Private Dicks (7 page)

"Maybe they didn't know," Nathan says, a nasty edge to his tone. "Dorian coming along was a last-minute change, remember? Maybe they wanted someone else."

They fall into bickering, fueled by the fact that most everyone's in their half-form and therefore more volatile, and I toy with the idea of telling them my suspicions. But no, I'd have to tell them everything, and I can't do that. I can't betray Ryan again. I stare at the carpet, acutely aware of the gradually shifting atmosphere of the room from grim, but controlled to something anxious and fearful. Enforcers aren't the most stable bunch around, and there's a reason why we're not usually involved in decision-making meetings.

"You can't say we're not being herded!"

I jerk my head up and frown at Desmond. "What do you mean?" I ask, cutting clear across the other arguments, and the others fall silent.

"I mean we're stuck, and it can't be an accident," he snarls. "We could find out what's going on if we went to the Syndicate, but we can't do that because none of our allies can, and we'd be outnumbered. If we don't say anything, though, then we're still screwed cuz something's going on, and we don't know what! We can't move either way, and it's gonna bite us in the ass."

There's a dead stillness in the room, a shocked sort of silence as what he said sinks in. He's right, he's absolutely right.

"Shit." Donovan presses his hands to his eyes and stress and anger flow through the pack bond loud and clear. I cross my arms and lean back against the wall more firmly, resisting the urge to cross the room. It's not my place, not my right.

"We're fucked," Mika says softly, and the fear and confusion and anger jangle through the air, turning the warm scent of the room acrid and sour. "We need to figure out how to split the pack, send people to our allies to keep them safe until we figure out what to do."

Immediately, the others start protesting, yelling at Mika and each other as the tension snaps, exploding in a torrent of pent-up energy and denial, the almost fanatic desire to save face. I bite back the urge to join in the argument—I'm all too familiar with the need to never appear weak, to always show a strong front even when it's a lie. Most especially when it's a lie.

I close my eyes. In another few minutes, someone's gonna snap and shift fully, and this whole room's gonna turn into one huge brawl with the best fighters in the pack. I can't do anything here, can't risk my cover. But … I could take a look. I could get a message to the dragon, ask for what I need. I could find out if I'm right. Not defy Ryan, no, but … I could check, that's all. Just to be thorough.

I open my eyes and see Donovan, unmoved except that now he's pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyes squeezed shut, and I realize just how angry and stressed he must be not to bring his enforcers to heel. The enforcers respect him too much to allow this incident to hurt his dominance, but if he doesn't do something, it's just gonna put everyone more on edge. No one likes to know that their alpha doesn't know what to do.

I'm across the room before I make the conscious decision to move, and Donovan doesn't open his eyes when he reaches out and tugs me closer to him. I go easily and wrap my arms around his waist, bowing my head so he can bury his face in my neck and take a deep breath. I nuzzle against his shoulder and let out a long, shaky breath as the anxiety in the bond alleviates. I was always so used to Ryan telegraphing anger and disappointment at me, I never realized that other emotions could be sent, too, or how much of an effect they have.

I pretty much melt against Donovan, for once too relieved to be embarrassed at the physical contact. This is better than all the other emotions flying about, and Donovan smells much nicer without the undercurrent of anger and desperation riding along his scent.

I ignore the part of me that's pointing out that this sort of thing isn't my right, isn't something I should be doing. I'm not Donovan's spouse, I don't have the right to calm him down or soothe him. But he doesn't seem angry, and it's working. It's not like I'm going to be making a habit of this sort of behavior.

I also ignore the part of me that very much so
wants
to make this a habit.

"Alright, what we're going to do is start drawing up plans like Mika said." Donovan sounds more level now, and I realize that the arguing has stopped. I try to move away, to straighten, but Donovan doesn't so much as let me lift my head. "We're going to talk to our allies and see if we can't discover some kidnappings they hadn't felt like sharing with us, and if not, if we can arrange some. We've seen how they work—I'm sure we can replicate the situation. If that works, and we can make it so we won't be so outnumbered, then we'll go to the Syndicate."

"And if not?" Dorian drawls out.

