Once Written, Twice Shy (The Broken Men Chronicles) (19 page)

He’s awake.

I kept repeating those words to myself as Julie kept
talking her end of the line.

To be honest, I only registered her first statement
and the rest of what she’d said had pretty much fallen as mutterings much like
that of Charlie Brown’s teacher.

Alissa sat up as I stared off into space with the
receiver stuck to my head.  Her hand had been rubbing on my leg for who knows
how long as I sat there repeating Julie’s first two words internally.

I grasped Alissa’s hand and squeezed.  The hand
that held the receiver shook and when she realized that I was in some sort of
shock, she made a grab for it.

“Julie?” she asked.  I turned to look at her as
she spoke to my ex-wife, barely registering what she was saying until she hung
up the phone.

“He’s awake,” I said, as I felt my emotions coming
around.  “He’s awake!”

Elation had finally taken over.

Alissa sat there and watched me pace the room and
ramble on in excitement as if I were a child that had just found out he was
headed to
Disneyland
.  I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at her
when I heard her giggle.

“We’ve got to go,” I said.

“I was just about to say that.”  She got up with
the towel wrapped around her body.  I eyed her with hunger.  The memory of what
we were about to do came back to me and I groaned.  “You can show me how happy
you are when we get back,” she said and walked by me as I stood there naked,
following her with my eyes, “now get dressed.”

***

Forty minutes later, we were walking into Jasper’s
room.  I saw him sitting up and telling Julie and Todd about something in that
classically animated fashion of his.  You could have sworn the little guy had
only been napping and that nothing had ever been wrong.  Aside from the fact
that he looked like a human pin-cushion and his pale complexion was still
visible, it was the best picture of him I’d seen in weeks.

“What’s all this commotion about?” I asked and
couldn’t help the boisterous laugh that rang out when everyone in the room
jumped.

When my son looked up to beam in excitement at my
presence, had it not been for the machines he still was connected to, I’m sure
he would have jumped off the bed to leap into my arms.

“Daddy!”

I rushed to his bedside and held Jasper to my
chest and kissed the top of his head for what must have felt like hours to the
poor tyke but he never complained.  When I released him, he turned to Alissa
and began to bounce around in his seat.

“Boy they didn’t lie when they said that the
recipients bounce back quicker than the donors,” she said as she made her way
next to me and giggled.

Jasper had scooted over and demanded that Alissa
sit beside him on the bed.  He reiterated his story about this angel who had
come to visit him in his dreams and told him a story.  Most of us were laughing
except for Alissa.  When I looked up, I noticed her eyes glistening.

“Why are you crying?” Jasper asked when he looked
up at her after she’d given him a quick squeeze.  He was just as perceptive as
he always had been.

“It’s nothing, sweetie,” she said and smiled while
wiping her escaped tears and hugged him again, his tiny hand patting her arm.

“When do I go home?  I want to go home, Daddy,”
Jasper said.

Soon I hope.

“It depends on Doctor Messing, sweetie,” Julie said,
“but I think you’ll be here for a while yet.”

My son grumbled his frustration at it all.

***

Having to leave that night was one of the hardest
things I’ve ever done.  It had been a great day and I didn’t want it to end.

I paused before opening the car door for Alissa. 
Something begged me to ask her about her earlier display of emotion.

With a light grasp on her arm, I spun her around
and backed her into the side of my car.  I pecked her lips and pulled away.  “About
those tears,” I said.  “I sense that-”

“It wasn’t an angel that Jasper heard,” she said,
“it was me.  Those words…well not those exactly, but-”

I laughed.  “You told him
that
?”  My hands
rubbed up and down the sides of her arms.

“Well, not exactly.  You know kids really only
hear what they want to hear.  Still…I’m shocked he actually heard me,” she said. 
I nodded.

I waited until we were half-way home before I dared
ask my next question.  “So what exactly did you tell him?”

“I said that we were worried about him, that he
had lots of things left to do and that if he didn’t wake up soon, that I would
send him a tickle monster to wake him up.  I told him that we loved him and
that the princess needed her prince to make the king happy,” she said.  “I have
no clue where the rest came from.”

Jasper’s version of the tale construed of Alissa’s
said tickle monster, kidnapping the princess and Prince Jasper’s blueberry pancakes
had been poisoned with sleeping potion.  Needless to say, he had to fight to
come back to rescue the princess and bring her back to the king with the
angel’s help.  “Due to his obsession with your pancakes, I can figure why his
favorite food got in there.”  I shook my head and laughed.  “I’m not going to
go anywhere near the rest of that story.”

