Naughty 2: My Way or the Highway (28 page)

After sitting in the kitchen for about thirty minutes, thinking, I got up to check on Scorpio and Mackenzie. When I walked back into the bedroom, Mackenzie was cuddled up in Scorpio's arms sound asleep. Scorpio kissed Mackenzie and whispered for me to be quiet as she slid out of bed. She walked down the hallway, and I followed her into the living room. She sat on the sofa bed, placed her hands over her face, and cried.

“Thank you so much, Jaylin. You have no idea how much I've missed her. And for you to ask me to let her come back with you, I can't. There is no way, I'm sorry.”

I sat next to her. “Look, don't stress yourself out about it. I'm not going to fight you over this anymore. She's your child and I know more than anything how much she means to you. I'm just sorry you won't come back and work this out with me.”

“Not right now, I can't.” She wiped her eyes. “Did you see what I've done to this place?”

“Yeah, I have. It doesn't look too bad either. I kind of like it.”

“Like it enough to live here yourself?”

I laughed. “No...I don't like it that much.”

“I'm sure you don't. I guess you wouldn't trade in your mansion for a place like this anyway.”

“No, I wouldn't. But it says a lot about a woman's character who would, especially for the sake of her own happiness.” I stood and went into the kitchen to get my coat. There was no need to stay and prolong my misery.

“Are you leaving already?” Scorpio asked, trailing behind me.

“Yes, I think its best, especially while Mackenzie's still asleep.”

“Okay. When she wakes up I'll tell her you said good-bye.” Scorpio reached over and hugged me. I held her tight and didn't want to let go. I did, and made my way to the door.

“Can I have my key?” she asked.

“No, no way. This key is worth a lot of money to me. Trust me, you don't want to know.”

“If you paid Jackson more than ten dollars for it, you're a fool. He's a serious money hustler and will do anything to make a dime.”

“I'm sure he would, but whatever, my loss . . . I guess.”

“So, if you're keeping the key, that must mean you're coming back, right?”

“One day, maybe I will. Who knows?” I winked and opened the door. Scorpio stopped me.

“I love you, Jaylin. And thanks again for bringing Mackenzie.”

“Ditto. And anything to make you happy.”

I got to the car and looked back to see Mackenzie standing on the porch. When I waved, she started crying hysterically. I got out of the car and pulled her back into the house to get her out of the freezing night air.

“Why are you crying, Mackenzie? I'll be back to get you.” Seeing her cry was really starting to work my nerves. I kneeled down to calm her, but she hugged me and wouldn't let go. I looked up at Scorpio. “Why don't you just come home? This is just downright ridiculous for us to be apart like this.”

Mackenzie kept her arms wrapped around me. “Oooo, Daddy, don't go. Please don't leave me. I'll be good, I promise. I don't want to stay if you don't stay.”

“Mackenzie, I can't stay. You said you wanted to spend time with your mommy, so please, I'll be back.” My eyes watered.

Scorpio leaned down next to Mackenzie and me. She swallowed, and I could see the anguish in her eyes. “Mackenzie, if you don't want to stay with me, you don't have to. You can go home with your daddy.”

Mackenzie hugged Scorpio's neck too. “I want to stay with you, Mommy, but I want Daddy to stay with us too. Why can't he stay? Please let him stay,” she begged.

“I can't stay, Mackenzie. I promise you I'll be back.” I kissed her cheek and stood up. This was too much for me, so I tightened my coat and quickly opened the door. Without looking back, I listened to Mackenzie yell and scream my name, but I kept on walking to the car.

I couldn't take the pressure. It was killing me not knowing if Scorpio was going to be a part of my life anymore. When I reached the end of the street, I pulled the car over and broke down. My throat ached and pain rushed all through my body.
Why did life have to be so damn difficult?
I thought. First Jasmine, then LJ, and now Mackenzie.
How much more of this can a brotha take?

After sitting in the car soaking for a while, I tried to get myself together. I wanted to go back for Mackenzie, but I couldn't. Instead, I drove back to the airport and waited for my plane back to St. Louis.

On the trip home, a very attractive stewardess tried to entertain me, but I wasn't interested. She gave me her phone number. When I got to Lambert Airport, I threw it in the trash.

Nanny B had hired some fellows to put up a twelve-foot Christmas tree, which was up by the time I got home. They had decorated it with off-white and gold trimmings. When she told me they were coming, I'd had no idea it was going to look so magnificent. She had left some cookies on the table, with a note saying she was going to her sister's house and wouldn't be back until the day after Christmas. There was a number where I could reach her, and a present for me on the table with a card on top.

I lay back on the chaise, looking at the white lights on the tree as they flashed on me in the dark. Then I opened Nanny B's card and started to read:

I smiled because I'd thought her name was Brenda. When I asked her, she would always tell me to call her Nanny B, so I just assumed the B was for Brenda. Maybe because it was the name of an old girlfriend of mine.

I opened the box to find a silver-and-gold photo album laced with black velvet cloth. An old black-and-white picture of Mama and me, from when I was a baby, was on the front. Inside were pictures of my grandfather, Stephon when he was a baby, my Aunt Betty, my cousins. Even a picture of my father was in the far back. After a picture of LJ and Mackenzie, there were some blank pages, then the last page, which was a photo of Nanny B and my grandfather. I pulled it out and looked at the back, which read:

Well, I'll be damned,
I thought.
She was my grandmother?
I didn't remember much about my grandmother, but she didn't look anything like Nanny B. I knew very little about my family's history, but there was no way in hell she could be my grandmother.

