Past Heaven (35 page)

“Yeah, are you okay? You cried and I need to know if you’re all right.” He pulled my face up to his.

I sighed and kissed his lips. “Tears of happiness, Reyn,” I paused, allowing myself to absorb that I had cried tears that were not from grief, for the first time in over a year. “That was…That was unbelievable. I mean,
holy shit
. I have no words. Almost. Except, I keep babbling. Am I in shock?” I laughed, and rolled onto my back, covering my face with my hands.

He pulled my hands from my face and kissed my lips tenderly. Then, he moved down my body kissing a path toward my stomach. “What’s this scar from?” His fingers were tracing a scar right above my pubic bone.

“Yeah, you probably haven’t seen a caesarean section scar before. Most 20-year old models don’t have one of these, huh?” I tried to sound light, but I was nervous. Seeing my scar when we made love for the first time had worried me.

Reynolds leaned down and ran his tongue lightly over the scar. He studied it and kissed it again as I whispered his name. Then he kissed my breasts, reverently. “Life giving. Your body has carried and birthed three babies. You’re strong and beautiful, and I love every inch of you.” He brought his mouth to mine, kissing me deeply and groaning, the sound vibrating in the back of his throat.

“When can we do it again?” I asked, my lips still pressed against his, refusing to pull away. I brought my hand further down his body and was very pleased to feel we would be making love again soon.

Reynolds growled and lifted me onto his waist. “Right now.” My eyes fluttered as his lips nipped along my neck. A tiny shiver coursed through my body, and I let myself go.

I had never been ordered around during sex and damn if I didn’t love that. I needed that. No room was left for my inadequacies, insecurities, or doubts. I had no way to control my environment. I listened to the man I loved and did what he asked. For the first time in a long time, I lived in the moment.

I lifted my hips as he entered me slowly. The position caused a whole new feeling to flood through me as my body ignited. “Oh, shit! Oh, yes!” I placed my hands on his chest and threw my head back as I moved over Reynolds. His fingers dug into my hips as he directed me forward and back, lifting me onto him over and over in a ferocious rhythm. His strength and control were unrivaled. I watched his face, steeled with self-control, begin to contort from the pleasure. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead, and he groaned loudly. Before I knew what was happening, my vision blurred and another orgasm ripped through me, my scream filling the room.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Reynold grunted as he came, his six-pack bunched from his exertion.

I just had four orgasms in less than two hours.
Holy crap
.

Breathing heavily, we laid side by side, fingers laced together. Reynolds turned onto his side to face me. I had to say the words again. I wasn’t sure I’d ever say them enough to him. “I love you. With every single part of me, I love you.”

I HEARD KNOCKING on my front door and slipped on a pair of jeans. Maria was off today, dammit. I hated to leave Liz wrapped in my sheets, naked in my bed. Her soft, warm body was the only thing I wanted to focus on all morning long. I couldn’t help it. Liz was everything I had ever wanted, and I wanted her over and over again.

“Reynolds, good morning.” Bradley Goldman looked me up and down, and I realized I should have grabbed a shirt. “I hope I’m not disturbing you. I wanted to drop off the revised contracts.”

“Come in. Don’t you have minions to drop off papers like these? I thought you were past doing house calls.” I grinned at him, but he remained serious.

“I also wanted to talk to you about Ms. Atwater.” Bradley began and then stopped as Liz walked out of my bedroom, wearing the same dress she had worn yesterday. With disheveled hair, and bare feet, she looked fucking enticing.

“Hello, Mr. Goldman” Liz walked over to me, and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.

“Hello, Ms. Atwater. I hope you’re okay after our meeting yesterday.” He then cleared his throat and looked around with obvious discomfort. “I heard that you and Reynolds were kissing in our office hallway.”

Liz looked up at me with worry, while I stared at Bradley. “What’s the problem, Brad? Liz and I have started a relationship. We’re adults, and we can do what we want.”

