Skaia (71 page)

Castor was in the kitchen, sitting at the table, when Skaia came, hoping for a late breakfast. Over the last few months, Castor had willingly relinquished more and more of his duties to Phaelas. Skaia still remembered what Castor had been like when he first came here. The old slave had become softer over the years. Always obedient. Always demanding obedience. But kind now, when he could be.

Telling Skaia to get some bread and oil, Castor invited him to sit. “How are you?” he asked. “Is the transition back to Glaucus going well?”

Skaia was very tempted to say that everything was fine… But he couldn’t force out the words. “I… don’t think he likes me now, Castor. He wouldn’t even let me serve at breakfast.”

“
You hated doing that when Thaddeus asked you,” Castor smiled. “Are you sure you’re not looking for excuses to be unhappy?”

Am I?
Skaia wondered.

But before he could answer, Castor touched his hand. “Where is your ring?”

“
Master Glaucus made me return it, sir.”

The old man looked up. “That was to be expected. Give him some time, Skaia. He just got home, and a lot in his life has changed.” His old hand patted Skaia’s gently. “Masters are the only things that give our lives meaning. But their lives contain so much more than us. We are irrelevant, except for the service we provide. Glaucus and Thaddeus have this big dinner tomorrow night. And Glaucus must also prepare for his new job, and for his marriage. All he needs from you right now, is that you cause him no problems. Just obey him, and make no demands.”

Irrelevant?
“Obedience. Is that your answer to everything, Castor?”

The old slave smiled. “It is the easiest way for us to live, Skaia. To avoid punishments and pain.”

“
And that is all you ever hoped for?” Skaia asked resentfully. “To avoid punishment?”

Shaking his head, Castor replied, “It’s never been enough for you, has it? You’ve always wanted something more.”

“
Is that so wrong?”

Castor hesitated only for a second. “You set yourself up for continual disappointment, Skaia—and the next time you try to kill yourself, maybe no one will want to stop you.”

Skaia stood abruptly. Without Thaddeus, no one would care now if he died. The thought left him shaken. “Yes, sir.” He took a deep breath. “Do you know where Nicea is, sir?”

“
He’s cleaning Thaddeus’ bath. Gotus went with him after breakfast, but Gotus has other duties to attend to. Nicea could probably use some help.”

“
Is Thaddeus there sir, with him?”

“
Oh, no. He and Glaucus left early for the forum to shop, just after breakfast.”

And didn’t tell me…
“Thank you, sir.” He left quickly, before Castor could speak again.

Nicea looked up from inside the pool when Skaia approached him. “Is something wrong, sir?” he asked anxiously.

Skaia saw that the boy’s hair was wet. The full bath had come more quickly than he had expected. “No,” he answered, shaking his head and forcing a smile. “I just wanted to talk with you.”

“
Why?” Nicea had lowered his eyes, and Skaia could see that his hands were shaking.

He settled on the ledge close to him. “It’s alright Nicea. I’m harmless. I won’t hurt you. Why are you upset?” He could hardly question the new boy if he was still so fearful.

“
Please don’t make the masters send me away, sir.” Nicea’s voice was trembling. “I will do my very best for them. I promise, sir. Please.”

Skaia was shocked. “What do you think I could do?” he asked incredulously. After last night, he was sure he had no influence with anyone.

“
You could tell the masters to sell me.”

“
No one wants my opinion, Nicea,” Skaia laughed softly. “And, even if they did, I would never say such a thing. Why do you think I would want you to be sold?”

Nicea raised his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

It suddenly occurred to Skaia why Nicea would think such a thing—he had been with Thaddeus last night. And thought they had become rivals, both of them seeking approval from the same men.
Oh, Belenus…

Skaia didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to talk about it. Most certainly did not want Nicea to know he was hurt by it. “Let me help you,” he said instead, climbing into the bath.

Nicea looked at him strangely, before quickly looking down and accepting the offer. “Thank you, sir. I did all that Gotus said, but I don’t know what to do next.”

He doesn’t want to think about it
,
either,
Skaia realized, and relaxed just a little. He felt at the sides of the small pool. There was just a little grit left from the salts and clay. “Wipe the surfaces with wet cloths until all the salts are gone. Then polish with dry cloths.” Skaia began to work and smiled when Nicea copied what he did. “Did you not have bathing chambers at your old homes?” he asked.

