Love and Skate (24 page)

             
“If you don’t quit it, I’m not going to let you leave and then Sylvia will be pissed.” She mumbled it all through a mouth covered with pillow.

             
“
Ok, ok.  See you later.  I love you.” I said as I closed her door.

             
Mom was flipping out when I got there.  Thank goodness my brothers and I didn’t go to school until next Monday.  Otherwise, she’d be screwed. 
I started cleaning the dining area and changing table cloths while Falcon and Maddox placed flowers and candles and silverware.  By the time Mom came out again the dining room was ready. The customers flowed in like a tidal wave and before I knew it closing time rolled around. 

             
“You have one last table and then we’re done.” Maddox told me.

             
“Ok, I’ll get it.”  I walked up to the table and looked up to see Nellie.

             
I exhaled and smiled at her.  She smiled back and I cleared my throat.

             
“Ahem, table for one Ma’am?” I cocked my eyebrow at her.

             
“No, for two—I’m waiting on my fiancé.  He’s a very tall, built sexy guy—green eyes, black hair.  Have you seen him?” 
She looked around and checked her watch.

             
“Ha ha, so funny.” I walked over to peck her on the cheek.

             
“Sylvia, can’t you please give him a small break?”  She looked behind me and I turned to see my mom watching the whole scene.

             
“Sit down with my favorite daughter Owen; I’ll bring y’all some cheesecake.” She went to the kitchen and I did as I was told.

             
I sat down next to her
and laid my head on the table and she rubbed my neck without being asked.

             
Mom brought food to the table a few minutes later but I was too tired and had looked at too much food during the day to eat.  Once you’ve seen that much food all day the last thing you want to do is eat it.

             
“Eat Nellie, I’m just exhausted.” I moaned as she moved her massage to my lower back.

             
“
Cindi
bought me dinner.  I just came to see you.”  She said.

             
“I have to stay and clean up.  I’ll be home later.”  I slipped and called her apartment home but she never missed a beat. 

             
“Oh no, I’m staying to help.”  She got up and I couldn’t let her work by herself.  I did, however,
watch her for a few minutes just because of the view.

             
We cleaned up in record time and all closed up together.  Nellie got in her car and I got in mine and we both headed back to her apartment.  She went straight to the bathroom and came back with three pain relievers and a glass of water.

             
“Three for the big guy.” She said
,
“A
nd I’m running you a hot bath.
”
 

             
“Baths are for chicks.” I laughed at her.

             
“Just try it for me this one time and I’ll never say anything about it again.  It’s like the hot tub.  It will relax you.  Trust me.”

             
“Ugh—I don’t think I can get up.” I groaned at her.

             
“Come on Owen.  I’ll help you.”

             
She led me into the bathroom by the hand and pulled my shirt off.  I took my shoes off and then my socks.  We locked eyes as the next natural stage of undressing
crept up.  Her fingers ran down my sides roller
coastering
up and down my ribs and settled on the waistband of my pants.  As the tips of her fingers skimmed the top of my waistband they journeyed to the center.  Her stare never faltering she unbuttoned my pants and they fell down and I stepped out of them.  My ears pounded from the sound of my heartbeat.  Ragged breaths barely escaped my mouth. 
I wasn’t embarrassed.  That wasn’t it at all.  It was just a whole new stage of intimacy and it tempted me beyond belief. 

             
She leaned over and kissed me in the middle of my chest and walked out, her hand leaving a trail across my abdomen as she walked away. 

             
“Enjoy the hot bath and relax.” She said while the door closed. 

             
I shucked the shorts and stepped into the hot water.  I lay back in the tub and of course she was right.  It felt so good on my tired muscles.
  Before I knew it, my eyes were closing on me.

             
There was a knock on the door but at this point I had no energy left to answer her. 

             
I heard the creak of the door as it opened.

             
“Come on Owen, don’t drown on me. Get out.”  I opened my eyes and she had her whole head turned as much as it would and a monster towe
l held out in front of her.  Her
eyes were closed so tight I doubted she’d be able to open them ever again.

             
I got out of the tub and felt like a
skeleton covered with Jell-O, my muscles melting off of me.  I reached out for the towel and she turned her back while I wrapped it around my waist.

             
“Clothe
s on the counter
.”  She called as she left me again.

             
I got dressed and walked out of the bathroom.  I hadn’t bothered with the pajama pants or the shirt. 
I got into the bed and Nellie was already lying facing my side of the bed. 

             
“Well, was I right or was I right?”  I knew she couldn’t help but gloat over the bath thing.

             
“You were right.
It was a long day.  How was yours?” 

             
“It was alright. I taught Ayden how to attach a file to an email.  He didn’t even have a pass to get into the computer lab at the library.  I know he’s new to this school and all but jeez.”

             
I stiffened at the mention of his name.  I didn’t even know why this was worrying me so bad.  Something about his name gave me the creeps.  It seemed familiar but I didn’t know why. 
I didn’t want to be filled with jealousy.  And I didn’t want to admit to myself how much I was comparing this situation to Amy and Lucas.  It was like my brain played the reel of the relationship as background noise and it just wouldn’t stop.  I hated it and I hated how it was clawing and gnawing at me.  Maybe Dr. Phil wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

             
“Why do you do that?” Her tiny voice
broke into my
thought train like a scratch on a record.

