Authors: Penelope Ward
Tags: # From the author of the #1 bestselling romance, #Jake Undone, #comes a friends-to-lovers story of longing, #passion, #betrayal and redemption…with a twist that will rip your heart out. Skylar was my best friend, #but I secretly pined for her. One thing after another kept us apart, #and I’ve spent the last decade in fear of losing her forever. First, #it was the cancer, #but she survived only to face the unthinkable at my hands. Because of me, #she left town. For years, #I thought I’d never see her again. But now she’s back…and living with him. I don’t deserve her after everything I’ve put her through, #but I can’t live without her. This is my last chance because she’s about to make the biggest mistake of her life. I can see it her eyes: she doesn’t love him. She still loves me...which is why I have to stop her before it’s too late.
watch.
“Hey, guys,” I said.
Aidan looked up, walked over and put his arm around me. “Well, that sucked! Where have you
been?”
“I ran into my friend, Mitch, and we went to grab a bite until they got you guys down.” I
gestured back to Mitch. “You guys know each other from school, right?”
Aidan smirked. “Yeah. Thanks for looking after my date.”
Mitch had daggers in his eyes. “The pleasure was all mine.”
“Ready to go? I’ll drive you home,” Aidan said.
Mitch looked over at me, and my heart broke. I knew he was conflicted about our kiss. I was
certain he was just as confused as I was right now. Neither of us expected what happened tonight.
Still, I had come here with Aidan and felt I had no choice but to leave with him. I walked
away, leaving Mitch and Davey behind. I couldn’t look at Mitch as I left.
When Aidan dropped me off at my door and tried to kiss me, I turned my face, giving him the
cheek. Between that and my disappearing act at the carnival, I was pretty sure he wouldn’t ask me
out again.
That night, I lay in bed nestled inside Mitch’s hoodie, smelling him on me and replaying our
never-ending kiss. My body was still fully aroused. I touched myself and licked my lips, imagining
that it was Mitch touching me until I came.
I couldn’t fall asleep.
If I was jealous of his seeing other girls before, now that I truly knew all that I was missing, I
couldn’t fathom how I was going to handle it.
My phone buzzed close to midnight. It was a text from Mitch.
Let me know you got home okay.
Skylar: Home in bed.
A few minutes later, my phone buzzed again.
Mitch: I’m sorry I shut down. I didn’t know what to say. And then you left with
him. I haven’t been able to think about anything else.
Skylar: I know. Me too. Don’t overthink it. It is what it is.
Mitch: It was amazing.
I had been trying to play it down. I wasn’t expecting him to say that. Since we were being
honest…
Skylar: I didn’t know a kiss could feel like that.
Mitch: It normally doesn’t.
Just when I was getting my hopes up…
Mitch: I don’t think we should do that again, okay?
My heart dropped. A sinking feeling developed at the pit of my stomach. I didn’t respond.
Mitch: It felt like I was losing control. Like I couldn’t stop myself. I don’t want to
take things too far and lose you.
He kept on.
Mitch: Do you understand what I’m saying?
A teardrop fell down my cheek. I understood where he was coming from, and a part of me
worried he was right. But that wasn’t going to change how I felt.
Skylar: Loud and clear. Goodnight.
I shut off my phone before he could respond, took off his jacket and cried myself to sleep.
CHAPTER 8
MITCH
It had been a couple of weeks since the kiss at the fairgrounds—the kiss that changed
everything. It was proof that I couldn’t trust myself with her anymore. All of the reserve I had
worked hard to build up was shattered, and it felt like I had to start all over again now.
That meant avoiding being alone with her at all costs, at least for a while. I had Davey come
over on the days Skylar and I did homework together. I had to tell him what happened that night,
and in typical Davey fashion, he busted my balls about it.
During Spanish homework one afternoon, the dickhead asked Skylar and me if we knew what
beso
meant. When she nonchalantly answered that it was the word for kiss, I wanted to throw my textbook at his head.
She was doing a good job of acting like nothing had changed between us, though, which made
it easier but also bothered me a little because for me, it was an internal struggle.
