Perception (17 page)

There was a moment of
awkward silence. Then Noah pulled open his bag. “Here, I have something for
you. It might make you feel a little better.”

I looked at him
quizzically. When he produced a selection of sweets, I smiled.

He held them out like
a candy bar fan. “I’ve heard chocolate cures a multitude of ailments.”

I laughed a little. “You
know more about girls than you let on, Noah Brody.”

I chose milk
chocolate with nuts and opened the wrapper. After taking a bite, I offered it
to him.

Noah took a bite and
shared the silence. I longed to reach over and stroke his bronze skin, angry at
how life had thrown me this curve ball and uncertain about what to do. A tear
sprouted from my eye and trailed down my face. Noah reached up and wiped it
carefully with his finger.

“The sunset too much
for you?” he joked. “I know you’re used to the wide screen version.”

I looked away. “I’m a
GAP and a clone. Am I even human?”

“You’re crying. You
have emotions.”

“But do I have a
soul?”

“I thought you didn’t
care about that.”

I turned to him. “I
guess I do.”

“Yes, I believe you
have a soul.”

It meant so much to
hear him say it. Never in my life had I doubted myself, my reason for being, my
right to exist. Now everything was in question.

I let out a long,
slow breath before taking another small bite of the candy bar.

“We still need to get
to the bottom of Liam’s death,” I said. “I know it won’t bring him back, won’t
change who, or what, I am, but I need to know the truth.”

“We’ll need Liam’s
chip,” Noah said.

“Jackson might know
where it is.”

His eyes darted
away.“The boyfriend?”

“The ex-boyfriend.”

His eyebrows jumped a
little at that. It seemed he was happy to hear it.

“I’ll go see him,” I
said.

“I want to go with
you.”

“It’s okay, really.
I’m fine to see Jackson by myself.”

“I know you’re fine,
but I’m not fine. I’d feel better if you didn’t go alone. You can talk to him
by yourself if you want. I’ll wait outside.”

I smiled tenderly. “You’re
worried about me?”

Noah shrugged. “Nah.
Just curious.”

We nibbled on the
candy bars in a comfortable silence, taking in the fiery red glow on the
horizon.

“I want to go now,
get it over with,” I said.

“Go where?”

“To see Jackson.” I
tapped my ring, and pressed an icon on the mirage in my palm. “Yes, this is Zoe
Vanderveen calling on behalf of my mother, Alison Vanderveen. We need more help
cleaning up after the memorial. Please authorize Noah Brody.”

I tapped my ring
again and looked at Noah.

“I thought you
couldn’t authorize me?”

“That only applies
after 9 p.m.”

“Okay, then,” Noah
said, lifting the hatch. “Let’s go.”

Chapter 20

I stood by my pod,
waiting the ten minutes we’d agreed upon for Noah to join me. We didn’t want
surveillance to pick us up going into Sol City together.

I waved Noah over
when I spotted him in the car park.

“I just got a message
from Jackson,” I said as he got in. “He left the memorial. He’s at the lab.” I
spoke the destination into the pod console.

“I’ve never been in a
personal pod before,” Noah said as he strapped in. “Kind of cozy.”

“I’d watch it if I
were you. It’s easy to get used to private transportation.”

The twenty minutes to
the university lab were both awkward and comforting. Sol City in the evening
was beautiful. It was a masterpiece of green design, and the modern
architecture glowed with environmentally friendly lighting.

“I’ve never been
anywhere but your place in Sol City,” Noah said, taking it all in. “Not a piece
of trash in sight.”

“Yeah, well, it’s
home.”

But my home was not
his home, and it was something we both needed to remember.

“Is it okay if I ask
you a question?” he said. “About cloning?”

I flinched. He’d said
he didn’t care, but I knew he did. He had to. Reluctantly I agreed.

“I don’t know a lot
about the procedure, but I thought a modified egg had to grow
in utero,
and
go through the whole nine-month gestation process again.”

“That used to be
true. But now, with advanced bio-genetic technology, they can speed the process
up. What used to take nine months in a biological womb can now be accelerated
in an artificial womb. The technology’s been around for a while, but it’s still
illegal to perform on humans. Not to mention immensely expensive. Helps to have
an extremely rich grandfather.”

“I know it’s a shock,
but you must be relieved. You wouldn’t be alive if your grandfather hadn’t done
this for you.”

“I should be
grateful, I guess. But it’s hard to wrap my head around it. Who was that first girl?
Was she me? Was she my sister?”

Was the fact I was a
clone the reason I’d never bonded with Alison? Was it why my mother seemed so
disappointed in me? Did I not have the same personality as the first child?

By the time we
arrived at the university grounds, I thought my head would explode with all my
questions. Questions I didn’t expect Noah to answer, and I was grateful he
didn’t try.

“Nice place,” he said
as I led the way across campus.

“Well, you know, only
the best for us GAPs.”

I tried to imagine
what it was like to see the familiar campus through Noah’s eyes. Every building
was unique in architectural design. There wasn’t a speck of litter, and the
entire place buzzed with only beautiful people.

A year down the road,
I’d be a student here. This was something I’d anticipated my whole life. No
other option or desire had ever arisen.

Now, I didn’t know
what I wanted. Could I come here knowing what I knew about the corruption at Sol
City University? Or at least knowing what I
thought
I knew?

Last week it was
impossible not to picture myself fitting in here. I shook my head, my thoughts
and feelings were a tangle of confusion.

