Meanmna: Book One of the Daearen Realms (6 page)

Mom
put a bowl with two scoops of butter pecan ice cream in front of me and went back to get herself some.

With her back turned
to me, she said, “I am sorry for not telling you the whole truth. I hope that one day you can forgive me.” She tossed the empty ice cream container in the recycling bin and came to sit down. “Everything I have told you about your father is true. I spent the summer before my senior year of college in Tennessee working on my dissertation. It was a
Saturday
about two weeks into my field work when I went spelunking.”

“Wait, wait, wait! T
his part is new. I didn’t know you were a spelunker.”

“I guess I forgot to mention that
part. Anyway, I liked to take my time. The rope from me to the guy in front of me was sixty feet long. I was pretty much by myself when I noticed a faint glow in a crevasse off to the side of the main cave. That’s where I found the crystal. It was so beautiful and I had never seen anything like it. I knew it was an amazonite but it didn’t belong there. The heft was inconsistent with the size, the planes of cleavage indiscernible. I figured I had something special, so I didn’t tell my group. I just tucked it into my bag for later inspection.” She wistfully looked past me as if she was someplace far away.

“
When the group was done, they left and I stayed to do some cataloging of the samples I had taken. I also wanted to take a closer look at the strange stone. Outside in the light, the stone seemed to shimmer and alternate from a transparent crystal to an opaque stone, a quality I have yet to see documented in any textbook. After slogging through the recording of information and cataloging the samples, something drew my attention from the task at hand. I thought it was someone from the group coming back to get me, but it was your father. He walked out of the cave and approached me.” Mom looked at me compassionately. “The rest of the story I have told you is true; we did immediately fall in love. We talked together for a couple of hours and that was that; we were rarely apart after that moment. It was nearly the end of summer and my work. Your father was planning to move to Michigan with me and we had plans for a future together. We did everything that summer, a summer I will never forget.

“
One night we were laughing and planning the rest of our lives together when he doubled over in pain. He said it felt like his heart was ripped in two. He was gasping for breath, disoriented, but he was screaming and begging me not to call 911. He stumbled to the door, opened it, and collapsed. I couldn’t move because of what I saw next. A brilliant red dragonfly flew in and landed on his chest. He was yelling at the dragonfly, talking to it as though it could understand his pleas. ‘What’s wrong? What happened?’ he groaned. It was almost more than I could take. The sound of this man, the man I loved, crying and begging a bug for news. I was beginning to wonder whether he was insane when suddenly the dragonfly changed into a Fire Fey right in front of me.” Mom looked at me. “Do I need to explain a Fire Fey?”

“
No, please continue,” I said.

“
I was completely lost, confused by what most people would call a delusion. I had witnessed a firefly turn into a person-like thing. I could see this creature and Roland talking to one another, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. It was like I was in a vacuum that couldn’t transmit sound. My mind was reeling and I was so off-kilter that I didn’t notice the fey had left. Normal sound returned. I heard the door slam—that snapped me back to reality. Your father’s face had a look of resignation and pride that I can’t explain. I instinctively knew he was leaving, and I was losing my true love. He explained everything about his world, his role, and his need to go home. I think Elwin should explain those particulars since he knows far more than I do. Okay?” I nodded and Mom continued. “Roland should have gone back right then, but he stayed a little longer. That night at sunset, we pledged ourselves to one another and performed a binding ceremony. We had one night together as man and wife in this realm. The next morning I watched him walk into the cave and disappear from this world.” Mom got up, grabbed the bowls, and put them in the sink.

“Elwin said
that you see Dad in your dreams.”

“Yes, w
ith the amazonite crystal I can see your father in a dream state, but that’s the only way I can see him. When we found out about you he wanted to come back, but he couldn’t leave. The people in both our worlds needed the leadership and balance he could provide. He needed to stay on the throne or life as we know it would dramatically change. I couldn’t let that happen. We knew you would need to join him one day, but we wanted you to have this life, too.

“
I know it’s a lot, but you and I will still be able to see each other. I’m not abandoning you; I’d never do that. I have already asked Elwin to secure a lavakite crystal so you and I can still see each other in a dream state.”

“
I don’t want to see you only when I’m dreaming. This is so unfair!” My stomach dropped into a pit as I thought about a new life without having my mom downstairs or just a text message away. My destiny had already been decided and I had no choice in the matter.

“There
is one more detail that you should know. Once you arrive at your castle, Meanmna, you will have to choose your mate before you can ascend the throne—”

“Wait!
What? I am expected to choose a mate? Like right away, get married?”

“Once you do
and you’re settled and have spent some time with your father, he can come back here.” Mom looked sad but calm and clearly wanted to hear that I was okay with all of this.

