Punishing Me (Shaft on Tour #6) (13 page)

Federal Ninjas

Mack

After
carrying Ireland to bed last night, I jumped right into action. With the better
part of an hour wasted going through the three files of prospects Henry had to
replace Jared, I was ready to throw something. These people were quickly passed
on months ago when he chose Mike and Jared.

When
it comes to our team, we aren’t going to settle.

After
an intense negotiation, and the added promise of taking on Ireland myself, I
have Jared agreeing to pack a bag for the last leg of the tour. I celebrated by
checking in over the phone with Big Man at the hospital, before grabbing a
workout in the gym.

By
the time the sun was coming up, I was running on the last of my adrenaline
fumes. Knowing the day was just getting started, and it would be time to run
the kid to school soon, I decided to close my eyes for five minutes after I got
out of the shower to re-charge.

That’s
where everything went wrong.

I
don’t know how much longer than five minutes I had been out, but it was just
long enough for all hell to break loose.

And
for me to see that things I put on the backburners have started to boil over
and make a mess.

Looking
down at a devastated Jazzie has me feeling about an inch tall. There hasn’t
been much time for me to process everything that has happened in the last
eighteen hours, let alone begin to figure out how to explain it to her.

Though,
any attempt made was going to be full of glitter, Happy Hut and cookies.

Lots
and lots of cookies.

“Listen,
man,” Hunter starts, lifting Jazz into his arms and standing to his feet. “I’m
sorry. I swear I had no idea the kid went rogue like that.”

Peeking
her eyes up from his shoulder, her teary browns hit me square in the gut. My
fucking heart breaks at the sadness there. No matter how hard I try, I always
disappoint and hurt the ones I care about most.

And
I have never been able to handle a crying woman…

Nothing
says guilt like watching tears leak from a female’s eyes. It’s a fate worse
than death.

“Sorry,”
she whimpers, her bottom lip quivering, shattering the last of my ability to be
upset about the loss of the hair I have grown out since high school. “Please
don’t be mad at me forever.”

“Come
here, ya big buncha crazy.” Reaching out, I take her from Hunter’s arms.
Instantly, her arms and legs wrap around me like some sort of monkey. Wrapping
her up in my arms, I squeeze her tightly to me. “Forever is a long time to stay
mad at my favorite girl. How about, after mommy gets you ready for school, I
take you. You and me, we need to have a chat.”

“Can
we get Starbucks?” she asks, her lip twitching.

I
nod, silently promising her everything in the store, along with my soul, gift
wrapped in one of those brown paper bags if she will smile at me right now.
“But, no fun,” I say, pressing my forehead to hers. “No fun allowed.” Her grin
peeks out, and a little giggle escapes. “That’s my girl.”

“Give
us girls about fifteen minutes,” Chase says, when I place Jasmine on her feet,
before they head out of the room.

“How
did I not see this coming?” Hunter asks, shoving a dining room chair. “All I
want is to give her everything I didn’t have. The kid didn’t have shit with the
egg donor; thank fuck, a lot of it she doesn’t remember. Why in the hell does
this parenting shit have to be so damn hard? Am I fucking up being a dad that
much?”

“No,”
I reply, shaking my head. “I don’t think you’re fuckin’ anything up. Jazz loves
you and Chase. It is hard as hell for her when that bus pulls out. She
struggles. I’m also not sayin’ that I could ever replace you, because fuck
knows, dude, I’m not even on the same playin’ field as daddy. Wasn’t much we
could do to change you being there and her being here. It is what it is and
that is hard for a kid to handle sometimes,” I shrug. “So, I did the only thing
I knew to do to take her mind off it. We played. Stupid, silly, I didn’t give
two shits as long as she was giggling instead of being sad. I dressed up in
whatever she handed me, sang Disney karaoke at the top of my lungs, anything
that girl wanted. The less Rae was able to do, the more I compensated, until
there was very little time we weren’t together. I spoiled her, sure, but ask me
if I care.”

“You
stepped up,” Hunter says, nodding his head.

“Yeah,”
I agree. I didn’t see it as that at the time. Hunter is a great dad and Jazzie
worships the ground he walks on, but she took him leaving her here hard. She
spent a lot of time sad and I refused to sit and let that happen. It was my
mission, daily, to make that kid laugh and smile.

