Seeking Me To Find You (Finding You Series Book 1) (5 page)

“Look at that sunset. I wish our schedule presented itself so that we could enjoy more of these without feeling the pain the next day.” Ben exasperatedly sat down in his chair. Thor looked up briefly then went back to standard pose. “Did you check out all the hot babes as we walked in? It’s like a buffet. Now we just need to choose what our palate is craving.”

“Tonight, it’s about drinking a beer, relaxing, and just enjoying life.” I thrust up my beer and Ben tips his into mine signaling round one is beginning. The first of many to come.

*

Ben and I
are on our third round when I notice that the entertainment is starting to warm up. Mike and one of his waitresses come over and open the back patio doors so there is no barrier between the patio and the main part of the bar. Our backs are to the area where the band is playing. My main focus is on the ocean that lies before me; the music is just an added plus on my path to relaxation. The male voice sounds familiar. His name is on the tip of my tongue as I look over. I glance over my shoulder and see the back of a blonde accompany him on the piano with a few vocals. Man, she sounds extremely familiar.

*

The male voice
announces that this is going to be the last song of the night. He explains that it’s time to showcase his partner’s voice. I start to hear the piano play a familiar tune that does not belong to his band, but rather to one of my favorite country bands. All of the sudden the voice of a woman pushes through and again I swear I recognize it from somewhere. I look down and Thor is gone.
Damn it!
I stand up and suddenly stop. The voice is the siren from this morning. I immediately know where Thor has been called. Sure enough, he is sitting right in front of her with his head cocked to the left.

The smile on her face is infections and I find it endearing that it appears that she is singing this love song to my mutt. Thor is eating it up. Before I can call him over, he assumes the down position.
This is not good.
Again, I look like the idiot low crawling, trying to get my dog to move.
No such luck.
When he is down, he is down.
Shit.
Here I go again.
I’m trying not to interrupt her performance while trying to avoid looking like an ass in front of a boat load of people.
Again, no such luck.
I find an empty seat near the front and for the first time I really see her. This morning she had the just woken up look. Don’t get me wrong, she was beautiful then, however right now I feel like that dog in the cartoon whose tongue rolls out of his mouth and eyes pulse like a heart beating. She’s rocking a Red Hot Chili Peppers t-shirt that is bundled in the back to pull it tight around her chest, showing a hint of her belly button that I’d give anything to dive my tongue into. She’s wearing slim jeans with rips in all the right places. She has on simple flip flops that show off a sexy nail color. What I wouldn’t give to run my finger up her instep and lightly nip each toe so that she feels the rush right where I would love to bury myself.
Holy Hell!
Put a fork in it. The dog is done. I’m done. She
will
be
mine
before the end of this evening. I need to work this chick out of my system.

As they are finishing their song, there is a huge applause with people whistling and hollering that they want more. The blush that comes over her face is one of uncertainty with a mix of relief. Thor takes this as his cue to
wake up
and nuzzle her feet dangling from the stool. With a belly laugh, she reaches down and kisses between his ears. That’s all it takes. He takes his lower descending posture so that he can roll over to get his belly rub.
What a flirt.
Another laugh comes from that beautiful body and she hops off the stool. Sitting beside him, she starts giving him the massage of a lifetime.

“Who’s your friend, Grace?” I look over and it’s the guy she has been accompanying.
I wonder what their deal is.

Still giving Thor all the attention, she looks to him and says, “Nate, this is Thor. He’s the big teddy bear that came to visit me this morning. And this is his owner, Jackson…”

“Jackson Kavanaugh,” I say reaching out to shake his hand. He grips my hand a little tighter than a normal handshake while scanning me from head to toe.

“Grace, we really need to get the equipment packed up so the other band can get set up.”

Still, this
Nate
has a death grip on my hand and hasn’t taken his eyes off of me. They must be an item because he looks like he’s about to take a piss on her just to mark her as his own. “I don’t mind helping you so that I can give you and Thor a chance to know one other better.”

She looks up at me with those beautiful blue eyes and gives me that sweet laugh that turns my insides out. “That’s okay. It won’t take us long. Plus, you need to make sure Thor doesn’t escape again. I would hate for him to follow another young lady home. You would have no clue where to look.”

“How about I buy us all a beer and both of you can meet us on the back patio so we can continue enjoying this beautiful evening.”

“That’s nice of you, but Gracie prefers something a little fruitier and I think she’s a little exhausted,” Nate states in a dominating tone.

“Speak for yourself. I’m ready for a nice
fruity
drink and to sit. Unpacking all week and then getting coerced into doing
this
has me aching to just chill for a while. Nate, give him a couple of bucks.” Speaking shyly she asks, “Jackson, would you mind ordering me a Raspberry Mojito? If they don’t make those, a Malibu Rum with pineapple juice will do me just fine.”

