Sexy Bastards Anthology: Bad Boy, Biker, Alpha, Motorcycle Club, Contemporary Romance Collection (46 page)

Chapter 8

Talia

I rolled over as soon as he was out of me.
Oh, my God.
Now I knew why I put up with not knowing much about Ellis. His cock was a magic wand and I was under its damn spell.

After pulling out, he’d done something with the condom and came behind me to wrap his body close around mine. His form molded perfectly to me, but he didn’t seem perfectly relaxed. He still felt a bit stiff, but maybe that’s just how he was. I cursed myself for not knowing him better, but that was short-lived when sleep began to take me. I was exhausted from the day, and as much as I wanted to roll over and stare into his mesmerizing eyes, I just couldn’t. My body was a useless heap of spent energy and I needed to sleep a little.

I’d been over to this little mobile home of his before but I’d never spent the night. What was the morning going to be like? It wasn’t like he could just take off. He lived here. And I certainly wasn’t going to just leave. I’d look into the crystal blue depths of his eyes in the early morning light and hopefully we’d make love again.

But was that what we were doing? Making love? Or were we just having sex? Two people who were very attracted to each other fulfilling a need in one another? I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that from the moment I’d met Ellis Anderson, he’d captured my heart.

I’d been furious with myself the moment I had actually admitted to myself that I had let him have my heart. I’d been lying to myself, saying the physical attraction was just that – someone to have fun with. But then every time we slept together, I realized I was chipping off a small part of my heart and soul a little more to him each time.

How the hell did people have “casual sex”? Because I most certainly wasn’t cut out for it. So why was I doing it? At first I didn’t know. All I knew was that when he was in my presence, I couldn’t say no to him. What did that make me? Some sort of whooped little girl?

I wasn’t sure. And it frustrated me that the lines were blurred so badly. I had wanted a definition to what we were. Boyfriend and girlfriend? Booty-call only? Future exes? I was going insane…

If I was just his “booty call” he wouldn’t take me out in public, right? He’d keep me on speed-dial and ask to come over when the need arose. That’s what it seemed like at first, and with me dealing with the death of my mother, the busyness of school, and my job, I sort of didn’t care. But now – six months into it – I should care, right?

I did care. I hated to admit it, but I did.

These thoughts were making me crazy. I drifted off to sleep with Ellis’s perfect body spooning me and told myself to stop overanalyzing shit and just enjoy him.

I sure hoped my heart would obey my mind one of these days.

When my eyes fluttered open the next morning, the confusion was replaced with annoyance. I was in Ellis’s bedroom, but I was alone.

Ellis was gone.

I threw back the covers and got up, stretched, and found his shirt on the floor. Shoving it over my head, I used his bathroom then wandered out into his living room. The whole entire mobile home was utterly quiet, I could practically hear crickets. Except it wasn’t night. Sun was streaming in through every window, and making my way to one of them, I could see his car in the same spot he’d left it the night before. Before he’d made love to me in his bed – more than once.

Although when I searched the entire home, Ellis was nowhere to be found. I unlocked and opened the back door, and with both arms wrapped around me, wandered out to what could be considered a backyard. It was nothing more than some patio furniture and a little grass, but he was nowhere.

I breathed in deep, gazing at the small park with the play equipment for kids off in the distance. It was vacant but I was sure later on, it would be full of kids.

Wandering back inside, I went into the kitchen and saw the clock on the microwave reading 8:22 a.m. Where the hell was my man?

I saw a coffee pot, and it was full. Pressing the flat of my hand to its glass body, I could feel the heat radiating there. I rummaged through the cabinets until I found a coffee mug and poured some into it. There was a small bottle of vanilla creamer in his fridge and I poured a little in to counteract the bitterness I knew the coffee would assault my tongue with.

I scrunched my nose as the coffee slid down my throat. It wasn’t the worst I’d tasted but I could definitely say I was officially a coffee snob. I took a few more sips and dumped the rest down the drain, rinsing out the cup and leaving it in the sink.

How could he just leave me here in his place? The urge to snoop around was overwhelming, but I just couldn’t. Would I want him nosing around my place as I slept or if I’d left?

I laughed at that. I’d never leave him asleep in my own damn bed. Fuck him for doing that to me. Maybe I
should
snoop around.

Sighing at my own morality, I shook my head and found my dress and purse strewn over the couch. I tossed Ellis’s shirt off and put on the bra, panties, dress, and purse, and smiled when I found my keys at the bottom of my purse. Then I cursed when I remembered my car was at my apartment, and I was trapped here.

Damn.

Pulling out my phone, I didn’t see any messages from Ellis. No text, no note, no nothing. I began to type furiously with my thumbs.