“I’ll hand you one thing, the apple doesn’t fall
far from the tree,” she said and reached for my hand.  “He’s got a great
imagination, just like his father.”

“He’s always been smart but this is the first time
he’s come up with something this wacky,” I said.  “Still, I’m wondering where
he got the angel bit about you though.”

“Hey!”  She smacked me but judging by the smirk on
her face, she was far from insulted.  “It’s his dream, let him imagine what he
wants,” she said.  “I’m kind of enjoying the fact that he thinks of me as an
angel.  Then again, I enjoy being the devil woman in your dreams too.”  She
winked.

I guffawed.  “I love that you can have a little angel
and devil in you, baby,” I said and kissed her palm.  “I think I’ll keep you,
not just because you seem to be the only one to rouse my son when he’s in a
comatose state but because I’m selfish.”

She snickered.  “I moved here, you better,” she
said.  “I’ll let you in on a little secret, though.”  She leaned in and
whispered the next.  “I want you to be selfish.”

I squeezed her hand in mine as she leaned back in
her seat and looked out the passenger side window.  “Gorgeous, I’m not letting
you go.”

She turned and graced me with a sweet smile.  “Good
because I wasn’t planning on leaving anyhow.”

“Glad we’re on the same page.”

***

We opted for some takeout to quench our ever-growing
hunger and did one of my favourite things which I’d done with Jasper too few
times.  I turned the lights down low, put the pizza box on the bedspread,
stripped down to my boxers and crawled in beside Alissa.  We munched on dinner
and laughed at the latest re-run of Friends—it was easy; it was effortless; it
was comfortable.

Once again, I found myself submerged in one of
life’s simple pleasures.  I was in heaven.  One look from Alissa and I knew she
felt the same way.

Pizza box aside, drinks guzzled down, I had Alissa
wrapped up in my arms with the TV long forgotten.  Her breath fanned down my
bare chest at a slow rhythm—she had fallen asleep.

Looking down at her, I kissed the top of her head
and smiled.  The more I pondered about life, the more I wondered how I could
have ever thought that Julie had been the one for me.  In retrospect, I deduced
that she might not have been the one to make me happy but she had been the one
to have given me the most precious of gifts life could bring—Jasper.  It was
unfortunate that I had to work my way through heartbreak in order to find what
Alissa and I have but I had found it nonetheless.

In such a short amount of time, Alissa had come
into my life when I least expected to find my luck changing.  She made
everything better.  Her words offered comfort and smiles; her voice rang about
in my head like music; her laughter though melodious as it is made all the
greys and blacks in the world fade and shine through with more color.  Alissa
was the missing ingredient in this intricate recipe that which I call my life.

“What are you thinking so hard about?” she asked against
my chest before she left a lazy kiss on my skin and snuggled closer.

“You…us,” I said and squeezed her closer to me.

“I love you,” she said and lifted her head to look
at me with those sleepy doe eyes of hers.

“I love you too.”

The following morning, I was called into the office
due to some emergency.  At Alissa’s request, I dropped her off at the hospital
and called Julie to let her know that if she felt comfortable, to sit back and
take some time for herself and Todd instead of rushing to Jasper’s bedside.

It was a little after two in the afternoon when I
was able to pull myself away from work—a day I shouldn’t have been in at all
considering it was a weekend.  I was en route to find the two most important
people in my world when an idea struck me.

When I arrived, I took my surprise along with me. 
I was hoping that Julie wasn’t there or else I knew I’d never hear the end of
it.

I came to a stop right outside of Jasper’s room
door.  A smile broke across my face when I heard the giggling.

“How ‘bout you ask Daddy about that?  I don’t
think I should be the one telling you anything about that stuff,” Alissa said.

“But-” Jasper said.

“No
but,
mister,” she said and I could hear
the smile in her voice.

“Daddy should know,” Jasper said with a slight
lisp.

My heart raced.  I felt like I was a car and
someone had double-started me.  What the heck were they talking about?

“
Daddy should know
what?” I asked before I
realized that my feet had walked me into the room and I held up my brown paper
bag.  I kissed Alissa on the cheek and then hugged my son.

“What you got there, handsome?” she asked as she
tried to sneak in behind me and reach for the parcel.  I was too quick for her
and kept my surprise out of her reach.

“If I didn’t know you better I’d say you were
trying to evade the question,” I said and smirked when she blushed.

“Allie said-” Jasper started but Alissa rushed him
and started tickling him.

