Past Heaven (12 page)

“Cindy!” Liz shouted, covering her ears. She then pushed Cindy toward the front door.

“I was going to say nap! What were you thinking, Liz? Bye, Reynolds! See you soon, sweetie!” Cindy called out as Liz walked her to her car.

I chuckled to myself as I restarted my laptop and looked around Liz’s kitchen. I had never been anywhere like this. Growing up, my parents had been loving, but they had worked most of the time. That meant I spent a lot of time by myself. I didn’t grow up around laughter and teasing. We’d have thoughtful and intellectual discussions, but not the easy-going nature of this home.

I leaned back in my chair and stretched out my legs. Resting my hands on top of my head, I let today’s events sink in. Liz and I were working on a crippling story. I knew that, but something came over me, and I couldn’t explain it. I wished I could find a way to ease Liz’s pain. I’d never liked tears. I didn’t know any guy who did, and watching her cry had been crushing.

Liz laughed as she came back into the room and snapped me out of my thoughts. “I’m sorry. She’s a lunatic!” She rubbed her temples as she leaned against the doorway. “Let me make it up to you. Stay for dinner. I’d like the boys to get to know the man working with me on their dad’s story.”

“That sounds great, thanks.” I shifted in my chair and kicked myself in the ass. Dinner with her kids? Shit. I’d never eaten a meal with kids. I wondered if I could sit through the entire thing without coming out of my skin. This could become awkward. Liz’s face brightened up as she moved toward the counter. But if dinner would help Liz and her boys to feel more comfortable around me…I thought I could, at the very least, act my way through it.

We had worked until the bus thundered down the street, and then Liz went outside to meet the kids. The door swung open, and the boys ran into the house with hellos and high fives—except for Griffin. He glowered and gave me the evil eye.

“Griff, Grayson, finish your cookies and then head into the den to do your homework. Hayden, you stay here where I can check on you.” Liz placed a tray in the oven. “You need to be quiet, though. Reynolds is finishing his work, too.” Hayden nodded solemnly at his mother and then gave me a sideways glance and smiled mischievously.

Hayden was quiet for approximately three minutes.

“Dang, Mommy, these B’s and D’s are hard!” Hayden wrinkled his brow and gripped his oversized pencil tightly as he practiced over and over again.

“They are buddy, but you’ll get it.” Liz replied, flipping through a stack of mail.

I leaned over Hayden’s shoulder and watched the progression from shaky to steady as he practiced the outline of his letters. “Nice work, little man.”

“Reynolds, will you play soccer with me before dinner? Pretty pleeeaasse?” He begged with his little hands clasped together.

Hell no
. I did not play with kids. I plastered a fake smile on my face as I looked down at him. That little guy’s face was cute, though. Hard to resist cute. I was staying for dinner so I needed to be flexible, right? I looked over my shoulder at the backyard behind me. I hadn’t gotten any exercise yet today and the weather looked nice. I pushed away from the table to stand and felt something sticky clumped onto my fingers. I swallowed, my mind racing with foul images of what it could possibly be.

“Sorry! That’s from my glue stick.” Hayden grabbed a napkin off the table and swiped at my fingers, causing the napkin to stick to the glue. This was why I didn’t play with kids.

Hayden brought his face inches from mine. “I’ll be more careful, Mr. Reynolds.” His voice quivered and his eyes glistened.

I really did like soccer.

Looking over Hayden’s head, I caught Liz’s eye and she nodded in approval. I peeled the sticky napkin from my fingers and rubbed my hands together. “Let’s play ball.”

“Block him. Get in there, Hayden.” I turned and switched directions, trying to get in front of Grayson. He laughed and moved past me as Griffin kicked the ball to him.

“Scoooooorrrrre!” Grayson cheered as he kicked a goal. He jumped in the air in celebration and Hayden burst out laughing. Grayson chest bumped his brothers and then me. I couldn’t keep from joining in the laughter. I glanced at Griffin and his smile vanished as he dribbled the ball away.

Standing at the grill, Liz had a faraway, wistful look on her face. “You okay?” I rested my hand on her forearm and she winced, pulling it away. Shit, she didn’t like to be touched. Why couldn’t I remember that?

“Yup.” She nodded and gave me a quick smile. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen this, but it’s a good thing. Thank you. They’re having a blast.” She brought her arms across her body and watched them play.

I smiled back, but my stomach clenched. Maybe I blurred the line with the soccer. “No biggie, Liz. It was just a game.”

As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I wanted to take them back. While I meant them, they sounded cold and callous. She jolted back, her jaw set tight. She smiled, the same fake smile I’d shown to Hayden earlier, and turned back towards the grill.

“Of course it was just a game. Still, it was kind of you to indulge them.” Her voice was flat and my throat became dry. Why didn’t I think before I spoke?

“Let’s eat!” Liz called out to the boys, and they headed inside to wash up.

“Liz, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound rude.” I moved in front of her, blocking her from entering the house.