I don’t know where you are, but you need to get your ass back to your house. I need to get home.

I made no effort at being nice, courteous, or flirty. The longer I sat here, the more pissed off I got when I didn’t get a reply. After about an hour, I gave up hope that he had just left to go out and get breakfast or something. I was so out of here. I picked up my phone and searched through the contacts, hitting send when I located the one I wanted.

Chapter 9

Ellis

The motorcycle’s roar soothed my ears and relaxed me, then the vibration of my phone in my pocket made me stress up again. I knew it was her. She was texting me, asking where the hell I was. But I didn’t have an answer for her. I was everywhere and nowhere, driving down the interstate with no destination at all. And I didn’t care. I had to clear my head. I’d worn no helmet because I didn’t care about the law right now. I guess it was in my nature not to care. I’d practically started my life off as a criminal, hadn’t I?

Woman in love with an ex-con, gets pregnant by him, then has me… never met my dad ‘cause he ended up back behind bars, now serving a 25 year federal sentence for a drug crime and mom refused to bring me to a prison visiting room to see him. And did I care? Not really. Probably why I’d taken the path I’d taken. Drugs, guns, gang-banging. It was in my nature. It was what was comfortable to me. I shouldn’t be proud of that – and I wasn’t. The Marine Corps had shown me a whole different point of view. A side where you saved lives for no other reason than it was the right thing to do – not take lives because it served your selfish cause. As much of an adjustment that that had been for me, I had learned fast. A drill sergeant barking and spitting in my face about what a lowlife piece of shit I was didn’t faze me one bit. I already knew I was a lowlife piece of shit. What did faze me, though, was being sent 5,000 miles away, to the other side of the world, to defend and protect the freedoms of a country I knew didn’t give two fucks about me, the United States, or anything else good.

Still, I did what I was told. I loaded and cleaned and assembled and disassembled my weapon like they told me to. I slept and didn’t sleep when they’d told me to. I wore what and when they told me to wear. I never asked why. I never complained. The thought of prison and being forced back into a white supremacist gang kept my nose to the fucking grindstone. I wanted no part of any of that.

Do your four years, then you’re done.

You’re free.

You can do whatever you want.

Stay out of trouble.

Until one day, trouble found me. Well me, and my entire company.

Sent out to scout a possible enemy camp, three other Marines and I took the Humvee out to investigate why the scout hadn’t returned. It wasn’t the first time we’d been tasked with this, and it wouldn’t be the last. So with familiarity, we set off, sure we’d find nothing. But it wasn’t what we found, but instead what found us that changed something inside of me.

Like I always did, I thought about that day Duke had almost lost his leg due to that deadly IED. The day I’d almost lost two fingers, but still ended up sacrificing one. I looked down at the place where I should have a pinky finger and the deep scarring of the finger next to it, when a honk from a car behind me caught my attention and burst me out of my military musings.

With both feet planted on the hot asphalt on either side of my bike seat, I looked up to see the light had turned green.
I have got to stop daydreaming at stoplights.

I wasn’t sure where I was going, but I knew that when I’d woken up with Talia this morning, I’d been both happy and scared shitless. I just needed to take a ride to clear my head. I should have left her a note or a text or something, but I was obviously an inconsiderate asshole like that. She’d figure it out, I’m sure.

My bike took me back to the bridge leading over the gulf waters, as it had so many times. This was a familiar mainstay to me, obviously something that helped soothe whatever was scrambling my mind at the moment. And right now, it was Talia.

What had freaked me out so badly about waking up next to her? Wasn’t that what I always wanted? Maybe she didn’t though. Maybe I had coerced her into staying. Although I didn’t hear her asking me to take her home after she’d collapsed in my arms.

Then there was the broken condom. That had never happened before, and that’s probably the reason for my freakout. My stomach was in knots but I wasn’t sure if I should tell her or not. I was just going to assume she’s on some sort of birth control. I didn’t think she had some freaky disease and I know I didn’t. I hadn’t been with anyone but her in the past 6 months. I tried to calm my brain by looking at the early morning sun glistening over the choppy water. I kept moving and got to the pier I’d been at last night – we’d been at last night – and killed the engine.

My phone buzzed in my pocket again so I pulled it out. Two texts from Talia asking where I was and when I was coming back. I sighed heavily and texted her back:

Sorry, I had to clear my head. I’ll be back in 15. Then I’ll take you to breakfast.

