Midnight Shadows (35 page)

Gently, oh so very tenderly, he kissed her, tasting, savoring, cherishing. This woman who meant everything to him would be his wife. His partner in life, the mother of his children. His…for always.

“I thought, maybe, if you want to, we could go see your family tomorrow.”

Those words confirmed everything. She was all in.

“You ready for a thousand hugs, kisses, and at least a dozen inappropriate jokes?”

“Can’t think of anything I’d like better.”

“Oh yeah?” he whispered. “How about this?” And then he kissed her again, this time with all the pent up desire and love he’d held back for far too long.

As his hands roamed over creamy skin and satin curves, Sabrina’s hands became equally busy divesting him of his shirt and jeans. Seconds later they were skin to skin, heat to heat.

His mouth covering her in kisses in every place he could reach, he warned, “I can’t go slow…not this first time. I’ve missed you too damn much. Want you…” He licked a taut, coral nipple, drew it into his mouth.

“No, don’t go slow.” She bit his earlobe, her hands roaming everywhere they could reach. “Take me fast…hard and deep. Take me now.”

“Put your arms and legs around me and hang on tight.”

As she complied, he hooked his arms under her legs, spreading her wider. Taking two steps to the closest hard surface, he pressed her against the wall and pushed in deep. They both groaned at the connection.

This was perfect—all she could have asked for and so much more. Her face buried against his neck, Sabrina tightened her legs around Ian’s waist and let him take her harder than he ever had before. It was as if he couldn’t go deep enough, get his fill of her. She loved it.

Riding him furiously, she crossed the finish line much quicker than she ever anticipated as climax crashed down upon her and ecstasy erupted.

With a loud groan, Ian followed seconds later,

Breathless and happier than she ever thought was possible, she pressed a kiss to his shoulder, wincing as she noticed the teeth marks in his skin. Kissing the small wound, she inhaled the scents of musky sex and virile man. Life simply could not get better than this.

Biting her earlobe in a tender nibble, Ian growled softly, “Let’s go to bed and do this all over again. This time, real slow.”

Okay she was wrong. Life could get better.

Chapter Thirty-four

Ian held her close, savoring her sweet softness. How many times had he dreamed this? Of Sabrina showing up, throwing herself in his arms and declaring her love? Dozens. But none of those dreams came close to the reality.

As he listened to her words, her explanation of the pain she had endured for nineteen years, he couldn’t help but be humbled by this amazing woman he adored. What courage she had to face her pain and darkness.

“So anyway, after blubbering to my sisters and finally owning up to what I’d kept from them for years, I felt much better.”

“And did they help you to understand you weren’t responsible?”

“They tried, but I wasn’t there yet. Just knowing they didn’t hate me helped a lot, though.”

“Oh baby, they couldn’t hate you. Not in a million years. You did something thousands of kids have done. Most of them either forget about it or have a chance to apologize and make it right. You weren’t able to do that so it seemed magnified.”

“I guess you’re right. I’ll spend the rest of my life wishing those hadn’t been my last words to my mom, but I remember all the times I told her how much I loved her. I hope that’s what she remembered and not my petty juvenile rant.”

“I’m sure she did.”

“Thanks to Aunt Gibby, I think she did, too.”

“Really?”

“She told me that mama told her what I did and she…” Her voice went husky. “That she actually laughed about it. Said I was so much like my dad.”

“That’s got to make you feel better.”

“It does. I was so worried that what I said was the reason she was upset that night. Turns out she was missing us and then my dad did something stupid, pissing her off.”

Ian gathered her closer in his arms. It hurt him that she’d carried this around with her all this time. “Why didn’t you talk to somebody about it?”

“Like who, Ian? I couldn’t tell my sisters. How do you tell the people you love most in the world that you feel responsible for something like this? I was so ashamed.”

“And that’s why couldn’t you tell me?”

“I guess that seems silly. I—”

“No sweetheart, it’s not silly. You were hurting. And it hurts me to know that and not have been there for you.”

“But you were, Ian. All those nights I woke up crying and you held me. All those times I did stupid things that almost got me killed. You saved my life and my sanity too many times to count.”

“And the nightmares? They’re better?”

“Mostly. I’ve had an occasional one…nothing like before, though. My doctor said they should eventually go away for good.”

“Doctor?”

“I took your advice and got some help.”

He kissed her for her bravery. “I know that was difficult.”

“With my history of sharing?” She snorted softly. “It was a piece of cake. I was through with my first session in five minutes flat. My doctor, on the other hand, insisted on the full hour. He let me talk about whatever I wanted to, which I took full advantage of.” She snorted again, this time in disgust. “Guy’s not even a football fan.”

“And you still tolerated him? Imagine that. Did you set him straight?”

“Tried to. He’s from Indiana, where basketball rules, so I cut him some slack. I eventually ran out of subjects to procrastinate with and started talking about the deep stuff.”

“Do you know how incredible you are?” He kissed her again, softly, thoroughly. And then he knew he could wait no longer. Rolling away from her, he went to his feet. “I have something for you. Be right back.”

Sabrina watched a deliciously nude Ian until he disappeared out the door and then snuggled back into her pillow with a happy sigh. She could not think of any time in her life when she’d been this happy or content. And it was all due to Ian. His love and patience had outlasted her sheer stubbornness.
 

“I kept a carton in the freezer just in case.” In his hand was a half-gallon carton of her number one food weakness—fudge ripple ice cream.

“My hero.” Laughing, Sabrina sat up and rearranged the pillows for them.

