Punishing Me (Shaft on Tour #6) (19 page)

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Mack

The
show went off without a hitch. The band is riding high on the excitement of
Chase’s news only made the night that much more special for everyone.

Everyone
except Camaron.

After
making some excuse about some phone calls she needed to return, she squared her
shoulders and left with Mike to head back down to the staging room where it was
quieter. It is safe to say Cam has been losing her shit all week, if you ask
me.

Since
she was clearly in no frame of mind to take it on herself, I took the privilege
of firing Aaron once Jared informed me he has all the right licenses and
permits to drive the Big Bitch. Along with a tank, big rig, firetruck, and
anything else on wheels. Even some things without, which really made me
curious.

When
I checked in with Henry, and brought him up to speed, he agreed it was the best
course of action, given the situation. I will also be the first to admit it was
a top highlight of my week to physically be the one to send Aaron’s ass
packing. Only falling short to Ireland kissing my cheek in front of everyone
after I beat that bragging bastard into a heaping pile of sobbing bitch boy.

Oh
and when Ireland smashed his face like a rotten tomato.

That,
I’ll be reliving for months.

Once
I get everyone back to the hotel, and settled in their suites for the night, I
head back to the room I share with Ireland. I can’t get the visions of her out
of my head. Her shock at the things Aaron had said about her, the sweet look
she gave me when she kissed me, but none of it compares to the way she looked
on stage.

Fucking
perfect.

When
Ireland joined the band, I had already been assigned to stay back in Nashville
with Rae, Daisy, and the kids. Even when we have all made the trip to a show, I
stayed back with the ankle biters so that Daisy and Rae could enjoy the concert.
Of course, I watched on the monitors with Jazz when I could, but it doesn’t
compare to being up close and personal while she does her thing.

The
lights shone down on her, the energy rolling off her in waves. I fed from it
like a starving man. It sucked me in and I was unable to look away for even a
moment. All of it made things very clear to me, as if I needed the epiphany.

Things
between us are going to change tonight. No matter what I have to do.

Opening
the door, I slip inside and hear the shower running. Sitting on the edge of the
bed closest to the door, I kick out of my shoes and thumb through the checklist
on my phone. I groan, forcing myself to stay focused on the task at hand,
instead of doing what I really want to do. It takes every ounce of resolve not
to give in to the desperate urge I have to barrel into that bathroom to touch
her.

On
the bus, it is very easy for her to ignore me. The tight confines make privacy
nearly impossible, and there seems to always be something that needs to be
handled that can’t wait.

Except
tonight.

Everyone
is tucked away in their respective rooms, with their other halves, with Jared
and Mike told to keep shit confined and quiet for the night. Ireland has
nowhere to go, but right here with me. We are going to talk this shit out if it
kills me.

Famous
last words…

The
water turns off, steam pouring out of the two-inch crack in the partially
opened door. My eyes lock on it as a shock of pale pink skin flashes in the
opening. My cock hardens immediately, wishing that damn door would open and give
me a look at the perfection that is her body.

The
sink kicks on and off, the hair dryer runs for a good ten minutes, then the
sink again. Glimpses of a hip or her hands make it impossible to take my eyes
off the door. My patience is shot to shit and I am ready to fall to my knees
and beg.

When
it finally does open all the way, and she steps out in a white hooded
sweatshirt and tight black boy shorts, I am damn near salivating.

“I
didn’t hear you come in,” she says, walking over and tossing some things into
her bag before zipping it shut and shoving it to the floor. Climbing onto the
bed she crosses her legs and grabs the remote from the nightstand.

“You
hungry?” I ask, leaning over and pulling the room service menu from the
nightstand drawer. “We can order up.”

“Or,”
she shrugs, not taking her eyes from the television. “We could go down and
eat.”

Blowing
out a breath, I toss the menu down on the bed beside me. “You don’t get to
avoid being alone with me forever, you know?” I ask, standing to my feet and yanking
the remote from her hand. “Eventually, we have to have this conversation.”

“What?”
she asks, shifting uncomfortably. “What could there possibly be left to say?”

“That
I can’t fix what I’ve done,” I say, dropping to my knees beside the bed and
taking her hands in mine. “But, I love you. We’ve lost so much time already
because of my mistakes. I don’t care if you spend the rest of your life
punishing me for every time that I’ve hurt you; but, I swear to fuck, I’d die
before I ever make you cry another unhappy tear.”

She
gapes at me, her jaw nearly bouncing off her lap. I squeeze her hands, my
thumbs brushing over her pulse points. Her eyes drop to our joined hands, but I
continue to speak, knowing that I am getting through to her. “I know you love
me. That you want me as much as I want you. Please, all I’m asking for is a chance.”

“I
can’t,” she breathes, emotion filling her voice.

~Ireland~

“Don’t
say that,” he pleads, his hands clinging to mine so tightly it’s as if he is afraid
I will disappear if he loses contact for even a second. He has every right to
believe that, because if he let go, I guarantee I would run like hell. His
thumbs brush over my wrists causing a shudder to run through my body. I wince,
trying to pull away, but he doesn’t let me. Leaning back a little, he meets my
eyes, searching them. “I can’t give up when I know we have something here that
is worth fighting for. What are you so afraid of?”

“You!”
I scream, shoving free and leaping from the bed, my knees nearly buckling the
moment my feet hit the floor. The single word admission is almost too much to
bear, but it doesn’t stop there. With my next breath, everything comes flying
out of my mouth without warning. “Me … you … us! Letting you in… Shutting you
out for good. Everything about you terrifies me. You are the only person who
can really hurt me; but, without you, I know I’ll never be whole. You hold
parts of me that I can never get back, but pieces that, without you, I’ll never
need. So for me to hear the words come out of your mouth now, that I would’ve
given anything to hear eight years ago, it fucking rips my heart out.”

