Meanmna: Book One of the Daearen Realms (3 page)

The dashboard clock said 8:05 when I pulled into the driveway. I put the car in park and gazed up at my house, wondering what, if anything, I should tell my mom. The kitchen lights were on. Mom was probably checking Facebook or re-tweeting some inspirational meme with an ocean photo and an unattributed motivational quote. She has to work early
tomorrow
so she should be calling it a night any minute. I can’t talk to her about what Elwin, the mystery man, just said. The topic of my dad would make for a day trip on an emotional rollercoaster. I learned a long time ago that if I wanted Mom to keep acting like Mom, I should not bring him up, ever. She gets so sad and tries to push through, but it takes so much out of her. It’s also hard on me to watch that.

What if what Elwin said is actually true? Wouldn’t
Mom like to know that she could see him, my dad, again? My dad! Okay, I needed to talk to her. Now! But, what the hell would I say?
Hey, Mom! I totally disregarded what you said and went to the freaky bookstore in town. There, I came to believe that I am completely insane—like “bring-your-insurance-card-and-commit-me” insane. Of course, I’m only crazy if what this really hot guy—I mean, smoking hot guy—said isn’t true. My family, who has been watching me, would like to see me. Not my family as in you, but rather my dad’s family. Surprise! You know dad—the guy you met when you were finishing your dissertation? The guy you fell so completely in love with that you have never gotten over him? Wait, Mom. Please! Mom, don’t cry. You don’t need another bath. Come back!

“
Ahhhh,” I said as I dropped my head on the steering wheel, accidentally hitting the loud and obnoxious car horn. I sat up and covered my mouth with my hands—like that helped. Mom was looking at me through the blinds.
Smile. Okay, you can do this—you have to do this now.
I took a deep steadying breath, got out of the car, and started walking toward the house.
Maybe if I walk slowly enough, she’ll go to bed before I get there.
I rolled my eyes at my own ridiculousness.

When I reached
the front door, I saw that someone had taped a piece of paper to it.  It had been folded in half, but I could tell it was handmade, the kind of paper you see at a craft show. My name was written on it in beautiful swirly calligraphy. The Scotch tape that held it in place ruined the aesthetics, but I guess wax would have been a pain in the ass to clean off later.

I opened the note without removing it from the door; I’d hate myself if I ripped it. There were only two words on the inside
: Good luck
!
I carefully took it off the door and quickly looked around. I could see someone walking away from me about four houses down. He turned to look at me. It was Elwin and he was waving. As his outline started to blur, I heard in my mind,
I can listen if you want me to. I might be able to help with the conversation
.

No, thank you
, I answered back. I gasped when I realized I was communicating with him telepathically.

See? You’re learning already
.

I heard him in my mind, and then he was gone. I was smiling when I walked in
to the house.

Mom was sitting at our huge kitchen table. She must have just oiled it because the parquet pattern was shining like gold
, thanks to the light coming from the chandelier above. Mom had made that Mason jar light fixture. She is such a do-it-yourself-er—she prefers me to call her an “up-cycler.”

“Hey, sweetie. You weren’t gone very long. Are you caffeinated appropriately?” Mom asked. She was wearing a bathrobe, her hair wrapped up in a towel. Her eyes were a still a little red. She looked back down to her iPad. She was playing Words with Friends; she must have already updated her Facebook status.

I stood there, just watching her for
a moment as she studied her board; then she looked up again and asked, “What’s up? You walked in with a huge cat-that-ate-the-canary smile on your face. Now you’re staring at me and frowning like you are a million miles away.” She clicked her iPad off. “It’s a boy, isn’t it? Must be someone I wouldn’t approve of.” She tapped her chin, deep in thought. “A biker. That’s it, isn’t it? I truly do not approve of the new no-helmet laws, so wear one, okay?”

