Ready To Love Again (36 page)

He decided not to play Victor’s game. “Shawn’s a great kid. It wasn’t a chore to teach him how to pitch. He’s a natural.” When he glanced at Shawn, he was rewarded with a brilliant smile.

“Thanks, Coach!” Shawn waved one last goodbye and darted back toward his room.

Without an audience, and obviously disappointed he didn’t get the reaction he’d hoped for, Victor dismissed Chase with a wave. “Well, thanks anyway.”

Chase made his way out to the car. When they got home, Tony ran into the house, leaving him to contemplate the mistake he’d made at Katie’s. He leaned his forehead on the steering wheel and took a deep breath. When he’d acted like a complete ass, Victor had been able to take advantage of his jealousy. Chase felt like a petty schmuck. He growled and banged his forehead on the steering wheel. This was not the kind of attitude that would win Katie back.

Chapter 19

Chase hadn’t seen or spoken to Katie since she’d stormed out of the room and left him to deal with Victor. The days turned into weeks, and all he could think about was her. Every time he picked up the phone to call, he couldn’t go through with it. Shawn was gone, so he didn’t have an excuse anymore.

After one long day in surgery, he walked into the house to hear an argument upstairs between Tony and Liz. He listened for a moment to see if they would work it out before he intervened.

“It’s all your fault!” Tony yelled.

“No, it’s not. Dad said she left on her own.”

“She left because you were mean to her. I want Katie here, and you made her go away.”
 

Chase reeled at the venom in Tony’s voice. Tony rarely yelled, but when he did, it was usually for good reason.

“I did not!”

Chase could hear the tears in Liz’s voice when he ran past Gina, who had come from her room to stop the commotion. When he darted up the stairs, he found Tony and Liz standing toe-to-toe in the doorway to her room.

“What’s going on?” Chase asked.

Tony lowered his head and looked at his shoes, and Liz continued to cry. Chase wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and she buried her face into his shirt while sobs wracked her body. Looking at Tony, Chase repeated his question.

“I want Katie to come over, but Liz was so mean to her that she won’t come back.”

Chase shook his head and gave him a disappointed look. “We talked about this. Go to your bedroom, and I’ll be there in a minute.”

Tony turned and went down the hall while Chase took Liz into her room. He sat down on the edge of her bed and pulled her onto his lap.

“Sweetheart, please stop crying. Tony’s just upset that Shawn’s gone. I’m sure he didn’t mean what he said.”

“Yes, he did. I was mean to Katie, and now you’re sad because she isn’t your girlfriend anymore.”

“Liz, look at me.” He tilted up her chin, and her blue eyes were rimmed with tears. “Katie and I needed time apart. It wasn’t because of you or anything you did. Sometimes when you’re a grown-up, you have to make decisions that are hard and do things you don’t want to do.”

She shook her head. “Tony’s right. It’s all my fault. I don’t want you to be sad, Daddy. I promise I’ll be nicer to her.”

Chase felt terrible about losing Katie, but he’d tried to make the best out of an awful situation. He hadn’t realized his kids could see through him so well.

“Shawn’s gone to New Mexico, so we won’t see Katie for a while.”

Liz nodded before she looked up at her father. “I’ll try harder, Dad.”

Those simple words made her seem so grown up, and Chase hoped she was ready to come around. He kissed Liz’s forehead and left her to contemplate her promise.

When he reached Tony’s door, he could hear him sniffling on the other side. Chase opened it, and his heart broke at the sight of Tony curled up on his bed, his back to the door, while his body shook with silent tears. Sitting on the bed, Chase gently rubbed his back to calm him. Although he wanted to reprimand Tony for hurting his sister, Tony was just being honest about his feelings.

“I miss Katie and Shawn,” he whispered between his sobs.

“I know, slugger. I do, too.”

Tony turned over and looked at his father. “Then go get her.”

If only it were that simple. 
Chase shook his head. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I just can’t.”

“But I want her to be my mom,” he whispered, shocking Chase with his admission. “She said she loved me, and I love her. She needs to be here with us. Shawn said she’s sad all the time—like you. You weren’t sad when she was here. Now that Shawn’s gone, who does she have to keep her company?”
 

Chase’s heart clenched with the thought of Katie being alone and hurting over Shawn’s departure. “I don’t know.”

“Dad, please. I want Katie.”

Tony was hurting more than Chase had realized. He felt like the worst parent on the planet. Tony should be in therapy with Liz, but Chase had overlooked that his son needed help, too. Katie had seen it, but he had thought Tony was fine because he didn’t show any outward signs or act out. Chase pulled Tony into a hug and rocked him back and forth.

“I know, slugger.”

Chase wanted to tell him he would try to get Katie back, but he couldn’t set up a false sense of hope. Liz still needed help. Although she had made positive strides, he still worried her behavior around Katie would be governed by guilt rather than an actual desire to have her in their lives.
 

Chase rocked Tony until he fell asleep and then slid him under his covers. The light to Liz’s bedroom was off, and her heavy breathing indicated she was sound asleep. He made his way downstairs to find Gina sitting at the island in the kitchen with a pint of ice cream and a spoon.

“So what was that all about?” she asked before she stuffed a huge bite of Chunky Monkey in her mouth.

“Tony and Liz were fighting.”

“About?”

“Katie.” Gina’s mouth was full, so she waved her hand for him to continue. “Tony told Liz it was her fault Katie left.”

“No, that would be 
your
 stupid mistake,” Gina said, stabbing her spoon back into her ice cream. Chase chose to ignore her jibe. She’d hurled them at him several times a day since the night Katie left. “Pretty soon she’s going to start dating again. Several of the guys at work have contemplated asking her out. What will you do then?”

