Once Written, Twice Shy (The Broken Men Chronicles) (17 page)

“Go ahead,” he said and gestured for me to move
forward.

“Daddy, Nurse Jackie said that I’ll be going to
sleep and dream of all my favourite things,” he said.  “She said I can dream
about ice cream and going to the park for as long as I want.  When can we go to
the park again, Daddy?”

Julie kept silent but I noticed the tears welling
up in her eyes.  I looked down at our son and fought the resilient lump I
couldn’t quite manage to clear, in my throat.  “As soon as this is all over and
you’re better, we’ll all go play at the park.  Why don’t we make a
Jasper Day
out of it?” I asked.

He perked up and said, “You mean like the day we
had with you, me and Allie?”

“Sure thing, tough guy,” I said, “and we’ll even
get Mommy and Todd to come along with us too.  How does that sound?”

He giggled and said, “Perfect!  Does that mean I
get two ice creams?”

“I doubt it but we’ll see.  Let’s get this show on
the road,” I said and stuck my fist out so he could bump it with his free hand.
 “Are you ready?”

“Yeah, Daddy.”

“I love you,” I said, “and I’ll be waiting for you
when you wake up.  I promise.”

“Okay, Daddy,” he said.

***

It had been nearly an hour and a half and Alissa
hadn’t been brought out yet.  I began pacing the waiting area, wondering what
the hell might have gone wrong when a nurse walked our way.

“Mr. Lowell?” she asked.

I rushed to her and said, “Yeah?”

“Ms. Hidgins is ready to be seen, sir,” she said. 
“We’re sorry for the wait.  We’re a little busy today and it took the porters a
little longer to get her back to her room.”

I breathed easier and turned to Julie.  “Are you
okay?”

She nodded.  “We’ll come get you or send someone
when we hear about Jasper,” she said.  I gave a curt nod and turned to follow
the nurse.

I walked into her room to that same beeping sound
from the cardiac monitor from earlier.  She was sleeping.  I kissed her
forehead, letting my fingers skim across her cheekbones as her eyelashes
fluttered.

“I love you so much,” I said to her.  I sat down,
laid my hand on her thigh and let my head fall to the side of the mattress as I
breathed my relief that she was okay.  “I can’t believe you’ve done this,” I
said to the silence.

“I would do it again,” she said with a croaky
voice before I felt her hand tangle itself in my messy hair.  “Now kiss me like
you did before they took me away.”

I smiled at her loopy smirk and what else could I
do?  I indulged her.  Hell, it was quite possible that she had saved my son’s
life.  If all she wanted was a passion-filled kiss, I was going to give it to
her—she deserved the world in my opinion.  Only, I was questioning if I would
always be enough for this woman.

When I backed away, the look of clarity in her
eyes told me everything I needed to know.

A series of calls were made over the PA system and
next thing I knew, hospital staff were running about the halls, rushing like
ants to a piece of dropped fruit.  By their frantic activity, things didn’t
look good for whoever the patient was.

It wasn’t until I noticed that Alissa was looking
past me and toward her hospital room door that I filled with complete dread and
my son popped to the forefront of my mind.

Please God, don’t let that last mad rush be
about Jasper.

“Mr. Lowell,” the nurse said and I turned toward
the voice.

“Yes?”

Her sympathetic facial got my heart thumping and
my blood to rush through my veins.

Oh God…

I felt Alissa grab my hand and squeeze it.

“It’s your son, sir,” she said.  “I wanted to let
you know that they’ll be a little longer than predicted.”

The woman stood there, shifty on her feet.  I
could tell that she hadn’t been in the field for all that long and wasn’t
accustomed to bearing news to family members about their loved one.

“Is everything alright?” Alissa asked the nurse as
it seemed that my attempts at composing myself were failing and my speech had
left me.

“Jasper’s had a reaction to the anesthesia but
we’ve got everything under control,” she said.  “I just figured that I would
let you know of this now so that you won’t be surprised when he comes out.”

“Surprised?” Alissa asked.

“Why would I be surprised?” I asked as relief took
over but only slight.

“Well, sir,” she said, “he won’t be waking up
right away.  The doctor had to induce a coma due to his brain swelling after he
threw a clot.  It’s a precaution he deemed necessary to use due to the nature
of the procedure and your son’s underlying condition.”

“Are you telling me that my son had a stroke?” I asked. 
She nodded.  “But he’s only four!”

“I’m sorry, sir.  These reactions rarely happen
but anesthesia does hold its own set of risks,” she said and began to back
away.  “I just figured you would appreciate the information right away.  The doctor
will be available to answer any questions you may have when he’s out of the OR.”

I swallowed hard.  “Thank you.”

