Rare and Precious Things (16 page)

19th October

Scotland

BRYNNE
and I were dressed for a wedding, but we weren’t the bride and groom. That honour went to Neil and Elaina today. That is if Neil didn’t drop dead from anxiety before he could say the vows to his bride.

“You’re going to wear a hole in this ancient stone floor if you don’t stop pacing like a lunatic. Are you going to sit in the corner and start cradling back and forth, too?”
I couldn’t help myself, the opportunity to wind him up was just too sweet to pass over.

Neil shot me a death glare
and kept right on with the back-and-forth. “Easy for you to say that to me, now that you’re already married. I remember how mental you were in that room before you said your vows to Brynne. You would’ve smoked your Blacks three at a time if we hadn’t hidden your stash away where you couldn’t find them.”

I shook my head. So that’s where my smokes went.
Fuckers. “Listen mate, all will be well in a very short time. You’re starting to worry me.”

Neil stopped with the pacing. “I feel ill,” he squawked
. “I need water.”

“I think you need a fucking bottle of Scotch, but
really, it’s going to be fine.”

He
nodded weakly and gulped in huge breaths of air. “What time is it?”

“About two minutes later than the last time you asked.”
I took pity on the poor sod. He was a miserable wreck. So I walked over to him and slapped him hard on the back, under the guise of brotherly love, and told him a little lie. “I saw Elaina in her dress all ready for you when I snuck a peek at my girl in that side room where they’re all waiting.” I hadn’t really seen Elaina, but he didn’t need to know that. I’d seen Brynne in her pale blue dress though.
Delicious.
I’d needed to make sure she was feeling okay because she’d woken up with a headache in the morning.

Neil started rapid
ly firing questions, too desperate to wait for any answers—which would all be made up, but my blending of the truth was beside the point, I needed to get him to the altar standing and conscious, as opposed to flat on his back. “You saw her? How was she? Did she seem nervous? Did she look worried about anyth—”

I lied
well, which wasn’t hard at all. Elaina would be lovely as she always was. “She looked gorgeous and like she couldn’t wait to get shackled to you, you big great ape. Do I need to tranquillize you or something?”

My comment di
d the trick because he came to life and spat back immediately, “I’ll remember this, when Brynne is ready to deliver your baby, and you’re a quivering mass of jelly on the floor. Don’t worry, I’ll return the favour with the offer of tranquillizers.”

Well,
fuck. He has a point.
I refused to think about the birth at that moment. If I started down that track, I’d be on the floor along with Neil. I’m sure my mouth looked a lot like Simba’s when he wants a krill; hanging open for a moment before I could get a grip and close it. Neil smirked at me and shook his head. I checked my watch and decided to give him the brutal truth. He was my best mate, and deserved to know what was coming. He’d survive it just like the rest of us. “Okay, I’ll be honest. The ceremony is a fucking stress ball of bullshit, and I can’t help you even a little bit. The good news? In about five more hours, you can start on the wedding night and that part is completely golden.” I trolled my hand like an airplane on a smooth ride.

Neil
looked at me as if I were the biggest idiot ever to draw breath. I shrugged at him and we both busted into laughter at how fucking ridiculous this was, easing away all the tension. He looked better and that was the main purpose for my confession. Neil would be fine. I knew nobody stronger than him, or more loyal. The two reasons he was my partner and confidant. He was getting his girl after years and years of waiting for her, and I was happy to see it happen. Honored to be standing up for my friend on his wedding day.

A knock sounded a
t the door, and Elaina’s mum peeked in. “Is it all right for me to come in?”

“I’ll leave you to it then, broth
er.” I excused myself, leaving Neil and his future mother-in-law in peace. Neil had hit the lottery with her. Caroline Morrison was a sweet lady and a loving mum. The polar opposite of my mother-in-law, I thought with a grimace.
It must be nice.

I stepped outside and checked my Rolex again. If I made it quick, I had just enough time
to get in a smoke before curtain call.