“
Yes, sir. The masters had them. But I wasn’t responsible for cleaning them.”

A special slave, then—one waited on by others.
“Not even on the trip with Glaucus?” Skaia asked.

“
Mostly my master’s used public baths,” Nicea answered. And though he had been responsible for the tub at the house in Sparta, it had been nothing like this one. A plain thing, wooden and rough.

“
Did you go with them?” Skaia pressed, wanting to know how this boy had been treated.

“
Sometimes. They always wanted me clean. And they didn’t like to watch me clean myself… inside.”

Skaia blinked in surprise. “I didn’t know the baths had special places for slaves… for things like that.”

Nicea shook his head. “I think not many do. Just those affiliated with brothels. We… we stopped at some on the trip.”

Not a very happy experience,
Skaia thought. “I don’t think the baths that Thaddeus frequents do that.” He blushed. “When Thaddeus wanted it done… Castor does it for me.”

Like Leander and I helped each other,
Nicea thought, wondering if he would have to let Castor do such things for him too. He hoped not, but said nothing, and continued to polish the sides of the bath quietly.

“
Nicea, did you and Glaucus talk about things?” Skaia asked.

Talk about things?
“Not often, sir. Talking was seldom something masters wanted from me.”

“
Oh.” Skaia sighed in relief that Glaucus and this boy had not been close. Then it occurred to him what Nicea’s words actually meant.
He had been ignored.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“
Skaia, did Master Thaddeus talk to you?” Nicea asked tentatively. “Did he want you to talk to him?”

At this question, Skaia could smile. “Yes. When I could not go with Thaddeus, he would often tell me about his day. And he asked me about mine.” Skaia realized how much he would miss that. And he wondered why Nicea asked. “Didn’t Thaddeus talk to you last night?”

“
Yes, sir. Some. It made me… nervous, Skaia. He said I should look at him.”

Skaia laughed very softly. “You’ll get used to it. Master Thaddeus has very expressive eyes.”

So Skaia had liked being with Thaddeus.
“Did you and Glaucus talk?” Nicea asked.

Now Skaia’s expression sobered. “Not really,” he replied. “He was tired. He didn’t like my ring.” He glanced at his empty finger and hesitated. “Nicea, do you like Glaucus?”

Like him?
“Yes, sir. Of course, sir. He was… he was good to me. As were all the young Romans. But I… I do not let myself become fond of anyone, sir.”

There was an abundance of information in that simple utterance. Skaia focused only on the final part. “How can you live like that, Nicea, not caring for anyone?” 
Not being cared for by someone?

Nicea realized he’d said too much to this stranger.
How could Skaia do that to me?
But he answered. “Masters are transient, Skaia. I have had too many, to think any one special.”

“
But surely someone has touched your heart?”

Nicea nodded. “I… I cared about one of the slaves in my first house. He trained me.” A sigh followed, full of pain and regret. “I tried to protect him once, when he was to be punished for my mistake. And the master beat him badly.”
I was ordered to kill him, to put him out of his misery…
“He died.” Nicea’s breath hitched, almost a sob. But when he spoke again, his voice was controlled, with no sign of emotion. “I have tried not to care for anyone since then.”

Skaia didn’t know what to say. But he thought of Gotus. He’d worried for Gotus when Castor warned him of the danger to his friend, but he could not even imagine such a thing happening here. Could not imagine how he would have felt if he’d ever caused Gotus to be hurt. “Master Glaucus and Master Thaddeus would never do anything like that, Nicea. They wouldn’t.”

“
Perhaps not.”
Perhaps this is a much better place.
Nicea sincerely hoped it was. “But I would never take the chance again.”

“
Castor would approve of your attitude,” Skaia said softly. “I wish I could learn it.”

“
No, you don’t,” Nicea replied without looking up. “The lessons are very painful.”

Skaia just looked at him, wondering what he meant. But he did not ask.

Skaia and Nicea had finished with the pool and were still sitting on the ledge talking quietly about the new slave quarters, when Thaddeus returned. He looked at them strangely before he spoke. “Skaia, you should return to Glaucus now. He is expecting to find you in
his
rooms.”