I couldn’t say anything. I must have made her nervous. Switching course, she started again.
“Listen. I know sometimes it seems like I favor Mathew. But as soon as you have a date, I’ll give you fifty bucks, too . . . That sounded terrible. Let me try again—”

“Mom!” I cut her off. “It’s about Dad; I think it’s about Dad. Elwin said
family,
not Dad specifically.” Mom looked like I had just slapped her. “I’m sorry.”

She raised her hand.
“I’ve told you everything I can about your dad. You know that. I have always been honest with you about your father’s time with me.” She looked so sad and mad at the same time. But then I saw a twinkle in her eye. “Elwin? I knew there was a boy involved. I just knew it!”

I sat down acr
oss the table from her and took a deep breath. “You know I’m quirky. I like my things certain ways. I have strange habits. I always think someone is watching me.” Her eyes grew large, but she didn’t say anything, so I began speaking fast before I lost my nerve. “I guess around the end of the school year last year, things got weirder. I can’t really explain it. That ‘being watched’ feeling was a bit more constant—an ever-present anxiety. I hear things—voices. Not random commands or anything Son-of-Sam like, but more like discussions. Sometimes answers to what I’m thinking just blurt out of thin air. I see things that aren’t really there. I became so worried that I looked up my symptoms on Web MD and it said, ‘You are crazy. Check yourself into the loony bin immediately.’ I’m exaggerating and paraphrasing, of course. Things started getting really bad about a week ago. No more feelings of being watched. Instead, I
knew—
I absolutely
knew
there was something or someone by my side almost all the time—but I could not see anything or anyone. Tonight I went to Visions. Yes, I know you don’t like me to go there, but I had to go. That’s another thing or feeling that I can’t quite explain. I’m absolutely driven to that place. Today when I was there, I cut my hand on a crystal. Oh, let me show you.” I looked around for my purse. “Shoot! I must have left it in the car.” I started to get up.

“
Sit. You can get it when you finish.” She waved her hands, motioning for me to continue.

“
So, I met Celine’s niece, Paige.”
What was that look? Mom’s heard that name before.
“I was feeling really crazy because I kept hearing things and tried to make a hasty exit. Paige stopped me on the way out and she gave me the crystal that I had cut my hand on. Then I left, thinking of driving myself to the loony bin.”
Should I tell her I freaked and fainted because there was a stranger in my car? No. I’m going to keep that detail to myself. Should I mention he showed up in my dream? How about my apparent newfound telepathic abilities? Not now.
I cleared my throat and continued. “Outside the store, I met someone named Elwin.”
Should I mention how sexy he was?
I was blushing and decided not to say anything about that. “He said my family wants me to see them and he was here to prepare me for the journey.” I stopped talking and looked at her, waiting for her to respond.

Mom
pursed her lips and tilted her head a little to the left. “And then?”

“
Well, then I freaked out.”

“
Did he say anything else?” She was calm—a little too calm.

“
He said that when I’m ready he can help me understand what’s been going on and who I really am.” I looked down and started picking at a frayed edge of my sweater.

“
It’s not time yet,” mom mumbled under her breath.

“
What?” I looked up.

“
Nothing.” Mom paused for a moment and held her poker face. “Well, when you decide, he will know and find you.” She slid her chair back and stood up. “Why don’t you go get your purse? You can show me the crystal.”

In a bit of a daze, I stood up.
“Okay.” I tried to smile, gave up, and went outside to get my purse. Mathew’s truck was still gone.
It must be one hot date with little Miss S.
I walked around to the back passenger side, opened the door, and leaned into the backseat. It smelled like rain in my car and I wondered if that was what Elwin smelled like. I hurried back inside with my purse in one hand and my crystal in the other.

When I returned to the kitchen, I found it
empty. Mom was not there, but there was a note on the table:

Sarette, I need to think. Let’s talk about this tomorrow after I get back from work. I love you. Try not to make any decisions tonight.

I picked up the note, and sitting under it was a crystal that looked just like mine.