Bradley shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You cannot see each other, Reynolds. You two can’t have any relationship at all until after the movie is released. Check the contracts you both signed. It’s in there. In certain cases, relationships can jeopardize the success of the movie. This is one of those cases. We need audiences to love Liz and feel for her. That will not happen if they think she has already forgotten about her husband and quickly moved on with a big hot shot movie star.”

Liz stiffened, and she brought her hand to her neck.

“She’s grieved for her husband for over a year and continues to do so. She’s still in pain and that pain will never end. We became great friends working on this project together, and I’ve fallen in love with her.” I rubbed her back, anxious for her to not feel guilty or alone.

“Stick with the friendship, Reynolds.” He removed his glasses and used the edge of his shirt to wipe them. “I’m damn serious here. We’re not investing this kind of cash in a project only to have you two fuck it up with a sensationalized relationship. Let me know if you change your minds about working with our company.” Bradley put his glasses back on, turned, and left the house.

My shoulders hunched, and my head drooped. I tried to swallow, but my throat was dry. “Liz?”

“WELL, THIS WAS fun.” I laughed awkwardly, rubbing my hands along my arms as I walked into the family room. I was at a loss for words.

“
Christ
, Liz. What the hell do we do?” Reynolds paced in front of me, dragging his hands through his hair.

I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his chest. “We do the right thing. We finish what we started.” I gave him a bitter smile. Pulling back to watch him, I ran my hands up and down the curves of his chest. “The project comes first. We finish what we started. Then, there will be time for us.”

“I can’t leave you again. Not after last night.” Reynolds moved out of my arms and sat on the couch, resting his head in his hands. “I’ve never made love like that before. We can’t just stop.”

A noise escaped from my throat before I could stop it. “It won’t be forever, Reyn. It won’t.” I walked over and sat next to him. “Look, I’d have to leave anyway. You’ll be here helping with the casting, and you’ll be on set filming. We would be apart a lot in the coming months. It is what it is. We can’t abandon this now. It’s too important to too many people. I need us to finish this for Jack, for me…for us.” My eyes watered, but my focus was determined.

With a heavy sigh, Reynolds pulled me onto his lap and kissed the top of my head. “Are you sure? ‘Cause I’ll abandon everything if it means not losing you. I love you so fucking much.” Reynolds held my hands, and I chewed on my lip. This was so hard. I’d just found him—opened myself up to him—and now I had to make yet another tough decision.

Reynolds pulled my lip out from between my teeth with his thumb. I tilted my head up and kissed his lips.

“You aren’t losing me. We’re pressing pause. We’ll continue to be friends, best friends, and pick this up again in a few months.” My voice quivered, betraying my inner conflict. “I love you enough to wait.”

Reynolds closed his eyes and nodded. “I love you enough to wait, too. You’re right, this is our gift to Jack, and we need to finish it.”

Tears brimmed out of the corners of my eyes. Reynolds and I would start a relationship together, but first we would honor the life of my first love. It was a powerful story that would be played by a beautiful man, both inside and out.

I took Reynolds’ face in my hands and kissed him. “My plane doesn’t leave until tomorrow morning. Our friends-only status doesn’t begin again until that flight departs. I’m all yours, and I hope you’ll take me back in that room and do whatever you want with me.”

Reynolds shot me a naughty smile. His eyes shone with sensuality as he picked me up and carried me to his bedroom without saying a word.

The next twenty-four hours were just for us.

“HEY, REYNOLDS.” MICHAEL Doogan, the actor playing the role of Elwood, approached me with a grin. “Are they here yet?”

“Not yet, man.” He extended a fist, and I bumped mine against his. Michael had several developmental disabilities, but he had taken the role of Elwood to heart. His portrayal would be unforgettable. “You’re up next, right?”

“Yeah. Big scene for me. I got it, though.” We were on set, filming in Montana. Our days and nights were long ones, but the movie was progressing just as I had hoped.

“You gonna introduce me to your friend, Mrs. Atwater?” For the past few months, Liz and I had stayed true to our plan and showed the world a façade of friendship. We still talked several times a day and I would Skype with her and the boys each evening. We even had hot as hell phone sex late at night. But we were the only ones who knew about that.