Gracie? I will do you just fine, little Gracie.
Unlocking my eyes from hers, I turn and give Mr. Pissy Pants one of my charming smiles. “Don’t worry about the money, man. What would you like? Something fruity for yourself as well?”

With a quick flash of anger in his eyes he growled, “I would like a Guinness Extra Stout at room temperature, thank you.”

As I turn to walk towards the bar, dragging Thor behind me, I think I hear that Nate character exclaim, “Damn it, Grace.”

Grace

“D
amn it, Grace
what
? Did I mess up on lyrics? Was I pitchy? For someone like me who hates to sing in front of people, I think I did an outstanding job. I didn’t even feel like I needed to puke.” Exasperatedly I walk out and start shoving equipment in the back of his SUV.
I just can’t win these days.
Looking up Nate seems conflicted.

Shoving his hands in his jeans pockets, Nate looks up at me. “Grace, that jarhead wants in your pants.”

“Oh no you didn’t. Would you call my
stepdad
that? I don’t think so Nathan Taylor. He would have your nuts in a vice grip before your brain could even process the thought to run. How
disrespectful
! How
rude
! And how do you know that he’s a Marine?”

“Really?” Nathan reaches up and closes the lift gate. “Grace, you have lived with a Marine most of your life and you cannot tell that this James –”

“Jackson.”

“What the hell ever. This Jackson dude has a high and tight with a slightly visible USMC tattoo peaking from the sleeve of his t-shirt.”

“Okay, but that doesn’t mean he wants in my pants.”

“Grace, didn’t you see how he looked at you? He wants you and he wants you bad. And to top it all off, he’s using his mangy mutt to try and wiggle his way into your bed.” Nate starts pacing back and forth. “I knew this was going to happen. You come down here just to gain
some independence
and as quickly as you land, you fall for some guy that is just going to break your heart because all he wants is a quick fuck. You can’t do quick or meaningless sex and that’s what I saw when he looked at you just now.”

“And this goes back to why I moved. Every time I go to have drinks with someone you automatically assume he wants to have his
wicked way
with me. You really do think that lowly of me. You think that nobody can see me for the person that I am. You don’t think that someone would just want to take me out for dinner and a movie while expecting nothing in return. You don’t think someone could love me for me.” Tears start rolling down my cheeks. “That’s it isn’t it? You can’t let go of your disgust of my biological father because you feel he could never love me as a daughter. You think that because he felt that I wasn’t good enough for him then, how can I be good enough for him now? How can a man love me when my own father couldn’t love me?” I slam the SUV door and start dialing a cab.

“That’s not true and you –”

“Nate, get in your car and leave. I don’t want you in my house tonight. I will call a cab to take me home. We need some separation right now because I truly believe we need to rethink this friendship. In my opinion, best friends are always there for each other, not trying to tear them down every chance they get.”

“But Grace…”

Tears still pouring down my cheek, I sob, “Don’t
but
Grace me. Turn the key in the ignition, shut your car door, and drive until you reach your house. After that, turn off the car, take out your key, open the car door and walk into your house. Take off your clothes and go to bed. Make sure you set your house alarm because you don’t want any dangerous females to storm the house and take advantage of you.”

“What?” Nate says with confusion written all over his face.

“Doesn’t it feel just dandy when someone treats you like an imbecile?”

“Please just let me take you home and then I’ll leave.”

*

This car ride
home is torture. I cannot seem to stop the liquid drops from running down my face. As I look out of the window, I feel as though I’ve taken twenty steps back.
No I haven’t.
It suddenly comes to me. No one in my life has attempted to take the steps forward to see where I am today. They all have locked me in a box. I really think they keep me in the small box because they don’t want me to get hurt. What they don’t realize is that I’ll never learn unless I work myself through these situations. If I don’t work through them myself, then I’ll never deserve to have the life that I crave. I’ll never
learn
to have the life that I crave, that I seek.

Suddenly, the car stops and he gets out. He walks around the front of the car and opens my door. “I hope you know that I love you Gracie. I’m not going to apologize for acting this way. I hope you know that it would kill me if anything bad was to happen to you and there was a way I could have controlled it.” In his best Forrest Gump impression he says, “You’re my gurl!”

“Nate, we’ve been best friends for what seems like forever. You’re really the big brother I’ve always wanted. It’s time to let me grow up. And I can’t do it with you constantly holding me back. I know that you call my parents every week to have a weekly meeting on the
state of my affairs
. It didn’t bother me until it interfered with me living. All of you have to realize that I have my own life. I
will
screw up and I
will
learn from it and become a better person. It doesn’t mean that I may not need a friend to talk to every now and then. It doesn’t mean that I may not need a shoulder to cry on when it feels unbearable.” I shrug my shoulders and give a faint smile, “I need to be me. I really need to learn to be me. Good night, Nate. I will call you sometime next week.” He is still standing by his car when I unlock the door to my home. Turning around suddenly I say, “Oh, please text me when you get home.”