Life on the Edge (33 page)

I placed my palm on my forehead, not knowing if I should laugh or cry even more at the irony of the situation.
Now
Mom was ready to accept Sergei.

My phone beeped and a red light flashed. “Mom, my battery’s low. I can use Sergei’s phone to call you later, okay? We’re almost to the rental car desk.”

“Be careful, sweetie.” She sniffled. “Call me soon. I love you.”

I took off my glasses to dry my eyes, and Sergei’s hand touched my shoulder. I flinched. He balled his hand and stared at it until the desk clerk motioned us forward.

Armed with a large foldout map of the entire country and keys to a Ford Explorer, Sergei and I set off on our long journey home. He offered to drive first, so I settled into the smooth leather passenger seat. I used his phone to let Dad know we were on our way and left a message for Mom when she didn’t answer.

The radio fed us a constant stream of updates about the terrorist attacks. Neither of us said much as we listened to the gruesome eyewitness accounts. I rested my arm on the console between the seats, but when Sergei squeezed my hand, I quickly pulled it out of his grasp.

“I can’t even touch you now?” His eyes crinkled with hurt and confusion.

I hugged my chest and faced the window. “Not after last night.”

“What happened last night?”

I shook my head in disbelief at his innocent act. “I saw you go to Leah’s room.”

“What? I didn’t go anywhere near her room,” he insisted.

“I saw you whispering together in the bar, and when you left, your elevator stopped on her floor.”

He lowered the volume on the radio. “I stopped on
your
floor. I was going to talk to you.”

I whipped my head in his direction. “Then how come I didn’t see you when I went upstairs?”

“I decided when I got up there I shouldn’t bother you. I figured you’d probably get madder at me.”

His explanation sounded so plausible, but I couldn’t forget what I’d seen in the bar. “What were you whispering about? And why was Leah all over you?”

“She wasn’t all over me. How did you see us, anyway? Were you spying on me?”

“I was in the lobby checking email, and the bar was in plain view. Why don’t you answer my question?”

“Are you going to believe me when I tell you?”

I noticed the speed of the car had picked up along with the tension of the conversation. The flat Texas landscape flew by outside my window.

“Just tell me.”

He glanced in the rearview mirror and slowed the car. “She gave me her room number, but I told her I’m seeing someone, and that was the end of it.”

“Why would she ask you up to her room unless she thought you were interested?”

“I don’t know. We went out a few times in Chicago. I guess she got the wrong idea.”

I peered at him sideways. “Are you sure you didn’t give her the wrong idea?”

“No.” He took his eyes off the interstate to look at me. “I can’t believe you thought I would sleep with her.”

“You left within a minute of each other and you ended up on her floor.” My voice shook. “Tell me what I was supposed to think.”

Anguish darkened his face. “You’re supposed to know I love you and would never even consider doing something like that.”

I slunk down in my seat and bowed my head to hide the tears. Everything was such a mess. So many miles lay both between us and ahead of us, and I didn’t know how long it would take to travel either distance.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

“Are you hungry?”

Those were the first words Sergei spoke in almost two hundred miles. After I’d accused him of cheating on me, he’d turned up the radio and gone quiet.

“A little,” I replied.

We were somewhere in Arkansas. I looked at the map for the fiftieth time and sighed at how far we were from home.

Sergei exited the interstate and followed the signs to the nearest fast food drive thru. I searched for the healthiest item on the menu and was happy to have the salad as a distraction in the silent car.

The radio reports became even more devastating as the hours passed, and phone calls home revealed everyone’s continued state of shock. Aubrey said the skaters at the rink were already thinking of ways to raise money for the victims’ families, while Chris said prayer services were being planned across the island. Mom kept me on the line the longest, seemingly trying to make up for the time we’d lost. She described the scene on Boston University’s campus–American flags were popping up in dorm windows and hundreds of students had gathered to pray on the quad.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the passengers on the planes and the people trapped in the towers. What must’ve gone through their minds during their final moments?

I stared at the radio and shook my head. “All those people got up this morning, went to work, went to the airport, having no idea they would never see their friends and family again.”

Sergei gave me a quick glance and paused a few moments before he spoke. “I can’t imagine making that last phone call like some of them did. How do you say everything you need to in a minute or less?”

“Makes you realize how important it is to not wait until it’s too late to say those things.”

A longer pause hung between us, and Sergei snuck another look my way. “It’s good you and your mother are talking again. I went through something similar with my father.” He rubbed his hand slowly over the steering wheel. “After I quit skating.”

“What happened?”

“He thought skating was my one chance to do something great. When Elena got pregnant, he kicked me out of the house and didn’t speak to me for a long time.”

“How long?”

“A couple of years. Until he found out I was moving to the States.”

“A couple of
years
? Wow.” I threaded my fingers through my hair, pushing it away from my forehead. “I can’t imagine how tough that must’ve been.”

“It was very hard on my mother. She blamed my father when I told her I was leaving Moscow.”

“Was he the reason you left?”