“Thank
you,” he says, stepping up to me and clapping me on the back. “You don’t get
serious gratitude from me very often, mostly because I like to bust your balls,
but this is not lost on me.”

After
letting everyone know I will be calling a meeting the moment I get back from
taking Jasmine to school, I head down the hall to throw on the rest of my
clothes and search for a hat to cover my mangled hair. Out of habit, I do a
quick run through of the house before heading out to the car. The moment I step
around the corner of the den, my eyes lock on the glass doors that lead to the
back patio.

Ireland
sits on the edge of the steps, her head in her hands. The rise and fall of her
chest is steady until I see it hiccup.

She’s
crying.

Shit.

“Boy,
for someone who doesn’t like cryin’ women, Mack,” I grumble, shoving open the
door and stepping out into the warm Tennessee sun. “You’re sure on a roll today.”

I
step closer, but she doesn’t move. Either she doesn’t notice me, or doesn’t
care. I’m not about to ask which though. Brushing the wetness from her cheeks,
she stares out into the backyard. Her eyes are thoughtfully fixed on the big
ass play set Hunter bought, immediately after Jasmine came to stay with us. The
yard has quickly become filled with riding toys, playhouses, sandboxes, and
anything else they spot on a website, or in a store. The goal always was to
make this place, not just a refuge to hide away from the media and bullshit,
but something magical for them to come home to and just be.

Nothing
is perfect, by any means, but I think we have done a damn fine job of building
something we all love coming home to.

“Does
this hairstyle do it for you?” I ask, ripping the hat off my head, hoping to
break the tension of the moment. “At first, I wasn’t sure about it, but I think
it may be growin’ on me…”

“Go
away, Dominick,” she says, keeping her eyes fixed on the yard.

“Can’t,”
I reply, stepping closer. “We need to talk.”

Ireland
sighs and wraps her arms around herself. “I just need to be alone,” she
whispers almost so low I miss it.

“You
hate being alone.”

“Maybe,
but there’s one thing I hate more,” she fires back.

“Look,
I know things are fast paced around here. A lot has happened in a really short
span of time here and I’m tryin’, with all I got, to catch up. I also admit
that we haven’t talked about some things that should’ve been priority, like
fuckin’ you with my fingers in a parking garage,” I start, stepping closer to
her and letting the word vomit fly since she hasn’t moved to kill or dismember
me. Yet. “I’d like to do that again. Very much, actually. Maybe include my
mouth, or even my cock, at a later date. Perhaps, when you don’t want to rip
him from my body. Since this is the case, it’s important you know that,
whatever I did to upset you, I am sorry. Very sorry.”

“Are
you seriously trying to be funny right now?” I don’t even need to see her face
to know she is rolling her eyes at me. “Or is that some kind of line?”

“Depends.”
Sitting down beside her on the steps, I lay my head on her shoulder. Bending
awkwardly, I stare up and bat my lashes. “Are you still mad at me?”

“I
wasn’t mad,” she says, sounding defeated. “It hurt.” Shifting away from me, she
braces her hands on her thighs.

“What
did?”

A
stray tear falls from her face, landing on the back of her hand. My hand moves,
covering hers immediately. The motion feeling as natural as breathing yet it
sends a jolt of electricity through me.

“Looking
into Jasmine’s heartbroken eyes and seeing someone I didn’t like.” She
stiffens, her eyes going to our hands. I give her hand a reassuring squeeze.
“What are you doing, Dominick?” she asks, her eyes meeting mine.

“It’s
difficult to be this close to you and not touch you.”

The
words surprise her, just as much as they do me, but I can’t say they aren’t
true. Ever since I first met Ireland, I wanted her. I had to have her. Even if
I knew it wouldn’t last.

The
patio door opens behind us. I slam my eyes shut, not wanting the moment to be
over. Not just yet. These little moments where she gives me pieces of the girl
I once knew, mixed with the fire of the woman she is now are becoming like a
drug to me. I crave the tenderness in her eyes, but long for the bite of that
smart mouth. “There you are.” Pushing to my feet, I turn and open my eyes,
spotting Chase as she steps out onto the patio. “She’s waiting by the door for
you.”

“Kid
has school,” I say when Ireland looks up at me curiously. “Wanna ride shotgun
to the schoolhouse?”