I
threw my purse on my desk and placed both crystals on my nightstand, staring at them until I could finally break my gaze. Then, wiping away the beads of sweat gathering on my upper lip, I took off my heavy sweater, headed to my dresser, and changed into a tank top and boxer shorts. It might be winter in Michigan, but houses in Michigan are wrapped like mummies in winter to keep in as much heat as possible. Hot air rises, making my attic bedroom feel like the seventh level of hell.

I
lay down on my bed and stretched out, mentally and physically exhausted. I needed to sleep a dreamless sleep. I’ve only had two dreams that I can remember. The one where, up until today, I would walk to the mountain range in the distance. The second dream started within the last couple of years and is more of a nightmare. I’m standing at the back of a town square—a town in the Old West. The square is filled with people who are fuzzy and out of focus. There is a stage on the other end of the square, and a man is standing on it, giving a speech. He’s a blurry silhouette, speaking words that I can’t hear, but they give me a creepy ominous vibe that I continue to feel even after the dream ends. I always wake up terrified, but I have no idea what terrifies me.

I roll
ed to my side and looked at the crystals again before turning off the lamp. Staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars that had been super-glued to my ceiling since my childhood, I knew there was no way I could think about today’s happenings and not edge my way a little closer toward insanity. Could it be true?
Don’t think about it . . . Time to sleep. Count sheep. 1, 2, 3, 4. No, not sheep. Think of all the two letter words you can: aa, ab, ad, ae, ah, am, an, as, at . . .

I fluff
ed my pillows, looking for cooler parts of the bed, but something was not quite right. Ah ha. My candles were not burning. I didn’t have a water one anyway, so what was the point? Besides, it would not be safe to leave them burning if I did fall asleep. I decided to name every Widespread Panic song I could think of: “One Arm Steve” . . . “Ain’t life grand” . . .
Elwin’s eyes are so pretty! His black hair with red overtones is so hot.
“Christmas Katie” . . . “Doretha”…
He has nice arms. I wonder if he plays guitar. Who doesn’t dig a guitar player? Stop thinking about him!
I punched my pillow. More Panic songs: “Surprise Valley” . . . “Diner” . . . “Disco”.
What if I could meet my dad? Why did Mom look so strange when I mentioned Paige?
“Blue Indian” . . . “All Time Low” . . . “Climb to Safety”.

“
Grrr! This is pointless!” I sat up, clicked the light back on, and looked at the crystals again.
Where did Mom get hers?
I got up and walked over to the doors that lead to the roof of the porch below. The flat space is large enough to hold the orange vinyl couch that we found in the trash. We enjoy hanging out there in nice weather, but without having any railing, the area can be dangerous in winter when the roof gets icy. Overcome with a sense of urgency around today’s events, and specifically the journey Elwin mentioned, I looked out the window and started talking to myself.

“
Of course, I’m going to say yes. What other choice do I have?”

In a blink
, Elwin was standing outside in the yard, looking pleased as he leaned against a tree. He gazed up at me with that half-smile of his. W
hat is that smile is all about? It’s always there, and so inviting. Is it just a tic?
My heart started racing at the sight of him, and I felt like Juliet opening the door to Romeo as I walked out onto my makeshift balcony.

Near the edge of the roof and from this short distance, I could see that Elwin was
frowning. He disappeared from the yard momentarily, and then popped back up in front of me on the balcony. He placed his hands on my arms and started to rub them up and down.

“
You’re going to freeze out here. Do you want to put on warmer clothes?” He nodded toward the house without breaking his eye contact with me. “I can wait for you.”

Being this close to him,
I felt surprisingly hot, even though it was minus eighteen degrees with the wind chill factor and I was not wearing a coat, shoes, or hat.
I realized I could die of exposure. “You’re right,” I said with a quick smile, and turned to head inside. “Why don’t you come inside for just a minute?”
What has gotten into me? I just invited a strange guy into my bedroom in the middle of the night.
I crossed the room and sat on my bed. “In or out? Shut the door. It’s freezing.”