Curious, I got up and ran downstairs to look through an old cedar chest I kept in a closet. When I opened it, I could tell someone had been rummaging through it because the pictures weren't as neat as I'd had them. I looked through them one by one until I found a wedding picture of my grandparents. The picture was of the grandmother I'd remembered. The back read:

I was too little then to remember. Nanny B was married to him before he married my grandmother. Question was, which one of them was my mother's mother. Had to be Nanny B because my mother was already twenty-one when my grandfather remarried in 1971.

I put the pictures next to each other; Nanny B didn't look like my mother, the other woman did. Still confused, I grabbed all the pictures and ran back upstairs. I thought I was losing my damn mind, but when I thought about who introduced me to Nanny B to begin with, it started to all make sense. Stephon's mother, my Aunt Betty, did. She told me about a nanny who did a superb job cleaning, and told me how much I could trust her.

I wanted to call Nanny B at her sister's house first, but instead, I called Stephon to see how much of this he knew about. It was early in the morning, but I desperately wanted some answers.

“Yeah,” he said, sounding asleep.

“Man, wake up.”

“Negro, I'm tired. What's up?”

“Do you know who my nanny is?”

“Jay, you ain't sleeping with your nanny, are you?”

“Naw, fool. I mean, have you ever seen her besides her being over here?”

“Uh-uh, why?”

“Because I think she's our grandmother.”

“Fool, what you over there smoking? Our grandparents were killed in a car accident, remember? Jay, I hope you ain't smoking that shit, man.”

“Naw, listen, I'm serious. Nanny B gave me a picture of her and Grandpa for my Christmas present. Well, the picture was in a photo album she gave me. Anyway, on the back, it said they were married in June, 1953. But then, there's another picture of him with our grandmother that says they were married in 1971.”

“Sounds like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Sounds to me like Grandpa had his mack on.”

“Could be . . . Definitely could be. But, uh, you've never seen Nanny B before? Especially since your mother hooked me up with her.”

“Man, I really can't say that I have. Let me think about it for a while, and if something comes up, I'll call you back. Anyway, why is this so important to you?”

“Please, Stephon. How can you ask me that? If she's our grandmother, then that explains everything.”

“Everything like what?”

“Her attachment to me. To Mackenzie, to LJ . . . Everything.”

“My love for you. My understanding you,” said a voice from behind me.

I whirled around and saw Nanny B. My heart dropped and I jumped up from the couch. “Turn the fucking lights on! Now! Jesus Christ!” Nanny B turned on the lights.

“Jay!” Stephon yelled. “You all right, man?”

“I'll call you back,” I said, and hung up on Stephon. My eyebrows rose and I looked at Nanny B. “Tell me . . . what in the fuck is going on? Who in the hell are you?”

“Sit down, Jaylin,” she asked and sat on the couch.

“I ain't sitting nowhere until I find out what the fuck is going on.”

“Please, sit down. I'll tell you everything, just have a seat.” My heart was racing as I sat next to her on the couch. She put her hand on my leg. “I was close to my sister's place, and I turned the car around thinking about how important it was for me to come back here and tell you my story.”

“What story, Nanny B, damn it what story?”

“I'm not your blood grandmother, but I was married to your grandfather in 1953. When I met him, he had two beautiful daughters, and a son, like you. He was much older than I was, but I loved him and his children more than life itself. Your grandmother had run off with some other man and left your grandfather and her kids behind. So, when he met me, I gave them all the love I could muster and someone they could look up to, even though I was only eighteen years old at the time. Your mother was my favorite. She was the oldest and was twelve years old when I met your grandfather. She was by far the prettiest child I'd ever seen.”

“Was she as pretty as me?” I smiled

“Yes, a lot prettier. Anyway, when your real grandmother decided to come back, your grandfather asked me for a divorce to marry her. I was devastated. I had given up everything for him, and I do mean everything. But there wasn't nothing I could do. He was still in love with her and I was out. When your mother and Aunt Betty had you and Stephon they would bring y'all by my house so I could see y'all, but even that soon stopped. Your grandfather threw a fit about me keeping in touch, and cut off all ties.”

“Was he that mean, Nanny B?”

“Stubborn,” she looked at me and smiled. “Just like you. So, anyway, when I found out your mother had been killed, I cried for months. Lord knows I was hurt. Since I couldn't have any children, she was like my child. All three of them were. But when I showed up at her funeral, your grandfather turned me away. He said I needed to stop interfering and move on with my life. So, that's what I did. I kept in touch with your Aunt Betty for a while, but mostly by phone. When she got herself on drugs, and I found out she lied to me about getting you out of that orphanage, I really didn't want anything to do with her. Then, one day she called and told me you were looking for a nanny. She made me promise to never tell you the truth, and begged me to look out for you like I'd looked out for them.”

“No, not Aunt Betty, Nanny B. She hated me. The things she used to do and say to me I never understood.”

“Baby, she didn't mean to hurt you. Those drugs made her a totally different person. But she was very jealous of your mother. Like Stephon is of you. They loved each other, though. Nothing could keep them apart. Your mother's death is actually what sent her over the edge.”

“But why didn't you just tell me all this before? Why tell me all of this now?”

“Because I was afraid to tell you. If I had told you a long time ago, you would have turned me away, Jaylin. You would have found no purpose for me. Now, you know what my purpose is. It's to love you, to take care of you, and to make sure you do the right things when it comes to your children.”

Thinking about how much Nanny B knew about me, I shamefully stood and walked over by the tree. “Have I disappointed you? Do you think my mother is proud of me?”

“Yes and no. You and Stephon are the spitting image of your grandfather. I watch the two of you with all these women and how disrespectful y'all can be . . . I just shake my head. But the love that you have for your children is what I'm proud of. I know your mother is proud of that too. Being in that orphanage might have hurt you, but it helped you in some ways, too. It helped you open up to children in a way you probably never would have been able to.”