Mom
had seventeen years to prepare for this moment—I’d only had one day. It was so unfair. I was fighting back tears and started to feel a tightening of my chest. I closed my eyes tight, wrapped my arms around my waist, and tried to regulate my breathing. I kept my eyes closed when Mom started talking again.

“Sarette, I am sorry this is such a shock.
I have dreaded this day since I found out I was pregnant. Maybe we should have told you sooner, but we wanted you to have as much of a normal life as possible. I’m sorry that this is unfair, but it is what it is. I think that’s the real reason I didn’t tell you sooner, we can’t fight fate. I will no longer omit anything, Sarette. I’m excited to have my husband back. I would give anything if the three of us had just a little time together; but that can never happen. He will be able to come back to me once you and your mate become king and queen. Would I choose for you to get married at eighteen? No. But, I have no doubt you will find your mate once you reach Meanmna. I wish I could watch you fall in love.”

I opened my eyes and looked at my mother for what felt like the first time, heartbroken and happy all at the same time. I reached over and grabbed her hand.

Mom squeezed my hand and said, “I wish we had some choices in all of this, but we don’t. This is so much bigger than the three of us. I do not expect you to be completely okay with this situation. If there is anything I can answer for you, I will; do you have any questions right now? Or do you need to process?”

“I need to process.”

“Well, you can process, but we have a lot to do. Perhaps you shouldn’t see Elwin tomorrow for training. We need some gear for your journey. We could go in the morning. We can have breakfast in town then go to Cabela’s. We should be able to get almost everything there, and then we can grab lunch in Dundee. Also, you should see if you can push up the birthday date for tomorrow afternoon.”

“
Do you really think that’s necessary?” I said, hearing the pleading tone in my voice. “Our birthday is
next Sunday
, that’s only one week away. There’s no way I’ll be trained by then. Don’t you think I can wait to leave until after that?”

“
No. Sorry, honey, but I don’t. I can’t train you for anything, but I can shop, so that’s what we’ll do tomorrow.” Mom seemed unmoved by the enormous amount of emotional pain that was welling up inside me. “Text Mathew right away. You shouldn’t wait to say goodbye. You will have to leave when it’s time and not a second sooner or later.”

“
What about Mama? What am I going to say to her?” I felt the tears starting to trickle down my face.

“
I’ll take care of Mama. It’s my turn for family dinner tomorrow; we will break the news to her then.”

Our Sunday dinners
were usually just the four of us, unless Mama brought a date, which was always a little awkward. I hoped this would not be one of those occasions. I could not imagine having to say goodbye to my family while a stranger was sitting at the table with us.

“
Dinner is at six, like normal,” Mom reminded me. “Why don’t you see if Elwin would like to come? Perhaps a demonstration or two will help with the non-believers among us. I think I’m going to leave you to process.”

Mom
smiled. I could see tears in her eyes as she kissed me on the head and gave me a big bear hug that I never wanted to end. She walked into her bedroom, shut the door behind her, and started sobbing. Choking back my own tears, I loaded the dishwasher and headed upstairs.

I texted Mathew as soon as I got to my room:

Sarette: Need to push up birthday to tomorrow, does that totally screw up your plans?

Mat
hew: Not really. What’s wrong?

Sarette:
Tell you tomorrow. Mom’s taking me to Cabelas & lunch. I’ll text when I get home

Mathew:
Going camping?

Sarette: Not so much

Mathew: Non-committal answers worry me

Sarette:
No worries--we’ll talk tomorrow

Mathew:
Text me. Love ya

Sarette:
Love ya 2

I debated asking Ma
thew to come right over and talk about all this, but I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t believe I had to find a mate and get married, like now. It was a good thing I had someone in mind. Elwin had said I was his “job”, but his eyes told a different story. I really needed to see him.

I put my phone down and
walked over to the crystals on my desk, waving my hand over both of them. I felt a buzz over the second one, so I placed it gently on my nightstand. Elwin said if I fell asleep with the larger piece of the amazonite I’d go to the dream plane. He hadn’t told me anything else, though, like what I would show up wearing. The first time I saw Elwin in my dream I was wearing a dress—and I hadn’t chosen my attire. But the second time I was wearing my own clothes. I decided to put on my cutest pajamas just in case this worked and I ended up on the beach. I dug to the bottom of my dresser drawer and found the black, silky, never-worn pajamas Mom had bought me on sale. The one-piece jumper had spaghetti straps, buttons down the front and a red ribbon tie at the waist. It had never been my style, but now I pulled off the tags and slipped into it, enjoying the feel of the material against my skin. 
But how do I look in it?
When I stood before the mirror, I was pleasantly surprised. It showed off my small waist and flared gently about my hips like a little skirt, even though it was actually shorts that hit about mid-thigh. The V-cut top didn’t show much, but still looked sexy. I knew I was trying too hard, but how was I supposed to get ready to be a princess? I just couldn’t see myself running around a castle in boxers and a braless tank.

