Promise Me Always (28 page)

“Um… Yeah… I’m fine.” She mumbled quietly, her body trembling slightly. I couldn’t believe I was actually talking to her. She didn’t want to face me and I was making her uncomfortable by being here. I could feel the tension in the air growing. I needed to get out of there before I gave in and begged her to take me back, even though I was positive there was no way she still loved me after what I had done to her. I just needed to let her know I was still here for her—no matter what.

“If you ever need anything, baby… uh, Tess… anything, I’m still here okay? I mean it. If Jared does anything again—I want you to tell me.” I took another step towards her and she started shaking even harder.

“It really isn’t a big deal. But thanks, Blake.” I could tell she was lying.

“I’m serious. I will kill him if does anything to you. Do you understand?” I asked, fighting my need to take her in my arms and hold her. “If I find out from anyone that he has been in contact with you, I will take matters into my own hands.” I could hear the anger in my own voice and decided to take a step back. I wasn’t upset with her, but just talking about Jared made me want to break his fucking neck.

“You ready to go, Tess?” Palmer asked as she came out of the house. Tess and I both jumped a little at her voice.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Tess looked up at me through her lashes as she spoke to Palmer. I didn’t want her to leave. I needed her with me. I knew I could protect her if she was with me, but there wasn’t much I could do once she left. I had to make myself clear to her that I meant what I said.

“I’m not kidding, Tess. I’m still here and I always will be,” I said before she could turn around. It took all I had not to break down. I didn’t feel whole without her. This week had been the hardest week of my life and I was beginning to think that maybe I was being fucking stupid.

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and gave me a small, shy smile. The sparkle in her eyes returned for just an instant as she gazed at me. She looked at me as though the past week had never happened. She was my Tess again, even if it was for just a second. I could have stayed in that moment for the rest of my life, but I knew that was impossible. I left her and it was my choice. All I could do was smile at her, to let her know I meant what I said.

She turned around when Palmer yelled for her to come on, but after a couple steps, she spun back around again, her eyes meeting mine. A single tear escaped from the corner of her eye, sparkling in the sunlight as it ran down her face. With a low, soft voice, she whispered, “Promise me?”

My heart skipped a beat at the question. My heart soared, realizing that she did love me.

I swallowed down the lump that had formed in my throat so I could answer with the only thing I would ever say when she asked me that question—“Always.”

The rest of night was torture—all I could think about was Tess. I couldn’t take it anymore when a drunk as fuck Shane started to divulge the “Jared and Tess story” for a third time. I stood, bumping Shane’s head with my elbow, completely by accident, may I add, and headed outside.

I saw Davis and Morgan chatting away with a group of people on the corner of the patio. I didn’t recognize any of them, so kept my distance and leaned against the side of the house, sipping on my beer. When Davis nodded at me the petite, blonde haired woman standing in front of him turned around slowly.

Holy Shit! Is that…?

I had to close my eyes for a minute, shaking my head trying to clear away the vision I knew I was imagining. When I opened them again the woman, whom I could have sworn was a figment of my imagination, was walking towards me. It was Kristi Andrews—my first and only girlfriend. The bitch that broke my heart back in high school.

I hadn’t spoken to her in over four years. Right after junior year, the year she fucked me over, her family moved and she had to transfer to a different school. I was really relieved when she did. It was getting harder to avoid seeing her on a daily basis and, every time I did, all the memories of her and I would come rushing back to me. The torment I experienced back then was nothing like the agony I was going through now though. I would gladly feel the pain Kristi inflicted on me over and over again than feel the slightest sliver of the way I felt this week.

I couldn’t believe she was there. She looked exactly the same as the last time I saw her. Her short blonde hair framed her face and her emerald eyes were the same color as the gem, and, oddly enough, her favorite color, too.

She did, however, look a tad slutty in her short jean skirt and low cut red tank top. And, to top her whorish look, she had on a ridiculously high pair of red heels. This was a bar-b-que after all,
what the fuck was she doing in shoes like that?

She approached me slowly, looking me over with a thirst in her eyes. I just stared at her, dumbfounded, as she came closer. She stopped in front of me, leaving only a small space between the two of us. It took me a minute to realize just how close she was, but when the smell of lavender surrounded me, I snapped out of my reverie.

“Blake Bentley! Long time, no see,” she said as she took a sip of the pink liquid that was in her cup. I couldn’t help but notice how fruity it smelled. She was always the prissy type and it didn’t surprise me that she was sipping the sweet smelling concoction with a straw. I wondered if there is even any liquor in it.

“Kristi,” I simply said as I looked away from her. Maybe if I ignored her, she would get the point and leave me alone.

“That’s all you’re going to say to me after what you did to me in high school?” she asked. I snapped my head back at her, brows creased, staring at her like she had two fucking heads.

“What I did to you? Have you lost your fucking mind?” I asked in disbelief. “You broke up with me for no goddamn reason. So yes, that is all I have to say to you.” I pushed passed her and started making my way back inside. I needed to get the fuck out of here.