             
“Do what?” I focused on her pale blue eyes instead of off in space.

             
“You zone out.  It happens a lot lately.  And it happens a lot when I mention Ayden.  And it’s gotten worse since the mention of Amy in Arkansas.  Just
be honest with me.  Let me in.  I’m not stupid and I know those little quirks of yours.  Your whole body freezes every time I mention something about him.” She squeezed my hands with every plea but I couldn’t bear to tell her how far gone I was inside.

             
“I’m fine—I just don’t like—you said he flirted—I just don’t like it.”  I rambled and babbled in an attempt to feed her half truths.

             
“You’re not fine.  And you’re lying to me.  And apparently you don’t trust me.  Because if you trusted me there would be nothing to be upset about with Ayden.  And if you trusted me you wouldn’t be lying to my face right now.  I am
not
believing this shit.”

             
She got out of bed and walked out the bedroom door slamming it behind her.

             
A few seconds later I heard the front door slam.

             
I jumped out of bed and started towards the door when I realized I was only wearing a pair of boxers.  I threw on some shorts and a
hoodie
as fast as I could and rushed out of the door and to the parking lot.  She was already gone and I was the
asshat
now.

             
I must’ve called her phone eight
y
nine times.  I paced in front of the door until Amber came out to see what was wrong. 

             
“What the hell Owen?” She asked half asleep.

             
“
Ipissedheroffsheleftshewon’tanswerherphone
.”  I said in words run together.

             
“Ok, let me call her.” She went back into her room and came out phone attached to her ear.

             
“Ok, I’m sorry—N
o, he didn’t tel
l me—I
was just checkin
g on you for the love of God—Don’t jump my ass—Ok
, ok, I’ll tell him.”  She yelled at Nellie and then hung up.

             
“She says to stop calling her she will be home in ten minutes.”  She went back to her room and slammed her door.  There was a lot of slamming doors tonight.

             
I sat on the couch and bounced my knees until they bounced on their own without effort. 

             
True to her word, about ten minutes later, she walked in and glared at me.

             
“Go home Owen.” She said and went straight into her bedroom and when the door closed gently and almost silently I knew that her anger had turned to hurt.

             
I went into the bedroom, grabbed my keys, wallet and backpack and left.
She was in the bathroom and the sound of her crying killed me.
I got into my car and drove home ashamed of myself and for letting the green monster take hold of me.

             
The next day we both had classes all day and instead of bugging her relentlessly, I handed my phone to Dylan in the morning and asked him to turn it off and not give it to me until Saturday.  I didn’t trust myself to leave her alone.  What I wanted to do was find her and beg her forgiveness.  I wanted to reach inside myself and remove the history of hurt that continued to creep into my love for Nellie.

             
Saturday morning I heard Dylan’s phone ringing early, very early.  I went to sleep about four in the morning and it felt like I had been awake all night. 

             
“Answer the phone Dylan, that
Nickelback
crap is driving me
batshit
.”

             
“Hello?” He answered and then threw the phone at me.

             
“What?” I answered not knowing who would call me on his phone.

             
“Why is your phone off? I’ve been calling you since yesterday afternoon.”  It was Nellie and I could’ve
cried at the sound of her voice and I’d never been a crier.

             
“I didn’t want to bother you.  I was going to turn it on this morning.”

             
“
Wanna
have breakfast?” She still sounded agitated but at least she was speaking to me again.

             
“Diner in thirty minutes?” I asked hoping that the venue would help my case.

             
“Yeah.
” She hung up and I threw my phone back and hit Dylan in the chest.

             
“I knew that wouldn’t last long.” Dylan laughed referring to Nellie and I fighting.

             
I showered and dressed in jeans and a thermal shirt.  I put on some Chucks and headed out determined to get there early.

             
I got in and sat at the booth in the corner ready to get this over with.  I ordered her some orange juice and waited.  She approached the booth.  I knew it was her without even looking up.  I struggled to look her in the eye.  I couldn’t tolerate hurting her.

             
The waitress approached and she ordered for the both of us.  I waited for her to crack the silent barrier.

             
“I’m sorry for making you go home but I’m not sorry for what I said.  It was the truth.  If something bothers you, it bothers me.  If you’re hurting, I’m hurting.  If you’re distant I can feel it.  And when you lie, it kills me.”  She played with her orange juice using a straw to stir it.

             
“There’s something going on with me.  And it’s not about Ayden, though that little punk seemed to make it worse.  It started after Christmas.  I had a meltdown in the kitchen of the restaurant on New Year’s night.  I still feel like I don’t deserve you.  Seeing your parents and how they live and that huge house made me think that one day you’ll wish I could gi
ve you those things. 
Then there’s something about this Ayden guy.  It’s like he seems so familiar to me even though I’ve never even seen him. And no matter how hard I try
,
that thing with Amy and Lucas…” I cleared my throat and continued, “I trust you.  I do.  I just need to clear my head of these demons.  They’re eating at me and I can’t make them stop.”