“I told you not to say anything.  Now the tickle
monster is going to get you,” she said and Jasper squealed.

“No fair,” Jasper said.  “Daddy…make Allie…s-stop!”

This went on for a few more minutes until Jasper swore
he wouldn’t say anything and when Alissa backed up, he blurted it all out in
one breath anyway.

That’s my boy!  Hold on…what?

“Daddy, she wants to be my mommy,” he said.  His
next few words were what nearly caused me to fall flat onto my ass.  “You have
to marry her, Daddy.  I want Allie as a mommy too.”

Alissa, bless her soul, steered me to the nearby
chair and sat me down.  She reached for the brown bag that I clutched in my
hand and opened it up.

“Ooh,” Jasper said and clapped with excitement
when he watched Alissa pull out the small tub of ice cream I had purchased for
all of us to share.

“Chocolate chip cookie dough,” Alissa said and
handed a spoon to both of us and kept one for herself as she popped the lid and
seal off of the container.  “Great choice…let’s dig in.”

A few minutes later, I was snapped out of my
shocked reverie by a spoon filled with the dessert being held to my lips.  I
jumped back, looked up at a smiling Alissa who winked and nodded for me to take
a bite.

When I had done just that, she bent over and
kissed me on the forehead and turned to go back to sit beside Jasper who seemed
to be going to town on the treat.

“Hurry, Daddy, there might not be any left for you
by the time you get over here,” Alissa said as if what Jasper had blurted out
hadn’t even occurred.

I smiled and shook my head at her; got up and
jumped on to sit on my son’s other side.  I rubbed his bare head and kissed the
crown of it as I started digging in.  One thought came to mind when I peered
over Jasper’s head and found Alissa smiling back at me—
this
was home. 
Home wasn’t about where I was; home was about who I was with.

***

Julie had arrived and I was glad that the ice
cream tub was empty and tucked away in its brown paper bag and tossed in the hallway
trashcan.  The flack I would have received for ruining my son’s appetite for
dinner would have been completely worth it for that hour we had just spent
together.

“Alissa,” Julie said, “I have something I’ve been
meaning to ask you.”

My head snapped from the quiet conversation I was
having with Jasper to my girlfriend and ex-wife.

“Sure,” Alissa said.

“Paxton told me that you work for an event
coordinating place and,” she said and then looked down at her feet, up to the
ceiling, to the side and back to Alissa as if looking for courage from any nook
and corner of the room.  “I was wondering…”

Alissa looked at me and me at her with a
what
the hell
expression.  I knew where this was going and I couldn’t believe it.

“I need help planning my wedding,” Julie said and
allowed a loud breath of air to escape her lungs as if relieved that her words
were finally out.

“You can’t be serious?” I asked.

My ex’s eyes narrowed on me.  “I can’t-”

“I’d be honoured,” Alissa said far more quick and
determined than I anticipated.

Julie’s and my gazes snapped in Alissa’s direction.

“Really?” she asked, clearly as surprised as I was.

“Yeah,” I said, “
really?
”

“Why not,” she said, “it’s what I do.  How ‘bout
you come in on Monday and we’ll discuss what you and Todd want.”

I couldn’t believe it.  Julie and Alissa would be
planning a wedding together?  My girlfriend’s planning a wedding for the mother
of my son and another man?  What the hell was going on around here?  And here I
thought that Todd asking me for Julie’s hand in marriage had been awkward.

Truth be told, I wouldn’t have thought it odd had
our divorce been amicable.  Aside from it being Alissa’s job, I was stunned that
she had accepted Julie’s proposal so easily.  After being verbally assaulted on
multiple occasions, their friendship or whatever you could call it had just
begun.  My girlfriend was far more forgiving than the average person but then
again, I already knew that.  Despite any trouble that might brew on the
horizon, there was no doubt in my mind that Alissa could handle the task.

***

That night, I watched as Alissa walked out of the
bathroom, clad in nothing but a small towel.  I lay on my bed taking in the
sight before me with my fingers interlaced and tucked behind my head.

She grabbed her bottle of lotion and walked over
to the bed and sat down on its edge with her back to me.  She poured a small
amount into the palm of her hand and proceeded to rub it into her arm.  There
was something sensual and erotic in the way her fingers glided across her skin.

I had watched her over the last few weeks, performing
this same ritualistic routine after her showers but for some reason, this time was
different.

I found myself knelt behind her, brushing her damp
hair over her shoulder and kissing the nape of her neck.  A small tremor ran
through her body.

“What are you doing?” she asked and I could hear
the smile in her voice.

