Rockstar Rivals: First Time Gay Romance (5 page)

Chapter Eight

Mark

There was a party, probably, but that was the last thing that Mark was in the mood for.  The moment he'd stormed out of the young Southerner's room, the anger had passed, leaving nothing but overwhelming, intense arousal in its place.

God, he was such an idiot.  Liam was right about him, clearly.  Being kinky was one thing, but he'd scared the hell out of Gavin.  The poor kid had probably never had anything close to that happen.  Not only that, but he probably didn't know that some adults did that to each other.

Liam had told him that he had to stop doing this.  Surprising people with how dirty he really was, how he loved pain.  He loved giving it and he loved receiving it.  But no one that he'd been with had ever been able to keep up with him.

He scared them off.  Just like he'd scared Gavin off.  The young man had even ordered him to stay away.  Mark was a monster, someone who destroyed innocence out of petty jealousy.

Oh, but it had been so beautiful.  He'd never seen an ass as gorgeous as Gavin's. 

He went back to his room, wishing he had his whiskey.  He wasn't exactly going to go back to Gavin's room and just nicely ask for it back, though.  So he just flopped on his bed, stripping out of his clothes as quickly as he could.

Immediately, his hand was on his cock.  He closed his eyes and pictured that it was someone else touching him, just as he usually would.  This time, though, it was Gavin.  Gavin touching him, those huge dark eyes turned up toward him trustingly as his hand worked along the length of Mark's thick cock.

Stroking, faster, harder, Mark's body was soon trembling.  He came, but that wasn't enough.  Not nearly enough.  So he kept going, though his cock was so sensitive that it hurt to keep touching himself. 

Only after the second time that he coated his own hand in his hot come while thinking about Gavin's gorgeous little body, his tight ass under his hand, the sweetness of his lips, was he able to finally close his eyes and get some sleep himself.

* * *

In the morning, Mark woke up feeling awful.  At first, he didn't remember why, but when he remembered what he'd done, how he'd literally bent Gavin over and beaten his ass for him, he knew he was probably in pretty serious trouble.

So he was remarkably well behaved from there.  He even made sure to be at the tour bus on time, which was probably the first time he'd done that in years.

He stayed apart from everyone else, murmuring a greeting but otherwise keeping away.  He had some serious processing to do, and he even ignored his brother, Liam, when he came to ask him what was wrong.

This time, it was Gavin that was late, while Mark was on time.  Things had sure changed.  Mark supposed he'd done that, he was to blame for the haunted look on Gavin's face, for how disheveled and exhausted he looked.

He tried hard not to look worried, but he was.  Damn it, what was wrong with him?  Why did he always go there and ruin everything?  Like things hadn't been bad enough before.  Now he had not only hatred, but also guilt, to deal with.

Liam stood up, and Mark had a sudden and intense sense of foreboding.  His brother loved to get all moral on him, and he seemed to have taken Gavin under his wing.  Mark tried to keep his face impassive as his brother looked at him, but he knew Liam could see right through him.  Damn it, he always could.

“Gavin, come back here.  I need to talk to you,” Liam said, and Mark swore internally.  This was going to be bad.  If Gavin told Liam even half of what had happened, Mark was going to be in some serious trouble.

Gavin hesitated, and then shrugged and went.  He had no reason not to, really.  He wasn't the one with the guilty conscience.  The two men spoke briefly, and Mark tried to hear what was going on while still trying to act cool.

Liam turned toward Mark, and his face was pale.  So Gavin had told.  Clearly, Gavin had told.  Mark braced himself for what was to come, but he knew better than to fight.

“I'm sorry.  It won't happen again.”  Liam was still talking to Gavin as he picked Mark up.  Mark was big, but Liam was bigger, and when it came down to it, there was nothing that Mark could do to stop this.  He'd actually lose more dignity if he fought this than if he just let what was going to inevitably happen, happen.