“And sir,” she said and I looked her way once
again to see a weary smile.  “Everything else is going as planned.  They should
be done within the next half hour.”

The air felt as if it had been knocked out of me. 
I was relieved to know that Jasper was going to be okay but far from thrilled
that he had to suffer through yet another complication.

I felt helpless again; much like the day we had
found out about his JMML.  Despite knowing there was nothing I could have done
about the clot, it was still a tough lump to swallow.

“Pax, stop it,” Alissa said.  “You’re blaming
yourself again.”

“I’m that transparent, huh?”

“Even when I’m loopy I can read you like a book,” she
said.  “Now go find Julie and make sure that she’s-”

“We’re here.”  I turned to the door to face my
ex-wife.  “How are you feeling?” she asked Alissa as if their previous moment
of hostility had never occurred.

“Sore but I’ll survive,” she said.  “How’re you
holding up?”

“The nurse came to let us know that everything is
going smoothly and they’re almost done,” Julie said.  “They’re keeping him
comatose for the day and they may try and wean him off over the next day or so if
there aren’t any other complications.”

      “When can we see him?” I asked.

“That’s why I’m here,” Julie said, “Messing came
out after I sent the nurse your way and said that we’d be able to see him in
the next half-hour.  He seems optimistic but mentioned that it would take some
time.  They’re about to wheel him to his post-op room and then they’ll come and
get us.”

Aside from evident exhaustion from the day’s
stress, Julie seemed quite controlled with regards to her emotions.  Instead of
being just as solid on my feet as I’ve been over the last few months, I felt a
little off-kilter, emotionally drained.  I doubted being able to support anyone
but myself and Alissa .  If anything, Alissa was the epitome of strength for
both of us right now.

***

Before long, visiting hours were up and some
middle-aged nurse rushed us out of Jasper’s room.  I wasn’t the least bit
impressed with her tact but what was I to do?  This was the Paediatric ICU we
were talking about.  Their protocols were a bit stricter and when it came down
to the fine line, I wasn’t about to jeopardize my son’s health or that of
anyone else’s child.

I had made my way back to Alissa’s room and found
her chatting it up with Doctor Messing, glad to see her dressed and sitting up.
 The tension in her jaw and the dullness in her eyes indicated that she was
having some discomfort.

“I’ve got the all-clear,” she said and smiled.  I
walked to her side and kissed the crown of her head.

“I want you back in here in two days’ time so I
can check up on everything,” Doctor Messing said.

“I’ll be here,” she said.  “I’ll be going
stir-crazy staying in until then.”

I smirked at her.  “I can think of a few things
that don’t require any or much effort on your part,” I said leaning into her
ear so only she could hear.

She blushed, nudged me in my side and then let her
head fall onto my shoulder.

“Just remember the list of things to look out
for.  If any of them pop up, I want you back in here ASAP,” Messing said.

“Let’s get you home,” I said when a porter showed
up with a wheelchair for her.  “Riding in style, I see.”

Alissa’s nose scrunched up at my lame joke and
said, “I’d rather walk but I’m doing what I was told to do so I don’t have to
hurt as much.”

“And I suppose hospital policy has nothing to do
with it?” I asked.

“Are you kidding, it’s got
everything
to do
with it,” she said.

***

We got home and I had gone ahead, unlocked the
door and rushed back to her.  I knew she could walk but I also knew that it
hurt to do so.  Enough proof of that was shown when Messing had gotten her up to
help gauge if she was ready to leave.

“You’re not carrying me,” she said as if reading
my mind.

I got close to her face and smiled.  “Let me do
this for you,” I said.  “You argued about me helping you into the Jeep and it
hurt you.  I don’t need you hurting more than I know you already are.”

She didn’t put up a fight.  Instead, she pecked my
cheek and studied my face before wrapping her arm around my neck and I took
charge.

I let her down on the bed, with her feet dangling
off its side.  She looked up at me and my gaze fused to hers.

“Are you okay?” I asked.  “Do you need anything?”

She nodded and averted her eyes in a shy manner. 
I grabbed her chin and tilted her face so her eyes came back to meet mine.

“What is it, baby?”

“I need you to help me out of these clothes and
into something more comfortable,” she said.

I laughed because I knew that she had help from
the nurse earlier.  Like a gentleman, I catered to her needs.  She helped me
shift her shirt up and over her head, revealing her bust.

My eyes never left hers except for the few seconds
I needed to get to the buttons on her pants.  I slid them down her body and got
to my knees where I helped her take her legs out of the garment while she held
on to my shoulders.

My hands trailed over her bare skin.  I got back
up to my feet and let my open palms glide from her lower back where I felt the
edge of the bandage to her shoulder-blades.  She had closed her eyes, smiling
as she melted into my chest.  With her head tilted back, I took the opportunity
to let my lips do the talking over the sensitive skin of her neck.  “I love
you,” I said and finished with a nip to her ear.  She whimpered.  “Let’s get
you into bed.”

