Seeing Black (9 page)

As if the conversation had been going on the entire
ride over, as soon as he turned the bike off, he spoke. “I do trust
you. It’s Rocco I don’t trust. You don’t need him, Jill. He’s a
possible psychopath. Your mother was terrified of him. You’re being
naïve.”

“Stop saying that! Stop treating me like a child.”
Jill slammed the door of her apartment. Alexander opened it and
slammed it shut again.

“Here we go.” Heather laughed as soon as she saw
them stomp into the apartment, arguing. “You guys fight way too
much. What happened now?”

“We do not fight,” Jill snapped.

“She,” Alexander pointed at Jill, “doesn’t see
anything wrong with seeing Rocco. She,” he pointed at Jill again,
“wants to have some sort of father-daughter relationship with that
guy.”

“Oh.” Heather drawled, her teeth biting her bottom
lips.

Jill’s head jutted towards Heather. “What do you
mean ‘Oh’?”

“Hon’, I don’t want to get into y’all’s little spat,
but I’m not too sure about Rocco. I mean, after the Paul thing and
the journals and the note, do you really think he just wants to get
to know you? It seems weird.”

Knowing she wasn’t going to win the fight nor did
she even want to be in a fight, she gave up. “Fine. I’ll think
about it.”

“Good,” Heather said.

Alexander smiled triumphantly. “Good girl.” He
reached up and carried Jill over his shoulders to her bedroom.
Heather giggled and yelled, “Chocolate cake.”

Alexander dropped her on the bed, and she held her
hands out and placed them against his chest to stop any further
advancement. “I’m still mad at you.”

“I know. But it’s for your own good. Think about it,
babe. The guy’s no good. Your mom was scared of him, and I get a
weird vibe. Even Heather agrees. Trust me on this one.”

“He’s changed. But, fine, I’ll think about it.”

“Okay, good. Now let’s talk about more important
things.”

“Such as?”

“Such as,” Alexander reached down and kissed her
shoulders then her neck. When Jill felt as if she would melt, he
said, “Such as class. We have a test tomorrow. Stop trying to
seduce me, and let’s get to work.” Alexander stopped kissing her,
picked up his books, and dropped them on the bed with a wicked
smile.

Jill groaned. All of a sudden, studying was the last
thing on her mind. But they had so much work to catch up on, so she
had to control her hormones enough to get through a lot of reading
and writing for class the next morning.

***

“Well, look at you all grown up.” Heather playfully
tugged on the lapel of Oliver’s button-down fitted black shirt, the
long sleeves pulled back to his elbows, and jeans that fell low on
his hips. His hair was trimmed short and his face shaved smooth.
She stood aside to let them in. It was the Saturday of their
dinner-nightclub-non-double-date outing.

“Since we don’t act it, we try to at least look it.”
Alexander winked as he gave Heather a quick kiss on the cheek. “You
look great, Heather.” Heather wore an asymmetrical yellow dress
that fit snuggly in all the right places. It was short, tight, and
loud, much like Heather herself, and her very high heels did
unbelievable things to her toned and tanned legs.

Unabashed, she smiled and did a little twirl,
causing her long pin-straight chestnut-colored hair to dance around
her shoulders.

“No. Better than great. Stunning,” Oliver said. His
mouth hung open just a little. Any feeling he may have had for Jill
was clearly gone and forgotten. Jill felt almost embarrassed for
him at his reaction to Heather. It was cute. He was cute. So was
Heather. Together they were just so . . . cute.

“Oh, you,” Heather demurely patted his shoulder,
“y’all going to make me blush.”

“Babe, you look . . . Wow!” Alexander said to Jill
who had been standing behind Heather but had now made her way to
Heather’s side. His eyes always found her. Heather looked
beautiful. Gorgeous. Any man would have stopped and stared, but not
Alexander. Jill knew that anywhere they were, as soon as their eyes
locked, they were lost in each other. It was as if their souls were
connected, and every time they were in the same room, they
gravitated to each other. Even when they were young, it was always
like that. Her heart never failed to flutter when she saw him. Yes,
Xander and Oly were twins. Yes, physically, they looked alike. But,
in the last few weeks, it was as if she were seeing a whole new
Xander. The interest that at one time may have been directed at
Oliver was completely gone. He was strictly family, and there was
absolutely no sexual attraction towards him. He may as well have
looked completely different from Alexander. All this happened in
such a short span of time. It was as if finally admitting she was
in love with Alexander and only Alexander had completely blinded
her senses to all other men—Oliver included. Xander was electric.
He was soul-shattering, panty-dropping, heart-stopping,
sweaty-palms, stupid-grinning electric. And tonight was no
different. In fact, it was probably better because he looked better
than usual, all dressed up. He sauntered into the apartment wearing
gray slacks that, like Oliver’s, fell low on his waist, with a
fitted black V-neck shirt. He didn’t bother to shave and therefore
had a perfectly rugged yet gloriously sexy five-o’clock shadow. His
blond hair, shorter than it had been a month ago, was still longer
than Oliver’s. It wasn’t long enough to pull back into a ponytail
anymore, but it was long enough that he was able to slick it back,
causing curls to form at the nape of his neck. A loose piece of
hair fell forward and that small out of place imperfection made him
look absolutely perfect. Perhaps Oliver wasn’t the only one
embarrassingly gawking. She knew this because Alexander walked
forward and physically pushed her jaw shut with his index finger.
He chuckled. “You’re staring, Red.”

She didn’t mean to say it, but it just came out.
“God, you’re gorgeous,” she whispered in awe.

“Men are not gorgeous, babe. We’re rugged, handsome
maybe, but not gorgeous.” He leaned in and brushed his lips against
hers. “
You,
love, are gorgeous.” At first sight, it seemed
as if Jill wore a reserved simple little black dress, but upon
further inspection, it was far from reserved. Very far! It was
short, but not as short as Heather’s, and it was sleeveless with a
high collar, but the entire dress was made of a black delicate lace
material with absolutely no lining except for two areas.

“Holy shit. Only your tits and ass are covered,”
said Alexander.

“And her hoo-ha,” Heather chimed in with a
chuckle.

“You look good, Jill,” Oliver said, but his eyes
never left Heather.

“Thanks, Oly. And I am covered, Alexander. You can’t
really see anything unless you look up close.”

“Well, if anyone gets close enough to tell that
you’re practically naked, I will kick that someone’s ass.” She
smiled and shook her head. He ran his fingers through his hair.
“Fuck, it’s going to be a long night.”

“Y’all ready to go?”

“Wait a minute. Why don’t you guys fix yourselves a
drink or something? We’ll be right back,” Alexander said, he
grabbed Jill’s hand and led her to her room

“
Oh no. No
, no, no.
You guys! We don’t have time for you to
get a quickie in. I’m starved,” Heather whined and Jill
blushed.

“We aren’t going to . . .” He looked at Jill,
“Unless you want to, then I’m game, babe.”

Jill shoved his shoulder. “You are such a pervert.
We’re not going to do anything, Heather.” She looked at Alexander
as to confirm that no hanky-panky was to take place.

“We’ll just be a few minutes.” Alexander led Jill to
her room as Oliver yelled for them to hurry up.

Once inside, Alexander locked the door and moved to
sit on Jill’s bed. “What’s up?” Jill questioned.

“You look so beautiful.” He ran his fingers through
her long soft red hair that fell loose over one of her
shoulders.

“You too,” she said. He smiled and patted the bed
for her to come sit next to him. “Well, not beautiful, but
gorgeous.” He smiled again. “Shit. I meant handsome. Whatever. I’m
flustered all of a sudden.” He smiled yet again. “Will you please
talk? You’re kind of freaking me out here,” said Jill. He seemed
rather nervous. That wasn’t something she was accustomed to seeing
from him. If there was one thing about Alexander, it was that he
was always sure of himself. Cocky, really.

“Close your eyes and count to ten then open
them.”

Her brows furrowed, but she did as he asked. She
felt the bed move underneath her as she counted. When she opened
her eyes, she realized he wasn’t there anymore. Instead a little
box a distinguishable shade of blue sat on the bed in his stead.
“Oh my God. What the hell?” Jill whispered to no one in particular.
She looked down at a small box as if it were a snake ready to
strike.

A little blue box.

A little blue jewelry box.

Oh. My. God.

Jill’s heart raced and her hands trembled. She was
unsure whether to open it or hide under the bed. Taking her out of
her heart-palpitating stare-down of the box, Alexander cleared his
throat. She jumped. He had a knack for scaring her to death. He’d
been leaning against the wall, behind her. He climbed back onto the
bed, behind her, and wrapped his arms around her. He placed his
chin on her shoulder and whispered in her ear, “Babe, relax. Just
open it. It’s not what you think.”