Liam got Mark around the chest, hoisted him out of his chair, and pulled him out of the bus.  In all honesty, Mark knew he deserved it, but he was gratified to look back and see Gavin looking astonished and a little worried.

“Hey, what are you gonna do to him?” the gorgeous young man called.  Why Gavin would care, Mark wasn't sure, but he was glad he did.

* * *

“Look, it's none of my business what you do in bed.  But Gavin admitted that you hurt him last night.”

Liam's voice was serious, and Mark rolled his eyes.  Big brother scolding time, how wonderful.  Self righteous prick.  Honestly, though, Mark knew a lot of his irritation was because he knew his brother was right.

Mark shrugged.  He tried to think of something to say, some way to defend himself, but he couldn't.  This was worse than anything he'd done before, and that was saying something. 

“You need to get this under control, Mark.  Gavin isn't just some groupie.  I don't know what your issue with him is, but he and Star Crossed are guests, okay?  You can't just go around abusing him.  It's not okay.  You've been an ass since the tour started and it's not going to be tolerated any more.”

Mark sighed and looked down at his own feet, ashamed of himself as only his brother could manage to make him feel. 

“Yeah, I get it,” he said quietly.  Liam peered at him suspiciously.

“This tour is going to be lasting almost two more months, Mark.  As of right now, you're off the tour bus.  You can take a cab, as far as I'm concerned.  Until Gavin asks you to come back on, you're off.”

Mark nodded.  It wasn't the first time he'd been kicked off the bus.  It was one of the downsides of having a brother who wasn't particularly impressed with you along all the time.  He was worse than their mother had been when they were growing up.

Liam peered at him, clearly suspicious of how meekly Mark was taking this.  Usually, Mark put up at least some fight, but not this time.  Of course, usually he felt far more justified in what he'd done than he did this time.

“See you there, then.”  Liam clapped his hand onto Mark's shoulder, which he accepted stoically.  Then his brother was gone, and a few seconds later, so was the bus, leaving Mark in the parking lot.

* * *

Mark could have taken some sort of selfish, vindictive glee in the fact that the cab he hailed got him to the hotel first.  He checked in and was at the venue before the bus even arrived.

He'd had a lot of time to think.  The only conclusion he'd come to was the same one he had every other time before.  He needed to just stay away from Gavin.  Somehow get through this tour without even speaking to him more than absolutely necessary.

These urges he had were dangerous.  He should have learned that by now.  They'd strained his relationship with his older brother horribly.  With this most recent thing, maybe past the point of no return.  They'd made it impossible for him to ever really be with anyone, to fall in love.

It seemed it was impossible to purge that part of his personality.  He'd tried.  He had invariably failed.  He was rich and famous, he could have been having normal, vanilla sex every day of the week, if he wanted to.  But that wasn't what he wanted.

Gavin wasn't the first person who had used it against him.  Several other people had blackmailed him, demanding money from him and threatening to tell the press everything if he didn't give it to them.  Mark always paid them.  It was just money.

It hurt more from Gavin, though.  Maybe because the young man seemed so very innocent.  Because he didn't seem like the type who would use that sort of thing against someone.  Or maybe it was just that it seemed like the only reason Gavin had told was because he wanted to be away from Mark.

Who could blame him?  Apparently the things that Mark wanted were just never going to happen.  Certainly not with Gavin, who was far too sweet and innocent about these sorts of things.  Either that or he had to be the best actor ever.  In the beginning, Mark had assumed that Gavin was just a hell of an actor, that no one could be that good and pure.  Now, he didn't know.  He just didn't know.

He sat in a corner, idly playing his guitar, starting to write a new song.  He didn't even pretend that it wasn't about Gavin.  He'd call it
My Innocent
, he decided.  It was one of those songs that seemed to flow right out of him, nice and easy, effortless even.