“Are you sure it was Katie?”

“Hello, Chase! Wake up! She’s a beautiful woman. How long do you think it’ll be before someone asks her?”

Chase stood motionless for several minutes, feeling the ache in his chest at the idea. Although he’d always known it was a possibility, he thought she would wait a while longer before diving into another relationship. Chase shook his head and took a few steadying breaths before turning back to Gina.

“How is the wedding planning going?”

Gina looked at him as if he’d asked her to jump out of a moving vehicle. She threw the spoon into the half-empty container and slammed it down on the counter.

“You have got to be kidding me. I just told you that the woman you love was going to be approached by another man, and you want to talk about my wedding plans? What the hell’s wrong with you?”

“Gina, please—”

“Don’t 
Gina
 me! I didn’t tell you that to hurt you. I told you to kick you in the ass and get you to do something—anything!” She glared at him. “Do you really want to pretend it’s not happening? That if you stick your head in the sand, it won’t hurt? It’s exactly what you did when Terri died and look where that got you!”

“Of course it hurts!” he yelled back at her. She’d hit a nerve. “It hurts worse than you can imagine. I want nothing more than to tell her I love her and ask her to come back.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Chase knew he could no longer deny the truth. He had let an amazing woman walk away, and now he wasn’t sure if she’d ever come back. 

“Finally!” She threw her hands in the air. “A reaction. Now go over there and tell her what you told me.”

“I can’t,” he muttered.

“You can’t, or you won’t?”

“Katie won’t even consider coming back unless she knows it won’t hurt Liz. Once Liz is able to accept her, I can try to heal the rift with Katie.”

“If you’re not too late.”

Her comment stung. Chase shook his head and walked out of the kitchen. He couldn’t deal with Gina and her constant pushing. He had a plan, and it would work. 

If he wasn’t too late.

~*~

The next couple of weeks were filled with work and therapy appointments. David hadn’t mentioned Katie again in their sessions, but Chase figured it was only a matter of time before he did. He walked into David’s office and plunked down in the chair opposite him.

“Hello, Chase,” he said. “How was your week?”

“Fine.”

“Did you get a chance to try out some of the suggestions I gave you last time?” David and Chase had discussed different ways he could open up to Liz and talk about her mother. They also had talked over the best way to set boundaries concerning her behavior. Initially, she’d responded well, but the first time she had an outburst and he enforced the new rules, she had thrown a temper tantrum that would have made a two-year-old proud. After that, it happened less often, until she understood he wouldn’t waver.

“I did, and Liz responded much better than we thought she would.”

“Excellent, excellent. Then I want to get into some things that might be a little painful to relive, but I think you need to explore them.”
 

Chase nodded for him to continue.
 

“I would like you to tell me about the accident.”

He stiffened. “I’d rather not.”

“I understand if you’re reluctant, but we
will
need to explore it at some point. It’s an important part of the healing process.”

“No, I don’t think so.”

David’s face softened when he recognized that Chase wouldn’t be pushed on this topic. “We don’t have to broach this subject now, but I’m afraid if you continue to put off the inevitable, it will only become more difficult as time goes on.”

“I appreciate your patience, but I’m not ready to talk about the accident.”
 

“Very well.” Chase was surprised he let it go so easily. “Then let’s talk about your dating history.”

“Well, um, I dated one woman for a while, but we ended things over a month ago.”

“Tell me about her.”

“She’s beautiful and caring. She has a little boy I adore, and he’s also Tony’s best friend.”

Chase talked about Katie, and once he started, he didn’t want to stop. He told David about her sense of humor, the way her green eyes danced with mischief when she teased, and that she hated spinach if it was cooked but loved it in salads.

“Katie’s amazing. She’s a marine scientist and works at the aquarium as an aquarist. She’s a fabulous mother and is so selfless.” Chase rambled on, but after several minutes, David cut in.

“So why did you break it off? It sounds as if she’s everything you want in a woman.”

Chase explained the problems they had with Liz and how she’d retaliated against Katie and her son. David listened while Chase recounted every detail of the decline in Liz’s behavior toward Katie and Shawn.

“So you ended things with Katie to help Liz?”

“No, Katie left so I could help Liz.”

David asked, “How do you feel about that?”

Chase raked his fingers through his hair. “I hate it. She’s the first woman I’ve felt anything for since Terri. But Liz is my main priority right now.”

“Do you love Katie?”

A lump formed in Chase’s throat. He swallowed, then said, “Yeah, I do. Very much.”

“What do you want to do about it?”

“Nothing.”

“Why?”

“Elizabeth.”

David shook his head. “And why is it that Liz’s holding you back?”

“Because she needs me right now.” 
Is he dense?
 Everything Chase was doing was for Liz.

“I’m going to be straight with you, Chase. Lots of relationships have their ups and downs, especially when you’re trying to blend two families together. I think you need to look a little deeper at why you were willing to let her go.”

The assumption that Chase would let Katie slip away for no good reason made him angry, but there was also a small spark of hope. Could he and Katie work on their relationship together while his family was still going through the healing process?

David looked at the clock. “It’s time for your monthly appointment with Allison. One of the interns will take Liz to the playroom and entertain her while you have your session. I hope you’ll think about what I said.”

He led Chase to Allison’s office, and Liz came out with the intern. She gave Chase a big smile and a small wave before disappearing down the hall.

“Chase.” Allison greeted him with a smile. She motioned for him to take a seat when David left to see another client.

“First off, I want to say what a wonderful child Liz is. She’s very strong-minded and loyal, particularly to her mother’s memory. It didn’t take very much prodding from me before she opened up about her mother. I’ve also gathered from our conversations that you don’t talk about Terri very much in your home.”