“How do you know what I think?” She just kept
staring at the box.

Alexander’s face was buried in her neck, and he
spoke as he gave her kisses. “I’ve known you all my life. You work
yourself up, and right now you’re not even breathing. I saw your
reaction.” He gave her one final kiss before placing his hands on
her shoulders and turning her towards him. He leaned down to look
her in the eyes and whispered, “Breathe, babe. Just breathe.” She
nodded. “I’m going to give you a moment. I’ll be right back.”

She took a deep breath and reached for the small
box. Carefully, she unwrapped the bow, opened the box, and sighed.
She covered her mouth with her hand. A small, but not so small that
it would get lost against the small indentation by her throat,
diamond-encrusted seashell made of white gold and tiny red rubies
sat in the box against something else wrapped in tissue. She pulled
out the beautifully delicate pendant and white gold chain and
unwrapped the tissue paper. Inside was a key, just a regular silver
key. She held both items in her hand.

She felt him before she saw him. She swung her head
around, her eyes wet with unshed tears. “What is this?”

“It’s a necklace.”

She snorted and rolled her eyes, “I know that. But
why?”

“I wanted you to have something that reminded you of
me, of us, of our time together on the island. I know I wasn’t the
one who gave you that seashell all those years ago, but I’m giving
you one now—now, as a man, not as a stupid boy who didn’t know
shit, but as a man who knows what he’s giving you and what he
wants.”

Her lips quivered. “What you want? What do you
want?”

Alexander made his way closer to her, picked up the
necklace, and turned her around, his front to her back. He
whispered into her ear, “Pick up your hair, beautiful.”

She did.

He clasped the necklace and planted a small kiss on
her shoulder. Her heart fluttered, her skin flushed, and her body
shook. He then turned her around and picked up the key from her
hand. “What I want? Well, what I want, you aren’t ready for. I saw
that the moment you saw that box on the bed. But, for starters, I
want you to have the key to my apartment. I want you to have some
of your stuff there. I want you to come and go as you please, and,
babe, when you’re ready, I want all of your stuff there.”

“Are you asking me to move in?”

“No. You’re not ready for that. You can barely deal
with the necklace, so we’re taking baby steps.”

“I so can handle the necklace.”

“Babe, I love you, but seriously, you’re kind of a
spaz.”

“Am not.”

“Yeah. You kind of are. You’re neurotic; you
overreact and freak out over anything to do with commitment. I get
it. I’m not going to push you. When you’re ready, you’ll move in or
maybe even more.”

She gasped. “More?”

He laughed. “Relax. Right now, you come and go
whenever you want. You leave some of your shit there. I leave some
of my shit here. It’s all good.”

“Aren’t we moving kind of fast?”

“Fast? You see. Total spaz. Kind of fast? Yeah,
you’re right, it’s
only
been like twenty years of this back
and forth between us. Let’s just wait another twenty.”

“Ha. Ha.” She walked to the mirror to admire her
new, delicate, beautiful, over-the-top, necklace. “I just want to
be sure that—”

“That what? That you made the right decision by
picking me over my brother?”

And there it was. “No. No!” She turned to him. “I
may be a spaz, as you say, but you’re insecure, Alexander Jacobs.
You still don’t fully believe that there’s nothing between your
brother and me. I don’t want you making promises out of insecurity
or jealousy. When, and I am saying when not if, I move in, it will
be because we’re ready, not out of some ill-placed feeling of
having to have me close or else I’ll leave you. You don’t have to
prove to me or yourself that I picked the right brother. I have no
doubt—no doubt—that I’m in love with you or that I picked the right
guy.”

“Seriously?” he laughed and grabbed her hand and
cupped her hand over the front of his pants. “You feel that?” Her
face flushed. “That’s my dick, babe. You understand?” She looked
completely confused. “I’m a man. You’re thinking all-girl shit. I
don’t know anything about that convoluted crap you just spewed. Men
don’t think that deep. Well, I certainly don’t. I want you to move
in with me because I love you. I want to wake up to you every day.
I want you in my house. I want to roll over in the middle of the
night and fuck you. I want to know you’re there so that I can fuck
you. It’s got nothing to do with Oliver. He doesn’t even factor
into the equation, not my equation.” Then he let go of her
shoulder, and his features changed. “Wait. Are
you
doubting
your choice? Is this something you—”