She pinched the sides of her nose and squeezed her eyes shut. “You have nothing to apologize for. This is all me. Now, come on. Let’s enjoy dinner.” We walked into the kitchen and I washed my hands at the sink.

“Wine?” Liz asked as she poured herself a glass of Cabernet. “I have to drink a glass of red with steaks.” I nodded, and she filled my glass as well.

Sipping the wine, I felt my body begin to relax. My stomach unclenched and I filled my plate with food as it was passed around. Leaning forward, I inhaled deeply, the smell of the home cooked food making my mouth water.

“This looks and smells amazing.” I picked up my knife and fork and cut into the thick rib-eye. I took a bite, appreciating the taste of the perfectly cooked beef.

“Um, Mr. Reynolds?” Hayden looked at me with a questioning expression. I stopped chewing, and looked around the table. No one was eating. All four sat with their hands clasped in front of their plates.

“Prayers, famous dude.” Grayson held up his clasped hands.

Christ.
They prayed before eating? I’d never said prayers. I forced myself to swallow my partially chewed lump of meat and clasped my damn hands.

“Two eyes to look to God.” Hayden spoke, pointing to his eyes, and the other three repeated his words and mimicked his actions. My eyes bulged out as I watched them. I was supposed to repeat after him? “Two feet to walk His ways.” Hayden pointed to his feet, and again they did the same. I missed the words I was supposed to say, but I pointed to my feet a few seconds after them. I looked like an idiot. I memorized scripts and I was struggling to follow along with a kid’s prayer. “Two hands to do His will.” Hayden held up his hands and beamed when he saw I was following along with the correct line and action. “And one heart to love Him still, Amen.” Placing his hand over his heart, solemnly, a smile broke out across my face as we finished the family prayer. I had to admit, Hayden was a sweet kid.

I didn’t know what I thought my first family dinner would be like. Maybe I expected to be annoyed, but I ended up surprised. I laughed more than I had in months. Liz laughed so hard at a story Grayson told that she choked on her wine. The boys told us about the happenings that day, which girls they were picking on in school, and what the lunchroom gossip was about. It was real. This was how people—real people—actually lived.

The boys excused themselves from the table, each one taking his plate to the sink. I’d become so used to Maria doing this for me, that I’d almost forgotten my manners.

“Let me help with the dishes.” I stacked a pile of dirty plates and placed them in the sink and then cleared the table.

“You’re a guest here, Reynolds. No way are you doing the dishes.” The laughter and conversation at dinner had relaxed Liz, too. She pressed her lips together and glared at me with mock outrage. I wanted to laugh. Maybe it was only the wine talking, but she was acting more comfortable around me. This would make working together much easier.

“Let me do my part and help you!” I laughed as she pushed me out of the way.

“Next time. You helped clear and that’s enough for tonight. Baby steps. I don’t just hand over my kitchen to anyone until I’m sure they can handle it.” She raised her eyebrows in challenge, and I threw my hands up in defeat.

“Okay, okay! You win. For tonight only.” I walked into the family room where the boys played video games.

“Goodnight, guys.” I crouched down by the couch to say goodbye.

“Night,” Grayson responded with a grin. “Nice beating you in soccer.”

I laughed at his response and then high fived Hayden. I was purposefully ignored by Griffin.

I popped my head in the kitchen. “I’m heading out.”

Liz wiped her hands with a towel and looked up at me as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Let me walk you out.”

As we headed to the door, I struggled to find the words to express what tonight had meant to me. I wasn’t sure I understood it myself. All I knew was that I’d had a great night, in the tiny town of Jacksonville. It wasn’t fancy. It wasn’t sexy. It sure as hell wasn’t cool. But damn if I didn’t like it.

At the Atwater dinner table tonight, I felt grounded for the first time I could remember. I grasped both of Liz’s hands in mine and glanced away, searching for the right way to thank her for everything. At the point of contact, her body stiffened. My eyes darted to her widened stare, but she stood still and didn’t pull away. “Thank you for tonight….” My words trailed away.

Liz looked up at me and smiled, nodding while biting her lip nervously. I could blame it on the wine, the way my heart was rapidly beating, or the way her huge brown eyes studied my face, but I went ahead and asked her the question that had been on my mind since earlier today. “Liz, I’m curious. Did I make your list?” I couldn’t keep the amusement off my face as she blushed and then laughed as she studied the floor.

She stretched onto her tiptoes, and her lips came close to my ear. Her warm breath made my pulse race. “Number one.”

Having her so close to me shocked me. My body ignited, as if she had been pressed against me. In my profession, I had encountered impressive and exotic women every day, but I’d never met a woman whose mere proximity made my body react so quickly.

She took an immediate step back and looked away. I rubbed my chin, swallowing roughly and managed to choke out, “Tomorrow, ten o’clock?”

She nodded, staring at the floor, and whispered good night. I walked to my car, feeling a strange combination of pride, confusion, and total arousal.

Fuck
. I could see it coming. Shit was about to get complicated.

“I TOLD HIM.” I whispered into the phone, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling.