Read Secrets at Midnight Online
Authors: Nalini Singh
“They'll love youâafter they make you run the gauntlet. Because you know, you could be a devious wench out to break my heart.” He thought about Mercy, decided another warning was in order. “My sister is
really
overprotective. Show no fear.”
Kirby bared her teeth. “Bring on the kitten defurring tools.”
“That's my lynx.”
A
fter a night of exquisite torture holding Kirby's warm, curvy body against his own without it going any further, Bastien spent the day coaching her on how to shift at will, as well as how to handle senses that had become far more acute now that her lynx was out of hibernation.
With the mating bond not yet set in stone, he was brutally possessive of her, but suggested they call in Dorian for a couple of hours. “Dorian learned to move in cat form as an adult,” he told Kirby, “so he'll be able to explain things better.” The other male was also already mated, thus less apt to set off Bastien's aggressive instincts, instincts he couldn't fully control this far into the mating dance.
Kirby agreed to the instruction, but she was wary with Dorian.
However, and in spite of his violent dominance, the white-blond sentinel proved a patient teacher who had Kirby smiling at him by the time the session ended. “Thank you,” she said. “I'm so glad Bastien asked you to come over.”
Dorian didn't respond to the heartfelt words with an affectionate touch, as Bastien knew he normally would have; the sentinel had no doubt picked up on Bastien's precarious equilibrium. “You're doing me a favor,” the other male said instead. “Finally
I
get to teach someone.”
He thrust a hand through his hair. “You have no idea the razzing I took from the others when I fell on my ass my first few hunts.” A scowl directed at Bastien. “Bas here sent me a nice sensitive card with a leopard in diapers on the front.”
Kirby's mouth dropped open. “Bastien, you didn't.”
Cuddling her close, he rubbed his jaw along her temple. “Sheesh, Kirby, it's not like I could hug him and say motivational bullshit.”
Dorian's snarl was belied by the amusement in his vivid blue eyes. They both knew the razzing had been affectionate, the entire pack overjoyed at his ability to shift.
“I'll see you both later,” the sentinel said now. “I promised my mate and son an after-school drive to get ice cream.”
It wasn't long after Dorian's departure that Kirby's phone rang, the records request she'd filed answered not by social services, but by a detective who'd been on the job at the time of the fire. “I never forgot you,” Detective Shona Bay said, the intensity of her dark gaze apparent even through the small screen. “You were so tiny, so shocked. I carried you to the hospital myself, your poor little feet were in such bad shape.”
Then, as Bastien held Kirby, the detective told her why the victims had never been identified. “Your family was just passing through. Came in on the train, rented the vacation house with cash for a week. No paper trail outside the home, and everything in it went up in smoke when an electrical fault caused a fatal overload early that morning.”
“The owner?” Bastien couldn't believe heâor sheâhadn't remembered the names of the people to whom they'd rented a home.
The detective rubbed her hands over her face. “I went looking the first day, had a bad feeling it may have been a cash rental, given his habit of them.” Lips twisting, she said, “Turned out he'd had a fall while doing maintenance on another one of his properties two days earlier, took a serious bump to the head. Ended up recovering totally, except for some short-term memory loss.”
Bastien didn't need the detective to spell it out to realize the time span of that memory loss had included the landlord's meeting with a small lynx family. Luck had not been on the side of his little cat that long-ago day in Georgia, he thought, holding her tighter as her hand flexed and fisted convulsively against his back, her arm wrapped around him.
“Far as we could figure,” the detective continued, eyes on
Kirby, “you must've squeezed outside through a pet door your parents probably didn't expect you to fit through.” Shaking her head, she said, “Your palms were burned, too, soot and tears on your face.”
“Were you able to recover anything?” Bastien smoothed his hand down Kirby's spine, able to feel the fine tremors shaking her frame. “The smallest piece could help Kirby trace her family.”
“I found a photo that looked like it was taken in a maternity suite of two adults with a baby,” the detective said. “Posted it everywhere I could think of, used it to search through missing persons files for years, but I made a mistake.” Her shoulders slumped. “I searched only through the missing tagged human, figured it had to be right since you were human.”
Kirby, his strong Kirby with her courageous heart, shook her head. “You had no way of knowing.” Taking a deep breath, she said, “The photo . . . do you still have it? Even a copy in a database?”
Shona Bay blew out a breath. “We had a major server meltdown ten years back that affected a lot of systems, so I can't promise. I'm sorry.” The other woman tapped a finger on her desk. “I'm going to hunt for the physical file and the original photograph, but given the time that's passed, there's a good chance it's already been destroyed.”
Kirby nodded, holding it together until the detective signed off. Then she screamed, thumping her fists against Bastien's chest. “It's not fair! I just want to know who I am! I just want to know!”
Aware she couldn't hear him right now, Bastien simply kept her safe while she worked out her rage and sorrow, then held her skin to skin all night, his own fury a wild thing inside him. He wanted to fix this for her, make it better, but there was nothing he could do but be with her as she built a new life for herself out of the ashes of the old.
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IN
the three days that followed, Bastien grew even prouder of Kirby's strength. She came back fighting, determined not to let the dead end of the records search stop her from living her life. “I made it this far alone,” she said, then touched her
fingers shyly to his jaw. “Now I have you. No excuses for not going forward.”
Owned utterly, he took her to meet Lucas so she'd know she had the DarkRiver alpha's sanction to join the pack. She handled the meeting with a sweet self-assurance that had Lucas giving her an approving look and a gentle kiss that was more than simple acceptance; it was the welcome of a predatory changeling alpha pleased with this new member of his pack.
