Seeing Black (7 page)

“Jillian?” A voice took her out of her head.

“Oh, sorry. I drifted off for a minute.”

“Yes. I noticed.”

“You were telling me about my mother. How did she
react to you telling her about your skill?” She air quoted the word
skill
.

“She was amazing. I doubt she ever told my secret to
anyone. She did research. She thought it was the coolest thing
ever. She never once made me feel like a freak. She embraced it and
helped me become even better at PRV.”

“What’s that? You’ve said PRV a few times.”

“There is so much to learn, and we are going all
over the place.” He seemed annoyed all of a sudden. “Do you want me
to start in the middle, or do you want to know from the beginning?
I can’t rush this, and you’re in a hurry to leave.”

“Stop reading my mind! Or my feelings or whatever!”
Jill crossed her arms, indignant.

“I am not reading your mind, child. You’re tapping
your foot. You’re anxious. I don’t need to be a mind reader to know
that. Plus, you keep glancing at your watch.” He took a deep breath
before he continued. “Psychic remote viewing, or PRV, is something
I practiced and learned how to do many years ago, something you
would greatly benefit from. When I was about your age, gripped with
worry over having a spell and everyone finding out my big secret,
Josef and I figured out that if we practiced and perfected
meditation, we could control our visions. Eventually, I was able to
completely control them. It is a strange thing, though, a
philosophical issue of sorts. If I have to look for it, am I really
psychic anymore? I had so much control that I didn’t see things
coming anymore, not organically at least. I had to channel my
thoughts to what I was looking for, so I had to know what to look
for.”

“Is that why you didn’t know about me?’

“Yes. I believe so. I knew your mother was pregnant,
but I thought you died when the plane crashed; therefore, I didn’t
have any reason to seek you out. Since I can only
see
things
I seek out . . . Well, I didn’t think to look for you.”

Jill took a sip of her coffee. “How did you learn
about me?”

“That’s an interesting question. A few months back—I
am assuming it was when you came down to Texas to begin your
studies—I began getting glimpses of this beautiful redheaded girl
with piercing green eyes. These glimpses were not something that
had ever happened to me. I had always either gone into full
blackouts or deep trances, but these uncontrolled little snippets
were strange. It was as if you were right there,” he pointed to his
side, “in my peripheral vision.”

“That’s how you were to me too. I kept seeing you
everywhere. It was driving me crazy.”

Rocco laughed. “Yes. It drove me mad as well. Josef
also experienced some of the same thing, but not as often nor as
vivid. Everywhere I turned, you were there, and as the time passed,
the visions intensified. Once I was able to really see you clearly,
I couldn’t deny the resemblance and the feeling I got that we were
somehow related. I began digging and doing research. After I saw a
quick vision of you walking into the university, I was able to get
your name. Before these little episodes, I hadn’t had any visions
in two decades.” Jill looked at him with eyebrows furrowed. Rocco
chuckled. “I am a benefactor at your university, so it wasn’t too
difficult to find you once I saw you.”

Jill leaned forward, taking a moment to think about
what she was about to say and how she would say it without sounding
too harsh. “Rocco. I have been alone for a very long time. I would
appreciate it if you didn’t sneak around. If you have something you
need to know, please ask. Don’t betray my trust by going around and
looking things up about me behind my back. The few people in my
life aren’t too happy that I’m here, but I came anyway. Please,
don’t make me regret it.”

“I understand, dear. Now that I’ve found you, I
wouldn’t want to lose you. I want to get to know you. I had to do
some digging to find you. It was the only way.”

“I understand, but please, don’t do that again—the
sneaking behind my back—I don’t like it. I want to get to know you,
too, but I need to trust you. Everything I’ve heard about you so
far hasn’t really given me reason to trust you, and I do want to
learn that PRV thing you were talking about.” Jill quickly
replied.