The
stunning landscape in all its harsh ruggedness framed the house perfectly. Neil’s place up here in Scotland was quite the countryman’s establishment. I stood under a flowering tree and lit up a clove. My resolve to work on getting into some kind of treatment for my
issues
had helped with the anxiety of flashback dreams thanks to Brynne, and only her. As far as doing a thing to help me cut back on the coffin-nails? Not so much. One step at a time I told myself as I sucked it down.

I stubbed out my ciggie and looked for someplace to get rid of the butt. I didn’t want to put it in my pocket, which seemed a bit crude considering the occasion
, but I might have to.

“
Ethan?”

I turned around to find someone I never thought I’d ever see again.
My heart dropped like a stone, and then bounced along the pavers, propelled by a momentum that seemed to have no fucking end. My past come for its due notice, I suppose.

“Sarah…” My voic
e cracked out her name as I took her in, right before me after so long. She was just as beautiful as ever; didn’t look like she’d aged a bit. The smile she gave me did things to my heart I didn’t want to face up to again.
Don’t fucking smile at me, Sarah. I don’t deserve it.

When her arms came out
to embrace me, I closed my eyes, terrified of what I’d feel—and also, the irony of fate, that only now, put her back into my path again.

“ARE you all
right?” Brynne asked softly, her eyes looking up at me with concern.

Not really.
“Yeah. Why do you ask?”

She shrugged
and moved her fork around her dinner plate, doing a good job of not eating. “You seemed preoccupied during the ceremony, and now even,” she said glumly.

Pull it together
.
“No, baby.” I put my hand around her neck and pulled her under my chin for a kiss to the top of her head. “Still have the headache?”

She nodded against my jaw. I rubbed the back of the top of her neck, massaging deeply
on the pressure points.

“
Mmmmm, that really helps,” she moaned, straightening her neck into my hand so I could work out the kinks.

“Good. I want you taking
it easy at the—”

“Ethan, you haven’t introduced me to your
new bride,” Sarah interrupted us from behind, her pleasant expression merely a mask for propriety’s sake.

Fuck.

AAAAAND it begins.

So,
Sarah was going for martyrdom today. Just throwing herself down on the track before a speeding train. I tried to wrap my head around her motives, but it wasn’t working. She wished to meet Brynne…my
wife
? She wanted to know all about our posh wedding and honeymoon? She enjoyed hearing about the baby, and found it amusing we weren’t going to know in advance if we were getting a boy or a girl? She needed to congratulate me on my good fortune with Blackstone Security?

Why? How
could she bear to do any of it? I surely couldn’t. I needed to get the fuck out.

But t
here was no place to hide here, except for the bottom of a pint. Or four. Best thing I could figure to do given the situation.

A
former soldier’s wedding with my pregnant bride beside me…

Getting
pissed might possibly dull the edge enough I could pull off the nice-and-happy required for a marriage celebration. Or maybe not.

R
ather a blessing that Brynne wasn’t feeling much in the party mood actually. This way she might not notice just how fucked in the head her husband was.

I thought I’d handle
d Sarah’s surprise visit fairly well, given I had absolutely no time to process, before I was expected to go stand up for my friend in front of a crowd of people. And with Brynne right there, glowing with new life and enjoying the moment. No fuckin’ fair.

Don’
t say that. None of this is fair. Not for Sarah. And certainly not for Mike.

I’d been
too distracted during the ceremony to pay much attention to what Brynne might be noticing. My girl could read me so well. She did not need this worry added to her plate, in addition to feeling ill already. I couldn’t allow it.

I’d thought
I might somehow make it through the evening, until Sarah caught me as I was getting fresh, iced water for Brynne. She came to tell me she had to leave…with tears in her eyes. She said she hoped she could have stayed for Neil’s sake, but once she arrived and saw us both, it was just too hard. Too much. Too painful. So she must go.

And I started drinking.

“HOW’S your headache?” Gaby asked.

“Unfortunately
for my head, still with me,” I answered wryly. “One of the not-so-nice parts of pregnancy, and the fact I can’t take anything for it, sucks big time.” I lifted the iced water and pressed the side of the glass to my forehead.