I
left my necklace on—it really showed off my pale skin and I had already decided I would never take it off. I brushed my hair and talked myself out of putting on makeup before I climbed into bed. I was likely doing all this for nothing. After all, Elwin was clearly not interested in me personally. I’m his job! How many different times and ways had he said that? “Grrr!” I grabbed the Hello Kitty pillow and put it over my face, muffling the sound of my frustration. “Screw it!” I rolled to my side and looked at the crystal. As I reached to turn out the lamp, my hand gently skimmed the surface of the crystal and I felt the buzz again. Ignoring it, I closed my eyes and tried to calm my racing mind.

Tomorrow
would be a big shopping day; Mom was taking me to Cabela’s outfitters store. I hoped I was not going camping in fey land. That would suck. And poor Mathew. What would I tell him? My life as I knew it was coming to an abrupt halt. Would it still be necessary to write that article for the paper? Would there be a GED program in la-la land? Would I even need to go to school? Would my friends at school even miss me? How would Mom explain my disappearance?

Trying my usual
get-to-sleep routine, I began mentally listing songs that Widespread Panic had played: “Space Wrangler”. . . “Superstition” . . . “Red Hot Mama” . . . “Love Tractor”. . .
I wonder what I should wear to dinner tomorrow. Maybe I can find something at Cabela’s. Elwin might like cammo; you never know . . .
“Thought Sausage”. . . “Imitation Leather Shoes” . . . “Georgia” . . .

I start
ed hearing JB singing “Georgia” in my head. New Year’s 2005 was the best show I’d ever seen. Hearing the boys play cover for Ray Charles, that was a moment for sure.
Crap! I’m never going to see another show again either.

This
fairy princess thing certainly came with a lot of strings. I didn’t really have a choice, though. Stay here and the world ends. Be a princess and there is no imbalance, as long as I never leave the kingdom. The thought of leaving the only family I had known hurt bad enough, but to be referred to as a “job” by someone who makes my heart race was even worse.
My life sucks. Fairy princess, my ass.
I rolled away from my crystal and start counting backwards from one hundred. I made it to sixty-seven before I realized I was dreaming again.

I look
ed around the dreamscape. It was nighttime and the stars’ reflections were sparkling across the lake. The stars looked different there than they did on Earth; I didn’t see any familiar constellations and many of them seemed to pulse as much as twinkle. When I looked down, I realized that I was still wearing the black one-piece. It was hard to imagine why I originally thought this looked sexy; I felt completely ridiculous in it. I noticed a small fire about one hundred yards down the beach with a silhouette of someone sitting by it.
It has to be Elwin. He and I are the only two fey who can come here. I really need to get out of here before he sees me
. Before I had a chance to move, he turned his head and looked toward me.
Crap! Why did I wear this tacky thing? Why didn’t I back away three seconds ago? Wake up! Wake Up!
Too late; here he comes.
I gave up hope of ending a potentially uncomfortable moment.

Elwin
stopped about five feet away. His eyes slowly scanned the entire length of my body, moving down, then back up to meet my gaze.
This is too intense; I can’t do this!
I looked away and down to hide my embarrassment.

Elwin cleared his throat and asked, “Would you like to sit by the fire?”

“
That would be nice. Thank you.”

He turned around and
headed back to the dancing flames, and I walked behind him, silently cursing myself and swinging my arms wildly. I stopped just in time before he turned around and motioned to a big, thick blanket next to the fire. It was difficult to sit in the stupid outfit without showing my entire thigh. Elwin was such a gentleman, though; as if he’d read my mind, he reached into a bag and handed me a smaller blanket that I could drape over my legs
. I’m an idiot. He must think I’m an immature child with a crush. Let’s face it, I am.

“
I’m not going to be able to train
tomorrow
. Mom is taking me to Cabela’s for ‘gear’. What kind of gear, exactly? Is it for camping? I hate camping.”

“
You’ll be fine. You’ve never been camping. Therefore, you have no idea whether you like it or not. Your mom knows what you’ll need,” he said as he rearranged the coals with a stick.

“
I also moved my birthday celebration to
tomorrow
afternoon. Mom said there will be no time for goodbyes when the time comes.”

“
That’s true; we leave when we leave.”

“
Mom would also like it if you could come
tomorrow.
She’s going to tell Mama—that’s Mathew’s mom—about all this, and she would like you there for backup and evidence that we’re not crazy. It’s at—”

“
Six. I know. I’ve been watching you for a year, remember?” Elwin said in a clipped tone.