I woke to a still sleeping Alissa.  She had found
slumber on her stomach but hadn’t strayed very far from me through the night. 
I ran my fingers down her bare back and stopped at the edge of the bandage.  How
many people did I know that would willingly put themselves through hell to save
a life like she had?  I groaned.

I recalled how she had woken up in the middle of
the night in a heated sweat and ended up stripping down to her panties.  It
wasn’t uncommon for a donor to come down with a fever after an extraction but
it was imperative that everything was done to keep the temperature down.

With nothing but a thin sheet covering her bottom and
a light snore breaking the silence of the morning every so often, I watched
over her.

That’s when I heard her soft moan.  “Pax.”

Not sure if she was awake or sleeping, I kissed
the back of her shoulder.  Her breath picked up.  I continued and kissed the
back of her neck.  I settled beside her and noticed that her eyes were still shut
but a smile on her face had appeared—she was awake.

“Good morning,” I said and nuzzled her cheek.

She rolled onto her back with a bit of effort.  “What
was that for?”

I hovered above her at her side.  “The sight of
you practically naked in my bed makes me want to do things, things I simply can’t
do to you right now,” I said and pecked her on her lips.  “How are you
feeling?”

“Great so far,” she said.  “Not much pain but I
suppose I’ll know more when I try to stand or walk.”  She kissed me hard on the
mouth.  “Now, about the things you so desperately want to do and can’t.”

“I’ve yet to show my appreciation for what you’ve
done,” I said and nuzzled her nose with mine.

She smiled and said, “There’s no need for that.”

“Oh,” I brushed my lips over hers, “but there is.”

She laughed.

I love that laugh of hers.  It could cure anything
and everything in my opinion.  It turned the cloudiest day to nothing but
sunshine and rainbows.  She was able to make everyone around her happy.  She
made everything right.  She showed me how genuine her feelings were and that
was simple but most of all, it was enough.  Alissa Hidgins had to laugh, it was
that easy.  It’s all she had to do to make me happy; everything else, I could
handle on my own or would fall into place.

“What’s got you grinning like a goof?”

“You,” I said, “just you.”

***

I left Alissa upstairs to relax while I fixed us
some breakfast and called the hospital to see how Jasper had faired overnight
while I was at it.  Nothing had changed, his vitals had remained strong.

Just finishing with the bacon and about to start
with the eggs, I sat the crispy strips on the table when I heard a loud thud.

I rushed upstairs and heard Alissa cry out in
pain.  I entered the bedroom but she wasn’t where I had left her.  I followed
the sound of the shower and let myself in.

“Alissa,” I said.  I found her in a rather
interesting position; bent over naked with her heart-shaped bottom pointed right
at me.  “What the hell are you doing, gorgeous?” I asked but as I approached
with admiration for the sight before me, she straightened herself up with the
help of the shower stall wall.  “Need a little help?”

I bent over and picked up the bottle of body-wash
she had knocked over onto the floor.

“Nice ass,” I said with a smirk.

“Thank you,” she said and took the bottle from me
with a huff, “now, get out.”

“I don’t think I can do that,” I said.  “What if
you drop the shampoo bottle next or maybe the conditioner?”

“Funny,” she said but couldn’t remain serious as
her lips quirked up.  “Seeing as you’re so worried about me maybe I should take
you up on your offer.”

“Are you sure it’s wise?” I asked.  “I mean, what
if you can’t keep your hands off me?  You know we’d be in trouble and I can’t
take you like I normally do.”

Alissa looked like she pondered what I said and smiled
back, mischief all too clear in her eyes.

“Come on, Romeo,” she said.  “I can use someone to
scrub my back and wash my hair.  I think I can control my urges just fine and
you seemed to have done a good job with yours last night.”

I stripped down while she stood in the shower, letting
the water rain down on her.  When I entered, I eyed her glistening body and
groaned as I began to feel those familiar tingles heading down to my nether
region.

God, have mercy.

I erred on the side of caution, choosing to start
with her back and headed south from there.  I didn’t need her to see that the
control over my urges was dwindling.

As I got to that firm tush of hers, she had
removed the bandage and I saw the bruising around the extraction site.  I made
a point to be gentle.  When I ran my palm slightly over the area I felt her
flinch.  Her butt flexed.  I smiled at the sight and gave her a slight love nip
on the opposite cheek.

“I’m not sure having you in here was such a good
idea after all,” she said through clenched teeth.

“I promise I’ll behave,” I said, having finished
with her legs.  I stood up, held up my index and middle fingers together and
gave her a broad and over-exaggerated smile.  “Scout’s honour.”