“Baby,”
he whispers so softly as he rounds the bed towards me, that I almost miss it.
The second he is within reach, one of his hands slides to the small of my back,
pulling my body flush with the hard planes of his. Heat radiates, his warmth
surrounding me like a soothing balm. My eyes flutter closed when the back of
his other hand comes up and brushes over my jaw. “I loved you even before I
knew what love was.”

“It
sure didn’t feel like it,” I say, pushing back the tears as I open my eyes.
“Forgive me if I don’t jump to believe you. Every time I put my faith in
someone, they let me down. I can’t help waiting for that other shoe to drop.”

“Loving
you was always easy, Ireland. If anything, I probably loved you too much.”

“How
does loving me too much equal breaking my heart?” I ask, trying to shove him
away. “That doesn’t make a bit of fucking sense to me. Just sounds like you’re
a selfish bastard who didn’t know what to do with me once you got what you
wanted.”

“Ireland,
I’m not the kind of man girl’s dream of being with. I fuck everything up,
always have. Thing is, Baby, the only regret I’ll ever have in my life is not
staying in that basement with you eight years ago and letting you believe the
lie that you fell in love with a good man,” he explains, pulling me hard
against his chest. “You deserve so much better than settling for me. Even then,
I knew you were destined for so much more than anything I’d ever be able to
give you. Every damn time you looked at me, it was like you saw something or
someone else. I never understood it. I sure as fuck couldn’t have lived with
myself if your love ever turned into resentment because you finally figured out
that what you actually saw wasn’t really there.”

“So,
what’s changed now?” I ask, staring up into his eyes, a tear slipping down my
cheek. “How am I supposed to believe you’ve suddenly had some epiphany and now
you can’t live without me?”

“That’s
the thing,” he replies, brushing away the tear with his thumb. “I’ve always
felt so empty. When you walked back into my life, you began filling it. I can’t
go back to how it was. Not now, not ever. You have the choice to walk away and
find better, because we both know that you will. Or take me as I am.” Grabbing
my hand, he presses my palm to his chest. “This heart, I didn’t know I had, is
all yours. It always has been. All you have to do is accept this fucked up man,
standing here, begging you to love him and be with him because you see
something when you look into these eyes worth a damn.”

 “In
my eyes, Dominick,” I say, my fingers going into his newly shorter red hair and
twisting the strands. “There’ll never be a better man for me, than you.”

“Jesus,”
he mutters, his lips colliding with mine.

My
heart swells in my chest. Tears clog my throat and burn behind my eyelids as my
world finally begins to feel right for the first time in over eight years.
Dominick’s hands go to my ass, urging my legs around his waist as he fumbles to
the bed.

Lying
me back on the white comforter, he breaks the kiss. Tearing his shirt over his
head, he whips it to the floor before doing the same with my sweatshirt. His
hands freeze on my sides, eyes glued to mine as his tongue runs over his bottom
lip. Leaning down, he smiles before brushing his nose along mine. “I love you,
Ireland,” he whispers, smiling against my skin.

Trailing
his lips down my throat, his tongue traces my collarbone. Sighing, I grab onto
his forearms as he makes his way down my chest. Greedily, I arch my back when
he finally sucks one of my nipples into his mouth. He growls, the vibrations
going straight to my clit.

The
weight of his body presses into mine, and I welcome it. I want to feel all of
him. “Please. Dominick,” I whimper, my hands going to his back in an attempt to
bring him closer to me. “I need more.”

Leaning
back, nearly his entire body leaves me. His fingers tug at the edge of my
bottoms, pulling them free of my legs. Taking his index finger, he traces
feather light circles up my inner thigh, stopping shy of where I want him.

My
body trembles. I could scream in frustration, demand he get on with it, but I
don’t. Every touch stokes the flames raging in me. Each second he holds back
only makes me want him that much more. The pleasure in the anticipation is
almost too much to bear. If this were anyone else, I would roll him over and
take what I want without hesitation.

With
Dominick, it’s different. My body, though desperate for the release I know he
can give me, aches for this moment never to end.

Bringing
my leg up to his shoulder, he turns his face and presses his lips to my ankle.
My body shivers as he kisses a trail up the inside of my leg to my knee before
doing the same with the other. “I’ll never get enough of you,” he whispers over
my skin as he begins trailing kisses up my inner thigh. “Your taste on my lips,
after you’ve kissed me, the smell of your perfume on my t-shirt. I’ll never
wash that damn thing again.”

“Dominick.”

“The
way you say my name.”

“Dominick,”
I pant again when his hand cups me. His thumb rolls over my clit and I nearly
come off the bed. Heat spreads throughout my body, my toes curl.

“I
can’t wait to be inside you,” he continues, making me moan.

“Anytime
you’re ready,” I say breathlessly.

“I
need a condom,” he says, leaning back, his eyes going to the other bed where he
tossed his bag when we checked in. “Make no mistake, I’m clean, baby. But, as
much as I want to feel you without the barrier, I don’t want to take the chance
of one of those positive piss-stick fucking things up later on, now that I
finally have you back.”

Leaning
up as best I can, I cup his face in my hands and pull him close. “I’ve been on
the pill since I was fifteen years old, Dominick. I get tested regularly and
never been without a rubber. Except with you. I don’t need anything between
us.”

He
nods in agreement, but says nothing. Pushing from the bed, he shoves his jeans
and boxers down his legs, kicking free of them before climbing between my
thighs. Flattening his hand on my abdomen, he slowly slides it upward until
cupping the back of my neck. Fisting his cock with his other hand, he eases
himself into me slowly. Inch by inch, I feel him enter me, my body opening for
him.

“Put
your legs over my shoulders, Baby,” he says, covering me with his body.