his hypocrisy. Apparently Paul was so disappointed in John Mark that he refused to
let him go along to Antioch (Acts 15:38). The New Testament
Epistles make frequent references to squabbles among the believers, including a disagreement between Euodia and Syntyche that
needed third-party mediation (Phil 4:2).

The Bible makes it clear that conflict is inevitable but that we
need to deal with it and get on with ministry. Hebrews exhorts us,
"Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak
knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed. Pursue peace
with everyone, and the holiness without which no one will see the
Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no
root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and through it
many become defiled" (Heb 12:12-15).

Pursuing peace does not mean that we pretend the conflict
doesn't exist or that we capitulate whenever someone disagrees. It
does require us to hear out our opponents, then forgive them and
love them, even if we disagree. Serving in Christ's name is more
important than protecting our pride.

We don't have to build a case for our position; we should not
foster discord by passing on bitter feelings and angry thoughts.
Peter tells us, "Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy,
love for one another, a tender heart, and a humble mind" (1 Pet
3:8). And Paul exhorts, "Therefore encourage one another and
build up each other" (1 Thess 5:11).

How can we build each other up? The letter to the Hebrews
provides some guidelines: "Let us hold fast to the confession of
our hope without wavering, for he who has promised is faithful.
And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good
deeds, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but
encouraging one another" (Heb 10:23-25).

First, we need to keep our eyes focused on Jesus, whom we
have confessed as our hope. When we are each trying to follow
and serve Jesus, we will eventually end up walking in the same
direction. And when we find ourselves facing constant suffering,
death and failure, we can still know that Jesus has promised to be
faithful. Our work is not in vain. Because we must be grounded in
this hope in order to minister in Christ's name, our meetings
should include Bible study, prayer and worship.

Second, we need to meet together to encourage one another in love and good works. Acknowledge the things others are doing
well, struggle with them through their failures, pray for each
other. Be vulnerable. Share your own joys and struggles. When
you feel tempted to stay home and put your feet up instead of
attending the support group meeting, remember that your absence
is discouraging to the others. We need each other.

God has extended to us the privilege of ministering in his name.
Caring for the spiritual needs of others allows us to tread on holy
ground; we enter into partnership with the God of the universe.
While the world around us seeks to tear down and destroy, the
Lord has appointed us as agents of reconciliation as he builds his
kingdom in our midst. This work is a wonderful and eternal
investment.