Authors: Kim Law
chapter thirty
T
wo and a half weeks later, Dani, Haley, and Jenna were in the den at Ben’s house while Ben had disappeared upstairs to his bedroom. Both girls were out of school for the holiday break, and Ben had offered to bring Jenna to the house for a few days, to allow the friends to spend some time together. Thus, the four of them had just returned from LA where they’d visited Ben’s mother before heading to Disneyland. Haley had never been to the park, and since Jenna wasn’t getting her Christmas trip to New York, they’d all spent the past two days riding rides and hanging out with princesses.
It had been fun. But exhausting.
Now they were back in Montana, with Gabe and Michelle planning to arrive the following week for their dad’s wedding, and once again, everyone would be home at the same time. This time for Christmas. Dani couldn’t wait to see them all.
“When’s Daddy gonna get done?” Haley complained from her spot in front of the fireplace. Ben was unpacking clothes he’d recently had shipped from California, and making sure he had a suit to wear to the wedding.
“He’ll be down soon,” Dani answered. She closed the top of her laptop, deciding work could wait, and took in both girls with their newly purchased Cinderella dolls—including pumpkin carriage and glass slippers—spread out all over the floor. “Did you need him for something?”
“We need him to be our prince,” Jenna replied, holding up the prince doll.
The girls had talked Ben into purchasing pretty much every Cinderella accessory available while at Disneyland, including a tall, dark, and handsome prince.
“How about if I be the prince?” Dani asked. She rose from the sofa and moved across the room.
“You can’t be a prince, Miss Dani,” Haley said. “You’re a girl. You’re a princess.”
Dani chuckled. “I guess I am. But I could pretend until your daddy gets back.”
Haley and her dad were close these days, and though Dani never felt like a third wheel, she was always aware that she wasn’t yet an official part of their family. But Ben had promised her that day would come. She just had to be patient.
And though it had been less than three weeks, her patience was wearing thin.
They saw each other every day, their connection was as strong as ever, and she had no doubt he was the love of her life. She wanted to marry that man, and soon.
As in, today, if they could make it happen.
But instead of marrying her prince, she would play one with the girls.
She lowered to the floor, and the three of them began acting out the fairy tale. Haley and Jenna took turns being the evil stepsisters—as well as being Cinderella—and Dani deepened her voice an octave and became the handsome prince.
As they played, she watched both girls that she loved so much. LA had been good for Jenna, if for no other reason than it had brought her and her daddy closer together.
It might not save her brother’s marriage, but it had given him his daughter.
“What did you ask Santa for Christmas?” Dani asked them both.
Jenna looked up from dancing Cinderella around the ballroom floor with the prince. “More dolls,” she said. “I need more princesses and princes.”
“Me too,” Haley agreed. Then the girl bit her lip and sent Dani an angelic smile. “I wanted to ask for a new mommy, but I already have you.”
“Awww, sweetie.” Dani’s heart soared. She stood and circled the toys to pick up Ben’s daughter, and hugged her tight. As she squeezed the little girl, her gaze landed on the photo Ben had framed and placed on the mantel. It was of her from years ago, lying on the dock late at night. He claimed it was his favorite picture.
The clock beside it began to chime—it was noon—and Jenna gasped from the floor.
“Cinderella has to leave the ball before her carriage turns into a pumpkin.” Jenna hurriedly ran the doll to the carriage while Dani and Haley watched from above.
And then Haley sucked in a sharp breath.
Dani lifted her gaze at the sound to find Ben standing in the doorway, all tall and hot in a sexy tailored suit, and she completely lost her breath herself. He was magnificent.
“Daddy, you look like a prince.”
Ben smiled, the smile that made Dani squeeze her thighs together, and he crossed the room as the clock continued to chime. In the story, time was running out, but as Dani stood there looking at the man she loved, with his daughter snuggled in her arms, she knew that their time was only just beginning. They had the rest of their lives to be together.
He stopped in front of them. “What do you think?” he asked Dani. “Do I look prince-like?”
She slowly nodded—while her thoughts went way past naughty. With the trip to California, they’d had precious little alone time lately, and she could sorely use some. She so wished the girls weren’t in the room at that moment.
“Very much so,” she murmured. She needed to get that man alone.
From the gleam in his eyes she could tell that he knew exactly what she was thinking.
“Good.” He took her hand in his and kissed her fingers, one at a time, and Haley giggled in her arms. Montana let out a bark, and Jenna put down her dolls to watch.
Then Ben dropped to one knee and pulled out a ring.
“He
is
a prince,” Jenna whispered.
Ben looked up at Dani then, love shining from his eyes. “What do you say, babe? Will you be my princess? I know it’s only been a few weeks, but I can’t wait any longer. I love you. No more living in town in that tiny little apartment. I want you here with me. Where you belong. Will you marry me, and be mine and Haley’s forever?”