People started to arrive.  The members of Star Crossed looked at him, obviously not sure what to make of what they'd seen.  Mark shrugged it off.  There was only one member of the band he cared about at all, and things were decidedly rocky with him.

Still, he didn't even know their names.  He hadn't bothered to find out.  Guests, that's what Liam had called them.  Maybe he should make some sort of effort with that.  Later, though, not now.  He didn't want to answer any questions from them.

Members of Crossroads, Mark's own band, started to trickle in.  They were more used to this sort of thing, and they just waved casually at Mark, but knew to leave him alone.  Whatever had happened between the two brothers, they knew, would have to be dealt with by the two brothers.  Anyone else trying would probably get their head bitten off.

Liam himself walked in, and he nodded to Mark.  Mark looked at him, then deliberately turned back to his guitar.  He didn't want to talk to Liam, and honestly, it wouldn't help if he did.  The conditions had been set.  Gavin would invite him back on, or no one would.

Gavin came in last, when there was only five minutes left until he was supposed to be on.  He glanced around and met Mark's eyes.  Mark forced himself to look away.  His feelings toward Gavin were complicated, to say the very least.  He didn't want to see Gavin gloating.  He knew he was being shamed already, he didn't need to make it worse.

To his surprise, Gavin walked up to him.  The man looked gorgeous, every bit as much as usual.  He was dressed more sedately, in a pair of tight black jeans and a black button up shirt that showed off every inch of his gorgeous body without flaunting it.

Even more surprising than Gavin seeking him out was the fact that he saw no mockery in those dark eyes.  He saw no gloating.  Whatever the reason that he'd come to seek Mark out, it hadn't been anything like that.

Gavin met his eyes directly.

“I didn't tell him to do that.  I didn't ask him to kick you off the bus,” he said.

Chapter Nine

Gavin

After a long talk with Liam, Gavin had been more determined then ever to stay away from the confusing lead singer of Crossroads.  Just like always, though, the moment that Gavin saw him, his resolution seemed to melt like sugar in hot water.

Before he even knew what he was doing, he was marching over to the older man.  Honestly, there was something he needed to say to him.  Something that Mark needed to hear.

“I didn't tell him to do that.  I didn't ask him to kick you off the bus,” Gavin said firmly.  He was not a tattletale, and honestly, as annoying and obnoxious as Mark could be, Gavin hadn't even wanted him gone.

Mark raised his head, and Gavin realized that he was wearing the same clothes he'd been wearing when he'd been kicked off the bus.  He looked good in the jeans and t-shirt, of course.  He looked good in everything.  But even on this short tour, he'd noticed that Mark tended to try to look amazing when he went on stage.

The look in Mark's gray eyes haunted Gavin.  They seemed lost, somehow, maybe even a little scared.  Maybe it was his imagination, but he didn't think so.  It seemed quite possible that Mark was just as confused about what had happened as Gavin was.  Maybe more so.

“How did he find out, Gavin?” Mark said, his voice quiet.  Even though he didn't seem mad, Gavin winced a little.  He didn't lie, though, that wasn't his style.

“He asked me if you hurt me.  I told the truth,” Gavin said simply.  It
was
the truth, and they both knew it.

To his surprise, Mark didn't get angry with him.  He just nodded, like that was nothing more than what he expected.

“That's fair.  I imagine you were probably pretty relieved to have me gone, though.”

Gavin looked at him.  Since when had Mark been concerned about what was 'fair'?  Sometimes it really felt like Mark was two different people, and one of them made a lot more sense than the other.

He would have loved to be able to say that yes, he was glad Mark wasn't on the bus.  That's how he should feel.  But he was learning very quickly that life was seldom as straightforward as he'd thought it would be.  Some things that felt right were wrong, and vice versa.

“No,” Gavin sighed.  “No, but I should have been.”

It was nothing but the pure truth.  Liam told him to stay away from Mark, and Gavin's brain fully agreed.  That didn't stop the draw of his heart, though.  He wanted to be around Mark, even if Mark was being horrible to him.

