Nate (A Texas Jacks Novel) (42 page)

N
ATE ENDED UP STAYING IN
the hospital for a full week, instead of only two days. The doctors felt, with the head injury he had sustained and the broken ribs, that he could use more rest before sending him home. I think they were afraid he would try to do too much on his own. By staying there, he was forced to rest and take it easy. He will need to be off work for some time, which is unfortunate, as the accident happened during a crucial time for his company. I ended up staying every night with him, though I had to work in the day. His sister and dad took a more active role during that time, for once. It seems that his father had a wakeup call, where his family is concerned.

During his hospital stay, we didn’t really get into all that had started to go wrong between us. It wasn’t the time and place to worry over such things. We decided he should focus more on his recovery before diving into the arena of all the heartache we both suffered. Though, the first night I was there, I did tell him I loved him. I’m not sure he heard me, though, and it hasn’t come up again—nor has he declared such feelings back.

He’s been home for a full three days now, and we’ve spoken on the phone, mainly. I’m trying to give him space to recover, without hovering. I’m also being a big chicken by purposefully not talking about our relationship. I know now at least that we are still intact. He seemed clear on that matter at the hospital, when he wouldn’t let me go. The real crux of it all will be if he can come to terms with having a fully committed relationship, and if he can finally let me in the rest of the way. I’m tired of this back-and-forth that we have going on. He needs to be all in with me, or not at all. I can’t continue the way we have been.

My phone rings, and I see that it’s Halley. “Hey, lady,” I greet her.

“What’s shaking?” she asks.

“Not much.”

“Have you seen Nate since he came home from the hospital?”

“I’ve gone over every day for short stays. Mainly, we talk on the phone about nothing of importance. I guess we’re both pretty good at avoiding the big elephant in the room.”

“You’re going to have to be the one who man’s up. I think he’s scared, and isn’t sure what to say at this point. Though, I know he does. He’s said as much.”

“It would be great to finally get to the bottom of our problems for the last month or so. He can’t keep me at a distance anymore. I won’t allow it. I deserve better than that, and so does he. I know where his problem stems from, but he has to know he can’t continue to live his life with so many ‘what if’s’, and not opening his heart up all the way to someone else.”

“Well, if there is anyone who can make that boy sing like a canary—it’s probably not you.” She laughs. “I’m kidding. But I do think you have something special, and if he knows your worth, he’ll do the right thing. For both of you. That I know for sure. He just feels like a jerk, and he’s really upset with himself.”

“How do you know all of this?”

“He’s been spilling the beans to his friends. Or, it’s more likely that they’ve not let up on him about what an idiot he’s been.”

“That’s not right. They need to leave him alone and let him come to his conclusions on his own.” I feel protective of Nate, and this is none of their business. If Nate wants to talk to me, he’s a big boy who can figure that out on his own.

“Oh, don’t worry about that. They really didn’t have to pry much out of him. It’s the same song and dance they’ve been having for a while now.”

“You tell your man to butt out, Halley. I’m serious. I know they care for both of us, and they want this to work out. I do, too. But this is my relationship with Nate, not theirs. He will come to me in due time. I’m growing more certain of that the more we speak.”

“Calm down, mama bear. They’re not causing him any harm. Everything is fine with the guys now. It was strained for a bit, and he just hid that part from you. They called a truce for a while, but there was still tension between them.”

“I plan to have the big talk with him by the weekend. So, what are you up to?”

“I was actually asked to see if you would go visit your favorite patient.”

“Why didn’t Nate just call or text and ask me himself?”

“You’ll have to ask
him
. I was only asked to make contact with you and get you to say yes. I was charged to do anything necessary to get you to his house.” She laughs.

“Well, gee—don’t make me feel all special or anything.” I sarcastically remark.

“Oh, relax. Go get ready, or you’re going there in whatever you have on.”

“A pajama party sounds fun right about now. We could definitely use a great distraction, one where fun and laughter are involved.”

“Stop procrastinating and get off the phone already.” She chuckles. “I’ll be there in an hour. Oh,” she says before hanging up, “and make sure you look really cute.” Then the line goes dead.

I get ready in record time and am waiting for her when she finally shows. She takes me to the guys’ place and parks in the driveway, then gets out.

“Where are you going?” I question her.

“To make sure you walk through the front door. Where else?”

“Okay, you can pipe it down already. I wasn’t going to say no.
Geez
,” I grumble.

We walk through the front door, and I’m immediately assaulted with the best aroma known to man. I’m not sure what they have in store, but the food smells fabulous. I walk in a little further and see that the dining room table is nicely set, and there are candles glowing. There are only two place settings, and I wonder who they are for. I look around for Nate, but don’t see him. I only see Holt and Tucker with big smiles on their faces as they load the table down with what looks like delicious food.

“What’s going on? And where is Nate?” I question the two men, who look like conspirators in a secret operation.

“Nate will be along shortly. He’s just cleaning up. We’re going to get ready and head out.” Tucker says, without really answering my questions.

“Where to?” I inquiry.

“We have dates with two of Vacaville’s finest women. Though, Charlie—no one is quite the cream of the crop as you are.” Holt winks.

“Are you flirting with my woman?” I hear Nate say incredulously from behind me.

I turn to see that he’s cleaned up, but still not looking any better since the accident. His bruises are yellowing, but his nose and eyes are still darkly discolored. His poor arm is in a thick, heavy cast. He walks a little further into the room, and I can tell his breathing is a bit labored as he gingerly makes his way over to me. I can only imagine the pain he’s in. He wraps his good arm around my shoulders and reels me in to him.