Sergei shook his head. “When I got the offer from my friend to coach in Virginia, I felt it would be a fresh start. I wanted to put everything behind me.”

I absorbed the new information, yet another important part of Sergei’s life he hadn’t shared with me. “All those months my mom and I weren’t talking, you never mentioned your dad.”

He shifted in his seat and kept his eyes on the road.

“Because then you would’ve had to tell me about the baby,” I added quietly.

A few pairs of headlights zoomed past us before Sergei said, “You never would’ve screwed up like I did. You’re perfect and–”

“I’m not perfect.”

“You are to me.” He turned to face me and then looked away. “I didn’t want you to know the mistakes I’ve made, to regret getting involved with me.”

“You were eighteen when you made those mistakes. You’re a different person now. You want me to trust you, but you didn’t trust me enough to open up to me.” I kept my tone as calm as possible.

“If I could do it over again, I’d tell you everything.”

I lowered my eyes to my lap. “I want to believe that.”

“But you don’t.” He wasn’t able to mask the pain in his voice.

“I don’t know,” I said sadly. My heart longed to put all my faith in him, but my head wouldn’t get out of the way.

Silence returned to the car. Not long after we passed Nashville, Sergei started massaging his neck and squirming against his seatbelt. “We should probably stop soon for the night. I saw signs for some motels up ahead.”

The lights of Cookeville approached. Sergei drove slowly down a row of motels and pulled into the Country Inn, which appeared the newest of the bunch. A handful of cars dotted the parking lot of the neat two-story building, so vacancy didn’t seem to be an issue.

The young clerk welcomed us with an easy smile. He told us about the complimentary breakfast and directed us to adjacent rooms on an exterior corridor. As we unloaded our suitcases from the car, I asked Sergei if I could borrow his phone. I’d forgotten my charger at home, so mine was useless.

A strong lemon scent greeted me upon entering my room. I felt my way in the darkness to the lamp, peeled away the comforter, and collapsed on the bed, stretching out my stiff limbs. I wasn’t accustomed to being so immobile.

A hot shower beckoned, so I set aside Sergei’s phone to call my parents later. The steaming water loosened the knots in my back and neck. I stood under the powerful spray longer than usual, letting the warmth relax both my body and my mind.

After I put on my pajamas and combed my damp hair, I curled up on the bed and called my parents’ house.

“Hey, Mom, we’re at a motel in Tennessee.”

“Do you have your own room?”

I let out a tired laugh. No matter how upside down the world had become, some things never changed. “Yes, Mom.”

“Make sure your deadbolt is locked. You never know what kind of people are staying at those places.”

I smiled and shook my head. I never thought I’d miss Mom’s over protectiveness, but her safety reminder gave me a comforting feeling.

“We’ll probably be home late tomorrow night. I can’t wait to get back on the ice.”

“Will you come to the house after you pick up your car at the airport? It’s been so long since I’ve seen you,” she whimpered.

“Definitely.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I should get to sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be another long day.”

Slipping on my flip flops, I went out into the muggy night to return Sergei’s phone. I knocked on his door and gulped when he answered. All he wore was a pair of gray pajama pants tied low on his waist. Even without my contacts, I could see the sculpted muscles of his shoulders and chest. My eyes drifted lower, following the light trail of hair down his flat stomach.

Sergei gave me the same once-over, his gaze lingering on my thin tank top and tiny shorts. A flush of heat spread from the nape of my neck up to my cheeks.

I handed him the phone. “Thanks for letting me use it.”

“No problem. Can you take a look at the map with me?” He gestured behind him. “I think I found a shorter route.”

I hesitated, but his magnetic eyes drew me inside. “Sure.”

I picked up the opened map from the desk and held it close to my nose, while Sergei positioned himself next to me, accelerating my heart rate. He smelled like soap–really good-smelling soap.

He pointed to a highway on the map. “We can bypass Baltimore and Philadelphia if we take Interstate Seventy-Eight. Less traffic.”

My mouth felt drier than a saltine cracker. “That’s a good idea.”

He cleared his throat. “Have you ever driven that way before?”

“
Mmmm
. . .” I was having trouble focusing. Lack of sleep and food plus Sergei’s half-naked body hovering near me did not equal sharp thinking. “I don’t think so.”

His hand dropped from the map and grazed my arm. This time I didn’t flinch. I couldn’t move. Sergei was so close one slight shift would put my face against his bare chest.

“I know how much you want to get home.” His voice, so soft and tender, wrapped around me like a loving embrace.

I made the mistake of looking up into his eyes. Their intensity hypnotized me, taking me outside of myself. The map slid from my fingers as I pressed my body to Sergei’s. His breath hitched, and he took my face between his hands.

Our lips met, and I savored the initial spark. We eased into the kiss, our tongues slow dancing with each other. His fingers got lost in my hair, while my hands ran across his back. The heat of his skin on mine sent rapid impulses down to my toes.

“I’m never going to let you down again, I promise.” Sergei’s lips touched mine as he spoke.

In a flash, I remembered my hurt and anger when I’d found out Sergei had lied to me. The idea of going through that again terrified me.