Elwin
walked into my room, shut the balcony door, and leaned back on it. He crossed his arms and smiled. I grabbed my hot pink Hello Kitty pillow and put it across my lap. Playing with the fringe along the side of the pillow, I sat in uncomfortable silence, not knowing what to say.

“
You really didn’t need to decide tonight. But, I’m glad you did.” Elwin paused. “We can start training
tomorrow
.”

“
Training for what?” I inquired.

“
Your journey.”

“
What journey?”

“
To see your family.”

I took an exaggerated inhale to find my center
. “What family?”

“
You ask a lot of questions.”

“
Listen, I’m still not so sure that I haven’t gone crazy. So, if you wouldn’t mind, could you start providing me with the info I need to figure what . . .” I waved my hands around the room, “…this is all about? I would super-duper appreciate it!” I ended with my arms out and watched as his eyes got bigger.
What is he staring at?
I looked down and noticed how transparent my tank top was. I didn’t have on a bra. I pulled the pillow up over my chest and buried my face in it. I could have died of embarrassment.

I felt Elwin sit down on the
bed next to me. “Sarette, if I could give you all the answers right now, I would. But I can’t because most of it is not my story to tell. Besides, that’s not why I’m here. My job is to get you ready. Where we’re going is not an easy place to get to, and it will be dangerous. But your grandmother and father wouldn’t have sent me unless they trusted me completely.” He reached over and absentmindedly tucked a loose hair behind my ear.

“
My grandmother and my father?” I could barely whisper. “Where have they been the last seventeen years?” I felt tears coming.

“
Due to some complicated situations, it was safer for you to remain a secret. But your father has always kept an eye on you, kept you safe, and has been waiting to meet you. I will prepare you and get you there safely; that was my promise to your family, and it is my solemn oath to you.” Elwin stood up and faced me. He clenched his fist and put it over his heart, bowing his head.

I couldn
’t help but giggle at the pomp and circumstance. “What are you? A knight or something? And what’s with the disappearing act?  Am I going to learn how to become invisible? Are we going to a different dimension?” He smiled as I kept rambling. “Give me something to go on. I have a wild imagination and by the time I see you again, I’ll probably have convinced myself that I’m a fairy princess or something.” Still clenching the pillow tightly to my chest, I waved and circled one hand, as if to say, “anytime now”.

Elwin stood
up straight, crossed his arms over his chest, and looked at me intently. He was even taller than Mathew. Suddenly nervous, I started to avert my gaze downward. Somehow, I settled on his lips and lost my train of thought. I swallowed hard and looked into his eyes. He was smiling, having caught me in such a state of longing. He took a step closer, bent down, and brought his face a couple inches away from mine. For a brief second, I thought he was going to kiss me. But he kept moving until I could feel his breath next to my ear. That sent an involuntary shudder through my body. Slowly, he moved his breath from my ear, down to my shoulder, and back up to my ear. I tried not to show how much it affected me, but surely he must have noticed.

“
Well . . .” His voice was soft, breathy, and torturously seductive as he whispered in my ear, “As a matter of fact, yes, I am a knight, or something. The disappearing act is complicated, but I’ll teach you how to do it. I promise.” It sure seemed that he was talking about something more than physically disappearing. “Yes, sometimes I’m invisible and other times I’m in a different realm.” As I tried to compose myself, he lifted my chin so I could look at him. With a regretful look, he said, “Get some sleep, finish your math homework, and call me when you’re done.” I nodded and the magical moment was over. With only a couple of strides, he reached the other side of the room.

“
I need your number if you want me to call you.”

He turn
ed toward me with his hand on the doorknob. “Just say my name toward the east,” he said as he pointed out the window, “And I’ll be here.” He shut the door as he disappeared.

I
lay down on my bed and was wildly kicking the air with my pillow over my face when I heard Elwin say telepathically,
Goodnight, Princess.
He punctuated his comment with a lilted laugh. All I could do was smile.