“No,
you go ahead. Though, I don’t think those two words are supposed to be used in
the same sentence,” she replies, the edges of her lips quirking up in a smile.
“There’s a group of federal ninjas, just out there hiding, ready to pounce on
anyone who says certain phrases or search suspicious things on Google.”

“Noted,”
I say, giving her a mock salute. “Beware the federal ninjas.”

Making
my way through the house, I spot Jazz pacing in front of the door, swinging her
purple lunch box in time with each step. “Ready to go?” I ask, grabbing my keys
from the hook.

Scooping
her up, I head out the door for my car. A little drive, a little chatter, and
some hot cocoa and cake pops with the kid is exactly what we both need after
this morning. Once I get back home, I’ll lay down the new plans, get my hair
cut into something that doesn’t look like I let the Tasmanian devil hold the
shears, after downing a case of Redbull, and lastly, do what I have been aching
to do for longer than it’s acceptable for me to admit: figure out a way to get
my hands on Ireland.

The
vulnerability I saw in her eyes earlier takes me back to a time when things
were very different. Back before she hated me. Even as a kid, it wasn’t hard
for me to see that Ireland was searching for something. Getting her to let me
in was a piece of cake, a piece of sweetness I feasted on like it was my last
meal before the electric chair.

Problem
is, with a last meal, you don’t get to go back for seconds…

And
goddamn do I want seconds…

And
thirds…

Laws of
Intimidation

Ireland

Every
conversation with Dominick leaves me more confused than the last. The moment I
think I know what is going on, he opens his mouth and says something completely
blindsiding. My issue is, as much as I want to believe he could be different, I
hold my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I
don’t know what to think about him being the one to go back on tour with the
band, instead of Big Man. Yet another blindsiding call that I didn’t see
coming, though I understand Henry wanting to be home with his girls completely.

Luckily,
Dominick didn’t press when I declined his invitation to ride out with him to
take Jazzie to school. After my mini-breakdown, followed by his need to dump a
truckload of heavy on my already weighted down mood, I couldn’t go. As much as
I would love to spend time with the kid, the ride back alone with Dominick
would only end one way.

Naked
and having very hot, extremely loud sex in some ridiculous place. As much pent
up history as there is between us, there’s no way it will be any less than
window shattering.

Sure,
that sounds like a good time, in theory… But, I have no doubt it will leave a
bad taste in my mouth.

Attempting
to shut off my brain, determined not to let myself get lost in wondering
exactly how he would taste in my mouth, I grab my notebook and head for the
den. Aiden and Gray are sitting on a long couch, centered in the room, arguing
over the remote control while Brannon plays at their feet with some big Tonka
trucks.

Camaron
is on the phone, scribbling in her planner while Daisy and Chase sit giggling
and whispering, their faces both partially hidden by a pale blue laptop screen.
“Isn’t a bit early still for you to be starting trouble?” I ask, taking a seat
on the couch across from them, next to Camaron.

“Not
starting trouble,” Chase sighs, her eyes peeking over the top of the laptop.
“Just curing the sudden flash of baby fever with some online retail. Rae and
Big man can’t name their baby after Supergirl and not expect us to trick her
out with everything we can find,” she sighs. “There’s just nothing like the
buzz of a new baby in the house…”

I
never quite understood what made women completely lose their shit over the tiny
socks and little blankets. As if those tiny little items that fill a section in
nearly every department store on the planet are spiked with something set to
evoke some crazy chemical imbalance in females making their ovaries start
ticking like time bombs.

Not
today, Satan.

Kids
are great, but the last thing I plan to do is carry on the family genetics by
popping out a couple living, breathing creatures that will rely on me for
everything. Chalk it up to my stellar upbringing if the possibility of fucking
up another human being because I couldn’t be there for them in all the ways
they need doesn’t excite me enough to rip off my panties and start picking out
names.

It
just adds to my theory of: just because you have functioning reproductive
parts, doesn’t necessarily mean you have what it takes to mold and shape the
next generation. There should be a screening for this shit.

“Brannon!”
Daisy yelps, jumping to her feet. “No.”

Turning
my head, I catch the toddler walking toward the toy box. His jeans undone, his
hand down the front of his diaper, and a big ass smile on his face.