I could try and act like nothing had changed in front of her during the day, but without fail,
every night, that kiss replayed in my head. My mouth would water remembering how she tasted or
the noises that she made when I kissed her neck. I wanted so badly to experience it again or even
worse, to know what noises she’d make with me inside of her.
I had kissed a lot of girls, but it had never felt like that. Then again, I never actually had
feelings for any of them. Seeing Skylar with Aidan had triggered a primal reaction and made me
realize how deep those feelings actually ran. It was an insoluble problem: keep away from Skylar
and keep her away from other guys at the same time.
So, when you can’t figure out how to handle something stressful, create a distraction. That was
my new motto.
Skylar and her mother would be over for dinner any minute, and I had a surprise for her, one I
hoped would help ease the tension between us.
Even though it was a Friday night, I had no other plans. When the doorbell rang, my heart
started to beat faster.
Cut the shit. It’s just Skylar
.
The smell of my mother’s eggplant lasagna wafted through the house as I made my way
downstairs. The cold, fall air blasted through the door when my mother opened it.
I stood awkwardly with my hands in my pockets, trying to look nonchalant, like I hadn’t just
been fantasizing about her. “Hey Tish…Skylar,” I said.
Skylar took off her black puffer jacket. I was grateful that she had changed out of her sexy
school uniform into some sweats.
“Hey,” Skylar said before walking over to the living room where she looked through my
mother’s magazines with her legs crossed on the sofa. I loved how comfortable she was here.
“Mitch, your mother told me about all of the A’s you’ve been getting lately,” Tish said.
“Yeah, well, gotta focus my energy on something. Might as well be school.”
“Well, keep up the good work.”
“Thanks.”
That was another thing. I’d been diving head first into my schoolwork in an attempt to
transfer my focus onto something other than what happened with Skylar. Apparently, it was
paying off.
She was being uncharacteristically quiet tonight and hadn’t said anything since they walked in
the door. As we sat down to eat, my mother broke the silence.
“So, what are you guys doing for Thanksgiving?”
“Well, Oliver wants Skylar to spend it with him and his beautiful bride down in Florida.”
My mother put down her fork. “Beautiful
bride
?”
“You heard me.” Tish took a long sip of her wine.
“They got
married
?”
“Apparently, they went to a justice of the peace in the city last week. We just found out when
he called about an hour ago. They’re doing a little ceremony down in Miami with her family over
Thanksgiving, and they want Skylar to fly down.”
Shit. That’s why she was being quiet.
I looked over at her until she would look at me. The disappointment in her eyes was palpable. I
hated seeing her upset. She very rarely let things get to her.
My rock.
Skylar went to visit her father in Brooklyn about one weekend a month. She wasn’t crazy about
spending any long amount of time with him, but he was way more involved in her life than my
father was in mine. Still, it freaked me out sometimes how similar our family situations were.
While Skylar’s Dad didn’t leave Tish for another woman specifically, he hadn’t exactly been
faithful, either. He’d only had one serious girlfriend since the divorce and recently moved in with her. She was apparently now his wife.
My mother turned to Skylar. “Honey, are you okay with all this?”
She wiped her mouth with a napkin then threw it down. “Am I okay with Oliver marrying
titanium tits? Sure…whatever. But am I okay with him casually calling to tell us about it
after
the fact, like he was announcing what he had for breakfast? No. I’m not okay with that.” She got up
from the table abruptly. “Excuse me.”
I got up a minute later and found her in the living room where she was standing by the
window. It was still early in the evening, but it was already dark out.
“Hey…you okay?”
She turned around to look at me before returning her gaze to the rain that had started to fall
outside. “It’s not even about me. I’m mad for my Mom. My parents were together for fifteen years.
She’s acting like this doesn’t bother her, but I know it does. I always tell myself they’re better off apart, but God, this must sting. She hasn’t even dated anyone, and he elopes with the first serious girlfriend he gets and acts like it’s nothing. It’s the lack of respect that gets me. She just doesn’t want it to show, but she’s hurting right now.”
She was more concerned with her mother’s feelings than her own. Typical Skylar.
I wanted to hug her. A few weeks ago, I might have, but now, I really needed to refrain from
touching her. “I wish I could say something that would help. But only time usually fixes these
things. You know I understand.”
She turned to me. “Yeah…out of everyone…I know you do.”
“Don’t let Oliver’s dumb decisions ruin your weekend. Your mom will be okay. She has my
mother now, who definitely knows what she’s going through, and she’s damn lucky to have a
daughter who cares about her so much.”
She finally cracked a smile. “Why are you home on a Friday night anyway? I figured you’d be
out with the girl of the week.”
“I decided to stay in for a change and…” I hesitated.
“And?”
“So…I kind of have something that might cheer you up. It’s sort of an early birthday gift.”
Skylar squinted her eyes suspiciously. “What are you talking about?”
“Come with me.”
Come with me? Really? Nice word choice.
She followed me through the kitchen past our mothers who were now polishing off the bottle
of wine. My heart was racing in anticipation as we walked up the carpeted stairs to my room.
The look on her face when the door opened was priceless. Where was Angie and her camera
when you needed her?
“Seamus?!”
She rushed over to the cage in the corner of the room. The parrot flapped his wings excitedly
and tilted his head repeatedly like he recognized her.
“Holy Toledo!”
I laughed because it was the first time he used his signature phrase since we left the pet store
earlier. Figures, he would show off for her.
“I’ve been hiding him in here all day. I got lucky because he was quiet all throughout dinner
and didn’t ruin the surprise.”
“You…you
bought
him?” She looked back at me in disbelief.
“Holy Toledo!”
“Yup. He’s ours.”
“How…did you afford it? He’s expensive!”
“I put him on layaway.”
“They have that for birds?”
“The store employees knew how much you loved him, and when I told them I wanted to buy
him for you, they worked with me. I’ve been saving and paying in installments every week since he
was returned to the store. They held him until this afternoon when I picked him up.”
The only other time I had ever seen Skylar cry was when I left town as a kid. But now, her eyes
were filling with happy tears, and I wasn’t sure how to react. I just knew that being the one
responsible for making her happy made me giddy.
“This is the best gift anyone has ever given me.”
I kept my hands in my pockets to squelch the urge to hug her and to discourage her from
coming near me. “I was thinking I’d keep him here for you. I know you say you’re a light sleeper. I think I can sleep through anything. They said he could get kind of noisy when he gets
temperamental. I got him this special breathable blanket to throw over the cage at night, to teach
him to sleep on my schedule. He needs it dark to sleep.”
“Holy Toledo!”
“Can I take him out?”
“He’s yours. Do whatever you want.”
She carefully opened the cage and lifted him out onto her finger. “Hey, buddy. Remember me?
Guess what? You’re mine now. I can’t believe it. I love you. Yes, I do. I love you so much.” She
kissed his beak and continued whispering sweet nothings.
Lucky-ass bird.
You’re mine now. I love you.
I closed my eyes for a second, pretending that she was saying those things to me. Damn bird was supposed to distract from my feelings, not enhance them.
Seamus’ wings were flapping like crazy now. We actually only guessed on his gender, but
something told me he was definitely all male.
“Holy Toledo.”
***
My mother walked into my room about two in the morning. “Did you get a dog for her, too?
What the hell is going on?”
I had my pillow wrapped around my head. “No! This thing just started barking out of
nowhere.”
“Apparently, he misses his old stomping grounds,” she joked.
I threw the pillow in frustration. “What the hell do I do?”
“Well, you can’t exactly return him.”
“No. I couldn’t do that to Skylar.”
My mother sat at the foot of my bed and laughed, “You would do anything for that girl,
wouldn’t you?”
“Mom…” I said, dismissively.
I hadn’t discussed my feelings for Skylar with my mother, and I certainly wasn’t going to get
into it in the middle of the night with a barking parrot.
“Okay. We’ll have to do some internet research on how to get him to stop. In the meantime, I’ll
put some earplugs in.”
I returned the pillow to my ears as my mother left the room.