He handed her the carton and a large spoon, then scooted back under the covers with her. She dipped out a large bite and held it out for him. As his lips closed around the spoon and he made a groaning sound, a flush of heat swept over her. Only moments before his mouth had closed over her nipple in just that way and they had both made a similar sound of pleasure.

Risking brain freeze, Sabrina took a giant size bite of ice cream to cool herself down.
 

“Good?”

Unable to speak, she rolled her eyes in ecstasy.
 

“I have something else for you.”

Swallowing the last of her spoonful, she shook her head. “Nothing could get better than this.”

When she noticed the nervousness on his face, she sobered up. Ian never got nervous.

“What it is?”

He took her hand and placed something in her palm. She looked down to see the most exquisite ring she could ever imagine. Only those who knew her best were aware that she adored vintage jewelry. Trust Ian to know exactly the kind of engagement ring to buy.

“Oh Ian, it’s absolutely the most perfect, loveliest ring I’ve ever seen.”

“I’ve had it a while. Wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to give it to you, but I knew there would never be anyone else I’d ever want to give a ring to, so I kept it. Just in case.”

“I couldn’t imagine anything more beautiful. When did you get it?”

His self-conscious laugh brought her head up.
 

“I’m almost embarrassed to tell you.”

“Now I’m really intrigued. So when did you get it?”
 

“Remember the Sanderson case?”

“Of course I do. That was our first case together.”

“Remember we went to Key West to interview that witness?”

“Yes, Sanderson’s ex-wife.”

“You went back to the hotel to work out. And I took a little detour to see an old friend who deals in rare and antique jewelry.”

She was shaking her head before he could finish. “That’s not possible, Ian. We had only known each other a few weeks. We hadn’t even slept together. Hell, we hadn’t even kissed.”

“No, but I knew what I wanted.”

Tears filled her eyes before she could control them. Any other time she would have worked like hell to rein in her emotions. But as her doctor had told her and she was realizing more and more—showing the depth of her feelings was not a weakness. And she didn’t mind that Ian knew how very touched she was by his confession.

“Oh baby, no. Don’t cry.”
 

The panic on his face lightened the moment, and she laughed. “These are happy tears.” She sniffed indelicately. “I’ve not shown you too many of those.”

“As long as they’re happy tears, you can cry all you want. I never want to be responsible for making you cry from sadness.”

Needing to be back in his arms, Sabrina placed the ice cream carton on the table beside her and turned back to him. She wrapped her arms around him, held him tight. “I love you, Ian Mackenzie. You’re everything I could have ever dreamed of and so much more.”

His answer was a corresponding hard squeeze. “You don’t know how I’ve longed to hear you say those three words. I love you more than anyone or anything in the world and if you’ll have me, I’ll spend the rest of my days making sure you never doubt my love.”

Drawing him down with her onto the pillows, Sabrina proceeded to show him with her body what she felt in her heart. Of all the doubts she’d had in her life, Ian’s love wasn’t one of them. She had always known she had it—even when she knew she hadn’t deserved it.
 

Her mouth whispered soft brief kisses on his face. Ian moved his head and tried to catch her mouth with his. Sabrina laughed softly, avoiding him. She had an agenda.

“Are you going to torture me?”

“Oh yes, my darling Ian. I most certainly am.”

Dropping his head back onto the pillow, Ian growled, “Then have your way with me, woman.”

“My pleasure.” And it was.

The kisses continued, trailing to his neck, down his beautiful chest, to the hard planes of his stomach. When his breath hitched and his body stiffened, she smiled her delight. The man had issued a challenge and he knew better than anyone that Sabrina Wilde never backed down.

She licked a particularly intriguing indention just above his hipbone and was delighted when he caught his breath again.
 

Her fingers lightly, gently skimmed the hottest, hardest part of him and as his entire body went still and stiff, she looked up at his face. Though his eyes were half closed, she saw the glimmering heat in their depths and despite the rigid control he was forcing himself to maintain, a small smile played around his mouth.

“What are you smiling about?”

“You.”

She tilted her head. “Me?”

“I see you.”

She glanced down at her very naked self and laughed. “Yep. This is me.”

He shook his head. “No, sweetheart. All of you. Your heart, your beauty. That indestructible, courageous spirit. It’s all there for me to see. Nothing’s hidden. Everything you are…it’s mine.”

Months ago he had said he wanted all of her…not just the parts she was willing to give. And she realized he was right. She was offering all of herself to him. This man who had offered all of himself to her long ago. Ian had seen the very worst of her and loved her.
 

“Thank you for loving me, Ian. All of me.” She lowered her head, blew softly on the steely length in her hand. “Now, let me love all of you.” And she took him in her mouth.

Ian groaned and arched his body. Knowing it would drive him crazy and increase his pleasure, she deliberately swallowed, then relaxed her throat, enabling her to take him even deeper. And when he groaned again, she did, too.

“You win,” he gasped. “I’m toast. I’m…done for. I’m—”

She raised her head, releasing him. “Not through.”

Straddling his hips, she held him in her hands and brought him to her. They both watched as he disappeared inside her, and the moment he seated himself deep, Sabrina closed her eyes, relishing the connection. This hot, hard male part of him that could give such pleasure. Pleasure she only ever wanted from this man. Her one and only love.

With a half curse, half laugh, he lost control. Grabbing her hips, he pushed her down hard onto him, brought her back up and repeated the motion over and over. Heat washed over Sabrina as her orgasm gathered like a thundering, violent storm in her body. The tingle began in her toes, zipped through every part of her body. Losing herself in Ian…in the way he loved her, was the most exquisite ecstasy in the world. As she gave herself up to the glory of his lovemaking, she gave herself to him, wholly, completely, and forever.