He gave the other man a bit of a smile, then turned away.  He was on soon.  It was easy to lose track of time when he was with Mark, but he still had a show to play tonight.

“Gavin, wait.”  There seemed to be an undertone of something close to desperation from Mark, and Gavin turned around, his head tilted to the side, dark eyes inquisitive.  “I have something I need to say to you.”

Once he had Gavin's attention, though, he seemed to be in no hurry to speak.  He ran his fingers through his wavy, leonine mass of hair, gazing at Gavin.  Whatever he was about to say, it clearly wasn't easy for him.

Still, that didn't prepare him for what Mark said.

“I'm sorry,” he spoke quietly, but his eyes were fixed on Gavin's and he seemed to be speaking sincerely.  “You know, about what I did.  It's stupid, but I thought you would … Hoped you would ...”

His voice trailed off, but Gavin was pretty sure he knew what Mark was going to say.

“Like it?” he guessed.  Mark nodded, and Gavin sighed softly.  It would be so easy to just let that go.  To let Mark think what he already thought.  To turn away, and this time, he was sure Mark would let him go.

He couldn't do it.

“I did like it,” he said quietly.  “It scared me.  I ain't done nothing like that before, Mark.  But I did like it.”  He gave him a bit of a smile.  “You're just lucky I didn't track you down and do it back.  I thought about it.”

Mark looked utterly astonished, and then a smile lit up his face.

“You … You liked it?  Gavin, I ...”

“You're on in five, Mr Cross,” one of the roadies said, cutting off whatever Mark had been about to say. 

“Got it,” Gavin said, trying not to take it out on the poor man.  But he would have killed to find out what Mark was going to say to that.  He looked so happy all of a sudden, in a way that Gavin was certain he hadn't seen before.

“I'll be seeing you around,” he told Mark, and it was a promise.

There was no time to do anything other than grab his guitar and run on stage with the rest of his band.

* * *

The lights were as bright as ever, the music as electrifying, the crowd as loud and appreciative as ever, but Gavin couldn't stop thinking about Mark.  Every song he sang ended up being for him.  He glanced once into the offstage area, and Mark was standing there, watching him and suddenly, Gavin knew what he had to do.

“All right, guys, you've been awesome,” he told the crowd, who cheered him even louder.  “Now it's time to put your hands together and welcome Mark Tisdale and Crossroads!”

Just like Gavin had known they would, the crowd roared their approval.  Mark had this idea that everyone liked Gavin more.  It clearly wasn't true, and maybe this would help Mark to see it.  If nothing else, it should show him just how much Gavin respected and admired him.

Mark ran out, and the crowd went wild.  Which was nothing compared to what they did when Gavin flew at Mark and gave him a big hug.

The fans loved it.  They screamed, and their screams filled the whole arena.  Gavin pulled back from the hug, gave Mark a smile, and then disappeared off to let the man do what he did so well.

This time, Gavin stayed.  He watched the whole show.  He had acted on instinct, but he was sure that he'd done the right thing.  Mark had energy again, he seemed to bask in the adoration of the crowd, and it was so beautiful to watch.

* * *

When the concert was over, Mark ran back, and he headed right for Gavin, just as he'd hoped that he would.  Oh, he was doing an amazing job of steering clear of Mark, clearly.

“Hey, man, what the hell was that?”  Mark didn't seem upset.  He seemed happy, high on life, and Gavin decided to tease a little.  To play dumb.

“What was what?” he asked, giving him a small smile. 

“You called me out by name and you hugged me and … Fuck it.”  Practically vibrating with energy from the show, Mark grabbed Gavin around his waist and whisked him off to an empty dressing room, closing the door firmly behind them.

Gavin stared at the gorgeous man, and he didn't resist.  Not even for a second.  His ability to resist Mark seemed to be pretty low at the best of times.