“Need help with that?” I asked as I trailed my
kisses outward to her shoulder.  Before she could answer, I had her bottle of
lotion in my hands and began pouring a small amount to rub into her other arm. 
“Why don’t you lie down while I do this.”

“Why, Mr. Lowell,” she said and turned enough so I
could see the flirtatious look on her face, “if I didn’t know better, I’d say
you were trying to start something.”

“Me?  Never…”

“Mmm…hmm.”

I worked her entire backside all the way down to
her legs.  She was submersed in her own peaceful little world that she hadn’t
noticed her towel come undone or the fact that I had pulled it away from her,
leaving it on the floor beside the bed.

“You’re killing me with those low moans of yours,
sweetheart,” I said.

“It’s not my fault,” she said, “you’re so good at
this.”  Another moan.

“I had no idea,” I said while kissing her mid-back
up to one of her shoulders and positioned my lips right at her ear to whisper, “Flip
over.”  I felt the shiver pass through her body and the almost inaudible
whimper that she emitted.

She turned for me and I had to fight my urges in
order to even get started on applying the lotion to her front.  My member
swelled larger and the pain from the tightness in my jeans had caused me to reach
down and adjust myself.

“Take them off,” she said.

I didn’t have to be told twice.  Stripped down to
my boxers, I assumed the position I had been in prior to shedding my clothes.

I started with the front of her legs.  Her eyes
never wavered from my face which made this whole experience even more intimate. 
Whenever I looked up at her, our eyes would connect and heat would surge.

The more my hands climbed toward her core, the
heavier her breathing became.  Her eyes darkened to that classic bright blue, her
lids looked heavy and her mouth parted as she licked her bottom lip before
biting down on it.

I worked lotion up from her belly, to her breasts,
avoiding her nipples to which the peaks had hardened.

When I finished, my hands may have left her body
but my lips joined in the fun.  I kissed up her neck, nibbled her earlobe and
gave her a deep kiss on the mouth.  Her eyes were glazed with sheer relaxation
and her body lacked any and all tension that it previously carried.

I pulled back and ran a questing finger over her
cheek, down her jaw bone and to her lips.  “Come out to dinner with me tomorrow
night,” I said before depositing a chaste kiss.

She nodded her head before nuzzling my nose.  “Paxton?”

“Hmm,” I kissed a trail down to her collarbone
before I settled my body over hers.

“Roll over,” she said and leaned up to kiss me
softly.  “It’s my turn to have my hands all over you.”

By the time she was done with her rubbing, my
entire body felt like a pile of jelly.

She crawled her body back up over mine and I
grabbed her forearms, pulling her down.  My lips collided with hers in a slow lazy
kiss that made her sigh into my mouth.  I smiled up at her when she pulled
away, my fingers tucking a loose piece of her hair behind her ear.

“That was amazing,” I said and tilted her head
down to kiss her forehead.  “I don’t know why I’ve never contemplated a massage
therapist before but I doubt that they’d be as effective as you.”

Alissa gave me a perplexed look.  “You mean you’ve
never had a full body rub from your women before?”

I shook my head.  “You’re the first and only to
grace my entire body with your hands.”

“You’ve been missing out,” she said.  “Then again,
I’m glad I’m the only one who’s had the pleasure of touching every square inch
of you.”

Her fingertips created electrical currents over my
upper chest as she traced an indiscernible pattern.

My curiosity won over.  “So you’ve been rubbed
before?”

“Only once,” she said.  “There was this parlour
the girls had brought me to, back home.  The guy had the most wonderful hands.” 
I groaned at her dream-like sounding voice.  Yes, I was jealous about another
man having his hands all over her.  It didn’t matter that it was his profession
or that it was in the past.  “I mean,
big
hands,” she continued and
demonstrated how large they were with gestures.  “Hands that knew where to
touch me to make me-”

I kissed her hard and fast to shut her up,
laughing into her mouth.  “Bullshit,” I said.

She giggled and sat up over my hips.  “Whatever do
you mean?”  That exaggerated aloof look of hers made me laugh harder.

“You had me fooled at first until you got to the
hands
bit,” I said and mimicked her descriptive actions.  “Then there was the
mischievous glint in your eyes and the upward quirking of your lips that gave
you away.”

“You’re right.  It was a massage therapist and she
was a very manly looking lady named Gretta,” she said before grinning and
laying her head on my chest.  “Can I say it’s scary how well you know me?”

“I’m glad you’re easy to read just like me.  Not
having to guess is one of the things I love about you, baby.”  And I hugged her
closer.