Smug and happy because she was his, Bastien showed Kirby more about being changeling, watched over her during another session with Dorian, taught her about pack life, and introduced her to a lynx family that lived in the territory. The Bakers were a mature couple, with a grown son and a younger daughter, but Enid and Kirby clicked at once.
As a result, she felt comfortable enough to go off on exploratory trips in the forest with the older woman, Bastien and Kirby both aware Enid had much to teach her about her unique lynx senses. Bastien remained violently proud of his mate for her courage, but he had to fight his protectiveness each time she disappeared into the trees. He refused, however, to stifle her confidence or damage her new friendship by insisting on accompanying the women.
Instead, he spent the time working via a comm link to the office . . . and worrying, conscious of how new Kirby was to her animal form, her reaction times slow. The forest was their home, but it had its dangers, and she didn't yet know them all.
Now, late afternoon on the third day, she tugged him down with her hands gripping his hair and nipped at his lower lip. “Go to dinner with your brothers.” It was a passionate order, her brow dark. “Otherwise you'll pace a hole in the floor, and I won't be able to concentrate for thinking about you.”
Seeing the truth of the latter in the pale gold of eyes gone lynx and hating that he was causing her anxiety, he forced himself to do as she asked. Somehow, he even managed to fool Sage and Grey into thinking he was on an even keel as the three of them unanimously decided to invite themselves to dinner at Mercy and Riley's, the couple having returned from Arizona the previous night.
“We'll take upside-down pineapple cake as a bribe,” Grey said with mischievous feline cunning. “Mercy can't resist it.”
Bastien wasn't the least surprised to discover his sister already knew he was seeing someoneâthough Sage had apparently kept quiet till then. The normality of his siblings' ensuing ribbing helped the time pass, soothed the ragged edges inside him. He especially got a kick out of telling Mercy to do her worst; his lynx, he thought with snarling confidence, could handle it.
Back at the aerie just after nine thirty, he didn't panic when he found it empty, despite the fact the plan had been for the two women to return by nine. Following Kirby's scentâas vivid to him as if it was his ownâhe found her a short distance away, having a grand old time playing a game with three non-changeling lynx.
Bounding up to him the instant he appeared, she looked at him in wild welcome. And since Bastien had no resistance where Kirby was concerned, he stripped and shifted . . . to find himself pounced on, his mate in a playful mood that translated into her human form when they shifted back twenty minutes later.
Purring in his arms in bed, her skin flushed, Kirby kissed him with luscious slowness. “Why are we torturing ourselves again?”
“I have no fucking idea.” His chest heaved up and down, his leopard's fur brushing against the inside of his skin.
Kirby ran her fingers over his kiss-wet lips. “I want you.”
At that instant, he couldn't think of any rational reason not to take her, brand her. So when the comm panel chimed, he ignored itâuntil he realized it was his alpha's code. Groaning, he left the erotic warmth of Kirby's arms to answer the call, audio only.
What Lucas had to say changed the tenor of the entire night. “We've had word from a lynx pack in Calgary that's been searching for a small family unit that disappeared twenty-three years ago.”
Kirby began to tremble, hope a tremulous whisper inside her.
Striding over to cradle her in his lap, Bastien asked the question she couldn't form. “What did they say?”
“One of their members decided on a largely solitary existence when he turned eighteen,” Lucas replied. “He stayed in erratic touch with the packâsometimes nothing more than a scribbled postcard after a year.”
His lynx nature, Kirby understood, must've been very strong.
“A year and a half after they'd last heard from him,” Lucas continued, “he contacted them to say he'd fallen for and mated with a human woman, had a baby girl, and intended to head home with his mate and cub in a month. No one ever arrived, and neither did the photos he'd promised of his new family.”
Blood cold, Kirby found her voice. “Why was I . . .” She couldn't say it, couldn't ask why the pack hadn't come for her.
“They couldn't find you.”
“What?” Bastien growled. “They lost a
child
?”
“The last message just said the family was on the road, roaming their way home.” Lucas's voice held taut frustration. “It meant the pack had no idea where to look when Kirby and her parents didn't arrive. They dispatched trackers, sent out requests to countless local and international agencies, asking for news on a family composed of an adult male lynx, a human female, and a female lynx cub.”
“But I never shifted.” Kirby ran a shaking hand through her hair, her thoughts in splinters. “W-what happens now?”
“You look very much like the elder who contacted me,” Lucas told her, “so there's not much doubt in my mind about the familial relationship. Still, I'd suggest a DNA test to confirm it, and quickly. Your grandma doesn't strike me as a patient lady. She's ready to claim her cub and your grandpa is willing to fight us all for you.”
Kirby's lower lip quivered as Lucas signed off, her throat thick. “I have a grandma and a grandpa.”
Bastien wrapped her in the solid safety of his arms. “Yeah, and they sound just as tough as their grandchild.”
Kirby began to cry in earnest. She had a family, and they hadn't thrown her away. They wanted her, had searched for her all these years. It altered the foundations of her existence.
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THE DNA
test was done by Dorian's scientist mate, and a mere twenty-four hours following Lucas's call, Kirby walked into the living room of DarkRiver's healer. To come face-to-face with an older woman who had eyes of pale lynx-gold set in a face that echoed Kirby's as strongly as Bastien's echoed his brothers. She took one look at Kirby and enclosed her in an embrace so fierce, Kirby could barely breathe.
But it was all right, Kirby holding on just as hard. Then she was being hugged by a man of medium height with snow-white hair who had tears in his eyes and called her “my cub's cub,” a hundred, a thousand words spoken over one another as they tried to catch up on a lifetime.
“My son,” her grandmother said an hour later, the three of them walking alone in the woods behind the healer's home, “he was a strong, wild one, and he
loved
you.” Her hands touched Kirby's cheeks. “Don't ever doubt that.”