When the door was shut, Gavin found himself pushed against it.  Mark was so big, and even if he'd wanted to get away, Gavin knew that he couldn't have.  Mark pinned him there and then suddenly kissed him, pressing close against Gavin's slender body.

For a moment, just one single, solitary second, Gavin's rational mind spoke up.  He shouldn't be doing this.  He'd chosen to stay away, and for a very good reason.  Many very good reasons.  It was just that one moment, though, and then arousal took over, intense desire washing everything else away.

So he did the only thing he could do.  He wrapped his arms around Mark and he kissed him back, his mouth opening to his, his tongue tangling with the older man's.  His cock stirred in his tight black jeans, hardening just as quickly as it always seemed to when he was around Mark.

Finally, Mark pulled back, and there was a predatory look in his eyes that Gavin had never seen directed his way before.  It was overwhelming, but irresistible.  Everything about Mark was.

“We were talking about spanking before we were so rudely interrupted,” Mark commented, but it didn't sound casual.  This was what Liam had been warning him against.  This intensity, the fire that he saw in Mark's eyes.

“Yeah.  Yeah, we were.”  Gavin looked at Mark, and part of him hated to say it.  He hated not knowing how things worked, but he was way out of his league here and he was sure Mark knew it anyway.  “But this ain't something I've ever done before, Mark.  I don't know what I'm doing.”

A hard thing to admit, and Gavin wanted to sigh when he saw Mark's eyes go thoughtful.  His worst fears didn't happen, though.  He'd been worried that Mark would pull away, maybe even be disgusted by his inexperience, but Mark didn't seem inclined to do that.

Instead, he reached down and caressed Gavin's cock, which was already hard but at Mark's touch it it got even bigger, even more swollen.  Gavin hissed with pleasure and pushed into his hand, his eyes locked on Mark's gray ones.

“No one's ever touched you like this?” Mark questioned, and Gavin was pretty sure he saw some serious interest in that handsome face.  That hand certainly knew what it was doing, rubbing and stroking his cock, even pinching lightly at the sensitive tip, all through Gavin's jeans.

Gavin forced air into his lungs, resting his head back against the door.  Once more, he was putty in Mark's hands.  Even the thought that this might be just one more plan to humiliate him couldn't stop him from doing this.

“No.”  He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.  “No.  Only with girls.”

Mark opened his mouth, and then there was a knock on the door and Liam's voice could be heard even through the door.

“Gavin, you okay in there?”

Gavin smirked a little when he heard Mark softly, but viciously, utter the word “Cockblocker!”  Honestly, Gavin felt the same, but he knew that Liam was just trying to help.

“Well, come out.  There's another party and the limo's here.  We all want you there.  Even you, little brother.”

The older man's eyes widened, and Gavin shook his head.  Liam was watching closely.  He'd clearly seen them go into this room together.  It was nice that he was trying to protect Gavin, but Gavin was starting to feel like he really didn't need protecting.  Not from what Mark wanted to do to him.

Mark sighed and let him go, and Gavin opened the door.  Liam smirked at them, even when Mark glared back.

“You're a pain in my ass, Liam,” he growled.

Liam actually laughed, and then things started to happen very quickly.  Liam put his arm around Mark's shoulders, holding him back, while Drake, the drummer for Crossroads, appeared as if from nowhere and wrapped his arm around Gavin's slender waist.

“Party time,” Liam said, and then, just like that, Gavin was swept off.  He looked around as he was bundled into the limo.  Drake was a handsome man, but Gavin found himself uninterested.  There was only one person he wanted right now, right or wrong.

Both Liam and Drake seemed to be dead set on keeping him and Mark apart, though.  He watched as Mark, glowering in a way that should have been able to at least cause some serious pain for his brother, got into the limo too.

Deftly, Gavin shifted himself away from Drake.  No offense to him or anything, but he wasn't who he wanted to be with.  He made his way through the moving limo, determined to find the seat beside Mark.