"Then I'm sure we can find a wolf we can talk to." There's an edge to Donovan's voice I haven't heard before, something that reminds me a little of Ryan when he's getting ready to hurt someone, or when he was ordering me to kill that wolf, and I kept refusing. Danger, I guess it is. Donovan's ready to kill to protect his pack.

"Sounds like a plan," Dorian says. I tilt my head a little against Donovan's shoulder so I can see him, still lounging in his chair like he hasn't a care. He sees me looking at him and smirks. "Mika, you've handled these kinds of things before. Get everyone organized and kitted out and talk to who you need to so you can get things rolling."

"In the meantime, there's a rogue that needs killing," Mika says tiredly.

"I'll go." I push against Donovan's stomach and squirm until he lets me straighten, though he doesn't let me go. I half-turn so I can see my handler. "I'll take care of the rogue."

He frowns. "I'd prefer you stay close, Reese."

I glare at him. "Why? I can take care of it."

"That's not the problem, pup, I just—"

Donovan makes a small sound, and I look at him, then at my handler. They aren't telling me something, but neither of them looks ready to volunteer the information, and I'm not exactly going to question my alpha in front of everyone.

"I want to go," I say, firmer. "It's the one on the northern sector, right? It's easy, I can take him and be back later."

Mika appears to be gritting his teeth before he nods sharply. "Van can give you the dossier."

"I'd rather someone else go," Donovan says quietly as everyone else files out, much more relaxed now that we have orders.

"Why?" I ask sharply.

He smiles. "I'm not going to tell you." He pulls me closer again, his fingers petting over the small of my back, a little above the base of my tail. "You have to guess."

"Why?" I ask again, trying to repress a shiver.

He laughs. "Because I want you to, pup. It's more fun if you guess." He laughs again at my disgruntled expression and nuzzles against my shoulder. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't poke fun. But I like that you're comfortable enough to snap and glare at me like that."

"You deserve it," I grumble, hitting his shoulder with the heel of my palm. He grabs my wrist and sniffs at my palm, a bright smile on his face.

"Maybe," he concedes. He surges up and nips at my ear, and I yelp and shove him away. He catches my wrist before I go too far and reels me back in, making low coaxing noises until I'm back where I started.

I let myself enjoy the contact for a little while before making myself deal with reality. Because I want to be thorough.

"Donovan?"

"Mm?"

"Can I have access to the enrollment database?" I trace my fingers over the backs of his shoulders. "There's … something I want to check."

He nips at my ear again, sharper than before, and I duck my head at the clear admonishment. But I don't explain further or relent, and he sighs after a minute. "As if I would tell you no, pup. Of course you can."

"Thank you." I rub my cheek against his shoulder. I'm sure it won't take the dragon long to get the information I need. I can check the database tomorrow and then … figure out what I'm going to do. Because honestly, it's probably time that I admitted that my loyalties aren't as absolute as I would like to think they are. It's hard to be loyal to an alpha you can't feel anymore. I've heard stories of wolves going undercover for years—I could never last that long. I've barely lasted six months as it is.

Donovan makes a low growling noise, and I wince. Way to cuddle up to the alpha and practically announce your guilt and conflict.

"Pup, I know I said I wouldn't pressure you to confide in me or anything, but you're not exactly making this easy." His hands tighten on my hips, and I lean up to bite his ear gently.

"Sorry," I say quietly.

He snorts. "That sounded sincere."

I press my cheek to his. "I am sorry. I … why are you putting up with this?" There's no use pretending that he doesn't at least suspect, and taking the meeting into account …

"I'm not going to tell you," he says softly. "You're a very good enforcer and a decent lone wolf. But you're an awful pack wolf, and it shows."

"I don't understand."

"Your alpha didn't have a spouse, did he?" he asks. He leans back a little so he can see my face, and I frown.

"No," I admit after a tense moment of eye contact before I concede. "How did you know?"

He smiles. "I'm incredibly intelligent, in case you forgot."

I glare at his shoulder. "I didn't. But how did you know?"

He yanks on my ears, and I snarl at him, shoving hard, but I'm trapped between his legs, and he's laughing. "I'm not going to tell you."