I’m making him uncomfortable in this stupid get
-up. I should make up an excuse about why I’m wearing it…
“I thought I would show up here in the long dress that I usually wear in my recurring dream, since I’m entering the fey realm
through
my dream plane.” I watched as his smile quickly came and went
.
I must have impressed him with my very limited knowledge of la-la land, but he had not looked at me since I sat down. In fact, he had avoided every opportunity to look at me.
I have to get out of here. I have made the biggest fool out of myself wishing for something I can’t have. I need to figure out an exit strategy and execute it. Dammit!

I stood up and tossed aside the blanket. Elwin was watching
me out of the corner of his eye, but didn’t move his head at all. “So, how do I get out of here? I have a big day
tomorrow and need to get up early
.”

Grabbing
the blanket, Elwin stood and draped it over my shoulders. His hands held the edges in place in front of me.
He’s purposely covering me up! I have got to get out of here
. I took a step back, purposely breaking his hold on the blanket; then clutching it myself, I turned and quickly started walking to the tree line. I could hear him following a couple of steps behind me.
Crap! I really don’t know where I’m going or what I’m doing. I’d like to go home now! Just keep walking and don’t look back, stupid little girl playing dress up. This is ridiculous! I have to ask him where to go or I’ll just wander aimlessly.

I stop
ped and turned quickly. He must have been looking down because he crashed right into me, knocking me off balance. Elwin reacted instantly, wrapping me in his arms and not letting me fall. We ended up in a dancers’ dip position—me leaning backwards and him leaning over me. I could not stop looking at his eyes. His hair was blocking some of his face. I removed my hand from his shirt and realized I had been clenching it so hard that my knuckles were turning white. I reached up and brushed my hand across his forehead, sweeping the hair over and behind his ear. He moved his head slightly and nudged my hand to the back of his neck.

“
I do not think you’re a stupid little girl playing dress up.” His voice was thick and gravelly.

Oh
, my God! He can hear everything I’m thinking!
I gasped in shock as Elwin hungrily pressed his lips down on mine, searching, exploring, our tongues entangled in a dance. I reached behind his head and twisted my hands in his hair.
I need you closer.
I lifted up on my tippy toes, trying to get to him, but I was still bent backwards and felt off balance. I heard a growl from somewhere in his chest, then he stood up straight, pulling me up with him. The entire length of my body was touching his but I wanted him closer still. One of his hands left my back and moved slowly down my hip, thigh, and to the back of my knee. This movement caused part of his body to lose contact with mine. I moaned in protest and moved my hands from his hair to his back, trying to pull him back to me. Then, in one swift movement he lifted me and slid me along his body until my legs were wrapped around his waist. I gasped at the ecstatic sensation. He started kissing my neck, and then trailed his kisses upward to my ear, gently biting and sucking it. Then he paused to let out a contented breath into my ear, causing an uncontrollable shiver down my spine. I moaned, the sound new and unrecognizable, even to me.

His hands still under my thighs, Elwin turned us around and headed back toward the fire. He was gently kneaded my legs with his strong fingers, and I tried to adjust my position to force his hands where I needed them. He just pulled me in even tighter and let his rock hard stomach give my core the pressure it needed. By the time we got to the fire, I was panting with desire. He managed to lay us on the ground without removing my legs from around his waist and settled himself between my thighs. I unhooked one leg, sliding it next to his and rubbed it up and down his thigh. I left the other leg around his back. He paused from kissing my neck and looked up at me. He moved slightly, bringing us face to face. One of his hands moved up my body, gently grazing my breast as he found the indentation above my collar bone and rubbed it lightly with his thumb.

Elwin brought his eyes to mine. “
I’ve wanted to do this for a very long time.” The lust in his voice caused me to shudder in anticipation. He lowered his mouth and gently kissed the indentation, opened his mouth wider and licked over the ridge of my collarbone, only to kiss the indentation again. I moaned again, softly this time, as he trailed kisses across my collarbone, stopping to nibble the base of my neck. He found the matching indentation on the other side kissed it, licked my collarbone, and kissed my indentation again. It was both delicious and excruciating.
God I don’t want this to end!
I was desperate for him as I drew his shoulders to me in search of his mouth. I used my leg around his back to pull him even closer. I could feel him shaking. I was shaking.
If you ask, I would say yes
.

As soon as that thought popped in my head
, Elwin pushed himself off me, quickly moved to the other side of the blanket, and left me lying on the ground. I lifted my head and looked at him, breathless and confused.
What the hell just happened?

“
I’m sorry,” he said, his head in his hand. “I shouldn’t have done that. This can’t happen.”

I sat up and crossed my arms over my chest
, rubbing them to ease the sudden chill I felt. “I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?” I turned my head away so he wouldn’t see the tears in my eyes.
What’s up with all this crying? I’ve cried more in the last thirty-six hours than I have in the last thirty-six months.