Haley held her breath, and Jenna froze in her spot on the floor. Dani could sense their anticipatory gazes, but neither said a word. They wanted to see the fairy tale come true.
So did Dani.
Instead of answering, she put Haley down, then she lowered to her own knees and faced Ben. She cupped his jaw in her hands, and kissed him tenderly, his touch filling her with love and promises, and she knew that she could never be luckier.
She’d found herself, as well as the man of her dreams.
“I love you,” she told him when they pulled apart. “A love as huge as the Montana sky we sit together and look at every night. And yes, Ben. The man of my dreams. I’ll marry you. I’ll be your wife, your princess. I’ll be whatever you need me to be. I’m yours. For the rest of our lives.”
“I just need you to be you.”
She nodded. She could do that.
She would do that with pleasure.
Holding out a trembling hand, she gazed on as Ben slipped an incredibly huge diamond on her finger. She took it in, kissed him one more time for good measure, and turned her gaze to the kids.
They smiled with bright anticipation in their eyes, but for once, they were speechless.
“Looks like I already got what
I
want for Christmas,” Dani told them. She winked at the girls, and kissed Ben once more. “I got my prince.”
Acknowledgments
This book was originally written back in 2011, and in its first iteration it was shorter, simpler, and . . . just okay. Then my agent sold it, and I quickly had to make it longer, more complex, and . . . much better! The speed with which this had to be done caused me great heartburn (and I suspect before it was done my agent had some of her own), along with a huge loss of sleep. But in the end, I love this book. I love the setting, the family, and I love the drama. And yes, I did eventually get some sleep.
Thanks to Nalini Akolekar for selling the book, to Maria Gomez for buying the book, to Chuck Henry for letting me know there were cherry orchards in Montana, to Keena Kincaid for walking long distances on the beach to help me figure out what I wanted to do to make it “bigger,” and to Anne Marie Becker and June Love for participating in last-minute brainstorming to help me get the final scenes just right (when my brain was too tired and I couldn’t do it myself!).
And a special thanks—the most important thanks—to my copy editor, Diane Sepanski, for going above and beyond to help me get this story just right. You know what having you work on this book meant to me, so I won’t go into it here. But thank you. A million times thank you. And huge, huge hugs. I’m sending you a gorgeous bouquet of flowers (in my head) right this very moment. I hope you enjoy them!
As I said, I love this book. It’s special to me for a number of reasons, and my fingers are crossed that readers will love it, too. But mostly, I hope this book touches someone who needs to know that they’re not alone.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is real, and doesn’t always get the attention it needs. People are damaged by the words and actions of a parent or loved one, and they may never understand why. Adult children who’ve lived with this disorder may continue to wonder for their entire lives if it’s just them. Did they do something wrong? They may always assume it’s
their
fault.
But it’s not. And you’re not alone.
You’re a survivor.
You got dealt a rotten hand in life.
But you
can
move on.
There are resources available on the Internet and books on this subject in libraries and bookstores. I urge you to read up on this disorder whether you think this is something you’ve lived with, personally, or not. You might discover a piece of information that’s the key to helping a friend. A nugget that’ll make him or her suddenly not feel so alone in the world.
And you might discover a wealth of information to help
you
.
I felt drawn to write this book, and I can’t even explain why. But my sincere hope is that it’ll shed light on a disorder that is still relatively untalked about. Women—men—should not feel they’ve done something wrong to be undeserving of a parent’s love. They shouldn’t have to suffer because someone else didn’t have the capacity to love them.
One last note: Due to the length of time that can realistically be covered in a romance novel, Dani’s recovery period in this book was portrayed at a speed which, for most, would be unattainable. (Additionally, NPD often engenders a family fracturing that was beyond the scope of this novel.) As I stressed in the book, recovery is a lifetime journey, and simply getting to Dani’s level of function would likely take well more than a few months. There are many steps to work through in the process. And many setbacks to be expected along the way. But with determination and the healthy willingness to face your hurts, it can be the best path you’ve ever traveled.
For more information on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, an excellent book to read is
Will I Ever Be Good Enough?
by Karyl McBride, Ph.D. Additionally, included is a short list of websites referenced during the writing of this book:
http://www.narcissisticmother.com
About the Author
Photo © 2012 Amelia Moore
As a child, award-winning author Kim Law cultivated a love for chocolate, anything purple, and creative writing. She penned her debut work, “The Gigantic Talking Raisin,” in the sixth grade and got hooked on the delights of creating stories. Before settling into the writing life, however, she earned a college degree in mathematics and worked for years as a computer programmer. Now she’s living out her lifelong dream of writing romance novels. She’s won the Romance Writers of America’s Golden Heart Award, been a finalist for the prestigious RWA RITA Award, and served in varied positions for her local RWA chapter. A native of Kentucky, Kim lives with her husband and an assortment of animals in Middle Tennessee.