She laughed at my shenanigans and leaned forward
to kiss my lips with her hands resting on my chest.  She gave me one of her
classic endearing looks.  “Thank you,” she said.  “Has anyone ever told you how
sweet you can be?”

“Only once or twice.”  I winked.

***

Cleansed and fed, Alissa got up with another one
of her winces.

“I didn’t bring you down here for you to tidy up
after my cooking,” I scolded her and got up to take our plates from her hands.

“Hey!”

“Don’t you
hey
me, sweetheart,” I said.  “Now,
get that cute butt of yours to the couch or better yet, to bed.  Your out-of-bed
privileges have been revoked.  You’ve done enough walking for now.”

She snorted.  “What are you, my doctor?”

I put the rinsed plates into the dishwasher and
wiped my hands on a tea towel.  I turned and my gaze softened when our eyes met
as I faced her up close.

“No.  I’m your man,” I said, my hands on her
hips.  “I said I’d take care of you and that’s what I’m doing.  So what’ll it
be?”

After a few seconds of internal deliberation
Alissa had made her decision.  I scooped her up into my arms and carried her
upstairs to our room.  I set her up with the TV, a full glass of water, her
pain medication and cuddled her for what felt like too short of a while but I
had an important thing to do.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay if I head off to the
hospital to check on Jasper?”

“I’ll be fine,” she said and yawned.  The pain
meds had already begun to take effect.  “I think I’ll have a nap while you’re
away.”

I kissed her forehead.  “Sounds like a good idea.”

“I wish I could go with you,” she said with her
eyes drooping.

“I know you do.  I promise you can see him
tomorrow when we go back to get you checked out,” I said.

With a dreamlike sigh, I got an
okay
and I
was off.

I walked into the Pediatric ICU to find that
Jasper’s condition had remained the same as it had been earlier in the morning. 
My timing was impeccable.  Doctor Messing walked in moments after my arrival.

“Mr. Lowell,” he said, “it’s good to see you. 
How’s our donor doing?”

“She’s quite sore but I convinced her to take some
pain medicine this morning.  She’s trying to sleep it off,” I said.  “She said
it’s not as bad as it was yesterday but she didn’t enjoy the walking I made her
do this morning.”

“That’s normal,” he said.  “Mind if I recommend
something?  If you have access to a pool or you’re near a body of water, she
could always try a swim.  She’d get the movement that she needs to avoid any
clotting and cramping issues in her legs and it makes it easier to bear the
pain because of the weightlessness.  Just make sure the procedural site is
waterproofed and change the bandage afterward in case water got to it.”

I nodded.  “I’ll have to mention it to her,” I
said.  “So how’s Jasper this morning?”

“I’m waiting on this morning’s blood-work results
to help me out with that analysis.  We’ll be running an MRI to revisit the
extent of his brain’s swelling.  If it’s gone down, we’ll wait another
twenty-four hours before bringing him out of his coma,” he said.  “The good
thing is that his electroencephalogram is showing optimistic readings. 
Jasper’s brain activity is perfect and he should recover and be as normal as
he’s always been but we won’t know about any
glitches
until he’s awake.”

“Thank God,” I said but I never questioned his
mention of
glitches
.  I wondered what they could possibly entail but I
figured it was pointless to worry until the situation called for it.

***

By lunchtime, I had left the hospital and headed
home.  Alissa was still sleeping when I made my way upstairs.  I sat beside her
and attempted to rouse her as promised.  Her head tilted to the side.  I kissed
her neck where it met her shoulder, smiling at her small whimper.  Kissing
beneath her ear, I trailed my fingers over the soft skin of her arm.

“Mmm…Pax.”  She was dreaming of me.

I nuzzled her cheekbone.  She sighed in total
contentment, her tensed body relaxing itself.

“Wake up, sleeping beauty,” I said in her ear and
gave her a soft kiss to the temple.

Alissa opened her eyes and that’s when I saw the
fire in her irises.  She grabbed on to my face and pulled me in for a scorcher
of a kiss.  Nipping my bottom lip which caused me to gasp, she plundered my
mouth with her tongue.  I braced my arms on either side of her and groaned
while she began to trail hot and wet kisses and nips down my jaw.

“Honey,” I said as I pulled away to look at her
face, “that must have been one hell of a dream.”

“That it was,” she said, “although the real thing
is so much better.”  She winked and reached out for me again.

I shook my head at her and my eyes trailed lower
only to realize that she was naked.

She smirked.  “Like what you see?”

“Very much,” I said, “but would you settle for
some PG-13 fun instead?”

She laughed.  “You mean make out like two horny
teenagers…why not?”

I leaned down and kissed her softly before she
took over and things got heated quickly.