I pocketed the phone and felt something. I pulled it out to see the business card from that guy Kyle last night. I sat on my bike, my legs out in front of me propping the bike up as I stared at the card. Flipping it over and over in my fingers, I looked out over the water again. I hadn’t even given a second thought to the card until today. Maybe I should stop being so complacent and try to get a legit job. I mean, I’m only 25. I’m done with the service and it’ll be a long road ahead working shitty jobs and living paycheck to paycheck if I didn’t find a career soon. Maybe they could show me where to look for something I’d love to do. I just had no idea what the hell that would be.

As far as the counseling aspect – no thanks. My head was fucked up but I sorta liked it that way. I just hope Talia wasn’t too mad at me for leaving her without saying anything. That was a pretty crappy thing to do. On second thought, maybe I should find out why I’m such a fucked-up dick. I pulled out my phone and saw Talia hadn’t responded to my text. I dialed Mathis Associates and made an appointment for later that afternoon.

Talia

“Hi, thanks for coming to get me at this ungodly hour,” I said to Bo as I got into her car.

She laughed. “It’s not ungodly. Ungodly is 5:52 a.m., which is what time Alyssa woke me up this morning.” She laughed, thinking about her daughter. Then she looked at Ellis’s empty house. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Paradise, hardly,” I snorted. I shook my head and crossed my legs after fastening my seatbelt. “He left. I have no idea where he went.”

She put her little car in gear and headed out of his mobile home park and onto the main road.

“Wow, no note or anything, huh? That was… rude.”

I found a piece of gum in my purse and shoved it in my mouth. “Yeah. I texted him but got no response.”

Just then, my phone buzzed. It was Ellis, so I read the text out loud to Bo.

“Clear his head, really? From what? It’s 8 in the morning. Wow…” she said after I’d finished reading it.

I nodded, trying not to let tears form in my eyes. This shouldn’t be any surprise to me. It’s not like I knew him that well. Maybe this is just how he was.

Once we reached my apartment, Bo dropped me off with a hug and told me she’d see me later. We were both working the closing shift, and I was grateful I’d have the distraction this afternoon.

After closing and locking my front door, I suddenly felt really tired. I set my purse and keys on my dining room table and went into my room and fell sleep, trying to stay the tears that wanted to fall. I felt like such an insecure little girl. Ellis was the one making me feel this way, and I didn’t like it at all. Maybe it was time I took a break from him. I drifted off to sleep easily.

My practiced smile was hard to keep plastered on today. Ellis was completely blowing up my phone. I’d been on shift for 3 hours and he’d called 4 times and sent me no less than 10 texts.

Obsessed much?

I thought maybe I should just answer it, telling him I was busy, but I didn’t want to. He deserved to twist in the wind a little bit, and it made me smile. At least I had some sort of smile for the customers. I couldn’t wait to finish school so I could get a job where I didn’t have to be “on” all the time. It was damn exhausting.

“You ok, hon?” Bo asked, coming out from the back office, holding the schedule. It was her handwritten rough draft, the one she made sure all the employees were okay with before she put it in the computer. We could log in from anywhere and check our schedule any time of the day or night once it was done. She was such a good boss.

I looked it over, nodded my approval, and thanked her, and took the next order. I was just jumpy today and for some reason, really, really wanted to go get high. I was ashamed to be thinking that way, but just the thought of snorting a couple lines of coke and not dealing with reality for a few hours just seemed so appealing. Old habits die hard.

You’re not that person anymore.
I know.

What would your mom say?
Nothing, she’s dead.

What would Ellis think?
Who cares? Asshole.

Bo would be so disappointed.
Shut up.

Nobody had to know. I knew exactly where I could score some, too. I knew where all the good dealers were. I didn’t even have to go into a bad part of town to get some. A girl named Ariel at school dealt, and everyone who has ever lived in that world knew it, too. She was making a killing, helping students pull all-nighters with a large choice of coke, meth, or anything else they wanted. Weed seemed to be the most popular, but I was never a fan of that shit. Just made me hungry and sleepy, and really, I was already those things most of the time anyway.

Which is why I’d love to get some coke. Just a little. I wouldn’t get addicted again, I would be okay.

Feeling increasingly twitchy, I kept checking the clock, and finally, it was time to close and go home. Getting in my car, I started it and pulled my phone out, scrolling through the contacts until I found Ariel’s name. My finger paused over the contact. Call or text?

Neither,
a voice in my brain said.
Think about someone other than yourself.

Like who?

Everyone you love.

But I don’t love anyone.

I’m going crazy. That’s it, I’m gonna have to be committed for having full-blown conversations with myself.

“Fuck!” I yelled, throwing the phone into the backseat and heading home. But not before stopping by the liquor store first. I won’t do any drugs, but I sure as hell could do a few shots of Fireball before I went to sleep tonight.

I heard my phone ringing in the backseat. “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor was the sound. That was Ellis’s ringtone. When was he gonna take the hint?