“I
don’t know what to do with him. It’s like he’s found a new toy or something,”
Daisy says, sagging to the cushions, rolling her eyes in exasperation. “This
morning, when I went to get him from the crib, he was naked. I find my sweet
boy sprawled out on his back, one hand behind his head, the other on his--” She
closes her eyes, shaking her head. Chase and I giggle, unable to help ourselves
at the thought of this adorable boy getting caught fondling his bridge. “This
is not funny, you guys! He was grinning. Grinning! He’s not even three yet.
What the hell am I going to do when he hits puberty?”

“What
does Grayson say?” Chase asks, forcing herself to be serious.

“He
says it could be worse. Bran could be Hunter’s kid,” Gray interrupts, with a
laugh. Grabbing Brannon, once he is within reach again, he buttons and zips his
jeans back up before ruffling his shaggy black hair. “Poor kid would never take
his hand off his junk.”

“Right?”
I giggle, unable to help myself. “Could you imagine a little Hunter running
around? Cute little kid, full of shit, double fisting bacon while tryin’ to
peek up the girls’ skirts in preschool.”

“Shit,
the kid would terrorize every female member of the nursing staff before he ever
got latched to the tit,” Aiden teases, roaring with laughter. “Then, there’s
always the possibility of twins.”

“Twins?”
Chase gulps, her eyes widening as her face pales.

“Sure,”
he nods, thoughtfully. “Our bastard father was supposedly a twin or some shit.”

Chase
closes the computer screen, placing it on the coffee table between us. Tilting
her head to the side, she stares ahead. Her mouth opening, only to close back
again, reminding me of a fish. Do cases of baby fever often include awkwardly
staring off in space while occasionally mimicking a fish out of water?  I
wonder if it would be rude to Google possible symptoms of baby fever on my
phone while her brain explodes.

You
know, just in case it’s an epidemic.

“I
told you there’s a church,” Hunter says, walking into the room. “Everything’s
about bacon.” Holding his hand to his chest, his eyes drift shut as if trying
to control his emotions. “It’s a slice of Heaven, right here on Earth.”

“Slice!”
Aiden laughs, “I see what you did there.”

“Bacon
is not a religion,” Dominick argues. “Sure, it’s good, but I can think of a few
things I’d rather worship than some hacked up pig meat.” His eyes meet mine,
and he winks.

My
face heats, a blush spreading throughout my entire body. What in the hell is he
doing?

“The
only thing I firmly believe in giving praise to, with every inch of me, is my
woman,” Hunter says, thrusting his hips. “This is no less important.”

“You
realize, bro,” Aiden says, scratching his chin thoughtfully. “If a religious
organization believes something is sacred, they rarely eat it or harm it in any
way. So, if that church exists, the amount of bacon you eat could possibly make
you their version of the devil.”

“Oh,
Aiden,” Cam says beside me, ending her call. “Now you’ve done it.”

Diving
onto the couch between Chase and Daisy, Hunter grabs the laptop. Raising the
lid, he begins typing furiously, his eyes glued to the screen.

“Hail
bacon, full of grease?” I laugh, “May the lard be with you always, my brother.”

Hunter
looks up at me, his eyes completely serious. “And also with you.”

“If
we can focus on something serious for a minute, there’s a lot of things
changing between now and when we load the bus. I did actually have a reason for
all of us to get together before the day gets crazy,” Dominick says, sitting on
the arm of the couch beside Grayson. “With me unexpectedly taking on Henry’s
place on tour, I wanted to take a minute and make sure everyone is on the same
page. After talking things out with him, I’ve managed to get Jared back on
board, with some minor alterations to the way things work. I will head up all
the security issues on tour, but will also be the one in charge of Ireland,
instead of Jared. After talking to Henry about his concerns, I have also gotten
in touch with the label and have a driver for the bus. The last leg of the tour
will run smoothly. I don’t want to give Big Man any reason to worry while he is
takin’ care of things back here, so there will be as little change to the
regularly scheduled programing as possible.”

“You
got it, boss,” Hunter says, giving him a thumbs up. “Hey, Tiger Lily, would you
be open to renewing our vows in Vegas so that we can be eternally joined by the
marital bond of bacon?”

Chase’s
face regains its color with Hunter’s words. Her brows knit together and she
turns, glaring at him. “I’ll give new, very painful, meaning to the words hog
tie, Hunter.”

“Okay,”
he nods, meeting her eyes and wincing. Closing the lid on the computer, he
places it back on the table. “So I’ll probably wait to call your brother about
booking the church for us. That’s totally fine.”

