Royal Pain in the Ass (16 page)

Oh great, this was going to be one of those mornings.
 
I sat up and tried to look him in the eye.

“
I didn
’
t intend for everything that has happened to happen.
 
Madame Hubert said despite her best efforts you don
’
t seem to be making much progress.
 
As you know the King and Queen want to properly introduce you into
our society.
”

I didn
’
t bother to try to hide the confusion on my face.
  “
What?
”

James sighed.
  “
I didn
’
t want to force this upon but now we have no choice.
 
You have been unofficially announced via the tabloids and many things are in question now.
 
My morals, my parentage, even my sister
’s character.
 
I cannot let my shortcomings affect her ruling.
 
As much as it pains me to do this, I have to ask you to do this.
 
Mind you, I ask out of politeness, it is not really a request.
”

I was taken aback.
  “
What are you saying exactly?
”

“
You cannot act as you have been permitted to do in the past.
 
I have spoken with Carolynn and we have found you an advisor.
 
You will be taught the proper ways to act and you will behave as a noble lady.
 
You must not act rashly.
 
Any other incidents like this will not be tolerated.
 
Do I make myself clear?
”

I stared at James for a long moment.
  “
So I
’
m going to be trapped in other words.
  I
’
m not going to be allowed to be myself?
”

James sighed.
  “
I don’
t want that,
”

“
But that
’
s exactly what you just told me.
  I
’
m rash, I
’
m outspoken, opinionated, childish, and foolish.
 
And you pretty much told me I can
’
t do that.
 
That I can
’
t be that.
”

“
Juliet, you are an adult.
 
You should act like it.
”

James got up and walked out of my room and left me staring at the door.
 
I rubbed my aching head.
 
This was too much.
 
I curled into a ball and went back to sleep.
   
I woke up to Gwen shaking me.

“
Hello gorgeous, how
’
s it going?
”
she smiled.

“Awful,”
I smiled back.

“Awful? 
You feel that bad?
”

I still felt like crap, but not as bad.
 
I shrugged.
  “I
’
ve felt better. 
What was I drinking last night?
”

Gwen smiled.
  “
The good stuff.
 
I brought you a present.
”
Gwen pulled out a flask.
  “
This is what Gran used to give Dad for his hangovers, then Ben, then me.
”

“
What is it?
”

“
Just drink it,
”

I took a swig and made a face.
 
Vomit tasted better.
  “
Ugh, what the hell?
”

“
It tastes awful, but trust me, it works.
 
I made it this morning before I had to be at work at six.
 
Look at me.
 
Do I look like I
’
m dead on my feet? 
Now go ahead, finish it.
”

I made a face but did.
 
She smiled and handed me a cookie.
  “
I don’
t want to eat anything.
”

“Trust me,”

I took a nibble and didn
’
t feel nausea rise up.  “Wow,”

“
I told you,
”

“
I have a question for you.
”

“
What
’
s that?
”

“
What happened last night?
”

Gwen laughed.
  “You don
’
t remember?
”

“No,”

“
Oh this is great.
”

“
What is great?
”

“
What do you remember?
”

“
Bits and pieces, something about a band . . . dancing with you . . . Gwen
  . . . 
what did I do?
”

“
Well Harper has been texting me.
”

“
Harper . . .
 
Harper, why does that sound familiar?
”

“
Oh my god, this is great!
  He
’
s smitten and you can
’
t remember him!
  I can
’
t wait to tell him that!
”

“
Wait, what did I do?
”

“
You asked him to stay last night,
”

“
I didn
’
t,”

“
I wouldn
’
t have let him, and you didn
’
t do anything but make out and get a little handsy.
”

“Oh god,”
My hand covered my face.
  “I
’
m so embarrassed.
”

“
Why?
”

“
I shouldn
’
t have done that!
”

“It
’
s okay. 
But Harper is really interested in you.
”

“I
’
m so not going there.
”

“
Where?
”

I sighed.
 
I was about to have to tell a long story.
  “I
’
m not ready for anything like that.
”

“
Why?
 
What happened?
”

“
This is a sad story, do you want to hear it?
”

“
If you
’
re okay telling it.”

I sighed.
  “
Back home there was this guy.
 
Chase Evans.
 
He was great, handsome, smart, funny, really sweet.
 
He was in my C
omm
unications
One class freshman year and we started dating not long after start of term.
 
Things were really great for a long time.
 
He started getting a little distant in our junior year and we ended it just before graduation.
 
As you know, I lost my mom.
 
She was sick for a really long time.
 
Well, while I was sitting by her bedside, he was at someone else
’
s if you catch my drift.
”

“Oh,”
Gwen grasped.

“
Yeah, as soon as I found out, I left him.
 
I had enough on my plate, I didn
’
t need to add his crap to it.
” 

Gwen nodded.
  “
That wanker doesn
’
t deserve you.
”

I laughed.
  “
Nope, but I
’
m not ready for something else so soon.
 