“Hey, little one.” He feathers a light kiss against my left cheek. “I’ve missed your beautiful face today.”

I blush at his compliment and lean into him more, while trying not to hurt his ribs any more than they already do.

“It’s good to see you up and out of bed, lazy bones,” I smile up at him.

“Someone had to get up and fend for himself since his favorite nursemaid abandoned him.” He pouts.

“Was that your plan, then? To get Halley to call me up and bring me back here for your daily routine? A little laundry, even?”

“You know me so well,” he winks down at me.

“We’re out of here, if you don’t need anything else?” Tucker says, and I’m still left in the dark.

“No, we’re good. Thank you, for all you’ve done.” He looks to each of our friends. “Try not to get arrested while you’re out getting into trouble.”

Our friends head out on that cryptic note, which leaves me alone with Nate. He guides me over to a seat and helps me into it. “Be right back.” He kisses the top of my head, and then leaves the room.

I hear the front door shut and the turn of the deadbolt before Nathan reappears and takes his own seat.

“What’s all this all about?” I question him. I’m curious as to what he has planned, and what this all means.

“I thought I would do something special for my girlfriend, but obviously I’m a gimp this week and needed help.”

“Girlfriend?” I raise a brow.

“You don’t think you are?” He furrows his right back.

“It was mentioned in the hospital, but we haven’t had that conversation yet. Even though we are exclusive, we hadn’t ever labeled what we were. What we
are
,” I amend.

“That’s a topic I would like to discuss with you—tonight.” He says sheepishly.

“Yes, we should talk about that, shouldn’t we? I think we have a lot of ground to cover.”

“You’re right, and I’m sorry about that.” He has the good grace to look ashamed.

I reach out a hand and place it on his, lightly stroking his fingers. “Well, you’ve got me here now, right? There’s no time like the present. Unless, you’d rather have a nice diner first, and then chat later?”

“That’s my girl.” He warmly smiles at me. “Thinking with her stomach, just like her man.” He winks at me.

Shaking my head at him, I laugh. “You big dork.”

My comment causes him to laugh, and breaks some of the tension I was feeling. My shoulders relax, and we start dishing up manicotti, salad, and mixed vegetables. The rest of dinner goes over smoothly, with light-hearted talk and teasing. After dinner, he leads me to the couch, where he serves chocolate pie.

“Okay, I have to say it. I know you didn’t make this pie!” I laugh. “Though it is so dang sweet and delicious.”

“Guilty as charged. I cannot tell a lie about food.”

“So, do you want to start?” I hedge. “Or should I?” I try to ask with as much tenderness as I can.

“Let me say something first.” He places his dessert on the coffee table, then takes my plate and does the same. He turns back to me and takes my hands into his. “I’ve been a real big jerk to you, and I’m sorry. I was only doing what I thought was best for my emotional wellbeing. It took me some time to finally come to terms with it. I wanted you completely, but part of me was frightened to give my whole self away.” He gazes into my eyes intently. “You understand that, right? It was never about me not wanting you. I know you must have thought that for a while, and I apologize.” I nod at his statement. “That was never my intension.”

“I know that now. I know it even more so after the night you made your drunken confession that I was never meant to hear. Do you know how badly that hurt me? I was devastated that you didn’t remember opening up to me the next morning. It only got worse when you started distancing yourself further. To be honest, Nathan, I would have never known anything was wrong or how unbalanced our relationship was until that drunken night. That’s when we started going downhill. Sure, there were some hints that were red flags—like when you wouldn’t talk about your family, which concerned me. But I was learning how to cope with that. What I really wanted was your heart—completely.” I stare back into his eyes, trying to read the thoughts forming behind them.

“Don’t you know, silly woman, that you’ve always had it? Even if I tried to pretend otherwise?” He caresses my cheek, willing me to believe him.

“I will admit, there were times I thought so, but other times told me to be cautious. Not to get my hopes up. I was learning how to handle things with what I knew about relationships, which wasn’t much. But still, I had good role models growing up, and still do, with my family.”

“Yes, you do, and you’re blessed beyond measure for it. What I wouldn’t give to have that back in my own life. We had that once, what your family has. I miss it. It’s one of the many things that drew me to you, though the seriousness of it scared me, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to go back there again. I can’t express how hard it was hearing about and watching the kind of family you have, and being reminded of my own when my mother was alive.”

“Nathan, you shouldn’t be scared to go back to something as good, loving, and wonderful as a close-knit family. In a way, you already have that with Holt and Tucker, and now with the girls and I. Don’t you know that? We
are
your family, and we deeply care for you. You should never doubt or deny those feelings.”

“You’re right, Charlie. But when you lose the glue that holds your actual family together, the one who’s the very light in your family’s eyes, it’s hard to get that feeling back. You can’t replace it. You can only hope for something as close to come along, but then when it does, you wonder if it’s a fairytale in your mind. Or if other families are truly that happy together.”

“I’m sorry you lost her. I’m even more sorry for how I found out. I wanted to know things like this, but only because you wanted to tell me, and let me into your life. That’s all I wanted, you know. To be fully allowed into your heart. After all, you’ve had mine from the start.” I shyly tell him.

“You don’t think I realized that? I’ve always known. I was just too scared of that knowledge, and the responsibility that would come with it. The last thing I ever want to do again is shut you out.” He leans over and kisses my forehead.

“Speaking of hurting me, I really don’t want to jump to conclusions, but we need to talk about the woman who I saw you with at
Texas Jacks.”

“I wish that hadn’t happened. It was worse to see than you actually think it was.”