“Well,”
Cam says, pushing to her feet. “If the meeting is over, I have some other calls
I need to make and some venues to confirm with. I’d like to get that done so
that we could head over to the hospital.”

Dominick
nods, standing as well. “Mike will be here by noon. I’ve asked him to help out
during the day until we leave. Whenever you’re ready to go, he’ll take you over
in the ‘Burban.” His eyes fall on me, warming as they do. “We have a discussion
to finish,” he says, sending a tingle up my spine.

Yeah,
I don’t think so.

“Sorry,
it’s girl talk time, Dominick.” Shaking my head, I open my notebook. “Besides,
I have some ideas I’d like to get down before I lose them.”

“Have
it your way, your Highness,” he says, giving me a little bow. His gaze narrows
on me when he straightens to his full height again, but he doesn’t argue. Grabbing
the side of the couch, he leaps onto the cushion beside me. “I could use some
time to catch up with my favorite women,” he says, getting comfortable. Leaning
back into the cushions, he extends an arm behind my head and props his sneaker
covered feet on the table.

Murder
is illegal, Ireland.

Crossing
one leg over the other, I force a smile. It’s not that I am enjoying being
defiant. Well, not completely anyway. I don’t trust myself alone with him.
Secondly, if Dominick Bradford thinks he, and his newly appointed power of
authority gives him the right to boss me around like some sort of puppy, he has
another thing coming.

“So,”
I say, awkwardly trying to find something to talk about. Girl talk isn’t
something that I do. I can bullshit with the best of them, but other than that,
I am clueless. I didn’t have many girl friends in high school. I found the
girls my age to be immature and vicious. Hell, some of those snarky little
bitches made you question if they were bordering on the edge of sanity. It is
like the second they hit puberty, girls are encouraged to stab any other girl
in the back at the first opportunity.

  Then
you have girls like me. I spent so much time wanting people to like me that I
was a target for people to use me and toss me away. And they have.

You’d
think I had a sign on my forehead or something…

Even
when I played bass guitar for Cuntpunting Cassandra, it was awkward. I didn’t
fit in and I knew it. I could see the train wreck coming ahead, and I held on,
watching the warning signs go off all around me. Still, I tried with everything
I had to make Cassie and the other girls like me. It ended with me doing all
the work, getting none of the credit, and hating them all because they tossed
me away like trash the moment the album was done.

I
have a serious catch-22 in my life.

“Ooo!”
Daisy exclaims, clapping her hands together. “Tell us how Mack was as a kid.”

“Yes!
He hears all the stories on us and we know nothing about him before he came on
to help Henry,” Chase adds. “You have to know some juicy stuff. Well, since you
guys grew up together, or whatever.”

“Or
whatever,” Dominick and I mumble in unison.

“I’m
sure you’ve noticed there was very little growing up on Dominick’s part,” I
blurt, my eyes widening when I realized I said that out loud.

“Ha!”
Chase laughs. “I like her. She’s spicy as hell.”

Crossing
his arms over his chest, Dominick huffs in frustration. With the ice now
broken, conversation comes easy. The girls are all too eager to tell me stories
from time on the road with the guys. Crazy shenanigans and wagers gone wrong. A
lot of them involving pranks pulled on either Hunter or Dominick.

“The
ladies loved him,” Daisy laughs, gasping for breath. “He was the Stud of the
Month on the website for four months running. There was even talk of a
calendar.”

I
bite my lip, trying not to laugh at the idea of him being chased by horny old
women on those motorized carts, but fail miserably. “Is there really a video of
him being attacked by crabs?” I ask, making him groan.

“Sick
motherfuckers,” he mutters, only making me laugh harder. “I can’t even look at
seafood without my stomach knotting up now.”

“Yes,”
Aiden whoops from behind me. “It’s on the Shaft YouTube channel.”

“How
have I not seen this?” I ask, grabbing my phone from my pocket. “I feel like my
life is lacking substance.”

“Nope.”
Dominick grabs the phone from my fingers and leaps from the couch. “Not
happening.”

“Give
me my phone, Dicknipples.” Easing around the coffee table, I take a step toward
him. “Quit being such a baby.”

He
looks around the room, frantically. For an escape route, or some kind of help,
I don’t know, but no one moves. Everyone is way too entertained watching this
craziness to do shit. Shoving it down the front of his pants, he grins. “How
dedicated are you to your cause, sweet cheeks?”