It just hasn
’
t been enough time yet,
”

Gwen pulled me into a hug.
  “I
’
m sorry honey. 
Are you feeling any better?
”

Now that I thought about it, my head wasn
’
t aching so badly and the light seemed less harsh.
  “
Now that you mention it, yes I do feel a bit better.
”

Gwen smiled.
  “
I knew it.
 
Now get up and get ready.
 
Your advisor is on his way here.
”

“His?”

Chapter XI
I

Gwen handed me a pair of pinstripe dress slacks a crimson top and a black blazer.
  “
This will make you and your dad happy.
”

I dressed quickly and followed Gwen down to the parlor.
 
She disappeared into one of the servant
’
s secret passageways.

“
Ah, Juliet, are you feeling better?
”
James asked, looking concerned.

“
Yeah, a few extra hours so sleep can do wonders.
”
I replied looking around.
 
Millie was sneering at me as usual, Carolynn had a tired expression on her face, bags were under her eyes and there was another person.
 
He had dark brown, almost black hair and deep chocolaty brown eyes.
  
He looked a little older than me, but not by more than a few years.
 
He also had a five o
’
clock shadow.

“
Juliet, this is your advisor, Xavier Lewis.
 
Xavier, this is my daughter, Juliet.
”

“It
’
s a pleasure,
”
I offered my hand.
 
He shook it and turned to my father.

“
I know this will be an uphill battle for you as you are starting with a challenge from the start.
”
James started.
  “
But I appreciate all that you can do.
”

Xavier nodded.
  “
I will do what I can.
”
Xavier turned to me.
  “
Lana called and warned me a bit about you.
 
She tells me you are more or less clueless.
 
I hope to fix this.
 
Lord Eastgate, with your permission I would like to show her how a lady behaves in public?
”

“
That sounds fine.
 
Juliet, are you feeling up to it?
”

“Sure,”

“
Very well, behave yourself.
” 

Xavier offered a hand and I took it.
 
He led me outside to where a car was waiting.
 
He gave me a stern look once we were seated comfortably.
  “
Honestly, I was expecting worse.
”

“
What does that mean?
”

“
It means Lana was damn near in hysterics when she called me.
 
At least there is a lot that is right with you.
”

“
How am I supposed to take that?
”

“
I am here to repair an image, and prevent further disasters.
 
To do that, I
’
m going to teach you how to prevent these sorts of events from happening again.
 
Because I
’
m good, I
’
m bloody brilliant when I have to be, but even I
’
m no god. 
To fix what happened will require a certain finesse.
 
This will begin by image.
 
I have some friends in high places, fortunately for you.
  I
’
ve called in a few favors.
 
Today we will be meeting with several other people and create an approved, more appropriate image for you.
”

“
Wait, what?
”

“
It doesn
’
t really have to be who you are, but it will have to be who you are in the public eye.
 
Does that make sense?
”

“
That
’
s stupid,”

“
That
’
s politics.
”
Xavier cut me off.
 
The look he gave me made me not want to argue.
  “
Politics are not about truth, but illusion and image.
 
Your father is a politician and by extension you represent him.
 
If he is unqualified to control a single unruly child how can he be qualified to make decisions for the good of the masses?
 
Do you see what I
’
m saying?
”

I sighed.
 
It made sense.
 

“
As you are not arguing with me, I imagine I
’
m getting through to you.
”

“
I can see what you
’
re saying, and I can even see the logic behind it and agree to it to some extent.
  But I can
’
t agree to all of it.
”

“
Then I hope you are partial to you room.
”

“
What?
”

“
They won
’
t let you out if they don
’
t trust you to behave yourself.
”

“
So what?
  I
’
m locked in a room the rest of your life?
 
You know, I am an American, I can always go back.
”

“
No, you see, with you it’s a special case. You will always be a public figure from here on out because of who you are. Don’t forget your uncle is the king. If the king orders you not to leave, no self-respecting Englishman will rush to help you.
”

I hadn
’
t thought of that.
  “
I don’
t promise to all of this, but I guess I can try.
”

“
Good, we
’
re making progress.
  We
’
re meeting with a stylist first.
”

Three hours later Xavier and I were at a small dress shop.

“
What is that?
”
Xavier growled at my shoulder.

“A tattoo.” 
I shot back.

“
What in the world would possess you to get that?
”

“
I have three.
”

Xavier pinched the bridge of his nose and took a calming breath.
  “
You are wearing on the last of my patience.
 
Where are your other two?
”

I showed him my ankle.
 
It was a music tattoo collage that combined a treble clef, bass clef, and varying notes.
  “
And there
’
s one on my hip.
”

“
Why would you do that to yourself?
”

“
The one on my shoulder is for my mom, and the other two were because I got bored.
”