"Let go of my ears!" I push at his face, but he keeps laughing, tugging, but not painfully though I know I'm going to lose a few hanks of fur, and I grab his ears and pull. He's completely unperturbed, laughing like a fool, even as I try to twist and squirm out of his grasp. "Lemme go!" I wail when I end up bent backwards and to the left, my side protesting something fierce.

There's a distinct throat-clearing somewhere behind me, and I can almost see whoever's standing near the door. Two whoever's, actually, and Donovan releases my ears and spins me around, pressing my back to his chest, his arms wrapped around my waist again.

I get a good look at the person Lee's escorting, and my stomach drops out into the ground. Ian, Ryan's personal bodyguard, is standing behind Lee, and he's looking right at me with barely-disguised contempt and loathing.

Oh God. How much did they see? But it doesn't matter, it's enough. Just the sight of me playing with the Deepine alpha …

"Who are you and what do you want?" Donovan asks, his tone something less than warm. His tightens his arms around me, and strokes his thumb over my hip. Ian's pointed glance says that he sees the little gesture, and that he's going to take great pleasure reporting it to Ryan. Oh God, why is he here?

"I have a message from my alpha, Ryan Silverlight," Ian says.

"Get on with it," Donovan says, sounding perfectly bored and not at all like he doesn't suspect Silverlight of having something to do with the current situation.

"This is a matter of some sensitivity. I understand you wish for your mate to be present, but the law dictates I can request he leave," Ian says, perfectly polite, if a bit frosty, and I feel my face flame.

Mate? What? Why would he think that? What would make him think I'm Donovan's—

"I have no need to entertain you at all," Donovan says, his tone freezing. "You will respect my wishes concerning whomever I choose to be here, spouse or not."

I half-turn, and Donovan looks down at me, one eyebrow raised, as if daring me to comment. "I need to get started on that rogue," I say. "I should go anyway."

His mouth sets in a fine line, but he nods and reaches behind him. He lets me go and hands me the dossier. I stare at the folder, then back at him. I feel like I need to say something, but I don't know what, or why I'm hesitating, and Ian's probably ready to bust a blood vessel, but what am I supposed to—

"Be careful." Donovan ruffles a hand through my hair, and then I can breathe again. I smile and walk away, determinedly not looking at Ian even though there's a tension strumming through him that he always gets when he's getting ready to kick my ass.

The hall's quiet, and Lee gives me an inscrutable look from where he's lounging against the wall by the door. I start to walk off, then hesitate. "Lee?"

"What's up, Reese?"

"Watch that guy," I murmur. "He's dangerous."

"Sure thing." Lee's mastered that tone of voice that conveys absolute carelessness despite the fact that one of his knives is naked in his hand, and he looks half-ready to kill something. I smile as I walk away. Lee may not be Donovan's bodyguard, but he'll do a hell of a job protecting our alpha, I know.

*~*~*

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Reese?"

I finally stop smashing in windows over the dead rogue's body and turn to face the dragon. He's standing in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest and customary smirk on his face, the very picture of nonchalance.

"I need something from you," I say, dropping my crowbar. "Tonight."

He tilts his head to the side, green cast over his eyes, and his nose flares for a second. He nods. "Come on, then, let's get you out of the cold."

*~*~*

It's funny, I think as I lay half-drowned on cold concrete, that I was expecting a tiny bit of mercy from Ryan. Nothing big. After all, it's not like Ian walked in on me fucking Donovan.

A hard kick flips me onto my back, and I stare up at the sky, all weeping and raining down tears on my face. Actually, it might've been better if that had happened. I could play off something like that, say I was just trying to get into his good graces. But playing with Donovan, pulling on his ears like that … That, Ryan won't forgive, I know.

More kicks, Ryan screaming something at me … I cough up something hot and wet and wince, spit it out. Someone drags me to my feet, and I stare at Ryan's hazy form through the rain. He grabs my chin hard enough to bruise, his eyes backlit, and for just a second, I think he's going to kill me.

"You will go back to that filthy pack's den," he says, enunciating each word clearly. "You will do as I told you to do six months ago. You will report them to the Syndicate, and you will come back home so that you may be properly punished. Do you hear me?"