“I broke up with you because you cheated on me, you ass! Apparently, you’re the same arrogant prick that you were in high school!” she yelled at me.

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around, starring daggers at her. I had never once cheated on any girl in my life. I would never stoop to that level—ever. If I was that unhappy in a relationship, that I needed to get my dick wet somewhere else, I would end it before I ventured out. I stomped back over to where she was standing, the look on her face telling me that she was feeling uneasy.

“I never cheated on you, Kristi. I’ve never cheated on anyone in my life!” I said, appalled. “My morals are higher than that. Maybe if you would have just come out and asked me, we would still be together. Instead, you slapped my fucking face and told me to fuck off. I tried coming after you but you refused to see me. So, who’s the ass now?” I snapped at her through gritted teeth. I could tell she was a little taken aback by my statement. She was looking everywhere except at me, her cheeks becoming the color of her drink. She didn’t say a word for the longest time and all I could do was glare at her.

“I’m sorry, Blake, really. I didn’t know. You’re right, I should’ve asked you instead of jumping to conclusions,” she admitted. “But we were seventeen and I didn’t know any better.” She finally looked up at me as she continued, “We were so happy and I completely ruined everything. I wanted to ask you, but Christina kept telling me that you would deny it.”

“Wait… Christina who?” I questioned her. I had a sick feeling I knew which Christina we were talking about, but I wanted to make sure.

“Christina Summers—she told me about you two a couple days after we got back from Florida. She said that the two of you had been together the whole time I was gone and that you both swore to take it to your graves. That’s why she said that you would deny it even if I asked you about it.”

That bitch!
She was ruining my life even back then! That girl had a world full of issues that she needed to figure out and, more than likely, they were daddy issues.

“I can honestly say that I never touched that whore in high school,” I stated, plopping down into one of the lawn chairs. Kristi sat slowly, sinking down into the chair next to me.

“I should have known better than to believe her. When she told me, she had just come out of my older brother’s bedroom, adjusting her skirt. I always knew she was a fucking slut.” We both started to laugh because that sounded exactly like Christina.

Kristi and I continued to talk through everything that had happened all those years ago. As the evening progressed and the party goers got louder, we continued to talk about our lives—both past and present, on the tailgate of Devin’s truck. I told her about Tess and how much I loved her and how I didn’t think I was good enough for her. She informed me that I was crazy for thinking like that and I deserved to be just as happy as the next person.

She told me about the abusive relationship she got into her senior year and how she barely escaped his rage the night he went to prison. She also told me about her current boyfriend, who was away on a business trip this week, and how they were moving in together after he got back. I was surprised by that one, with the way she approached me earlier, but she was still hurt and I kind of understood why she did what she did. She was trying to make me see what I missed out on.

Out of all the places I could have ended up that night, I was surprisingly content lying in the back of Devin’s truck, looking up at the stars while talking to Kristi. Never in a million years would I have ever thought that I would ever see her again, let alone have these conversations, but it was a breath of fresh air—it was like I was talking to the sister I never had.

She asked me about Devin and how he was handling everything going on in his life. Besides Tess, she was the only other person I had ever told about our childhood. She knew the darkest secrets of our past, even things I never told Tess. She always had a deep understanding for what happened to us and it was easy to talk to her about it. It made me think of Tess, though, and how much I wished I would have revealed more to her about what happened to me as a child. I think, in some ways, it would have bound me to her even more and I wanted to be tied to her in every way possible.

“Tess, seriously. Snap out of it, doll, and let’s go do a shot!” I heard Lexi yell over the music as she nodded her head towards the fully packed bar. I smiled at her and stood, following her across the crowded room as the base thumped loudly in my ears.

The girls and I were living it up at Club Vanity, a very popular night club in Larimer Square in the heart of downtown Denver. I tried to plaster on my best ‘having the time of my life’ smile, but, every now and then, I would slip and my mind would start to wander back to Blake.

I had seen a glimmer of hope that weekend at Shane’s house after our short, but emotionally draining conversation. But every day that had gone by this month, my hopes diminished more and more when I didn’t hear from him.

I tried my hardest to get back to normal life, but as time went on, I noticed that life just wasn’t going to be normal unless I was with Blake. He was my soul mate and I felt empty and alone without him. It didn’t help any that I had chosen to take off so much time after graduating. It seemed like a great idea after working my ass off for two years. But after Blake sent my world into a tail spin, the idea seemed stupid. I had absolutely nothing to take my mind off the situation at hand, except running. My days were full of tears, working out, and more tears. I didn’t even have crazy ass Jared following me around anymore.

I had gone to the police station after the last incident to fill out a report. Palmer wasn’t going to leave me alone until I did and I was sick of her bugging me about it. I filed for a restraining order but, unfortunately, no one could even find Jared to serve him with the papers. He had been missing since the day he followed me to Shane’s house and that had been over a month ago.

Every once in a while, I would meet one of the girls for lunch or dinner. On those days, I would actually shower, put on my make up, and plaster on my fake smile, never once alluding to just how depressed I actually was.