If I didn’t fit in here,
where did I fit? On the outside? No, I’d never be one of them.

So where? I pushed
back at the knot that formed in my gut, the small voice that told me I didn’t
belong anywhere
.

We entered the glass
and metal doors of the building marked Technology. I strode down the
white-walled hall, fighting the creeping anxiety that grabbed my stomach. If
Noah noticed my apprehension, he didn’t show it. I paused when we reached the
lab. He stared at me with concern, and I felt myself smile a little. I
whispered, “You’ll wait here?”

“Yeah,” he answered,
not breaking my gaze. “But leave the door open a few inches.”

I felt a tiny sprout
of happiness. It was nice to have someone on my team, someone who knew the
truth and wanted to protect me without lying.

I poked my head in
the lab. Jackson was there, lab coat on, pressing his face into a microscope. I
cleared my throat when I entered.

Jackson stood there looking
at me like a lost boy. “Are you reconsidering?”

No hello, no how are
you doing?

“Reconsidering what?”
I asked.

“Us? Isn’t that why
you’re here?”

 “No. I came for
Liam’s chip.”

“What?”

“Liam’s chip. The
reason the authorities couldn’t track him down. Someone removed it. I’m
guessing it was you.”

Jackson raked a hand
through his shaggy hair. “Zoe, please don’t. You’re getting in too deep.”

“Too deep in what?”

He shook his head in
warning. “You have no idea what’s been going on.”

“I didn’t, but I do
now. No thanks to you. So did you remove it before or after Liam died?”

“Before. Oh, god,
Zoe. It wasn’t my idea. Liam insisted.”

“Why?”

“Because of the
experiment.”

“So, it’s true? You
were experimenting on him?”

“Yes, no,” he waved
his arms around like the wings of a flustered bird. “I can’t tell you.”

“Fine. I’ll find out
myself. Just give me the chip.”

Jackson’s eyes
drifted to a drawer across the room. I knew he wouldn’t give away the location
of the chip so easily. Not normally, but he
was
tired and stressed.

I ran to the drawer,
but he stepped in after me. “No!” He put his arms around me, pulling me away. I
felt my feet lift off the floor as he wrestled me away.

“Let me go!”

“You have to leave
now,” he said.

I fought back,
wrestling to get free.

The room twirled as I
was suddenly dropped, and with my balance thrown, I fell to the stainless steel
floor.

I turned back in time
to see Noah right-hooking him in the jaw.

“Noah!”

Jackson crumbled to
the floor, out cold.

I crawled to his side.
“Jackson?” I pushed his shoulder and a low moan escaped his lips.

I glanced up at Noah.
“You’re making a habit of this.”

Noah rubbed his
knuckles. “Might be a new hobby.”

“Is he going to be
okay?”

“He’ll be fine. Let’s
just get the chip and go.”

My gaze darted up to
the ceiling where I knew the surveillance camera was installed. “You need to
stand there,” I pointed to a spot in front of me. “To block the camera.”

I pulled on the
drawer, but it didn’t budge. “It’s locked.” Then I noticed a digital
combination that locked both the drawer and the cupboard underneath it. “I
don’t know the combination.”

“Did Jackson program
it?

“Probably.”

“Try his birthday.”

“Jackson wouldn’t use
his own birthday.”

“Then try yours.”

I hesitated then
punched in my numbers. Nothing. I tried them backwards. “Nope. Turns out I’m
not his inspiration.”

“What about Liam?”

I tried his birthday
digits. Nothing.

“This is useless. It
could be anything, and I’m sure Jackson changes it regularly.”

“What about the day
Liam died?” Noah suggested.

I entered those
numbers and was rewarded with a
click.
The drawer contained a selection
of items that must’ve had some importance to Jackson, but the only thing I was
interested in was the tiny, pill-shaped chip sealed in a small zip-locked bag. We’d
done it. We had the chip.

 I slipped it into my
pocket and I stepped toward Noah, kissing him lightly on the cheek. He’d fought
Jackson for me. He’d helped me when no one else would.

“Thank you,” I said.

I stepped back shyly,
wondering if kissing him was okay or had I’d crossed an invisible line. He
grabbed my arm and pulled me close, his lips landing on mine.

Apparently, it was more
than okay.

I kissed him back,
surprised by my eagerness. His lips were soft and warm but his kisses were
urgent. I wrapped my arms around his neck and grabbed onto his hair. He held my
waist pulling me tight, body to body. If I’d questioned my humanity before, I
didn’t any more. The way I felt about Noah was very human.

When he released me,
his eyes held mine with such intensity, every nerve in my body ignited. I knew
he felt the way I did.

It was wild and
crazy.

And probably a really
big mistake.

He took my hand. “We
should go.”

But the door to the
lab opened before we could leave. Mitchell Redding stood there and behind him
were two officers, including one I recognized. Officer Grant.

Grant stepped forward
with a pair of hand cuffs in view.

“Noah Brody, you’re
under arrest.”

Chapter 21

Grandpa Vanderveen
joined us for breakfast the next day, his smug sense of self-importance
commanding the room. I’d tried to excuse myself from what was sure to be an
unpleasant experience, but Alison would have none of it.

“We are family. We
can spend one meal together before your grandfather leaves.”

“You’re leaving so
soon?” I said, feigning disappointment. Grandpa V sat in Liam’s spot across the
table from me.

“Dad’s a busy man,” Paul
said brusquely.

“Lots of lives to
control and laws to break,” I added.