Rocco reached over and placed his hands over hers,
“There are so many things I can teach you. I’ve never had much of a
family either. After your mother passed away, I became somewhat
secluded, and I never had another real relationship.” Jill’s heart
hurt for the man who had clearly suffered. It was a strange feeling
to feel so much for someone so fast. Even though he was her father,
he was really just a stranger, yet she had this innate connection
to him that she couldn’t shake off. “I let my personal life fall by
the wayside. I regret a lot of things that happened with your
mother. I wish I had known she was leaving. I would have chased her
to the ends of the earth. I wish I hadn’t already been so good at
PRV. Perhaps I would have seen her leaving through a vision or at
least seen the crash before it happened.” Rocco’s eyes watered. His
look of guilt and sorrow overwhelmed her. Her hand gripped his.

“I still don’t really understand why she left or
what exactly you want from me, Rocco? I get the feeling that I’m
missing something.”

“You’re a clever girl.” He squeezed the top of her
hands and leaned back into his chair. “I would like your
companionship. You and I share a gift. We’re special, and I want
you to understand that. I’m not sure how strong your gift really is
yet. I’ve searched the world over for other clairvoyants and have
never found anyone. It’s just you, Josef and I. If you will let me,
I would like to teach you how to use it and control it.”

Jill leaned back. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you care whether I’m psychic or not.”

“I don’t. I just want to help you, teach you what I
wish someone had taught me. I really just want to get to know my
daughter. My only child. I want you to tell me all about your time
in the island. I want to know about Helen and what she told you
about your mother. It will be a mutually beneficial relationship. I
get companionship, and you get to learn about your mother and your
gift.”

“Bullshit. I don’t believe that for one second. That
seems very one-sided. I spend a little time with you in exchange
for so much? You’re a wealthy and powerful man. In fact, I’ve heard
you can be ruthless and cutthroat. I don’t believe you would do
anything just out of loneliness.”

“Fine. I’ll be honest with you.” He hesitated a
moment and then began speaking again. “I’ve never studied a female
clairvoyant. Let Josef and me study you. My dream in life was
always to learn why Josef and I are psychic. At one time, I worked
with the United States Government in some secret studies on
paranormal warfare. I always felt I missed something, but I never
had any test subjects because it was only Josef and I. Let us study
you.”

“Wait? What? Study me? Like how?”

“Nothing major. Let us draw some blood, run some
scans, play—”

“What?” Jill yelled. “Are you being sarcastic?
That’s not major?”

“Please, don’t be scared. It sounds worse than it
is. We’ll just draw blood one time. It’ll be as if you were having
your yearly physical and an MRI. It’s nothing to get all worked up
about. It will make an old man so happy. I may finally get an
insight into why we are what we are. I’m getting old. Flatter me.
There are so many things I will teach you in exchange. Plus, I am
very wealthy, and you are my only child. Who will I leave my wealth
to? My knowledge?

“I don’t need your money, Rocco.”

“I know you don’t. You received a handsome
settlement from the plane crash, but I have more, a lot more. And I
have knowledge. How long can you live in seclusion? I know you want
to control your visions. How can you not want that? All I am asking
for is a few hours one day, and you get so much in return.”

“It would be nice to be able to control my visions,
but I don’t live in seclusion!”

“You have three friends, one of whom you just met a
few months ago. You avoid relationships and outings because you are
scared people will find out about you.”

He was right. Jill fumbled around with her fork. Her
food was untouched. Getting to know her father was something she
had only dreamed about, but learning how to control her ability,
well, that was something she hadn’t even bothered dreaming about
because she never thought it would be possible. She didn’t trust
him just yet, but she didn’t fear him either. In fact, she felt
rather comfortable with him. Jill looked at her watch and noticed
it was time to go. She pushed her chair back and stood; Rocco
immediately followed suit.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Rocco asked.

“Yes. Okay. I’ll agree to get to know you better,
and I’ll agree to your medical thing, but nothing more than a
little blood and a scan. I want to know more about my mother, about
you, and about this psychic connection we have. All of it.”

“Wonderful.” Rocco had a smile on his face. “I can
arrange for you to stay here. It is much more comfortable than that
small apartment you live in.”

“No. No. You’re moving too fast. How about lunch on
Wednesday? I have an early class. We can meet afterwards. I’m not
ready for those tests just yet, though. Just lunch for now.”

“Okay. Splendid. I’ll have a car pick you up at your
apartment at—”

“Noon. I’ll be ready at noon.” She walked around the
table and stood closer to her father. “May I ask you something?”
Rocco nodded and Jill continued. “Why do you care why we’re
psychic?”

“Imagine the possibilities of recreating the gene.
What a wonderful world it would be if wars were fought in rooms
with psychics instead of with guns and soldiers. The possibilities
are infinite. It is such a powerful thing.”

Interesting. She’d never thought about it like that,
never got beyond it being an annoyance. His reason, however, scared
her. It wasn’t just for curiosity; he wanted to create the gene? “I
have to go, Rocco. Thank you for breakfast. I’ll see you
Wednesday.” There was an awkward moment, but Rocco reached towards
Jill and hugged her before walking her out. “Oh, one more thing, is
Josef a doctor?” Rocco nodded. “Tell him to stop getting into my
head and threatening my friends. I’m coming here of my own free
will. I don’t need threats. If he does it again, the deal’s off.”
Rocco nodded.

Death solves all problems—
no man, no problem.

-Joseph Stalin

Jill returned home with a sense of relief. Her life
was moving along so nicely all of a sudden. She had a man who
adored her, friends who loved her, and her father was now in her
life. Hell, she even had an uncle! Something that had felt so
foreign and unwelcome, her clairvoyance, was now something she
looked forward to embracing and learning more about. She still had
a million questions, but they would all be answered in due time.
She didn’t like lying, but those little tests that Rocco wanted to
conduct on her had to remain a secret. Alexander—and Oliver and
Heather for that matter—would flip out if he knew. They just didn’t
understand how miserable her life had been for so many years, how
isolated she had been. Controlling her clairvoyance was the first
step in getting her freedom.

Alexander, Oliver, and Heather were all spread on
the couch, looking awful. The house was still a mess; although, it
did seem as if someone had made a lame attempt at picking up.

“You guys look terrible.” A cacophony of “ughs” and
“blahs” made Jill laugh. “Why are you all so hung over? I was at
the same party.”

“Come here, baby.” With heavy lidded eyes, Alexander
opened his arms from the couch, and Jill walked towards him. He
grabbed her arm and pulled her down so that she sat cradled in his
lap. “Don’t talk so much. My head hurts.”

Jill playfully tapped his head. “You guys are a
mess.” She kissed Alexander and pushed off him and began to pick up
red cups.

“I can help. Just give me a minute.” Alexander
patted the seat. “Sit down and tell us about the visit with your
father.”

“I was wrong about him.” She didn’t sit; she spoke
as she continued to pick up. “He’s not what we thought he was, or
at the very least, he’s changed. His home is gorgeous, a mansion,
and it’s only one of his many homes.” Jill stopped picking up and
looked at the three train wrecks spread on the couch. “Are you guys
even listening?” All three bobbed their heads, and she continued.
“Anyway, I want to see him again. I want to know more about my
mother, and he’s going to tell me. He was very much in love with
her. He’s psychic also. Well, he was. He can’t do much anymore. It
goes away. Did you know that? One day it will just go away or
deteriorate like your hearing and vision,” she rambled. It was
something she always did when she was nervous, and lying made her
nervous. Well, a lie of omission. If they asked, “Hey, does your
father and/or uncle want to use you as a guinea pig and perform
medical tests on you?” she would say, “Yes, why, yes, he does.” But
they hadn’t asked, so it wasn’t a lie, so she continued. “But he
was able to learn how to channel it and control it. He’s going to
teach me how to do that too.”

“Why?” Oliver asked, startling her from her
rant.

“Why what?” She looked up.

“Why is he going to teach you anything? He doesn’t
even know you.”

“He’s my father. Of course he knows me. I mean he
doesn’t know me know me, but, you know, he knows me.” Even Jill
knew she was making no sense. It was her nerves. She took a breath.
“He just wants to get to know me better. He says he didn’t know I
existed and that he has a lot of lost time to make up for. I like
him, guys.” Jill bent over to grab a plate from the floor by
Alexander, and he reached forward and her pulled her back down to
his lap again. She dropped the garbage bag and plate she held and
snuggled closer to him.