Selby's Shemozzle (12 page)

‘Gulp,' Selby gulped, blinking back a tear. ‘This is terrible. They don't want me to be a
talking
dog. They just want to be able to
see
me. They just want me to be the way I always was. Oh, woe woe woe. What am I going to do?'

(Find out in the very next story.)

(Continued again from the previous story.)

It was an exhausted (and invisible) dog that climbed into the window of the old house. The room was dark except for the small lamp on the desk. An old man squinted into the darkness.

‘Who's there?' he asked.

‘Me,' Selby said, hopping up onto the desk, ‘the dog that disappeared at the MAGIC Show today.'

‘The what? Is that you, Ralpho?'

‘No, it's me, Selby — the dog that disappeared.'

‘You're a dog? But dogs can't talk!'

‘Well, I can — and I do. But the worst thing now is that Ralpho made me invisible.'

Selby told the Great Whodunni how he learnt to talk and why he kept it a secret. He even told him about the books that have been written about him.

‘I read one of those once,' the old man said. ‘I kind of liked it, but I never believed it was true.'

‘That's because you don't believe in real magic,' Selby said. ‘You think that everything is tricks and lies, but it's not. It was magic when I learnt to talk and it was magic again when that stupid Kwangdangi Box made me disappear. When I saw you were still alive, I decided to come here to see if you could change me back.'

‘How do you expect me to do that?'

‘What were the words that the magician in Kwangdangi said when he made the boy come back?'

‘I really can't remember. It was something like
zee moskel!
or
she-munkle!
or
kee-muskle!
Something like that.'

‘Oh well,' Selby said. ‘It doesn't matter anyway, because you don't have a Kwangdangi Box.'

‘Yes, I do.'

‘You do?'

‘Yes, I brought the original one back from Kwangdangi to study. It's over there in the corner.'

Selby looked over to the corner of the room. In a second he'd leaped down from the desk and was in the box. He pulled the door closed.

‘Try to remember those magic words!' he said.

‘Well, I don't know.
Zee moskel! she-munkle!

kee-muskle
! I just can't remember. It's too long ago.'

‘Keep trying!' Selby pleaded. ‘Please! My life depends on it!'

‘See-mottle! She-moskle! Ski-momo! Skymozzie!
I'm afraid it's just not working. I really can't remember the magic words. I'm sorry.'

‘I'm sorry too,' Selby said as a still-invisible tear rolled down his cheek.

‘I'll tell you what I'll do,' the old man said. ‘Why don't you live here? After all, if I hadn't gone to Kwangdangi this never would have happened. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone
about you. It's all my fault, this whole big terrible
shemozzle.'

Bllllliiiiinnnng!

It was a tired but very visible talking dog that limped back to Bogusville and crept into the Trifles' house to sleep for the night. And it was a surprised and very happy Dr and Mrs Trifle who grabbed him the next morning and hugged him so hard that it hurt.

‘Selby, you're back!' Mrs Trifle cried. ‘Where have you been? We missed you so much.'

‘We certainly did,' Dr Trifle agreed, giving Selby a big hug too. ‘We're never going to let Ralpho try any tricks with you again.'

‘Oh, Selby, Selby, Selby!' Mrs Trifle cried. ‘We love you so much.'

‘Yes, we do, we do, we do!' Dr Trifle cried.

‘And I love you both too, too, too!' Selby cried in his brain. ‘You are the loveliest people on earth.'

‘Speaking of Ralpho,' Mrs Trifle said to Dr Trifle after they'd finished hugging Selby, ‘I forgot to tell you that he rang yesterday. He wants you to make another Kwangdangi Box.'

‘Well, I'm sorry but I just couldn't do it,' Dr Trifle said.

‘I agree. Think of how sad people would be when their pets go missing.'

‘No, I don't mean that,' Dr Trifle said. ‘I couldn't make one even if I wanted to. I found what's left of the plans on the floor of my workroom this morning. They've been destroyed.'

‘Destroyed?' Mrs Trifle said.

‘Something's ripped them to pieces,' Dr Trifle said. ‘They're in little bits with teeth marks all over them. It was almost as if Selby himself had done it.'

Dr and Mrs Trifle both looked at Selby.

‘He wouldn't have done something like that, of course,' Mrs Trifle said with a smile, ‘but you could hardly blame him if he did.'

And this time Selby didn't want to say anything. He didn't even think anything. He just lay there on his mat trying not to smile at his wonderful owners. He was just a normal talking dog again.

Sometimes I think I'd like to be
The sort of dog you cannot see,
Whenever things were getting dull,
I'd turn myself invisible.

Oh to snap my paw just once a year
And
just like that!
to disappear.
I'd sneak into a pastry shop
And quickly gobble up the lot.

I'd creep up on those dreadful brats
On tippy-toes, just like a cat,

S
Then breathe in one enormous breath
And
scream!
and scare them half to death.

And when I'm tired of transparency
I'd say goodbye to see-through me
And snap my paw again and be
Just sweet little innocent see-able me.